The Redneck Revert (Learning Iman...)
Posted 30 May 2012 - 03:18 AM
Mostly they were things that some Muslims, online, were trying to use to convince others of the truth of Islam. I knew quite a bit of it already but wanted to read up on it and get an idea of where this was going. After about five minutes I went to go check on the water, it was boiling. So, I added the noodles and checked the time so I could go back and get my food. Coming back to the room I began to read some more.
With my food by me, mixed with some ranch dressing, I played the DVD a few minutes more but found myself eventually putting it on pause while I continued to read. As I continued to read I came across some Bible verses they were using. One of the biggest things that would irritate me about Islamic apologetics was the use of Bible verses as they would pick this verse or that but then say well the Bible is corrupted. It is just insufferable.
But, this site was not doing that. Instead it was inviting the reader to read the verses for themselves and then suggesting paying attention to particular wording. I did this with little shock or surprise at my findings. I even read the verses in full context. Then some hours into reading something surprising did occur to me as I was reading over the explanation of the ‘comforter’ or paraclyte.
After breaking down the word and even explaining the meaning of the name of the prophet and even talking about another Greek word which is very similar in spelling it went over the Bible verse where Jesus (pbuh) spoke about how there is more he wants to tell the disciples must that it must wait until later and that the ‘comforter’ would explain this to them. This did not surprise me. Long ago I had reached the conclusion that many so called Biblical scholars were mistaken and that the ‘comforter’ in question was not the holy spirit but rather Paul. But, then it said something else which shook me to my core.
It said that the holy spirit never revealed anything that Jesus (pbuh) did not already teach while he was here. I couldn’t deny this. It was a fact. But, contrary to what it asked on the page I didn’t just think of the holy spirit I also thought of Paul and for the most part Paul never really taught anything that Jesus did not teach. This was beyond shocking.
For if what this was saying was true, and it is beyond a reasonable doubt, then Muhammad (pbuh) had to be a prophet and the final messenger of God. So, shortly after reading that I went to the kitchen; I was reeling from what I had just seen. It was like I had just been punched in the face by Mike Tyson or something. After putting up my dishes I came back to the room. I knew what it was that I had to do. There was simply no way around it.
With only myself and Allah (swt) as witnesses I made shahada. Truthfully I view it as my first shahada because I have no doubt, no wondering, and no hesitation anymore. Everything that I read and was asked to read fit. There was nowhere left to turn. I either had to admit that Muhammad (pbuh) was the messenger of God or I had to say that Christianity is wrong and Islam is wrong and just run solo.
I couldn’t do that because I thoroughly believe that no God worth worshipping would just create something and leave it, like the Deists believe. So, on the twenty seventh of May twenty twelve I truly entered Islam, at around two in the morning, and I knew what iman was at last. It is more than a belief. It is a conviction.
A few minutes after I realized I needed to make ghyrul so I did and then I shaved off my mustache. Honestly, it is nice to finally feel that conviction like I used to feel about Christianity. In a way I think it all led to this point. It was like I was a spiritual baby and was beginning to grow until Allah felt I was ready to truly be in Islam. I realize now looking back that I was not ready before.
Sure, I took shahada before but it was just words. There was no conviction behind it. In fact, every time I said it there were lingering doubts in my mind, hesitations. I was constantly struggling with whether or not Jesus (pbuh) was crucified. Now I realize the truth. He could not have been crucified. The BIBLE says it! Either God is a liar or Jesus was not crucified. In fact according to THE BIBLE it is in fact highly unlikely that Jesus was even beaten. And this makes sense because it was dark in the garden that night; it would have been easy to mistake him for someone else. Back then there were no street lights; dark was dark and light was light. There was no dim. Then I discovered the Bible even said that Jesus (pbuh) would be taken up to God and that he would never know harm but would witness the crucifixion. Perhaps most disturbing though was when I discovered that Christianity was not even the first religion to use the concept of trinity, resurrection, or even a suffering savior.
I discovered the first religion to use the concept of trinity was in fact Hindu and that the idea of a suffering savior was actually in fact extremely popular and had been since the ancient Egyptians. Not only that but the notion of the cross was even used back then! It was all very shocking to the spiritual system but I felt like crying when I read that simple statement that the ‘comforter’ never brought any revelation that had not been given by Jesus(pbuh) already. I will never leave Islam again, & fall into that void wasteland of nothingness.
Posted 01 June 2012 - 03:19 AM
Posted 01 June 2012 - 04:09 AM
Edited by abdullahfath, 01 June 2012 - 04:10 AM.