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About motherof2

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  1. Help With Marriage

    Firstly I'd like to say hello to everyone as I am new and this is my first post. I don't know where to turn. I am completely alone. It is horrible to be this lonely. I have only converted to Islam this year (thanks to Allah S.W.T. for showing me the right path). I was married two years ago and my husband is Muslim. I am pregnant and due in a couple of weeks but also have a one year old. For the past six months my husband has been very distant from me. He will not spend any time with me. He wakes up, goes to spend time with his friends and is out until early in the morning with them. He is not working after a fall out with my family that has resulted in my family and I having no contact. He will not come near me, he will not even hold my hand. He will not take me out. I can go out on my own, but he won't go anywhere with me. I feel like he's ashamed or embarrassed from me, that's how I feel. He is Arabic and I am Australian and he will tell me about conversations he has where girls come up and ask about his accent and he just says 'I lived in Australia for a while.' He won't tell them he is married to an Australian. And then two days ago he tells me about a Morrocan female he has been flirting with 'for fun' and she now has a crush on him. He is laughing and telling me this but I don't think it's funny. I'm so hurt by it. I am pregnant, sitting at home with my son, alone with NO ONE to talk to (this is not my country - I am living in his) while this girl has my husband asking her how she is in her life. I am just crying inside me. I really do nothing bad. I'm not trying to make out like I am really good and he is bad, but I truly have been above and beyond. I try to avoid arguments, I support him because I know he was going through a bad time after quitting from my parents, I have stood up for him against them, I make sure he has food, his children are cared for, even before I had converted I did everything in my power to introduce my son to Islam (originally I was doing it out of respect for my husband), I try to be affectionate towards him but he turns away from me. I don't know what to do anymore. I cry every night. I don't want to displease Allah. I know divorce is the most disliked of all things permitted to be done and I feel like we are so early into our marriage. We have only been married two years. We will soon have two children. Is it haram to give up so early? I try to talk to him about it and he gets angry and starts to yell at me. I don't know what to do. I am afraid if I leave he will take my children from me. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach such a situation? Am I in the wrong here? Should I be doing something that I have not learnt of yet? Is there a way to speak to him to get him to see that he has turned our family from being strong to being non existant? If he doesn't want me, why won't he just say so and not put me through this heartache? I am sorry this is so long, I just have no one else to turn too. I don't want to do something wrong in the eyes of Allah (S.W.T.) while trying to do something right in the eyes of Allah (S.W.T.). Thank you for any guidance you can provide me on this subject, may Allah bless you and be with you.