im sorry for posting a stupid thread like this........ive never messed around with a women in my life and i am still a pure virgin at the age of 19 because i fear Allah...........and just so u kno ive never even spoken to this women in my life

anyways i can tell u the story but it is too long......

does the hadith say anything about falling in love with a women.....not just a crush but truly falling in love.....ive searched everywhere and ive read the quran twice and the thing that helped me alot was this quote from the quran

22. No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah.

23. In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favours bestowed upon you. For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster,-

please someone help me it hurts so much......this is the most pain i have ever felt in my life.....it feels like i lost heaven, it feels like im already dead.....and no matter what i do i cant have her.......

does the hadith say anything about the women feeling the same way someday?.

i used to have dreams about her at least every other night.......and in all these dreams she was ignoring me.....but i remember the final dream i had about her was the best ever...........

THE LAST DREAM: we were sitting in a car in the park and i was so amazed by her beauty I fell out of the car...there was a little kid next to me and i told him isn't she beautiful and he looked over my shoulder , then i looked over my shoulder and she was right in front of my face....i got up and she tried kissing me ..i was scared so i avoided her.....then all of sudden she appears at a far distance...being scared that she might leave forvever i call her back.....and she reappears next to my face........this time she comes up to me and says "what?"( with a beautiful smile) and then she quickly kisses me and laughs and then walks away.......and i woke up with a smile on my face.....and i was happy the whole day

i know it sounds stupid.....but u people dont kno the pain in my heart

Selamu Aleykum brother,

the best way for you would be to ask your parents to arrange a visit to the girls family ad ask for their parents permission for marriage.
The love to the opposite sex is haram only when its out of the scope of serious relationship. You heal this pain with intention to marry. If you are rejected then you need to accept the consequences and work on redirecting your attention to somebody else until you get married. This is a normal stage in the life of every man. You need to find a halal solution.

PEACE

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How can it be anything other than a crush? You haven't ever spoken to her, you know nothing about her - what is it that you like about her? You sound like you have an obsession over a woman who you don't know anything about, you probably like her based on her beauty - clearly you're not mature enough to be in a relationship just yet. Turn to Allah and ask Him for help before you get yourself into trouble, you're not thinking straight. As they say... "Love" is blind and all that, my advice to you would be engage in remembrance of Allah, get yourself out of this dangerous way of thinking.

assalaam alaikum

before i say any thing i just want to tell you to be carefull.shaytaan is very tricky.as said before 'love' is blind and can become a dangerous arrow form the shaytaan.

as some one has said before, you sound as if you are attracted by her physical beauty.if you want to know if she is really the one you are looking for,consider a few things about her like...is she muslim?how is her conduct?is she suitable to bring up your children?...etc. beauty is only temporary.but behaviour lasts long...

if you want to beautiful life,the best woman would be one who is religious.As the prophet mohamed (IMG:style_emoticons/default/s.gif) has said....i dont remember the exact hadhith...but the overall meaning is....poeple get married due to one's beauty or wealth or his/her fame or his/her religiousness.choose one that is religious....maybe some one can post the full hadhith here some time.

if you want to be sure whether your relation with her would be right...why dont you do isthikhaarah?it really helps.

hope this helped you.salaam alaikum

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Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. [Sahih Bukhari]

thank you all for your replies..you helped alot....yes she is a muslim and she covers her body and respects her parents which means she respects Allah....and sometimes i see her go to the Masjid because i go............ur all right it is her beauty.......but how come it feels like if i dont marry her my life means nothing......its just constant pain.....and everytime i see her the pain comes back.........i tried askin my dad to get married to her twice but he got real mad because he wants me to have a good life and not to mess it up......and i have to marry a women that is also a descendant of the prophet......so no matter what i cant have her unless Allah wills...........

final question and i need the truth.........

1) will i ever have her in jannah.???....i need the truth.......will i ever even see her in jannah.....i kno shes a good women based on how she covers her body and other things.........i read some where on this thread that a man gets 72 women and the most beautiful houri is the wife he married on earth.......and somewhere on i read that u stay with ur wife in heaven the time u had her on earth...2) is that true? will i have her after she goes her own way in heaven......i kno it sounds stupid but please it hurts so much......

and just so you brothers know.....its not the sexual intercourse i care about......i just want to be with her and protect her from this sinful world......if it was pleasure i seek it wouldnt be a problem because women outnumber men......

i want to add one more thing....dont judge a book by it's cover....i am not telling that she is bad,but just be careful.

and about your dad wanting you to marry a descendant of the prophet (IMG:style_emoticons/default/s.gif) .....well it is clear that he does not want you to have any relation with her...obeying your parents would be obligatory for you....and have you tried doing isthikhaara?

about you having her in jannah....well i cant say anything for sure,but if you get to enter jannah,then there is no end to the happiness.
wa Allah a'alam

Salam brother
If she is to be your wife as decreed by Allah swt, then she will be yours, if not then if the whole world is on your side, you will still not have here, because it's the wills fo Allah swt.
On ther hand, if you cant get her, then just be patient with Allah swt, because Allah swt love those who are patient, now tell me would you throw the love of Allah swt just for her or would you prefer Allah swt to love you? It's your decision, surely you know in heart what is best and eternal and worth it.
Change that love, love someone who will love you, if you remember your lover once, your lover will remember you 10 time or more and will ask the whole creation in the heaven and earth to love you as well.

I know how you feel, that's why it's better to deattached our self from this world and attach it to something for which we are created for.

The above comments were based on as you mention that you cannot have her. The comments would have been different if you said their is possibility of having her.


It's not in you hand to protect her, she will recieve her sins share if any sins are decreed for her, protect your self at this moment, that would be better for you and for your parents.


And just addition i remember somewhere in hadith, Prophet Muhammad PBUH mentioned that if you love something in this world so much you will be with them in hereafter. So if you love that women so much then if God wills you will be with her but i dont know in what relationship, if you love Allah swt in this world, you will be with Allah swt, if you love Prophet swt in this world you will be with him and so and so.. I will try to get that hadith Inshallah soon.. when i get it will post it..

Here is the hadith..
Rasulullah (sall-Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam) declared, 'One will be with whom one loves.' As written in Muslim's book, someone asked Rasulullah about the next world, and Rasulullah asked, 'What have you prepared for the next world?' That person said, 'I have prepared my love for Allah and for His Rasul.' Rasulullah said, 'You will be with those whom you love.'
Source: http://www.hizmetbooks.org/Advice_for_the_Muslim/wah-35.htm
Go to the source i would recommend you so you will stand what type of love prophet is talking about and read through carefully.


Peace

This post has been edited by Mercyonmankind: May 11 2008, 12:36 PM

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I think that "pain" you are referring to is that "sinking" feeling in your stomach. I think everyone has experienced it at some point.

I understand that you think you want to be with her, and infact MAYBE she is good for you. HOWEVER, you're not thinking straight right now and your putting far too much emotion into your decision, this can lead to alot of harm. You're interested in her, fair enough, but it shouldn't be based solely on emotion, marriage isn't all "lovey lovey" and don't expect a "and they lived happily ever after". Yes, you do need a companion in this world, who can assist you (and you her) to please Allah ...that's what your decision should be based on.

ur all right.........thank you all for your replies....you guys/gals have helped me out alot...

thank you mercyonmankind for ur help and for finding that quote....it gave me hope in the future.....

"if you remember your lover once, your lover will remember you 10 time or more and will ask the whole creation in the heaven and earth to love you as well."

is this talking about ur wife or any person u fall in love with?

anyways thank you all soo much for ur replies......i feel good inside....i dont kno what to say to make a prayer for you...but Allah knows whats in my heart towards those who helped and had an intention of helping.....insha Allah when i go back to yemen for a vacation, ill learn to read and write arabic only so i can read the quran....finding a wife who is pure,innocent,smart, god fearing, is best for me...

i luv this website.....i found it by accident but im gonna be on this website more often....helpin this community grow....and tryin to help others like all of you have helped me

Assalamu Alaikum,

I think there is some kind of confusion in the post that "Mercyonmankind" made. The topic starter "descendant ot the prophet" is taking it all wrong.




Below is the translation of the hadith that the brother problaly wants to relate:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:If Allah has loved a servant [of His] He calls Gabriel (on whom be peace) and says: I love So-and-so, therefore love him. He (the Prophet peace be upon him) said: So Gabriel loves him. Then he (Gabriel) calls out in heaven, saying: Allah loves So-and-so, therefore love him. And the inhabitants of heaven love him. He (the Prophet peace be upon him) said: Then acceptance is established for him on earth. And if Allah has abhorred a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel and says: I abhor So-and-so, therefore abhor him. So Gabriel abhors him. Then Gabriel calls out to the inhabitants of heaven: Allah abhors So-and-so, therefore abhor him. He (the Prophet peace be upon him) said: So they abhor him, and abhorrence is established for him on earth.

Related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, Malik, and at-Tirmidhi).

Assalamu Alaikum.

Waalaikum asalam
Yep brother you are right, thanks for clarying it up, that statement only apply to God, hopefully i am right, if not may Allah swt forgive me..i shouldnt have posted, i meant something else, such as some poet right poem with meaning only his heart, but other people take it whatever way please them, so their is nothing wrong with my statement, it's the choice of person how he take.

Anyway as Prophet PBUH said that you will be with those whom you love in this world, rest of it's meaning Allah swt knows best.. That was what descendat of the prophet worried out..
Btw my whole point was to love Allah swt and that's what i meant by change your love.

Anyway don't worry, the Kingdom of Allah swt is unlimited if you are among the blessed one then i believe you will rewarded with whatever you want or something that you never thought of and it's not hard for Allah swt to give, in the end Allah swt knows best.

This post has been edited by Mercyonmankind: May 13 2008, 10:27 AM

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It's not something you should even worry about to be honest. We need to concentrate on actually attaining paradise, you can't compare the women of dunya to the women of paradise. Rest assured that you will be happy.