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Question About Protecting Your Wife From Your Past


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#1 male

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Posted 19 August 2011 - 12:34 AM

Salam Waleikum brothers & sisters.

I have a quick question... I have had a bad haram past, I have slept with someone before I was married, a white girl, maybe afew. I totally regret it and may Allah forgive me for my sinning.
I just wanted to know, when your married, and your wife asks you, have you slept with someone in the past, is it permissible to lie and say no for her and your protection, because obviously if you said yes, it could break your family apart etc... I heard from other muslim brothers its permissible only in the sense to protect your family to say no you havent, because your past is your past and its between you and Allah, if you ask for true forgiveness from Allah, he forgives you, however, its different when it comes to humans, their forgiveness isnt always accepted????
Anyway I just wanted to know if you can lie like that and say wallah I have not in the sense that it protects your family from destruction.

Jazakallah khairun and Ramadan kareem to you all.

May Allah forgive us all in this ramadan and inshallah the best for all our futures.

Long live Syria and protect it from the kafir dictator.

#2 SaracenSoldier

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Posted 19 August 2011 - 05:35 AM

Assalamualikum

Brother, as for lying I don't know. But revealing your sins is not allowed. You should not reveal your sins to anybody. It is between you and Allah. That does not mean you should lie. Ask a scholar, Imam, a Shaykh at the masjid or something or someone more knowledgeable.

Also, go here: Islam-qa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

Surf through that site maybe you'll find an answer inshAllah. Or you can send your question to the Shaykh on that website inshAllah.

#3 SaracenSoldier

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Posted 19 August 2011 - 05:35 AM

Long live Syria and protect it from the kafir dictator.


Ameen

#4 IWantToKnowMore

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Posted 22 August 2011 - 04:30 AM

You say you have slept with women in the past. Do you know if she has slept with men in the past, and if you do know, are you sure it is the truth? For there is a verse in the Quran that states:

The Qur'an, chapter 24 (An-Noor), verse 3:
“ The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.— translated by M. H. Shakir

But, back on topic, and answering your question. I am not sure on the religious aspect of this, but - for me at least - the moral aspect is clear. A husband and wife should be completely truthful to each other, even if the truth would hurt. Because surely overcoming a hurtful truth would bring you closer?

If I had slept with women in the past, I would tell my wife about it. For I feel she should know. However, I would have told her before I married her.

All the best.

#5 female

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Posted 22 August 2011 - 07:58 PM

A husband and wife should be completely truthful to each other, even if the truth would hurt. Because surely overcoming a hurtful truth would bring you closer?


There are somethings that Allah decides to guard/conceal.It is not right for a servant to tear off the cover his Rabb has made for him.For ex, the sin of a repenting person. If one has TRULY regretted, repented and resolved not to return to a sin,he is clean. Nobody should be brutally honest in everything.There are some ways in conveying where one can be truthful also careful(not to hurt others).

Such a person can very well tell her (best before she asks)" I have sinned a lot .But I have repented and resolved not to go back.Insha Allah,I 'll be helped.But please dont enquire about them."

#6 male

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Posted 22 August 2011 - 11:56 PM

The Qur'an, chapter 24 (An-Noor), verse 3:
“ The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.— translated by M. H. Shakir

This is for those who do not truely repent, if you repent with your heart, Allah forgives you, all your sins will be wiped INSHALLAH.

That surah does not say someone who has fornicated definitely marries a fornicator, it tries to say that if you fornicated, and have not fully repented and asked for true forgiveness, then your marriage with a virgin will not be accepted by Allah, and only a marriage with someone who has already fornicated in the past is accepted. This is for fairness.... For Allah forgives all sinners who repent