2 replies to this topic

[female]

It's early morning here and I m completely upset and broken. I wanted this morning to be beneficial,but here I m,guilty and regretful.

I yelled at mom.Talked back and shouted until she hit me back. But shes the one who started.I m annoyed by her bad talk and slandering,her bashing on things she dislikes/hates.I was controlling my behavior for a while,until today.Today ,I simply blew it. I wanted to read some Qur'an.After the tantrum,I picked up my Quran and tried to read.But how can I ?I just committed a major sin and now,I wanna be all khair . I m disappointed with myself, with my inability to cope, with my external religiosity& failure inside, with my intolerance. I hate it.But I can't help it. I m weak.

My mom has issues.She does this and that blah blah… Seriously I cannot change her like I used to think when young. But the problem is, desperate the difficulty &mental torture she gives,she deserves the respect and birr that Allah has destined for her motherhood,for her suffering while she raised me. Im unable to give her, her right half the time. She has already declared that she wished she never had me….. Though she is what she is, I have NO right to be disrespectful to her. I really don’t know how to change my attitude.I m a bad daughter and I fear I'll raise bad children. I fear, my deeds will turn into dust because of this. My paradise is under her feet!I m seriously under risk…..

Even now, she's grunting and complaining about what I said and did. If I apologize,she'll only say,"how many times you have done this….!" Subhanallah! Allah has put up with me much more.But in return I m disobedient.

I have reached this point of regret many times.But I have not improved from here.I always fail with my mom.

But Allah gave me this test.He thinks I CAN withstand it.Then why do I fail?Where Do I fail?

Should I shut up and ignore her,when she sins?when she backbites? Or can I advise her,at least mildly.But I may end up back in square one.

Please help.

[cureseeker]

I understand from which perspective your coming from. My parents backbite at times too, and I get annoyed by it too, but simply, I just roll my eyes, and continue what im doing. Instead of me expressing my opinion which will NOT be noted by my parents, and Il be thwarted instead, why dont I just stay quiet and hold it in. Hold strong sister, im guessing your a teen like me?
Anyway, this is a test, and you havent failed. Youve passed, your more courageous then me, Im the one who failed. You attempted to correct the wrong, while I just sat and ignored.... For future, if you want to avoid this situation, just ignore it. No point, just let it go. You already know whats gonna happen if you do respond to her, and thats a huge argument and probably a beating, might as well let go and let Allah be the judge.

Inshallah Allah will help.

- Cureseeker (A brother who has nearly lost his faith but is trying to regain it. Inshallah I will)

[writewhite]

every night, when she goes to bed, massage her feet for her for 5 minutes
at least.
Make it a must in your routine
explain the jannah under her feet philosophy and your failure at giving her the due
and ask her to allow you the maasage
it will work very well
about you raising bad children?
Who told you you'll have any?
What ensures you you'll be living tomorrow?
Stay in today and in tashakkur
salaam