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*eli*

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Posts posted by *eli*


  1. :D

     

    I'm a bengali bro. And its not just different skin colour that our parents have against us, its the whole different culture thing, especially with us bengalis, well before our generation anyways. So please don't feel offended that these people are acting so small minded. I was in a similar situation when I married an Indian, he's the same skin colour, same mother tongue, same religion yet my dad was totally against our marriage. He kinda did the same to me as you mentioned about the sister.

     

    It would be really good if you could speak to them and understand their reasons why they are so against you and marriage with this sister. You do have to tread carefully, these bengalis' do tend to jump to conclusions! Keep your calm and explain clearly you intentions. With us bengalis its sad but true, there is a lot of material stuff people look for when getting their daughters' married. I'm not saying ALL families are like this, but I have noticed generally this is true.

     

    See if there is ANY way you can contact this sister and see if she's alright. Try and see what she wants too.

     

    If you haven't converted already brother, then do so. But do it for the sake of Allah not the sister. But from the way you're speaking I think I can tell that you're sincerely interested in our religion.

     

    Sister_in_islam also gave good advice, Masha'Allah.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  2. :D

     

    Because everything isn't pre-determined Allah has given us tests and one of them being Shaytan. Its up to you what you do with your life, but we should try and remain on the right path, Insha'Allah.

     

    Allah helps & guides when we ask, Allah rewards when we do the right thing, so Insha'Allah no we're not robots.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  3. I don't think so, 30 persons stopping to drink because of the believes of one person. They are pretty western-minded (in other words secular).

     

    :D

     

    It is possible. I had friends whom respected my religion and did not drink whilst I was around them, not only that, some of them so far as to not smoke in my presence! So its not impossible, being 'western-minded' doesn't mean you don't have respect!!!

     

    :D

    Eliza


  4. :D

     

    JazakAllah kair for your answers. I am glad and somewhat relieved that you all think the same as me, although I haven't said anything to my brothers yet! I didn't want to influence their decision without knowing right from wrong myself.

     

    I don't think they will apologise, especially my younger bro and sis, they're both good at standing firmly in what they believe is right, Insha'Allah. Dunno about the older bro though, he could still apologise, but thats upto him at the end of the day. If any of my siblings ask me whether they should apologise at least I have an answer now.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  5. :D

     

    But would it be okay for a woman to add a name then? i.e. her husband's name? e.g. Sarah Yellow Green? After marriage she would take her Husband's surname, but keep her maiden name as her middle name for example? :D

     

    She's not strictly changing it then and the bloodline should still be clear right? :D

     

    :D

    Eliza


  6. After all, if a non-muslim wanted to visit a Masjid he would be welcome and by that logic the reverse should apply as well.

     

     

    :D

     

    That logic is to try and spread Islam, as far as I understand. We invite/welcome non-muslims to Masjids so they can experience/understand Islam and maybe even want to convert, Insha'Allah. Its where knowledge is avaliable for all. But what benefit, other than understanding of other religions would we get by visiting these places? Maybe we would like to look at the pretty buildings!

    Beware, sometimes you can be pushed into doing something you will later regret when you are in another religions worship place, especially if you don't understand how their religion works. So for knowledge and comparison maybe, to Islam, go ahead by all means. It could benefit you and me, whom knows!!!

     

    :D

    Eliza


  7. :D

     

    Thats why I thought its not allowed in Islam!!! ^

     

    And Bro Panthera, what if people expect you to touch their feet out of respect? Would that be acceptable? But I was taught, that we should bow down to Allah swt alone and no other. And fair enough we could probably get away with touching feet out of respect (Although the Hindus do this so wouldn't we be immitating them? :D) but what if I demanded and expected it just because I was older than you? More status than you? I demand respect from you by expecting you to touch my feet? Would it be accpetable then?

     

    JazakAllah kair for your replies brothers.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  8. :D

     

    So should we not say “Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah" when we yawn and also when there is lightening? :D Thats another two places where I was taught to recite “Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah"!

     

    JazakAllah for replying.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  9. :D

     

    ^ Masha'Allah, what i was going to say sis Um-eeasa said it for me.

     

    When you cry ensure you cry out of love and fear for Allah, not just because you want your dua to be answered. Its sincerity which is the key, Insha'Allah. :D

    Don't cry for worldly things :D no point. Cry in fear and out of love for Allah swt.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  10. :D

     

    I would do obligation, disregard haram if it is Fard upon us. But your question isn't as simple as that, as there are times when you simply cannot perform fard because of it being unacceptable, not sure if it is haram what I have in mind. :D But it depends on the reason why you think it could be haram!

     

    Generally however, e.g. for timings of salah, brother Mu'maneen has given explanation.

     

    Is there anything specific bro? :D

     

    :D

    Eliza


  11. :D Brothers and Sisters.

     

    Insha'Allah you're in the best of health and imaan.

     

    As we all know we recently celebrated Eid-ul-Fitr Al'hamdulilah. And Insha'Allah we all enjoyed Eid and made dua for all our Muslim brothers and sisters.

    My brothers went to Masjid (as you do) on Eid morning, my dad took them. After performing Salah its traditional for the youngsters to salam the elders by touching their feet (I personally do not agree with this method of salam :D) and then sharing the hugs (sorry don't know proper name). But this year, my brothers did not salam my dad by touching his feet, however they did offer salam verbally.

    My dad was hurt by this and he made a comment which I will not repeat, intended for both of my brothers. My eldest brother did say he honestly forgot but my younger brother did not salam because he felt it wasn't Islamic, there is nothing in Islam saying one should (as far as I know too) and so he didn't. But he did offer salam verbally and also said Eid Mubarak. So my question is, were they right or wrong? And if they were wrong should they apologise to my father? :D My younger brother was contemplating for a long time whether he should or should not salam by touching feet, and then he didn't and felt guilty when my father made that comment. So both of them, in my opinion were totally innocent.

     

    My sister didn't offer salam by touching feet either, just verbally and did say Eid Mubarak. Now he's not talking to them properly and keeps chastising them, making them feel really bad.

     

    What should they do now? :D

     

    JazakAllah kair for taking the time to read this and also for any replies.

     

    With duas,

    :D

    Eliza


  12. :D

     

    Yeah, you could ask him to go to see his family by all means, but not to attend gatherings with Alcohol and the such, and maybe he could also request his family to respect him being a Muslim and not drink whilst he is there? I mean, its not as if he'll be there for long anyway right? So that shouldn't be a problem and Insha'Allah you could also go along with him to see his family from time to time, make both of you feel more comfortable. But sister, I wouldn't say you won't let BOTH your future kids go to see his family :D even if there was Alcohol there, coz he would Insha'Allah be their father too and he would like his family to meet them etc, it may hurt him if you were to say it like that.

     

    First try the suggestion of requesting his family to not drink whilst you're both there. :D Then see what he says and what happens, Insha'Allah.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  13. :D

     

    You know brother, I'm not surprised its your work again! :D I seriously think you should 'throw the towel in'!!! Look at youself bro! You're not happy with life AT ALL! Whats the point? With the way you describe your day to day life you will definitely make yourself ILL. What will happen then? Will you still go to work? Before you stress yourself out so much that you give yourself a heart attack you need to chill out!

    Did you say you live in America? Whereabouts?Or was it Canada? :D Sorry bro I totally forgot. Have you not got ANYONE whom could maybe look for a job for you? Like shortlist the thousands of jobs out there for you??? Thats what I did for my husband and it helped him. Is there no one you can trust at all? Is there no one you can talk to? You need to have a good break before (Allah forbid) something happens to you brother.

     

    Get some time off, request it NOW before something else happens, inform your family how you're feeling (NICELY :D) and tell them things are getting on top of you and you need some TIME OUT. When you are on your break, perform salah with 100% concentration and make dua, recite Qur'an and build the strength from within. You may feel like you have no energy to do any of this, but believe me brother, it will help coz Allah will grant you the strength you're looking for, Insha'Allah.

     

    WHen you're down it seems as if EVERYTHING is against you. Thats the way it is. You just have to practise overlooking the little negative things and stop piling them together with the bigger negative issues in your life! Coz you're not helping yourself, you're just making the picture look even WORSE!!!

     

    Insha'Allah once you like your life, and feel peaceful within yourself you won't feel so negative about your appearance. Maybe its because your stressed and all worked up that your appearance isn't at its best right now!? Personally I can tell when someone is having a bad day, I get vibes bro, trust me! So, if you're feeling down most of the time, then how you going to make yourself look better? Not much chance there.

     

    Insha'Allah you'll be in my duas bro.

     

    Take care.

    :D

    Eliza


  14. :D

     

    What about phone contracts? Whats the best offer out there, and what network is reliable nowadays??? I know 3 isn't very reliable at all, bad network more often than not!!! :D So what else is there?

     

    JazakAllah kair for any help.

     

    :D

    Eliza


  15. :D

     

    Excellently put by brother Lateral, I was going to say something along the same lines.

     

    You have to put yourself forward and understand their level of understanding and be willing to act 14/15 yrs sometimes! :D Think back to the time when you were 14/15 (even though it might have been sooo long ago :D :D ).

     

    :D

    Eliza


  16. :D

     

    Sis umm-Eesa its funny you should mention something like that! ^ :D I recently experienced a family member flip over the very same issue. :D Whats the point? :D We all make mistakes!!!

     

    Good advice given Masha'Allah! :D

    The major mistake people make is with the signing off with 'Yours Sincerely' or 'Yours Faithfully' many people don't realise which one to use when!!! :D But its included in link Bro Panthera provided.

     

    :D

    Eliza

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