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honey eyes

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About honey eyes

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    Islam
  1. Dead At The Age Of 14

    inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioun
  2. My Mother

    salam alikum, hey my mother is not getting any better, she curses me in the worst and most shameful ways for no reason at all just except that she saw my face. and she curses me in whatever she can think of many times when i am in my room upstairs or in the washroom i hear her yelling for god to kill me in a fire or mutilate me or somethiing EVERY DAY IT GOES ON LIKE THIS. and today FOR EXAMPLE when i went to the washroom to take a shower after school, i was fasting and extremely hungry and tired and she stomped up the stairs and startedpounding loudly onb the door and cursing me and screaming at me saying why did u wake the baby now what the %%% is she going to do with her silly things like that when in fact the baby gets up every day at the same time b/c that is her sleeping schedule and she knows that :D i shouted stop it....cuz i didnt want her to open the door and more importantly my baby sis was screaming cuz she was afraid of her extremely loud voice. when i say loud i mean very very loud, the house ws ractically shaking and when she curses saying stupid things like prostitute, slut, and gross things she says it with this loud slow motion expression and spit can be seen shooting from her mouth so its very gross to me and whenever i'm going somewhere i have to wear normal jeans and a normal shirt so when i go down, she stares me up and down and i find it very annoying then she calls me names and I JUST WALK AWAY FROM HER and she she calls me a prostitute but what i wear is nothing compared to one ...and every damn day is like this. every day i cry to myself thiking why the hell does she do this, she's making my life a hell and almost half the day she talks on the phoene with her family complaining about me and she has given me a reputation of a very disrespectul person when in fact i never do anything wrong. the otehr day my baby sis was crying b/c she was hungry so i was giving her something to eat and she cursed me to never touch her again and for the next 30 mins she was screaming why her life was so miserable and for me to die etc :D my house's roof is shaped like a cylinder so no matter what room or corner of the house u are in u can clearly hear any body from any room. i duno what i was assumingbefore but i came to the conclusion that she probably has no disease or anything she is jus t like this and ppl find it very hard to believe b/c they havnt seen anyone esle like this but be THANKFUL TO Allah that u dont have to put up with this EVERY second i spend in this home...every literal second and im not an exaggorator btw, is a hell and for how much longer can i put up through this holding it to myself? whenever i hear her loud voice shriking my mind bounces and my body tightens i cant take it olonger and also its only me she is this violent with.
  3. My Mother

    salam well if u tell my father that he'll say god forbid if a jinn acts the way she does, thats literally how bad she is.....ppl say she has always been this way , its just taht as the decades passed shes more depressed and dangerous
  4. My Mother

    salam, thanks a lot for ur help and suggestions....u helped me alot and i dont know what my mother is paranoid about, but i believe its taht she suffered from low selfesteem and neglect as a child and she openly tells me that she wants to take it out on me but i'm older now and shes too afraid to injure me physically again becuz i can stop her and tell . thank u heaps for ur advise and i also have learned to cope wth my problems as a fact of life, no matter how hard i have tried things never change in fact my mother gets worse day by day so its not like she is improving or getting any better..it gets worse. my father told me medical help is not the answer and he said she is sane and she chooses to do what she doess . she scarred me mentally in so many disgusting ways that i havnt ever told anyone about so i really dont care about her i'm sad to say and i just want her to leave me alone and not hurt my sisters. thanks for ur advsie because ur right i'll just be patient and take it as it is .
  5. My Personality

    salam i suggest finding a job thats more open to the public, but dont force urself to change because if u do it'll never happen anyway...just change ur environment and count on it that u'll gradually improve ur shyness but there is nothing at all wrong with shyness just when ur very very shy it sometimes interferes with daily life but i doubt ur that shy ...i wish u the best of sucess because u truly deserve it, u have a lot of good qualities
  6. My Personality

    salamm readuing ur posts i think u have a really great personality and ur really intelligent, one of the best i've ever seen ...stop being so self critical and insha'Allah u'll become very successful , stay patient and never change..
  7. My Mother

    on second thought i usually turn the quran on to myself or in my own room but one ti me i remember i did it in the living room and she would just ignore it and go about her business in the kitchen or go to sleep or soemthing...
  8. My Mother

    salamm no i havn't tried doing that, sorry i know should but i've never tried it... but could someone be possessed for years and years? because she has always had similar attitude even when she was young from what ppl tell me its just that as the years passed it is very violent and rampant :D :D :D
  9. My Mother

    sino honestly there is no one that i can put my trust in where i live....even my own friends they arent so close to share my life probz with and my teachers loll well lets just say it is impossible to reach out to anyone because whjere i live ppl are very umm weirdos, just concerned about money and their own lives, nothing else even my own relatives who i've talked about before on this forum..well i'm not in UK, i'm in the US and ppl here are weirdoz lets just put it that way be tahnkful u dont live here
  10. My Mother

    luffy well a few yrs before he would fight with my mom night after night over these issues and my motehr hates it when he speaks for us and gets literally uncontrollable, starts screaming about commiting suicide , starts tugging at her clothes and hair and and matters just turn way way worse :D and that is why my father just keeps it to himself. my father says just keep what ur doing and remain silent when she curses but i'm very very worried for my younger sisters because even at such a young age (14 months) she's starting to slap them and scream at them etc when they get annoying and when theyre crying and we're at school a lot of my family members caught her just ignoring them , the list goes on and on but the question is what is tehre to do? with a person as loud and dominating as my mother the answer is nothing much...
  11. My Mother

    salam thanks for the advise, i really need it.........zee sis nah my doctor isnt that type of person wholl understand hes a weirdo....and there isnt anyone in my life that will understand me because tehyre all living busy with their own lives. no one has the time to listen to me and tell me what to do, and my motehr is very good at turning situations around and turning tables around ec to the point where i just silently say to myself lahawla walla quwata illa billa because its just insane. i can't go anywhere loll where can i go..i have to finish high school and inshallah go to college u kno . i also have 2 baby sisters and im extremely worried for them cuz when i go to college my mom and my 3 sisters will be alone together and my fatehr at work so its a very tough situation uz theres no way i can study living like this and at the same time i dont want my sisters to get affected the way i did but i dont know. slave my motehr is very loud, dominating, big, etc she is NOT the type of person you can tell anything to , she'll literally scream in ur face and insult you so tehres no use whatsoever, i mean she acts taht way with my father so what behavior can u expect with the kids...its schizophrenia so she takes everything as an insult and she overreacts...i feel very sad for the babies because she screams at them a lot and makes them cry, and at times she says no wonder why some motehrs kill their babies loll tuba and she also says oh god what the hell did i want from these things...and i just say astaghfoullah because the babies are so gorgeous and cute and why would anyone say such a thing
  12. My Mother

    salam slave i dont need or want ur sympathy, kindly keeop it to urself i need advise alirght :D :D Muslimah thanku very much for ur dua and i have tried a lot to tell my motehr to change herself ans so does everyone else but she never does when i tell her to start praying her response is you do it loll but i tell her i do pray , i am telling you for ur own to stop making everyones lives hell but she doesnt listen and when someone blames her she resorts to crying , violent screaming, cursing, hitting, name calling, the list goes on and on thats why my dad avoids her in my cAse and hes too wary of causing trouble and sso am i
  13. My Mother

    salam well i wouldnt call it da kind of illness that she has no control overherselg or her words ya kno what i mean and the fact that she is only like this with me which i get mad about...of course i get mad at her because she isnt that kind of ill u kno like a mental person . she is very normal around oteh r ppl or at least tries to be...and its strange ya dont know that my purpose is that i need help because nobody understands my situation
  14. My Mother

    :D at 13 i was a high honor student in high school and the beating had stopped but both my parents would fight a lot with eachother and ignore me so i became severly depressed, i couldnt pray a single prayer no matter how hard i tried , i literally felt like a rock very tired and fatigued and i refused to go toschool. my parents both gave me the wronng type of attention which i wasnt looking for and instead beat me, cursed me and gave me so-called silent "treatments" which made me feel angry, rebellious, and i became more and more closer to Allah, praying late tahajuud, reciting quran , etc and now i am 15 quasi recovered , but my life att home becomes a living hell when i come home from school. by almighty Allah my mother when she sees my face she starts cursing me and she says very disgusting and shameful things to me that i am to ashamed to even speak about to my friends even because they are so shameful and she doesnt stop at all, it goes on evey signle day and i try my best to avoid it i swallow my anger and close my door but it continues even more in fact she gets annoyed when i dont get mad about it so she does it even more. she has turned my life into a hell and prison right now, i cannot go to work because theres no bus where i live and i dont have any one who will give me a ride. honestly though , i dont need the money financially alhamdulila but i just need to get out of the house to avoid this hell which goes on every day from the time i was a little kid..i diont know what to do now and my mmother refuses to get medical help..she is always screaming and yelling and one min. she yells to me that there is no Allah tuba and the next thing i kno she is screaming for Allah to curse ppl :D
  15. My Mother

    salam alikum, my mother has had a severe case of scizophrenia that has been getting more and more dangerous as the years pass. even when i was born she was like this and always fough with my father and his side of the fam. as i was growing up a little child i was the my fatehr gave a lot of attention to, he loved us all the same but he would give me the most attention and this would make my mom jealous. as a little kid, my mother would beat the living crap out of me alone when my father was at work which was for practically the whole day. she would get all of her tensions with my father about money, his family etc out on me and she would literally rip my hair out by bundles, take my clothes off, try breaking my teeth, etc and take me to the toilet and rown my head in it and so on...i was unable and too confused and afraid to tell anyone about all my bruises and etc and they just shattered me mentally so i just wanted the bruises to go away quickly and and pretend they werent there so that i dont get any memories. this continued until another 6 or 7 years and somewhere in the middle my fatehr found out about it, but i believe he knew about it a long time ago but just kept silent about it not knowing what to do because he would keep me to himself when he came from work and be nice to me. it was hard for him to tell my mother anything about it because if he did she would start a huge fight but somewhere in between my father spoke up and fought with her a lot about abusing me. i was always a good student though and i didnt like to think about it beacuse it made me go insane...when i turned 11 it became very rampant because my dad had gone vacation to his family and till this day he is scarred with regret because those weeks were the start of my emotional disorder, i could look at or by no way touch any corner or object of the house she beat me on or that i remembered and i would throw away the clotthes i remembered her beating me in to the point were i only had about a shirt and pants left and i was going crazy inside if i accidentally touched something that brought me memories i would scream and wash my self. then i developed anorexia at age 12 to the point where i was hospitalized and i nearly died of heart faiailure but every step of the way my father was with me 24/7 reciting quran at bed time to me and being there for me always that summer which was extremely hard for me mentally............. continued........
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