Jump to content
Islamic Forum

muslimaaah

Member
  • Content count

    11
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About muslimaaah

  • Rank
    Jr. Member

Previous Fields

  • Marital Status
    Unavailable
  • Religion
    Islam
  1. Closet Muslim

    That was a lovely post. Thank you! I am most worried about my parents finding out as they are not in good health. They are not quite elderly, but in their middle 60's. My mother is on kidney dialysis, has diabetes, high blood pressure....and slew of other problems. I am most worried about saying something and something happening to her. My father I'm worried he would have a heart attack. He nearly did once when we argued and I didn't speak to him for a week. (because I didn't want to argue, so I just let things cool down) He was at the doctors and put on rest because of the way it affected him. If I did tell them, and something happened, I don't think I could live with myself. :j: I could tell my kids and their father, but I'm worried(actually pretty sure) that he would move away and take them from me because he wouldn't want them in a Muslim home. They are teenagers and could decide for themselves, but I cannot support them yet, so.... I did tell a couple more of my friends. They accepted it well, but feel very sorry for me, as they feel now I am not saved anymore and will go to hell when I die. At least I have a couple of more people down. lol The funny thing is that we have a lot of debates on religion now. They think that the more I study Islam and the Bible that I will convert back to Chrisitianity. But what they don't understand is that I was a very devout Christian my entire life, and raised in a very very devout home, and had that way of life. So it's not that I didn't know what was in the Bible. Actually, the contradictions and historical things like the Council of Nicea along with reading the Quran were things that really stood out to me, and changed my views. I was sure my faith was strong enough to study other religions and it not be affected. But what happened is the more I studied, the more I felt Islam is right. That said, I see a lot of extremely translated things that I do not feel are right. But I just stick to the Quran and test things by it. I've learned to pray before studying for God's truth. I honestly feel that by doing that before reading anything, I will not be led astray. I read a lot online, and I think have done pretty good about judging what is acceptable and not. ISA. So that's how I'm handling that. :sl: I am also studying a lot on the internet, Quran, different sites, and forums. I like to look for things that are backed up, not just peoples opinions, so that I can go to the source, pray about it, and get a better feel for things. Thank you all so much for your posts. They really do help. I just have to keep on as some suggested and push forward. I feel things will happen in their own perfect time. I just get a little lonely and frustrated while I'm waiting for that time. I am a patient person. But this is a biggy. Thanks for being there. :no:
  2. Closet Muslim

    Thanks. I wonder how many posts I have to have to recieve messages? :D Thank you.
  3. Closet Muslim

    I tried to add a link, and I don't have enough posts to add it. It did say to contact an admin if it was beneficial, but I can't message anyone. Just go to Islamicfinder(contact admin if its a beneficial link) and it has a directory to locate local masjids and Muslim businesses all over the world. I think that is a beneficial link. :sl:
  4. Closet Muslim

    Thanks for all your replies and links. I have checked them out and am still checking out the prayer one. (there are several movies) I also found this link online, which is good. you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislamicfinder(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/ You pop in your zip code or country and it helps you find a local masjid. I did find one only 20 miles from my home. So that is not too bad. I'll call them and check it out. Another question? Is there a door for men and women, or can I just go in the front door? I've heard something about this before, is why I'm asking. I don't want to do anything wrong.
  5. Closet Muslim

    Any ideas about how to handle this?
  6. I didn't want to hijack another thread, so I'm starting a new thread. I am a revert of about a year and a half. I am a sort of closet Muslim. That is not how I like it, but for now it seems to be the only way. By closet Muslim, I mean that not everyone knows I am a Muslim. Everyone that I chat with (real life friends included), and two of my real life friends knows it. No one else does. The reason for this is that my family would not understand. They do not understand the real Islam. They only understand what they've been taught, read in books, and seen on tv. They make comments like "them Muslims", and believe things like the 70 virgins for a man in heaven. I am from a small town in the Southern US. My parents are devout Christians, as I was before my conversion. They do not understand Islam, and would believe I was going to hell. My mother is in bad health, and I couldn't stand the thought of her thinking I was going to hell and something happening to her. So I just try to find times to talk about the real Islam. My children and ex-husband do not know also for these reasons. They just do not understand. So I do the same; try to find times to talk about the real Islam, and they see me reading the forums and stuff. If my ex knew he would take my kids away. Normally, he couldn't take my kids away for that, but because I cannot support them or me right now and he is supporting us all, he would stop it and take them. I am trying to finish out my degree and find a job that would pay the bills. Unfortunately, I have a little while longer on my degree, and it's very hard to find a job right now. Much less one that pays the bills. So I just try to show them the real Islam and pray a lot. Second issue; praying. I do not know how to pray correctly, because I'm always surrounded by people and can't learn because they don't know I'm Muslim. I try to pray when I'm alone, but it's not that often, and I am not doing well. All of that Arabic is hard for a beginner and even harder with the motions of prayer. I was praying in my bathroom(only door that locks and I can be alone) until someone told me that is forbidden. So now I just try to do it when I'm alone. This is not allowing me to do my five prayers a day in the correct manner. I pray at least that much, but I pray as a Christian. Not to Jesus, but in mind, silently. I even try to remember the words of the prayer. So while I'm praying, it's not in the way I should be. Is that better than nothing? My online friends and one friend that knows about me encourage me to learn and do my obligatory prayers. They don't encourage me to tell my family, as it seems it would do more harm than good at this point. But oh I wait and pray for the time that I can be me, a Muslim, and pray the way I'm supposed to. Third issue; ex-husband. I call him my ex because I plan on getting a divorce and we are separated. But in reality, we are still married on paper and he lives in the same home, because he is supporting us until I get to where I can. Also, he works out of town a lot, so he's normally not here a lot. But lately, because of there being no work he is laid off. So he's here a lot. Thank God he still wants to help us out like he does. He is a good man for that. Also, we have to stay married on paper because of the insurance. My medicines cost $1,000/month without insurance. I am bipolar and need these meds. so.... I know I'm not supposed to stay married to a Christian man, but what do I do? Fourth issue; no masjid: I live in a small country town, and don't know where a local masjid is. I know they are in the big city like an hour away from me, but know of nothing local. I would go to one if I could find it and could get away. I'm assuming they would help me learn to pray and stuff? So basically, I'm a closet Muslim. :sl:
  7. Salam! I'm A New Muslim

    Not meaning to hijack your thread, but I feel you. I am a revert of about a year and a half. I am a sort of closet Muslim. That is not how I like it, but for now it seems to be the only way. By closet Muslim, I mean that not everyone knows I am a Muslim. Everyone that I chat with (real life friends included), and two of my real life friends knows it. No one else does. The reason for this is that my family would not understand. They do not understand the real Islam. They only understand what they've been taught, read in books, and seen on tv. They make comments like "them Muslims", and believe things like the 70 virgins for a man in heaven. I will start a thread about this so as not to hijack yours, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Allah will help us to find the right way to tell them, and the right time. Jazaks. :sl:
  8. Hi Again

    The first time I posted, this didn't work. I am excited about digging deeper into the forum and learning more.
×