Posted 20 February 2006 - 08:18 PM
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
-- Sam Ewing (Readers Digest, Dec, 1997)
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
-- J. Paul Getty
Posted 23 February 2006 - 02:13 AM
-- George W. Bush
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
Posted 23 February 2006 - 02:26 AM
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
-- George W. Bush
I love his funny quotes.
Posted 23 February 2006 - 02:36 AM
â€œOh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.â€
- Homer Simpson
Posted 24 February 2006 - 12:18 AM
-- Ron Nesen
Posted 25 February 2006 - 05:05 PM
-- Chris Rock
Posted 28 February 2006 - 07:59 PM
-- Milton Berle
The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.
-- Robert Paul
Posted 01 March 2006 - 11:08 PM
-- Flip Wilson
Posted 03 March 2006 - 10:54 AM
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.
Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result.
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
When good americans die they go to paris; When bad americans die they go to america.
Posted 04 March 2006 - 10:27 PM
-- Douglas Adams
Posted 05 March 2006 - 10:03 AM
Here is one :
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
Posted 06 March 2006 - 09:26 AM
This is both funny and true...
What comes out of you when you are squeezed is what is inside you.
- Wayne Dyer
Posted 06 March 2006 - 03:26 PM
" I have made good decisions in the Past...I have made good decisions in the Future"
"The French have no word for Entrepeneur"
Edited by Abu_Sulaiman, 06 March 2006 - 03:27 PM.
Posted 09 March 2006 - 04:46 PM
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
"I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
Posted 09 March 2006 - 05:47 PM
LOL at Ilie Nastase!!!
Edited by Abu_Sulaiman, 09 March 2006 - 05:47 PM.
Posted 10 March 2006 - 04:19 AM
"My friendship is like an onion which has many
layers in it. It will add taste to your life ,
but if u try to cut it, u will have tears in
Author : Unknown
Posted 10 March 2006 - 04:26 AM
An apple a day keeps a doctor away. An onion a day keeps everyone away.
Posted 10 March 2006 - 09:12 AM
My friend send me this and i think it is hilarious!
"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference."
Author : Unknown
Posted 11 March 2006 - 02:04 AM
"The problem isn't with Bush's sincerity, but with his evident conviction that he's doing God's will." -- Martin E. Marty, "The Sin of Pride," Newsweek, March 2003
â€œMarge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!â€
-- Homer Simpson