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About maryam_nai

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  1. Questions About Islam's Beliefs

    As a muslim, I have to agree with Amna4. A true friend is someone you can talk to about important decisions, someone who can offer advice to you. Since all aspects of life should revolve around the principals set in Islam, then a non-muslim would most likely not be able to offer helpful support to a muslim. If a muslim confides in and trusts a non muslim to guide them in important matters, that muslim would soon be led astray from his or her religion. I reverted to Islam, and I still have some of my non-muslim friends, but I do not ask for their opinions in the decisions of my life. Even though my mom was not muslim when I reverted, I talked to her very regularly with love and respect, but I didn't let her western way of thinking influence my own Islamic values. Eventually, Alhamdulillah she became muslim, and as time goes by I share more and more about my life with her (we live in different countries). If a true friend is someone who is able to guide you and support you in challenging times, then it is unacceptable for the muslims to take the non-muslims as such. It is a protection for people who might be led astray; it is a precaution to keep the muslim's nearness to God. If you were taking a graduate course in theoretical physics, you would not invite your painting-art-major-friend to help you learn a new concept for a test. Muslims believe this life is a test, so we need to surround ourselves with people who can help us to pass. But there is nothing wrong with keeping in touch and showing respect to non-muslim people in hopes that you may show them by example that life as a muslim is very good and peaceful and that the great majority of muslims have nothing to do with terrorism. Also, true practicing muslims do have a very hard time living in western countries - I was one of them.
  2. Marriage In Islam (question!)

    Dear Amna4, Assalamu Alaikom. Just an observation – all of the responses to your questions so far have been from men. I am a girl like you, and I also happen to be a new muslimah. I am assuming you are also a new muslimah. First of all, congratulations on being guided to Islam. It is really the best way that I know of to live in this life, not to mention our hopes for the hereafter. I am going to make another assumption that you were raised with a western mindset – like me. So this little bit of background information sheds a lot of light on what you mean by the question, “How do marriages in Islam work?†One thing you should really keep in mind when reading the responses to your question is that there is a difference, often a very big difference, between an ideal Islamic marriage and a marriage between the average muslims. The ideal Islamic marriage in one in which both husband and wife are religiously devout and follow correct guidance. This is the type of marriage in which the teachings of the Quran and hadith are properly applied. Since we are human and in constant need of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness, I would dare to say that this type of marriage is not easy to come by. The most common type of marriage between muslims is not ideal. I will say, however, that they are generally more stable than western marriages. This is largely due to the element of religion in the marriage. When people have fear of Allah, they are less likely to be fickle and they strive harder to be patient and fair. The bigger picture of long term family is more important than trying to hold on to a fleeting moment of romantic love. Anyway, I wanted to make a distinction between the ideal Islamic marriage and the everyday Islamic marriage because when I reverted I was in the United States. There were not muslims around me, so all I had to go by was the information I read. I read about ideal Islam, but I didn’t see the reality. I was under the false impression that all muslims prayed 5 times (or more) a day and that not a single one of them drank alcohol. I thought that all, or most, muslims followed their religion to a T. If you are considering marriage, then I think you should be aware that there are many muslims who don’t know as much as you probably know by now. And I agree with the person who suggested that you marry someone knowledgeable. I married a student at the Islamic University in Madinah (Alhamduilllah) it was good for me. But don’t think there aren’t challenges. I remember another person suggesting that you should marry someone who has a similar background as you. I can tell you, that probably won’t happen since you are a new revert and you must marry a muslim man. Marriages between different cultures are tough, but as long as both husband and wife are prepared for the challenges - and prepared to be fair – it can work wonderfully with the blessings of Allah. This brings me to my next suggestion. You must make sure that your marriage is worthy of the blessings of Allah. I mean, you have to do things correctly according to Quran and hadith. Always keep obeying Allah your number one priority and the rest of your life will just fall into place – or at least mine has thanks to Allah. I’m sure you already know that means no dating, no relationships with men outside of marriage. Allah is very sure in His wisdom so you can be sure that there are good reasons behind the commands of Allah even if your own mind wants to differ. It is also good to follow your heart about marriage, provided that you opened your heart to Allah first. Think about what you are prepared for. I mean, anything could happen in the future no matter how we prepare – whatever happens is the will of Allah. But I am saying – if you are prepared to face big challenges and big unknowns, then dive in and marry someone you don’t know (after Istikhara of course) - I did it. Alhamduillah my marriage is good and I believe it will be stable all my life inshaallah. I married from a different country to a perfect stranger after only a handful of internet chats. He didn’t like to chat with me before marriage because he knew it was not right. I got on a plane and flew halfway around the world to my new life. BUT BE CAUTIOUS – I admit it could have gone very wrong. I think the success had to do with my faith in Allah and my total dependance on Him, so I only made that move after I was sure in my heart that Allah was satisfied with my intentions. So my point is – if you are the courageous type who can be strong through the worst case scenerios, then take some calculated risks. But if you need predictability and don’t want to be too risky, then I suggest marrying someone closer to home. Get to know a woman who is close to him first, like his sister or his mom. That will tell you a lot about him. Next question, “What is the appropriate age bracket for marriage?†My answer – from the time the girl has reached sexual maturity until the end of her life. You can expect muslim people to marry at any age, as you would expect in the west. How should a new muslimah with no current connections find a husband? My answer – ask Allah, ask Allah, ask Allah, go to the Masjids and make friends with women for connections, be patient, and ask Allah. Allah listens to our duas. May Allah give you a good marriage and keep you on the right path.
  3. How Do I Become A Muslim?

    Bismillah arRahman arRahim... An interesting thing I heard about Shahada - it is to witness, and some scientists say that nothing would exist if there weren't some conscious being to witness it. So God is the consciousness that allows everything or anything to exist. That is why it is good that God never gets tired or sleeps. So everything that we witness is a sign to the existence of God.
  4. The Science Behind The Veil

    Jazakullah for posting this. It is very nice. I know my stress has been greatly reduced by covering. Before I knew I was a Muslim, I wore regular western clothes. It was so irritating that being clean and dressed just wasn't enough. I would go to college in jeans and a t-shirt, but most of the other girls were all accessorized and fashionable. Islam gave me a big relief in that department. Now there is no pressure to be "hot". Clean and comfortable is finally acceptable. I also don't have to worry about the medical risks of sun tanning. All of my skin is protected, and I can stick to my own opinion that the way God created us is beautiful and does not need to be altered. I breathe in way less dust and pollen. There is more heat trapped around me when I am outside, but I like to think of it as my portable sauna that helps to cleanse my pores (the heat of my breath gets trapped around my face - portable face steamer) and effortlessly burns calories to keep me healthy. No need to go to the gym and compete with - or at least catch up to - all those people with perfectly sculpted bodies; just take a walk to the Masjid and back in 115 F weather under your niqab, and do a prayer while you are there. There are many more rewards involved in that workout, so you feel better about yourself on many different levels when you are done. Also, the niqab makes it a little bit difficult to go out of the house very much - which is a good thing. I get tired quick, but it prevents me from staying out any longer than my business takes. I used to sit in a coffee shop and read; now I do that at home. It is much better to do it at home because I'm not out among all the men. I used to spend hours wandering around the mall. Now I don't do that, so I save money and again, I am not waltzing around all the non-mahrams out there. When I go out, I do my business and I come home, thanks to the niqab because it limits oxygen and makes me very tired, thereby protecting me from all kinds of sins that I might commit in public idle time. But the pressure to compete and be fashionable among sisters only is still an issue. I don't like to even try to compete, but when I notice that other people are trying I don't feel good about it. I can't figure it out. Is it okay to get all dressed up to be around women? I mean, naturally women like to do that, but it is something better to avoid? If someone has money and she shows it off with clothes and jewelry around other women - is there sin in that? Maybe another woman would feel bad because she doesn't have money or time to be that "artificially" beautiful. Well then she has to seek refuge from envy... This is a very complicated topic to me. Does anybody know any Quran or Hadith about it? Does anybody else find it puzzling? My instincts (which I realize may have no weight on what is actually right or wrong) say that we should try not to invest our money and time in such materialistic endeavors, especially since it makes a breeding ground for pride, envy, greed, distraction from worship, love of dunya, and things of that nature. I have no problem with people who look nice in simple clothes and a little jewelry that everyone else would not find distracting. But I see no need to plaster one's face with make-up and spend hours on a hair-do to prance around other people. (if the husband likes it and he would be the only one to see it- that is a different story) Anybody know what Islam says about women being very fashionable and showing off in front of other women?
  5. Alhamdulillah, I reverted about 5 years ago. I was born and raised in America, but now I live in Saudi Arabia with my husband. Does anybody know how I can get into the sisters only section? I tried but it is protected by a password. Maybe I'm too new or something. Any American revert sisters want to connect, I would be happy.
  6. Sharia Law For Muslims

    God gave mankind the ability to choose what to believe. He didn’t “make†us believe one thing or another. He simply knows what we will choose ahead of time. God let us live this life so we could see for ourselves what we chose. When people go to Hell, they only have themselves to blame. This life is proof to those people so they can see for themselves what they did when given free-will. When people go to heaven, it is only from the Mercy of God. No human is good enough to make it without God’s Mercy. The only ones who perish are those who deny God and don’t ask forgiveness. When God punishes, the punishment is equal to the bad deed, but when God gives rewards, the reward is greater than the good deed. God is Just, Loving, and Merciful. By the way, it is not necessary to say bad things about my God to me. I didn’t say anything bad about the Earth to you. We can have a discussion without accusing each other’s deities of bad things. Please argue your point without name-calling. Our aim is not to upset each other.
  7. Sharia Law For Muslims

    Today, there are approximately 14 million Jews, 2.1 billion Christians, and 1.5 billion Muslims The sum of these three figures makes up a little over half of the world's population. Over half of the world's population has been convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that One God created everything, including humanity, and He communicated with many certain people throughout history and gave them a message to spread among humanity. It was the same message every time. The first man: Adam. Major Holy Prophets recognized by the Jews, Christians and Muslims: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses (there are dozens more). Major Holy Figure recognized by the Christians and Muslims: Jesus. Major Holy Prophet recognized by the Muslims: Muhammad, may Allah grant him peace and blessings. Through these messengers we understand that God created humanity in such a way that many of them will not accept the message. It is meant to be that way. Among the people who do believe there are different kinds, many of them being very educated and respected people with great abilities to think and reason. Among the people who don't believe are the same kinds. Are you someone who can confidently say (to yourself, of course) that over half of the world's population are fools, even though there are people among them who have dedicated their lives to research about their beliefs? Is your mind that quick to discredit the beliefs that have held strong among majorities for thousands of years? I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I am just asking, how certain are you in denying the God of the scriptures? (could be a rhetorical question) I know; just because everyone believes something doesn't mean it is true. (... but sometimes it is.) That leads to another point I would like to make. As human beings, we often make mistakes. We don't have the ability to be right all the time. Even when we are certain about something, we might be wrong. God knows this, therefore He sent down guidance. We should rely on God's guidance before we rely on our own certainty or skepticism. Part of sincerity to the Creator is admitting we do not know more than the Creator; we need guidance. Here's another sign that you might not think very convincing, but I will give it to you anyway... You can't go wrong believing in Heaven and Hell, but not believing could spell disaster. Consider these situations: Heaven and Hell Do Exist: You were a believer. (HEAVEN) You were not a believer. (ETERNAL PUNISHMENT) Heaven and Hell Do Not Exist: You were a believer. (ITS OKAY) You were not a believer. (ITS OKAY) If a person lives according to Islam, he will have many benefits in this life as well as the next. One thing you might not know is that a great deal of Muslims actually follow their religion, unlike many American Christians. If the Sharia punishments were implemented in the U.S., most of the Muslims there would be happy. I was born and raised there, and I knew a number of Muslims. Very few that I knew engaged in the activities that would call for an extreme punishment. Unfortunately, there are some who do. Besides, the extreme punishments have strict conditions, and it would be very unlikely to meet those conditions. The majority of the extreme punishments that happen in the world in the name of Sharia are done "illegally" in terms of Sharia. Anyway, following Islam makes this life better. If you don't drink, you will avoid many problems and be healthier. If you don't have sex all over the place, you can prevent bad things from happening, like unwanted pregnancies, diseases, broken hearts. The world would be a better place if people didn't steal from or kill one another. My point is that I don't think any of these things would be a violation in any other religion or belief, at least the ones that are for "good." So, you really can't go wrong in the afterlife by believing in the God of the scriptures. Humanity was made from the Earth as Adam was created from clay. Can we say then that Earth created man? Well, I think God created the Earth and then He created man from it. It is kind of like thinking about pregnant women. Did the mother create the baby? Did she put the soul into her womb? No. She really had no control over it at all. Some women try to prevent pregnancy and they get pregnant. A woman can take steps in favor of what she wants, but God ultimately decides when and how things are created. If Earth were the creator then it would have had to create the Universe before it created its self. Creation means making something out of nothing, which only God is able to do. If something is made and every part of it came from things that existed before, then it is not really creation. The elements of our bodies existed in the Earth (which God created) but our souls (also created by God) are our eternal essences that did not exist in the Earth. The Earth does deserve respect as a part of creation. Allah, the Most High says, "What! Are ye the more difficult to create or the heaven (above)? (Allah) hath constructed it: On high hath He raised its canopy, and He hath given it order and perfection. Its night doth He endow with darkness, and its splendour doth He bring out (with light). And the earth, moreover, hath He extended (to a wide expanse); He draweth out therefrom its moisture and its pasture; and the mountains hath He firmly fixed; for use and convenience to you and your cattle. Therefore, when there comes the great, overwhelming (event), the Day when Man shall remember (all) that he strove for, and Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see- then, for such as had transgressed all bounds, and had preferred the life of this world, the Abode will the Hell-Fire; and for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (tribunal) and had restrained (their) soul from lower desires, their abode will be the Garden." --The Holy Quran, Translation and Commentary by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, Surah An-Nazi'at (79:27-41)
  8. Need Some Misery In Life To Be Good?

    From the book "The Purpose of Creation" by Dr. A. B. Philips: "Why Did God Create Mankind on Earth? The question concerning the purpose of mankind's creation may be expanded to include the world in which they live. The question would then be, 'Why did God create human beings in this world?' Again, the answer to this question can easily be found in the final revelation, Chapters al-Mulk and al-Kahf. '[it is He] who created death and life to test which of you is best in conduct; and He is the Mighty, the Forgiving.' [Quran, 67:2] 'Surely I have created all that is on earth as its ornaments that I may test which of them is best in conduct.' [Quran 18:7] Thus, the purpose for the creation of human being in this world is to test their conduct. This world of life and death, wealth and poverty, sickness and health, was created to sift out the righteous souls from the evil souls. Human conduct in this world is the measure of faith. It should be noted, however that the tests of conduct are not to inform God about humankind, for He knew everything there was to know about them before He created them. The tests serve to confirm on the Day of Judgement that those going to hell deserve it and those going to paradise only got there by God's grace. With regard to human beings in this life, the test of conduct serves two basic purposes: one, human spiritual growth, and the other, punishment or reward."
  9. Jazakullah, your responses are most helpful.
  10. Can anyone please give suggestions on the best way for someone to start learning the Quran and some advice on how to stick with it?
  11. Introduction

    I would like to join this Islamic Forum. This is my introduction. The website is instructing me to write and introduction. It says, "Once you introduce yourself in enough words (at least 3 lines), the rest of the forum will be available to you. Well, that might be 3 lines.