and reasons for my reversion, I'm sure it would take quite a while and could fill up at least a few
chapters of a book. Since I am a writer, don't test me because I can guarantee I could do it. But I'll try
to keep this to relevant points really.
Let me preface this with the fact that until I was 18, I had never been involved in any religion and
never had even attended church services or anything else. I knew that there was a God, yes just one,
but I didn't know anything else. My mother is a staunch Southern Baptist while my father is much
more an atheist or agnostic in his beliefs. When I finally did start going to church, it was to a
Southern Baptist church near my family's home just after my high school graduation. So I was
following in my mother's path basically.
At that time, since I was so new and was being told not to question what the pastor taught by
everyone, I just blindly went along with what I was told. At this time, my only thoughts about Islam
were generally thoughts about terrorists in the Middle East, because that's what everyone said. I had
never actually met a Muslim before. And then September 11th happened. I am somewhat ashamed to
admit that at that time I let myself be led by the prevailing sentiment about Islam and was very
judgemental about it.
Again that changed a few months later when I started working at a Starbucks nearby. During my
training, one of my trainers was a Muslim girl, wearing hijab and just always pleasant to people. Even
those who were grossly disgusting to her. I guess in a way I filed that information away in my brain
and it started to replace what I had felt about Islam.
I'm going to fast forward from there to just a few months ago. Despite my growing concerns about
my beliefs, I was a ministry team leader in my former church, specifically for the Audio/Video
ministry. Being a ministry team leader, I got to see the darker side of things in church: the politics, the
backstabbing and the hatred prevalent throughout the church itself. Because of my outspokenness
about hypocrites within the church, that darker side turned against me and started pushing for my
removal from the church in addition to stripping me of my position for reasons about my
questioning them, my own personal issues and the fact I was friends with "undesirables" aka non-
Christians.
Meanwhile, I had become friends with a German girl, Sara, online a little over a year ago. She had
told me she was Muslim but I didn't think much of it because she was just simply a friend. Earlier this
year, my Sunday school class at church did a segment on comparative religions, and Islam was the
last segment discussed. This was from Christian scholar Paul Carden, and while the segment was
playing, I kept thinking about the things he was saying...even though he was approaching it from a
standpoint of how to convert Muslims to Christianity. Needless to say, it doesn't seem to have
worked in my case.
Around the time that the church was getting their case against me together, I started spending more
and more time talking to Sara and learning about Islam. Then I got pointed to these forums where I
was able to learn as well. The highlights of my day were actually reading the Qur'an aloud with her
and soaking in the things it said. She was also there as a support whenever I would tend to get upset
about what my former church was doing. In addition, I was starting to come out of my shell enough
to get involved here on these forums in some discussions, whether they were good or bad, I was
trying to insure I was fair in any appraisals I made.
While I talked with Sara, she had initially brought up the idea of fasting, as she told me about her
conversion five years previously. For whatever reason, I had agreed with her that I wanted to try
and fast during Ramadan, despite not being Muslim. From there, we discussed fasting before
Ramadan as well, something I also have discussed with a couple people here, and so a couple weeks
ago I fasted for the first time in my life. While it was hard, I felt great doing it and felt more sure in
my heart that I was on the right path. Also, her and I (despite being separated by thousands of miles)
have been fasting together most of this week.
I also reconnected with one of my former coworkers from Starbucks in the last couple weeks,
ironically at a political meeting for Ron Paul here. To say I was shocked to see her wearing hijab
would have been an understatement as she had always sought to convert Kelly (the Muslim girl I
mentioned earlier) to Christianity when we worked at Starbucks. She told me some of her story and I
felt sure that like Sara, Allah had placed her in my path to show me that I was finally moving in the
right direction. We've stayed in contact some too, and as I mentioned on another thread, she had
invited me to her masjid which is to happen this Friday. Needless to say, I was planning on going,
though I wasn't planning on going as someone who had already reverted.
That brings me to yesterday. In my talks with Sara, she had mentioned to me before that her sister-
in-law, who was herself a convert to Islam, would be honored if she could be there when I said my
Shahada which I planned to do with Sara since she had done so much to bring me to Islam in the
first place. I had agreed, and so I knew I would have to let them know ahead of time to actually set
that up. Then when her sister-in-law was over yesterday, despite everything else, I felt something
telling me to do it then. And so under their guidance, I said the Shahada and took a shower. I
remember being scared I was going to mess up because I was trembling while my heart was
pounding a thousand miles a minute it seemed and I had goosebumps all over my skin.
I couldn't stop smiling most of the night last night, even eliciting a comment from my mother who
asked why I was so happy. On another note, just to add something else of interest...my mother is
fasting for the first time in her life as well right now. While she doesn't condone Islam in any way as
of now, she is disgusted by how my former church treated me and is looking for a change, so only
Allah knows what will happen. But maybe in the future she'd decide to accept the truth. But for now,
I can't show that side of me to her yet very easily, but I know and Allah knows what I feel.
Thank you for letting me say this and I apologize if it is so long.
