I Said The Shahada (Well Yesterday)
Posted 14 June 2012 - 12:39 PM
and reasons for my reversion, I'm sure it would take quite a while and could fill up at least a few
chapters of a book. Since I am a writer, don't test me because I can guarantee I could do it. But I'll try
to keep this to relevant points really.
Let me preface this with the fact that until I was 18, I had never been involved in any religion and
never had even attended church services or anything else. I knew that there was a God, yes just one,
but I didn't know anything else. My mother is a staunch Southern Baptist while my father is much
more an atheist or agnostic in his beliefs. When I finally did start going to church, it was to a
Southern Baptist church near my family's home just after my high school graduation. So I was
following in my mother's path basically.
At that time, since I was so new and was being told not to question what the pastor taught by
everyone, I just blindly went along with what I was told. At this time, my only thoughts about Islam
were generally thoughts about terrorists in the Middle East, because that's what everyone said. I had
never actually met a Muslim before. And then September 11th happened. I am somewhat ashamed to
admit that at that time I let myself be led by the prevailing sentiment about Islam and was very
judgemental about it.
Again that changed a few months later when I started working at a Starbucks nearby. During my
training, one of my trainers was a Muslim girl, wearing hijab and just always pleasant to people. Even
those who were grossly disgusting to her. I guess in a way I filed that information away in my brain
and it started to replace what I had felt about Islam.
I'm going to fast forward from there to just a few months ago. Despite my growing concerns about
my beliefs, I was a ministry team leader in my former church, specifically for the Audio/Video
ministry. Being a ministry team leader, I got to see the darker side of things in church: the politics, the
backstabbing and the hatred prevalent throughout the church itself. Because of my outspokenness
about hypocrites within the church, that darker side turned against me and started pushing for my
removal from the church in addition to stripping me of my position for reasons about my
questioning them, my own personal issues and the fact I was friends with "undesirables" aka non-
Meanwhile, I had become friends with a German girl, Sara, online a little over a year ago. She had
told me she was Muslim but I didn't think much of it because she was just simply a friend. Earlier this
year, my Sunday school class at church did a segment on comparative religions, and Islam was the
last segment discussed. This was from Christian scholar Paul Carden, and while the segment was
playing, I kept thinking about the things he was saying...even though he was approaching it from a
standpoint of how to convert Muslims to Christianity. Needless to say, it doesn't seem to have
worked in my case.
Around the time that the church was getting their case against me together, I started spending more
and more time talking to Sara and learning about Islam. Then I got pointed to these forums where I
was able to learn as well. The highlights of my day were actually reading the Qur'an aloud with her
and soaking in the things it said. She was also there as a support whenever I would tend to get upset
about what my former church was doing. In addition, I was starting to come out of my shell enough
to get involved here on these forums in some discussions, whether they were good or bad, I was
trying to insure I was fair in any appraisals I made.
While I talked with Sara, she had initially brought up the idea of fasting, as she told me about her
conversion five years previously. For whatever reason, I had agreed with her that I wanted to try
and fast during Ramadan, despite not being Muslim. From there, we discussed fasting before
Ramadan as well, something I also have discussed with a couple people here, and so a couple weeks
ago I fasted for the first time in my life. While it was hard, I felt great doing it and felt more sure in
my heart that I was on the right path. Also, her and I (despite being separated by thousands of miles)
have been fasting together most of this week.
I also reconnected with one of my former coworkers from Starbucks in the last couple weeks,
ironically at a political meeting for Ron Paul here. To say I was shocked to see her wearing hijab
would have been an understatement as she had always sought to convert Kelly (the Muslim girl I
mentioned earlier) to Christianity when we worked at Starbucks. She told me some of her story and I
felt sure that like Sara, Allah had placed her in my path to show me that I was finally moving in the
right direction. We've stayed in contact some too, and as I mentioned on another thread, she had
invited me to her masjid which is to happen this Friday. Needless to say, I was planning on going,
though I wasn't planning on going as someone who had already reverted.
That brings me to yesterday. In my talks with Sara, she had mentioned to me before that her sister-
in-law, who was herself a convert to Islam, would be honored if she could be there when I said my
Shahada which I planned to do with Sara since she had done so much to bring me to Islam in the
first place. I had agreed, and so I knew I would have to let them know ahead of time to actually set
that up. Then when her sister-in-law was over yesterday, despite everything else, I felt something
telling me to do it then. And so under their guidance, I said the Shahada and took a shower. I
remember being scared I was going to mess up because I was trembling while my heart was
pounding a thousand miles a minute it seemed and I had goosebumps all over my skin.
I couldn't stop smiling most of the night last night, even eliciting a comment from my mother who
asked why I was so happy. On another note, just to add something else of interest...my mother is
fasting for the first time in her life as well right now. While she doesn't condone Islam in any way as
of now, she is disgusted by how my former church treated me and is looking for a change, so only
Allah knows what will happen. But maybe in the future she'd decide to accept the truth. But for now,
I can't show that side of me to her yet very easily, but I know and Allah knows what I feel.
Thank you for letting me say this and I apologize if it is so long.
Posted 14 June 2012 - 12:46 PM
Posted 14 June 2012 - 01:26 PM
Posted 14 June 2012 - 01:29 PM
Posted 14 June 2012 - 02:22 PM
Allah says in Surat [Al Ankaboot (29):2-3]
(Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.)
Posted 14 June 2012 - 03:21 PM
may Allah complete his favor up on you, support you on his path, and provide you with the real happiness and contentment in this very life and the eternal life.
First I have to congratulate you. you are sinless, now, All of your old sins had been forgiven and wiped out. You have a new and clear white sheets. Plz, try to keep it as it is.
Second, if you felt sorrow about the time you spent away from Allah, repented and regret for the sins you have done, by Allah's favor all of them will converted to good deeds,
"Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" Quran 025.070
plz, make Doa'a for your Egyptian brothers and sisters. they are in a fatal joint of their history, presidntial election, which will either lead them nearer to Allah or the opposite, Allah forbids
Posted 14 June 2012 - 09:49 PM
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I can give you alternate contact information if you'd like, especially for small questions that you don't think need a thread to themselves (or just support, I'm good at that )
Posted 14 June 2012 - 10:44 PM
Allahu Akbar .. and Al Hamdullilah .. great ending for a long journey I must say
Nah bro! This is just another chapter in the journey. The end is in Paradise insh'Allah(but I know what you mean ).
Posted 15 June 2012 - 12:06 AM
Posted 16 June 2012 - 01:10 AM
Allahu Akbar. Masha'Allah.
May Allah Al-Mighty keep you in the right path, and grant you happiness in both worlds, and may He open your mother's heart to the beauty of Islam in time.
(Please remember me and all forum members in your prayers. It means so much to us that you do.)
Posted 16 June 2012 - 01:10 PM
One must know that Allah will test him to see if he is a good Muslim or not because He loves him and He will give him more blessings if one pass the tests by endurance and with hope, asking Allah's help and seeking His pleasure.
- take Islam easy, slowly, without rush
One must start with priorities like learning how to make salah and starting to do it then gradually learning more things and practicing them; step by step, one will improve and do what he can to the best of his ability.
May Allah make the path of Islam smooth for all its followers ameen.
Posted 16 June 2012 - 01:51 PM
Posted 01 July 2012 - 05:08 AM
What an interesting story!For sure Allah who soften the hearts of people.
Posted 15 July 2012 - 06:12 PM
Posted 03 August 2012 - 02:58 PM
Am a convert also.
Will post my conversion story after my exams. Insha Allah.
Posted 11 August 2012 - 01:30 AM
If you have problem inshaallah we can help you.
I love new Muslims.
Edited by torkisamira, 11 August 2012 - 01:31 AM.