19 replies to this topic

[chelsea89]

Please just make Dua for me, I need Allah swt right now.

[dot]

Assalamo alaikum

Dear sister, please read my reply here:
(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/topic/738115-what-makes-someone-a-born-muslim-or-revert/page__view__findpost__p__1254778"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher.c...ost__p__1254778[/url]

Once a wife reverts, she cannot keep her marriage unless her non-Muslim hubby reverts too. Keeping such marriage is unlawful in Islam. Any intimate contact with him would be considered zina (fornication).

[Mercyonmankind]

May Allah swt help you sister and find you a way out of this, ameen..

[SaracenSoldier]

Ameen. Keep strong sister. May Allah aid you.

[EasternQibla]

Make God grant you his peace in this difficult time.

[ParadiseLost]

May Allah guide you - I will keep you and your children in my prayers - keep strong for them.

[chelsea89]

Dot I know this it just doesn't make it any easier to figure out the semantics of how to raise three kids with no job, no family, and no help. All I have to go on is $9,000 and Alhumdillilah I have that and it gives me about 3-4 months to get everything together and times are difficult here now. And I think you've seen my posts on my tumultuous upbringing and how I really have no family to speak of that could or would help me out in a time like this. I'm not even really heartbroken about the marriage, I'm just worried for my kids and I don't want them to be affected traumatically by this, having your parents break up is never easy on the children.

[AHMAD_73]

May Allah find you the best solution, and make after hardships easiness, Amen
keep strong, and trust Allah

[dot]

Dear sister,
He should pay child support for your kids. In the mean time, be strong for them, try to find a job, even if you have to move elsewhere. Your salary, plus child support, should secure your financial situation insha'Allah.
I'll remember you in my prayers.

[Younes]

As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

Your situation sounds extremely horrible, really, consider that three very young kids are involved. I honestly don't know what to say to console you. I would advise you to get in contact with a Muslim community in the US. You said that you had made contact with one previously. Start with them. I think you should also look for a Muslim spouse who can support you and look for a job.

Lastly I want to quote something from the Qur'an and the words of the Prophet (pbuh):

(Surah 2) (155. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient).) (156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.'') (157. They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e., who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.)

أفضل العبادة انتظار الفرج

The Prophet (pbuh) said:

The best act of worship performed among the people of my nation is awaiting God's relief and deliverance [Tirmithi]

May God give you and your family relief.

[Younes]

As-salamu alaikum

You should contact scholarly institutes in the US such as the following:

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(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetzaytunacollege(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/contact/"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetzaytunacollege(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/contact/[/url]

See if they have got any ideas. You should ask them if they know any communities or marriage programmmes or if they have jobs avalaible or anything.

May God make it easy for you and your kids.

[AHMAD_73]

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله
there are some Dua reported about the prophet (pbuh), in diffecult times;

" O Allah there is no easy (thing) but what you made easy, and you, almighty, can make the hardships if you welled easiness"

[size=5]"اللهم لا سهل إلا ما جعلته سهلاً، و أنت تجعل الحزن إذا شئت سهلاً "[using large font size is not allowed]

[size=5]"O Allah we make you in their nikes, and refugee to you from their plots"[using large font size is not allowed]

[size=5]" اللهم إنا نجعلك فى نحورهم و نعوذ بك من شرورهم"[using large font size is not allowed]

[size=5]may Allah be with you,[using large font size is not allowed]

[chelsea89]

Is there a special divorce process for this situation or should I just handle it legally through the courts as purely a legal matter?

[Osman93]

I don't think there is any specific way that is required, just go via the easiest route.
Don't you get half his money? and doesn't he pay child support?

Allah will provide for you, do not lose hope in him.

[concordia]

good luck with your chosen path

[chelsea89]

I don't think there is any specific way that is required, just go via the easiest route.
Don't you get half his money? and doesn't he pay child support?

Allah will provide for you, do not lose hope in him.

Lol If he had anything! We don't own a house and have the $9,0000 in savings but that's already virtually gone with the move coming up. It's a years worth of rent and travel expenses. And child support in the US is a complete joke. $100 per child per month and with three kids it's at least $700 in rent but more than likely more, plus utilities, and ifI work childcare at $150-$200 a week per child. So that would be a mute point as I'd only make $1400 a month max. But Alhumdililah Allah swt will find a way for me, it's easy for Him . And eventually He will provide me with an able and practicing spouse.

[ParadiseLost]

$100 per month! That's disgraceful. Isn't it means tested? How do they expect you to live on that much money its really a joke. Does the US government give any financial support for lone parents/single mothers..and perhaps there are schemes to help you with paying for childcare I know there are in Ireland but I don't know too much about the welfare system in US.

[ala'adin]

Asalaamu Alaykum,

I pray that Allah keeps you strong I wanted to share with you a quote from shaykh Ibn Qayyim on the topic of trusting in Allah.

"The condition of the one who relies on Allah is like the condition of the one who is given a dirham by a King, then it gets stolen from him; so the King says to him: “I have many times as much as that, so don’t worry. When you come to me, I will give you from my treasures much more than that.” Thus if (this person) knows the truthfulness of the king’s statement, and trusts him, and knows that his treasures are full of that, then what he missed will not make him sad.’"

You and your children will be in my Dua,

Wasalaam

[chelsea89]

They don't give you more than 40 or 50% of his monthly income but they do max it out at he has to pay $100 a month per child. I'd get $300 because there are three kids but most women never even see that. My friend has a 5 year old who has received less than $1000 her whole life from her dad and although he's supposed to be in jail for not paying they keep holding it off and he's trying to get welfare right now because he's "retarded" yet has three kids no job. And they will only help with childcare if you already have a job and it takes a few months or so to get the payments in. So say I find a job and I start in a week I can apply for the childcare assistance but am SOL for the first month or two as far as childcare goes. It's crazy here.

[Younes]

Is there a special divorce process for this situation or should I just handle it legally through the courts as purely a legal matter?

There is no special divorce situation for this situation from an Islamic perspective. Islamically speaking you are already considered divorced due to the fact that a Muslim woman cannot be married to a non-Muslim man. So, the only thing to do is to handle it legally through the US courts.

May God provide you with ease.