Jump to content
Islamic Forum

male

Counceling room only
  • Content count

    481
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

1 Follower

About male

  • Rank
    Male
  1. Should I Reveal My Past Life?

    JazakAllah khayr for all your advice. Lets say hypothetically, my past would never be revealed, as I have completely moved countries, changed my name and I dont look anything like I used to. Im pretty much a new person. Also no criminal record so no worries there. I just dont feel the need to tell anyone my past as it haunts me enough as it is. Believe my I make istighfar on a daily basis for these sins I have committed. I know people will definitely think differently of me if I were to reveal my past. I also dont want one day in the future for it to be used against me. If you know what I mean. Eg an arguement erupts and my past being used against me ... Im not sure about this issue, I really dont know what to do. I just want to erase that past and be a different new born person.
  2. Salam waleikum, I have had a pretty bad past, drinking, girls, drugs, gangs etc. Alhamdullilah now for 3 years I have been clean, I'm currently looking to get married and am wondering, if my future wife ever asks me, for example, if I have ever been with a girl before, should I answer truthfully? Or should I hide it?? I heard somewhere that you can lie in circumstances like these in order to keep your relationship? And also the fact that, if you have repented, keep your past sins between you and Allah? And if you reveal your previous sins to anyone, that person will become a witness to your sins in yawm al qiyama. What do I do? Obviously I regret every second of my young teen life. Alhamdullilah now Im in my mid 20's, away from haram, trying to stay straight, following the sunnah as much as I can, praying 5 times a day on time, reading Quran, trying to memorize Quran. Any advice would be much appreciated JazakAllah khayr,
  3. Ocd And A Girl I Met

    Would you still think it may be bad to talk to her considering my OCD, even if my current symptoms are not related to her?
  4. Ocd And A Girl I Met

    err, I don't know why the rest didn't show in the thread, but I'll continue here: I have never been officially diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), but I know my symptoms are definitely OCD since I’ve had them since I was like 14, now I’m 21. Long story short, I met a girl in an online chat room 5 months ago. First two months or so were going good. But my OCD (which was occasional and wasn’t something that happens every single day) started to become more frequent to the point I have it everyday now for the past 2 months in severity. I like this girl and haven’t revealed to her my feelings--she is a non-Muslim and has a 50/50 view on God (when I first asked her about it). The reason why I like her is because she is nice to me, gives me attention, and likes talking to me. So this severe 2-month period of OCD that I’m going through started with irrational doubts about her and me doing rituals of using logic in trying to prove such doubts wrong--over and over again until I’m satisfied. Now it has progressed to other topics like over-cleaning in the bathroom after using it so najas doesn’t “spread”, fearing virtually everything is Shirk, doubting myself and people, etc. to the point I become depressed, anxious, and mentally exhausted, and have lost hours of sleep in my normal sleeping hours. I know that Islam doesn’t approve of men talking to non-Mahram women, but I have grown attached to her in a way and fear loneliness if I stop talking to her. I thought of the idea of her becoming Muslim and marrying her. But so far I only gave her insight about the existence of God, which she said she found interesting. And I don’t exactly wanna marry right now, because of fear of financial instability, my mental troubles, and cluelessness of where I’d give her a place to live as I still live with my family. I have also feared that Allah may not accept my prayers because of me talking to this girl. And that he still might not accept even if I stop talking to her because I do other small sins like listening to music, and watching some movies and anime (dunno if the last two are necessarily sins). Reasons for fearing this: -Hadith where it says those who commit a sin after prayer, his prayer is useless. (if I remember correctly) -A brother telling me “how can we expect Allah to accept our prayers when we are constantly disobeying him?” when I asked him to pray for me after mentioning my situation with the girl. -Another person (an Imam) mentioning along the same lines as above, perhaps without the word “constantly”. I’m thinking of going to a Psychiatrist soon about my OCD problem. But what is your advice concerning me and the girl talking to each other? Feel free to leave any additional advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this super long post and may Allah reward you for your efforts in responding. MasSalaama dear brother/sister.
  5. Ocd And A Girl I Met

    Salaam, First, I'd like to apologize for such a LONG post, tried to keep it short, but...lol. Hope you’re doing well.
  6. I am single however in near future I am going to marry INSHALLAH. I had great relationship with my father and love him alot. He passed away a couple of years ago. May Allah bless him with HIS unending mercy and also rest of the muslim brothers and sisters.
  7. Assalam-o-alaikum! Before, I ask the question, I would like to give the big picture of situation. There is an old age person who hasn't taught me in school or college, but I have learnt alot from his life, his words, his conversation, who followed the Sunnah very well and being regular in his prayers. I call him my teacher. I know him for last 7 years. We meet regularly in masjid. With time going on, the affection and respect grew in my heart for him. The point is that for last couple of years, whatever work I am doing, he keeps coming in my thoughts, wishing to be in his company, to listen his words of wisdom. This feelings is like a 24/7. My question is, is it right in Islam to remember another brother in Islam this much. is it love, friendship?
  8. My girlfriend and I have been "dating," so to say, for over 6 months now. She lives in New Hampshire and I live in Indiana which a good amount of distance, so I'm quite sure that there won't be any actual contact until our parents approve of it. Her mother continuously yells at her that it is unacceptable in the Islamic faith to have any form of contact with a guy. I've done a little bit of research and everywhere I look, I see that it's only not acceptable for a guy and a girl to be together alone in an area where sexual contact is possible. We both have already agreed that, if this relationship were to continue and we were able to actually somehow be together, we would wait until marriage for anything of the sort. I personally don't see any wrongdoing if there is no possibility of any sexual encounter. Truthfully, I don't even see how the relationship could go anywhere past best friends who just say "I love you" and "I miss you" over and over again. Perhaps I'm wrong, but that's why I'm asking the world :) Her mother has tried several times to cut the contact but we couldn't even go 24 hours without talking to each other. My mother on the other hand, says that she's okay with the bond that's grown between my girl and I, but she doesn't approve the hiding and lying of my girl to her mother. I understand that though, how lying and hiding are basically the same and how lying is not permitted in the faith. I was hoping that, if I could get enough research and information, I could convince my girlfriend to show her mother that it is, in fact, okay that we talk almost 24/7 as long as there's no actual contact without someone to keep an eye on us. So any and all help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you very much! :)
  9. Dealing With Friends

    So I have told my friends about my conversion, and while they are fine with it, one friend calls me a "towley" and continues to make jokes. I know he is not serious, but it bothers me and I don't know how to approach the subject.
  10. Scared And Afraid

    When I say I haven't learned to pray properly I do not mean "I don't feel ready." I want to start learning and praying for Him to guide me. I don't have any Muslim friends that I can talk to and I need some help. :/ But I am grateful for your answers. :)
  11. Scared And Afraid

    So I wish to convert to Islam. I read the Qur'an every day since I downloaded it onto my computer, wish to start praying and observing Muslim life. But I am scared of my family. I was born into a Christian family and am the son of a pastor. My grandma has told me that Islam is disgusting, that its a false copy of Christianity. I was appaled when she said that, despite me having no interest in Islam at the time. I was raied Christian but stopped really beleiving a few years ago and Islam just seems so perfect a religion. My dad would always tell me how proud he is of me, how I'm growing into such a great man. Would all that go away? My mother loves me deeply and is always making sure I am okay since my grandfather died. Would she stop caring? My friends are all Christians. Would they hate me? I am so terrified of this and still do not know how to properly pray. It is terrible.
  12. Assalamu' alaykum, Thank you, Bro, for the answer, but it is hard for me to forgive my parents. After everything that I have done for them, they discarded me like that. It hurt me so much. I have tried to pray to Allah but there is nothing untill now. I am about to run out patience. It is about time untill I can't take it anymore. Other suggestion will help.
  13. Assalamu' alaykum, I will go to the point so not wasting your time. Once, I was my parents' pride. At school, I was one of the smartest students. I graduated with almost perfect scores from elementary untill college. But problem came when in today's recession, even the smartest can't get a job easily. Even if there was a job around, the salary was so low. I couldn't get a job and my parents started to change. They started to be sinister to me. I, the source of their pride, now am the biggest loser in front of them. My father always insults me and my mother doesn't cook for me anymore. They forgot that this child of them was the former source of their pride. It hurt so much that they treat me like this in my hardest time. Family should support at each other, not only in happy times but also in sad times, but my parents think of me like something whose value has been all used up so now they can throw me to the trash can. What should I do? Please give me support, Brothers and Sisters
  14. As-salamu alaykum (السلام عليكم) I am in a relationship with a sister that lives in another county, we have been talking now for almost a year and we have made the decision to get married in June Inshallah ( إن شاء الله‎,). We talk all the time night day even though she is 13hrs ahead of me we try to talk, both by BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) and iMessage, and even Skype. I have met the family and I am well accepted into the family. I have the blessings of the father and we have gone through all of that correctly. My dilemma is that we find ourselves getting close to talking about the future and what we will expect from each other, let me first state that I am almost 10 years older than her, and I have been married before but she has not, she is a very good muslim woman and she had never given away the free sex or anything so she is a virgin. Now to continue we find our selves talking and getting to know each other, I know her and she knows me very well through the grace of technology we are able to do this. I have found myself and she too as well start to have some very intimate conversations about the future and about what we will expect from each other, and it starts to get to the sexual nature sometimes and I guess I want to know is it haram to do so, even though we have made a commitment to be together, we are just in the planing stages and I have things that I have to finish here in America before I can move where she is to live. So I am asking for guidance please as to this matter. Inshallah ( إن شاء الله‎,) I will be moving in June.
  15. Always Failure...

    why am i always failure in life? i cant get a job, i cant get a wife, and i have no friends. my family is sucks and i dont want to associate with them. i am not bad. i finished my college faster than everyone with excellent soft skills but there is no company which want to hire me. it has been 2 years already! other adults around me are working, only me being unemployee. i come from rich and prestigious businessman family. heck,my father doesnt even want to hire me! my mother stops taking care of me. my siblings are avoiding me like plague. i have tried to pray to Allah but there is no answer until now. failure after failure keeps happening like daily routine. everything i try always fail. i have through countless interviews untill my driver know me by name mr. interview but not even once i am success. i tried to make business proposal for my father to finance it but my father rejected it. i try business online but maybe it will take years untill i get a few dollars. i am mentally depressed. coming from rich family with excellent trackrecord in school but become an unemployee? it is so embarassing beyond any comparation. i never been this low in life before. no women will want an unemployee like me.no friends will hang out with me since all of them busy working also i am very introvert.praying also out of question.i think i want to die. if you want to give me sermon then do it before it is too late.
×