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#1 Elaine

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 05:21 AM

It seems, contrary to all the excitement at the Masjid, I'm the only one not happy as the result of my conversion. I was just nervous. And now, increasingly stressed. I want to get things right, like prayer, but I don't think I'm doing so well. I have the ability to learn faster. But I'm not sure it would help from how much I've been stressed at my current level of trying. With all these negative feelings I've been feeling kinda hostile to religion, which I guess isn't surprising as it's happened before, just not as a Muslim. It's not condusive to prayers, of course, making me more stressed.
I also fret over how people think of me at the Masjid. Which I don't think is bad. But I don't think they'd like my opinions. It's silly I guess. Preemptive stress.
So many rules! I don't think it'd be so bad if I knew them well; instinctively. But that not being the case, it's a lot for my conscious mind to hold at once. I'm not so good making myself only implement a bit at a time, I suppose.
Surely someone else has dealt with this?

#2 chelsea89

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 06:12 AM

I reverted November 19th of this year and I can totally relate! I'm not the just take it one step at a time type of person and delve into mich more than I should right off the bat. I would say focus on the prayer because it will make you feel closer to Allah swt which is, after all, the point of the deen. Forget everything else for a while and learn wudu, guhsl, and the Salah, then implement things like Quran recitation, memorization, and learning the fence rules.
And from a comparative religion standpoint this is one of the more easily outlined religions ( not that any are true other than this one) but from a purely comparative standpoint. Christianity has a statement of faith but really no structure to go on after this point and is all spirituality with little guidance. If someone were to convert to Judaism it takes years of study for the simple reason of they have 613 laws with who knows how many more fence laws pinned into it! Islam in the simplest form are the 5 pillars and everything else is secondary at this point. Worry about the fence laws later and try practicing in the simpler form for now. :) Salaam sister

#3 Elaine

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 01:30 PM

And salaam to you, Chelsea! Thank you :) I've heard support from friends and family on this, but it's nice to hear from a Muslim. How are you doing now after it's been some months since your conversion?

#4 ParadiseLost

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 01:58 PM

It seems, contrary to all the excitement at the Masjid, I'm the only one not happy as the result of my conversion. I was just nervous. And now, increasingly stressed.

As Salaam Alaikum
I became a Muslim about 2 years ago so I can also understand how frustrating it is to learn things especially prayer. It feels like everyone else who is a Muslim all their life is like well you have to do this and you have to do this etc but if they only knew how easy they have had it growing up learning this stuff! There were a few times where I just felt so overwhelmed with everything and cried because I felt like I wasn't a good Muslim because I still didn't know how to pray after so long and it was one of the essential parts of Islam.
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya (This term "Haya" covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; amongst them are self respect, modesty, bashfulness, and scruple, etc.) is a part of faith." (Sahih Bukhari Book 2, Hadith 8)

You know I like this hadith because I feel it is a good analogy for recent reverts. if we think of a tree with faith being the trunk and all them branches being part of faith it will really help us as new Muslims. Is a baby tree like an adult tree? Does a baby tree have as many branches as an adult tree? As new muslims we are like the baby tree branching out as we learn more about Islam. We can't go from being a baby tree to an adult tree in the matter of 1 day or 1 month etc. Patience is an essential part of Islam and until we realise that we need to be patient with faith we are going to stress ourselves out more. The most important thing is that we should have an aim to become like the adult tree but understand that it will take time and we shouldn't feel overwhelmed. And it is so important to remember that Muhammad pbuh received the quran over a number of years because transition to faith is a journey that takes time. Had the prophet pbuh received the quran in one day you could imagine how overwhelmed people would have been.

A good exercise is to get a piece of paper, draw a tree with many branches and label each branch with things you are learning to be part of faith such as, patience, prayer, modesty, kindness etc. Keep adding more as you learn more about Islam and you will see it grow. This helped me when I was stressed so I hope it helps you ...also lets think of the branches in isolation and take prayer as an example. A branch will begin to grow leaves. So we know that prayer is a part of faith but in order to get them leaves to grow we have to practice prayer. And believe me when you do learn how to pray you will look back and laugh at how you thought it was so hard because once you start practicing you wonder why you were confused in the first place lol. I advise you to use youtube videos to help you learn how to pray or otherwise if you are in contact with women who are Muslims they should be more than willing to teach you - but do not expect to learn it all in one day - it takes time....patience patience
O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly! Allah is with As-Sabirun (the patient). (2:153)

Edited by Lost_In_Paradise, 21 February 2012 - 02:02 PM.


#5 Elaine

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 05:35 AM

I still find myself so ridiculously worried about what people think about me. This is just silly. I want to fit in to a Muslim community. To have people to relate to on religion. I can't get Muslim friends if I'm always afraid.
I'd like to write out my opinions of things. I'd be very appreciative for anyone to read them; I think it would help. I know I'm still new at Islam, so I expect my thoughts may change on some things. So even if people don't agree with me, which I expect, I'm still grateful for anyone who will respond c:
I've been suspicious of hadith since I've been learning about Islam. I'm not so sure how authentic many of them are, though surely there are many hadith that are at least good approximations of what Muhammad said and did. I think Muhammad's words were more meant for the community of his time, in contrast to the eternal message of the Quran. I think he's a good example, but still fallible. I'm not sure why I should go to his words for guidance in my life when I have the words of the eternal god.
There are reasons for my opinions, but, as my purpose here is more to find out how people generally feel about these kind of opinions, I'll save that explaining for another time, unless someone states they do want to hear.
Thank you to anyone who reads. I also wouldn't mind if you do want to convince me otherwise. I do know I still have lots to learn.

#6 ParadiseLost

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 10:12 AM

Sister learning about the science of the hadith is probably a bit much for a new Muslim but if you want to there are lots of online resources. Of course there are hadith that are more authentic than others. The hadith is definitely not just for Prophet Muhammad's pbuh community. The quran tells us to follow Muhammad. If we didn't have the hadith how would we pray? How would we know about zakat? The hadith tell us a great deal about the character of Muhammad pbuh - without knowing who he was, how he behaved towards others etc who would be our example to follow? The hadith allow us insight into the life of Muhammad so that we know him in order that we may follow his example. Also when we have the hadith to look to we understand the context of verses in the quran.
Useful links: http://www.islamic-a...rg/Hadith/Ulum/
http://muttaqun.com/...ceofhadith.html
http://islam.thetrue...article&sid=247

#7 Absolute truth

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 11:11 AM

Assalam alaikum

Prophet Posted Image said
Surely the Deen/religion is easy, and none will be excessive in the Deen except that it will overcome him. So do the right thing, do the best you can, and rejoice. ( al- Bukharee )

The Qur'an says (interpretation of the meaning): "He (Allah) has not laid upon you in religion any hardship." (Qur'an 22: 78)

#8 Nile_Salafy

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 10:51 AM

Salam alikum

Both Chelsea and Lost in Paradise said it all I am sure :) .. I don't expect much from you more than trying to learn the 5 daily prayers for now :) maybe these are not very supportive words that you wanted to hear. But I am sure converting is a huge step by it self taking that you live in the west.

Insha allah you will do all good :)

#9 Perseveranze

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:02 PM

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Sister, you need to take things easy. I'm sure if you read about the stories of the companians of the Prophet(pbuh) and the life they lived before comming to Islam, you'd have alot to admire, especially on how much they were able to adapt and change, without any rush or difficulty.

As for hadith, as someone above said, you shouldn't get into that right now. Hadith science is nothing simple, you need to;

- Know the authenticity of the chain
- Know the context
- Know how the companians of the Prophet(pbuh) understood the hadith
- Know how it relates to the Qur'an

and so much else. Nothing that laymen should make judgements on, especially those that copy and paste an "english translation".

I remember a Nourman Ali Khan lecture and he said that, there are scholars out there who spent 1/3 of their life learning Classical Arabic, and 2/3's learning Hadith. They then regretted and said; "If only I spent 2/3's learning Classical Arabic, maybe then I would have a deeper understanding of the meaning of hadiths".

#10 chelsea89

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 12:53 AM

Eh I've had some bumps in the road but Alhumdillilah I'm doing well. :)

#11 TJB

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 05:39 PM

Assalam alaikum

Prophet Posted Image said
Surely the Deen/religion is easy, and none will be excessive in the Deen except that it will overcome him. So do the right thing, do the best you can, and rejoice. ( al- Bukharee )

The Qur'an says (interpretation of the meaning): "He (Allah) has not laid upon you in religion any hardship." (Qur'an 22: 78)


MashaAllah bro, now thats a statement i can agree with, put simply, it is not religion that overburdens us its us expecting too much of ourselves, rejoice in the fact that you are amongst the 'chosen', those God has chosen to give the truth too and pull towards his heart, the rest will come slowly, small chunks, slow down your carriage so you can see the beauty around you and take everything in, when we rush we miss soooo much... x0x

#12 TJB

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 05:43 PM

It seems, contrary to all the excitement at the Masjid, I'm the only one not happy as the result of my conversion. I was just nervous. And now, increasingly stressed. I want to get things right, like prayer, but I don't think I'm doing so well. I have the ability to learn faster. But I'm not sure it would help from how much I've been stressed at my current level of trying. With all these negative feelings I've been feeling kinda hostile to religion, which I guess isn't surprising as it's happened before, just not as a Muslim. It's not condusive to prayers, of course, making me more stressed.
I also fret over how people think of me at the Masjid. Which I don't think is bad. But I don't think they'd like my opinions. It's silly I guess. Preemptive stress.
So many rules! I don't think it'd be so bad if I knew them well; instinctively. But that not being the case, it's a lot for my conscious mind to hold at once. I'm not so good making myself only implement a bit at a time, I suppose.
Surely someone else has dealt with this?


Sis Elaine, i was going to send you a private inbox message but it says you cant recieve them so here goes:-
I just came across your forum post, im not a revert but if you ever want to chat please inbox me, we are here to be pillars for one another, please dont over stress yourself with what you think others are thinking of you, dont you know all that matters is what HE thinks of you, and HE must love you very much to have set His sights on you to bring you back to Him...so be kind to yourself! xxx