modestsister

Salam Alaikum Bro, Well, it is really good. Vary deep and thought of emotions, Mashallah. A vary big mind thinker and dweller... It makes lots of sense... sometimes when we look at how pious our beloved prophet was, how pious so many scholars are and Imams as well as other Muslims... it makes us weeker in the dean to feel like we could never reach to that level of Eman, overwelmed to the sense that we could easily give up and fall prey to Shaton. However, it is better to look at ourselves instead of others (our belove Prophet aside) ... if we set our goal to high then it feels it is beyond reach yet if we set our steps and have patience then by having patience and taking small steps and watching as we go along then we eventually can reach to the same pious level as all others and once there keep trying for the pious way of our beloved Prophet p.b.b.b.h., although we can not reach that level as long as we try our best and know that it takes time and growing then we can reach the highest level beneath him possible. Shukran for sharing, two thumbs up, Sister Heather

Walekum Salam brother Aaqib, Yes, INshallah when you write an article about marriage please do send it to me. I will not have an articles area up for a few months but once it is up it would be great to have some vary good educational topics there. Thanks so much for the link, I will definitely check it out. Shukran, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum Brothers and Sisters, I hope you all don't mind me posting this here, I mean I hope this is the right thread to ask for help. I run a Free Muslim Matrimonial site. I am working on a new design however am having a difficult time finding pictures that I can use. I do not allow photos of women without hijab and to find a picture online that is not copy written of a sister with hijab is vary difficult, even more so to find a photo of a husband and wife couple. So, with that said I am asking for your help. If you have a photo of yourself or you and your spouse and would be willing to let me use it in my new homepage design then please do email it to me. What I am looking for in pictures is: smiling faces, women with hijab and proper dress (no tight clothing or hair/neck/ears showing), must be 18 years of age or older, must give me permission to use photo (if couple then please make sure you have your spouses permission as well). Sense my site is free I can not afford to pay however you will have comfort in knowing that I am making efforts with this site to help Muslims find a spouse in a good way. A lot of Muslims no longer live in tight communities to where they can find a good spouse so many are flocking to the net and signing up to sites such as match(contact admin if its a beneficial link), yahoo personals and many more non Muslim "dating" sites, as well as Muslim sites that allow non hijab photos, photos of women showing cleavage as well as allowing members to use their site to find dates. On my site I work hard to kick of date seekers and those looking to play games, I do not allow photos that do not meat Islamic dress standards as well as I am always looking to help others thru my site. I do have plans to start adding info about marriage in Islam, articles to help educate and so much more to help my site to guide others on the right path. If you would like to help out with suggestions, advice or photos then please do email me at meetmuslimsingl(contact admin if its a beneficial link)]support[at]meetmuslimsingles(contact admin if its a beneficial link) To see the listing in the forums for my site you can find it at: (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=37547"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=37547[/url] Thanks so much, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum All, I am a member of the Muslimah Writer Alliance along with Sister Zabrina. As an American one would have to think that a sister can not be put in jail, however knowing a bit how the Saudi government works, well although it is where our beloved Mekah is, the government does not follow Islam or commonsense 100%. It is my understanding that the sister actually wants to stay there to be safe from her brothers rushing to marry her off to another man (forced marriage), so she rather stay in prison while she fights the forced divorce from her husband in hopes to reconcile the marriage. Don't always follow comensense or American/British laws when viewing something in another country, each country has it own messed up legal system leaving us to do these petitions to help correct their wrongs. This is even more of a reason to send the link of this petition out to all you know in hopes to help this sister. You do not have to understand everything just that a sister is in real need of our help to help her have her rights. FYI, just a year ago Saudi Arabia was seeking to kick all women out of the Kabla prayer area where Sister Aishah (moderator of MWA) ran a petition like this one and help to keep the womens prayer area at our beloved Kabla... in the day of the Prophet the women where welcomed there to pray, so why would a goverment try to depress women in such a way and take away a right that our beloved Allah gave them. Use an open mind when it comes to helping others, don't be so quick to judge or assume that they (she) has done somthing wrong. Suspecion is not allowed in Islam. However what is allowed is speacking up to help our brothers and sisters who have been wronged. I hope this helps to bring comfort for those who read to want to sign and help this innocent sister and brother out, marriage is loved by Allah and Divorce is not something that pleases Allah, so by all means if not for the sister then to keep Allah happy. Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum, Mabroke!!! this is wonderful news and I hope for you both the best and happiest marriage. Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum, You all have some really good advice and uplifting words. Shukran for the encouragement and welcomes. Thanks, Sister Heather

Walekum Salam Sis, I was so happy she reverted with me. I hear so many stories about Sisters who are dis-owned by their family or the horrible verbal struggle they go thru. Allah just willed this for both of us, Subhanallah. Love and Hugs Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum Sis, Shukran for sharing your poetry. Mashallah, it is vary nice. Keep writing!!!! Love and Hugs, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum Brother No doubt, what parent wouldn't love their sons poetry and efforts for Allah's Islam. Mashallah, I have read quiet a few of your poems and they are all such a blessing to read. Thanks so much for sharing them with the forums. Inshallah they will bless many others like they have have been a blessing to me. Fe Amen Allah, Sis Heather

Salam Alaikum Brother, Shukran for the feedback. Amen to that dua. Fe amen Allah, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum brother, I am a revert to Islam. When I was in the first grade I attended a Catholic school where at lunch time a friend of mine and myself snook off to the priests home to take an outfit from one of the father's closets (one that told my mother I was Satin in human skin) and to switch it with a nun's suit we had gotten from down the street at the nuns home. I thought it was so funny at the time but really disrespectful because after all they where human to. It is amazing how they seem to keep their doors unlocked but to me it was inviting mischief so I thought why not. Plus the nuns where really busy with their weekly, give food to the needy program that they did not even noticed us except one teacher saw us pass the school play ground which is how they found out it was me. To make a long story short I was kicked out of the private Catholic school I was going to, the one priest was over the school (which is why he was not home at the time) and it was just the last straw because I was pretty much the problem child at school. So onto public school I went. While at the Catholic school I did not believe as the Catholics did. I mean yes they have beautiful places of worship, many statues to pray in front of and many candles to light while paying a fee for each prayer candle burnt. I guess all that money is what went into making such a huge amazingly nice place. I even remember the day I got my 4 water frogs baptized due to it was baptize my pet day. Those where some happy frogs, lol. My mom at the time had gone from attending my great grandmothers baptist church to the Catholic church, she was majorlly soul searching. After being kicked out of the school she was to embarrassed to go back, so back to the Baptist church we went. I was mainly raised baptist except for the year we spent at a pentecostal "holly rollers" church. I ended up attending a private Baptist School for high school. At the Baptist Church I can remember so many times how they insulted the Catholics. According to the Fundamental Independent Baptist Church I went to, the Catholics will be in the Hell fire because they pray thru the Virgin marry (a human being who God used and that was all), they believed that Jesus is the son of God and he is the only one who a person can pray thru to get to Heaven and if you believe in him then you are saved but with belief comes works. Back in High school I started questioning the religion because to me things did not add up but really I did not know about Islam so I just followed what I knew. I was also afraid because I remember my youth pastor telling us that all other religions are cults, it was what he said that almost scared me from converting to Islam but then right before I reverted to Islam, I went to the Church one last time and when they bowed their heads to pray, I did yet I kept my eyes opened to watch what everyone else was doing. There where some kids in the back laughing during the prayer, there where people blowing their nose and people passing notes, to me this was not the way a prayer should be in a congregation. When the prayer was over they said "In Jesus name". I guess I had been so used to it and blinded but after reading the chapter of the Cow (the second chapter of the Quran) I felt more aware to what was going on around me. These people where neglecting God of prayers that belonged to him and instead praying thru a human being. Back to my thoughts sense High School I got looked down upon by my Bible teacher when I asked, If Jesus died on the cross and he was truly God in human form then why on earth would he say "My God, My God, why hast tho forsaken me?" I went on to ask if it was Blaspheme (it is, he was clearly in that phrase turning his back on his creator), this phrase in the Bible supports that the Prophet Jesus was not the man on the cross and that it must had been someone else they put up there who looked like him or if it was him, he was indeed human and not God in human form. However I feel more strongly that he was NOT the man who died on the cross, I have herd that many Muslims differentiate on this so I can not say who is right or wrong just that I know by what the Bible claims he said, I can not believe he was the Son or God or God in human form. Also, if God put us on this earth to worship him then why is it that in most Christan prayers people spend their time asking God for something instead of actually praising him like they should be doing. When I reverted to Islam, prayer was confusing to me yet deep down I completely understood the prayer because to me a prayer should be a time to worship God, not ask him for health or worldly items. I could go on and on about the many questions I asked and to no avail got some excuse that did not make any sense. But really when it came down to it, Islam is the only religion that made perfect sense to me. I still remember when I was reading the Quran alone in my room and had burst out in tears while reading the Thrid chapter that pointed out that those who reject faith are lost (lost basically means they will go to the hell fire). That made me so afraid because at that moment I knew this book could not have been written by a man, it was to in depth, it was to scientifically correct beyond it's time, it was something that only my creator could had said and for it to have such a beautiful rhythm when recited and as a poet I could not imagine any human ever writing such beauty. I was in to much fear not to convert to Islam. No man could had kept me from doing so. So with that all said my advice to you is that this life is so short. Countless are the friends I lost as a child growing up. One childhood friend of mine who I had the biggest crush on as a kid, we lost contact but I saw him one time before he was age 18 and died from being a passenger in a car where the driver was drunk and lost control. 14 was the age of one of my class mates who was asleep on his couch when somehow his home cought on fire and when he woke up he managed to get down stairs but he could not get out (reported by his neighbors and guesses made by the fire investigators). His neighbors saw him screaming for help but could not help him. The ceiling caved on him burning him alive. He was such a nice guy and had such a wonderful sense of humor, I will never forget when my great grandmother died and the first day back to school was miserable, he got thrown out of class trying to make me laugh. One of my best friends sense middle school was working at McDonalds when she was 18. She went into the emergency room one day complaining of chest pains, they sent her home and said it was just anxiety. Two weeks later she died at work while all of her coworkers where helpless to save her. One guy who went to the private Christian school jut before I did, had to drop out from school due to cancer in his brain. We attended the same church. He died at age 16. Really, life is to short to worry about women and how you feel for them. One thing I learned now that I am 24years old and married is that lust is so confusing, it will make you think you love someone when you don't. So many people get lost in this world because they follow lust. This woman has no love for you... love entitles respect, trust, honesty and so many things. If this woman points her finger at you and judges you then she does not love you but only had lust for you for a time being until she found another man to lust after, so she just makes an excuse to throw you away like trash when you really arn't trash. If you would go and follow Catholicism and became the biggest and best practicing Catholic, I am sure she would still turn from you. People who don't love you will just judge you. She will claim it is all an act for her there for again saying you do not meet her standards and refusing to marry you. I know this is hard to feel or imagine but are you willing to through your soul into the hell fire by rejecting Allah for a woman who does not love you? Allah loves you, he gave you the chance that so many don't have to learn about Islam and to come to know him the right way, not thru good people who where made by the Catholic church into idols. Love is not looks, it is actions. Allah has showed you actions be creating the Quran for you to read, by guiding you to believe in him and desire to worship him. If you convert to Islam and you really believe in the Quran and whoship Allah to the best of your ability then not only had Allah given you these things but he will give you much more for not just this short life but for eternity. I to have been in your shoes, I lusted after a guy who obviously did not want me. No matter how hard I tried to fit to his expectations it was never good enough because he did not love me, I spent and wasted a few years of my life on this jerk and walked away so emotionally hurt. Alhumduallah Allah sent me my husband, who really does love me, treats me with such respect, trusts me and takes good care of me to now when I look back at this guy that I thought I loved I am no longer blinded and see him for exactly what he was. No person is worth coming between you and Allah. This life is so short, time passes faster then we realize and soon this woman you lust after will be nasty bones in a grave and will have done nothing for you nor have loved you and chances being her soul will be destined for the hell fire for the wrong path she took in life. Chances are, because of the lack of love you received from your parents you are looking for love in the wrong places, looking for anyone who will say "I love you", "you look so handsome", "I want you in my life". Am I wrong? You want a woman who will be your wife, never let you go, never turn her back on you like your parents did, who will comfort you and hold you to help your pain go away? For some reason this woman has become that dream in your mind, you want her to be this woman. It will not work. She has already rejected you, so why allow her to keep torturing your and your self esteem. Move on and find a woman who will fit to these expectations of the love you so much wanted but obviously did not get enough of growing up. I think you are so used to feeling rejected by your parents that you have become addicted to being rejected by this woman. This is not healthy and you need to remove yourself form this. I think deep down you know she will never love you but you keep hoping and trying and tinking she will change her mind, she won't and you will have wasted alot of time on her, time that you could had spent converting to Islam, learning Islam so that one day you can be a wonderful man and Muslim for the wife that Allah really has destined for you and who will never reject you. Be careful hear, you are at a cross roads where you have the choice to take the wrong path for the wrong reasons or the right path for the right reasons. ***Brother, picture with me the day of judgment just for a minute of your thoughts. You are standing their and God is judging you for what you did in this life. That woman is not their, it is just you by yourself. At that time you will never see this woman again, she is gone and far from your mind because you are to busy begging Allah to spare your soul from the fires of hell. What good would she had done you? She can not save you on that day. But then in the event that you converted to Islam you will have taken all your bad deeds from the past and they will become good deeds because in accepting Islam you are turning and repenting from all the wrong you ever did and are lowering yourself before God/Allah and at that moment you are turning yourself into Allah's slave (his worshiper and worker) in this life. For every good work you do you will be rewarded and as a revert you will have so many rewards behind you to help you along your way as long as your conversion to Islam is pure and sincere and you mean every word of the Shahada. As for converting to Islam and not being able to marry, you can. Muslim men marry all the time no matter what they have done, women have done the same. So no one can judge you and don't even let them try. I run a free Muslim matrimonial site and I have seen it all. No person is perfect and each person comes with their own luggage. Don't think that all Muslim women are perfect, each has their own way of living their life and each are at different levels of practicing Islam. So no matter what is in your past, know that their is a wife for everyone.**** I hope what I have had to say helps you. If you ever have any questions or need help then all of us brothers and sisters on this group would love to help you. I strongly suggest that you find your local masjid and talk with your local Emam and tell him about your situation. Emams are vary helpful people and can help you alot. Fe Amen Allah, Sister Heather P.S. I refer to you as my brother because I think you already have Shahada in your heart but are at a point of confusion that all converts go thru. One part of converting to Islam is leaving the past behind you, it took me years to do this and sometimes I still have battles with culture and so forth, but don't let this time of confusion and hurt for giving up the past destroy your relationship with Allah. Also, please forgive me if I seem a bit emotional I just know that you are having a battle within and I want to help the good side win over the bad. In other words I think Satin is using this girl to keep you from the right path so I suggest you try to fight this urge to follow Catholicism especial sense you don't believe it. P.S.S. At the begaining I referred to how beautiful churches are... that is to make this point. It seems that Churches work so hard to make such beautiful places that a lot of people go to them just because of how nice they look. I guess they do not feel enough comfort that their religion is good enough to attract members that they use the eye (or I should say the deceiver) to draw people in. Not all places are what they appear to be nor are all people. In this life it is best to go make yourself educated about a religion and accept it by what it is, not what others make it to be or look like.

Salam Alaikum Brother, You know, as I read this poem I could feel the peace that flew gently from it. Wonderful poem, no advice to give besides keep the beautiful poems coming. Fe amen Allah, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum Brother, Vary good points, Mashallah. Really, if Jihad was called for I am sure and afraid that about 80% of Muslim men would ignore and not do anything. This is really sad. Shukran for the blessing of reading your nice poem. Fe amen Alalh, Sister Heather

Salam Alaikum everyone First thanks for reading this poem and your lovely feedback. I love sharing my poetry but at the same time I feel like blushing :j: . As for brother The_Mujahid, Lol, I am sorry for the confusion... :) I wrote this poem before I joined IF, so what can I say? Mashallah? lol Alhumduallah I loved this poem. I was kind of day dreaming about what it must had been like way back at the time of the Prophet for all these men to go off and fight for Allah s.w.t. and our beloved religion and for the women who watched as their husbands left not knowing if they would ever see them alive again. Wow, all the brothers and sisters who suffered for us to have this religion and for our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who organized these people, lead them and taught them so that we may know this true and beautifully blessed way of life, Subhanallah.

Salam Alaikum, It sounds like your friend has really been terrorized in life so to say. I can relate however I think if everyone looks at there life, no life is perfect or easy. I have gone thru depression for many years now, it is a vary deep and dark place to be. It kind of feels like being in a big pit in the ground trying to pull, dig and any way you can try to get out but you can't, you feel trapped. Depression can be caused by so many factors, in my case it is a mixture of problems including health conditions such as hypothyroidism and sleep apnea. The best thing you can do as a friend is to read online about depression and how serious it is (many people have killed themselves), go to google and type in depression and so many good sites should pop up. By understanding fully what your friend is going thru you can then become a better support for him. For those suffering with depression it is crucial to have friends and family as support because depression can really distort the mind and make people think all types of things even to the point where they may have a slight paranoia or fear so to say over things that others might not have. The most important thing is to watch your words and make him feel comforted and not judged and if he says something that does not make much sense then ask what he meant and try to make the best sense you can from it. Keep in mind that some of the best medications for depression is not always medications but good friends, laughter and exercise. Try to get him out of the house to walk and get some fresh air, take him somewhere fun from time to time, make any excuse not to let him just sit in his home and shut himself off from humanity because that just makes things much worse, reassure him of your friendship and how true of a friend you are. If he appears to be to paranoid then he may have a much bigger problem then just depression, he may have either psychosis, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or something else in which case you really need to encourage him to seek medical help. Even with just regular depression it is good to have someone to talk with about what he is going thru, about his past and what hurt him and allow him to open up and yes even cry if the need be to get those feelings on the table (yes, men do have the right to cry without looking like a baby or wimp, if they keep it bottled up inside it will just make things much worse, not to cry is actually a vary stupid thing. I know in many families men crying is really looked down on but really if a man wants to live a long happy life then it is necessary from time to time.), if by any chance he might have borderline personality disorder the past is best left alone and to deal with the hear and now and to encourage him to make plans for the future. A person with borderline personality disorder really has a hard time planing the future and keeping with things, tends to become verbally aggressive and sometimes even physically aggressive over the least thing and can go from a smile one second and an angry face the vary next, so if he meets what this sounds like then look up Borderline personality disorder on google as well. To be honest with you, if he is depressed and feeling like his own friends are against him (paranoia) then I kind of fear that their might be something deeper going on here then just plan old depression, it sounds more like a personality disorder in which case, you really need to be a listening ear and encourage him towards treatment. I hope this helps, Sister Heather P.S. Also if you can talk with him about his eating habits... making sure he eats the right foods is vary important. Tell him to stay away from chocolate, it makes depression worse. I know this might be a strange topic to talk with your friend about but really if he is that depressed I highly doubt he can really think fully about how to properly take good care of himself and in turn needs help with his nutritio as well. People who are depressed tend to eat more sweets, take out food instead of vitamin rich home made meals.