2 replies to this topic

[male]

Salamu wa alykum first off,

I'm 21 years old and a few years back I've met a beautiful girl, who isn't near my clan or family but nevertheless we are the same nationalities. I love her to death, and it was depressing and hard first because she didn't believe me all that much when i said i loved her. Long story short, over the years we've committed haram but we never had sex. We always made touba to Allah subhanalah and we tried our best. I love her she is a wonderful human being and she loves me a lot as well. Life has been very hard in our path to marriage, her mom didn't like me she made me waste my time and efforts. She met with my mom and said horrible things about me and my mom told me to leave the family alone. I told my future wife about this and she was shocked when she confronted her mom she denied everything. I got in a fight with my future wife (lets call her sumaya) about who is right and who is wrong and whatnot at the end of the day everything worked itself out. I've always had a hard time and immense stress from my father, he doesn't believe that i will marry her and he thinks i should even wait a lot longer. The sad thing is my father is verbally abusive, and i try my best to listen to him and help him out. I'm not an angel but wallahi i'm better than most 21yr olds in the western world. I make dua for my mom and dad and ask Allah to take them to jannah. But brothers and sisters i don't know what to do, i feel sad and i cry. I make touba but i always commit sins. I know im a horrible muslim. Although we have never had sex we get close to it every time. and she becomes sad and i become sad. My brain is melting everyday little by little. All i want in this dunya is to marry her, work at a modest job become the best muslim i can and live my life for Allah and helping others. i'm sad because we were supposed to get married this august 30th our http://nikah.com/par...dbanner=32t6k0e but i don't think it'll be happening. I don't have a penny to my name, school loans are killing me and i know am battling Allah when i take riba but i don't know what to do. my license was recently suspended because i didn't have enough money to pay my tickets. I hate not having money, it makes me cry day and night. I pray for everyone in this forum wallahi and i love how you're the only people in this earth the care about each other. masha Allah its a warm feeling to know that i can tell muslim brothers and sisters about my problem. I made dua to Allah, and i'm not sharing my problems because you all will take care of it, am sharing it so that who ever reads this please make a sincere dua to Allah to help me marry this woman so that i don't commit zina so that i may continue to live a good muslim. jazakalah kayr everyone. May Allah help us all. Ameen.

[Saracen21stC]

In the counselling section, you should not reveal your identity. This section is for maintaining privacy. And may Allah help you to follow Islam properly and make it easy for you. Ameen.

[Younes]

Wa 'alaikumu as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

I am sorry to hear about your situation. My advice would be the following:

Let those who cannot afford to marry keep themselves chaste until God grants them sufficiency out of His bounty. (24:33)

God's Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, said: "O young people! Those among you who can afford to marry should do so, for it will help you to keep your gaze averted and enable you to preserve your chastity. Whoever cannot afford to marry, let him fast; for fasting blunts sexual passion"

I would have to agree with your mother's and father's advice. I think you should leave that girl and her family alone, as your situation in financial terms is not ideal at all. Even if you were well-off, I would avice you to back off if her family does not accept you.

My best advice would be wait until God provides you Rizq out of His Mercy and you become financially established. In the mean time, you should not see her and have any contact with her. Inshaa Allah, you can get married to her later.