Assalamulaikum sisters and brothers.

I have been married for 2 years and we have a one year old child. The other day I was on the computer as I use it regurlaly for my studies. Me and my husband have a joint computer so he knows I go on it so I was not snooping if anyone says that.

Anyways I am studying my final year of law and use the laptop to help me. I had lost track of a website and I figured maybe it was still in my history documents. What I saw instead crushed my heart and now I don't know what to do.

My husband will be travelling with us for Eid to Pakistan and after in the month of november me and my child will stay there. He will be coming bk home and then going to Miami, which I already know as he has told me and he is going there on business for 2 weeks and meet up with his friend who I also know. But what I found was searches for Miami prostitution places and clubs in Miami, now my heart is torn and I don't know what to do.

I often ask him if he is happy with me and if there is anything he wants changing I am willing to do but he always tells me that he is very happy and loves me and that we will spend rest of our life together. We have also been thinking about trying for another baby. I believe him when he says this, I gave up a lot for him. My family have literally disowned me because of another matter so basically all I have is him and our child.

My question is that if he loves me, why search for such a thing especially since he is going to that place soon? I am unsure of what I should do any guidance will be much appreciated.

Jazakallah and please keep me in your duas and I will do the same

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Please do ask him why he had searched for those places , sis. It will only eat you up if you don't and are drawing conclusions for yourself.

Is it not possible fr you to go with him to Miami on this business trip?

Assalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahee wa Barakatu

Talk to him about this topic and ask him the questions that you want to ask him. Teach him also if you can. Try everything to get him back on the right track or keep him on the right track, even if you shred his flight ticket to prevent him from this business trip.

We are all human beings and we are all weak creatures. Therefore, be patient with him and don't be rude or in a manner that causes a greater evil. However, if I were in a situation like this I would do everything to prevent close the door for my spouse from the promptings of Shaytaan, even if I do something that the spouse does not like such as throwing away liquor, cigarettes, or flight tickets. Yes, it is easier said than done. And I not always do that myself because I fear that the person may get upset very badly.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala give you strength and courage in this matter and release you and your husband from the promptings of Shaytaan and may Allah protect your family from disunity, because this is a goal of Shaytaan.

Assalamualikum,

Many thanks for your advice. Inregards to your questions, no I cannot go on this trip with him as he would like me to stay in Pakistan for a month to take care and spend time with his mother which I also did last year and I am more than happy to do as I believe respect for elders is the most important thing you can do.

I have asked him to come home early today as there is something I need to talk to him about. I will ask him about it and see what he says. I just hope I don't lose courage. What I don't understand is that he is a very respected man, he prays 5 times a day although waking him up for Fajr is difficult he still manages to do it. His brothers and sisters are all in well loved marriages and I get along with each and every one of them. He asked me to wear a hijab, not the face covering just the long gown after we got married as he would feel better and I agreed because he is my husband and up till now has never led me on the wrong path.

I will talk to him tonight and see what happens.

Jazakallah for you kind help

Assalamu alaikum, I am glad you are going to talk to himabout the issue. There is always a possibility that he mus be searching for something like a Hotel or directions or anything else that he needs when he is there and these pop ups came up. Usually this pop ups get saved in the History log.

I hope that's what it is, and I pray to Allah that everything will be fine, and it is just some misunderstanding. Use wisdom when talking to him please.

Assalamu Alaikum.

Assalamu Alaikum,

Well Sister, I see all the others here have given you good advice, Masha Allah, and I find you to be very concerned with this problem. So do what the others here are asking Insha Allah, because if he's about to or intending to do a bad thing, this might be his first time, so you must try to stop your husband in a good way so his desires for something like this isn't fueled by the Shaytaan, and so he doesn't get addicted. The sooner you deal with a problem the better, Insha Allah. Perhaps if you stand up to him, it might show him that you (his wife) aren't gullible and that you actually care about him for sure, Insha Allah. Also, pray to Allah in prostration during Tahajjud prayers. And Insha Allah I will pray for you and your husband, hoping your situation becomes settled, and that he gives up his evil intentions if he has any.

Here's a Hadith or two, which I hope you will find helpful:

Abu Hurairah quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying:

“May Allah bless the man who gets up during the night to pray and wakes up his wife and who, if she refuses to get up, sprinkles water on her face. And may Allah bless the woman who gets up during the night to pray and wakes up her husband and who, if he refuses, sprinkles water on his face.” (Ahmad)

"....highly recommended for you to observe Tahajjud Prayer, for it was the practice of your righteous predecessors.The Tahajjud prayer brings you close to your Lord, atones for your sins, drives disease from the body, and puts a stop to transgression.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

“The closest that a slave comes to his Lord is during the middle of the latter portion of the night. If you can be among those who remember Allah the Exalted One at that time, then do so.” (At-Tirmidhi)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said:

“If a man wakes his wife and prays during the night or they pray two rak`ahs together, they will be recorded among those (men and women) who (constantly) make remembrance of Allah.” (Abu Dawud.)

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He is curious about these things. Since you mentioned pakistani, i'm guessing he is also pakistani and if thats the case you know the culture is pretty kind of closed off to western attitudes and such things. But sometimes guys are just curious about these things.

maybe he was looking for areas to avoid so that he may resist temptation??
or perhaps its a joke against some friend.... idk what to tell you
i hope it 's not what it seems
may Allah bless you and your family and get you through this

If you guys have a joint computer then why would he check out sex places knowing that theres a possibility you might see it?? Could it be possible that when he looked up miami that sex sites came up and just out of curiosity he looked, or he could have gone on the site by mistake, either or you should speak directly to him, and tell him your feelings. WWhat is obivious Allah will make known if you remain pure

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I know this is causing you a lot of emotional distress. But we also need to think practically. If he's actually planning to do something haraam (which you will need to discuss with him), is this the first time? And if it's not, what health risks does he present to you and your future children? There have been many cases of a spouse committing adultery and bringing a very horrible disease into the family. STDs are always a big concern.

You need and deserve answers, if not for your mental well-being, but for your physical one. I pray that this is all one big misunderstanding, and I also pray that Allah removes you from this hardship. Talk to him.

Salam Sis,,

I really really feel for you honestly (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) i pray sincerely your husband comes back on the right path inshAllah..One of my aunties back in Pakistan has the same problem, her husband comes to London and France for business trips, but he ends up looking around for escort services, she found out through her brother who happens to live their. Sis all i can advise is to build up a proper Islamic environment at home, try to practice Islam to the fullest so that he can be influenced by it wtth your practice, it will take time but he will come round to it and repent. You could try discussing this with him as it is your right, but to be honest it won't stop him from doing it because my aunty did the same, she tried to prevent my uncle from travelling but he shouts back and leaves her upset. Just make dua after every salah inshAllah, he is their to listen and will help inshAllah. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)