So as promised, i want to share my story with you inshaallah. My English im affraid, is not very good but iÂ´ll try to make it understandable and keep it short inshaallah.
Bismillah Ir-Rahman Ir-Raheem.
I was born on a little island called Bornholm, that has Denmark to the west, Sweden to the north, Russia to the east and Polen/Germany to the south.
My parents got divorced when i was around 8 years old (wich is nowadays a common thing for most children in Denmark) and after that i mainly lived together with my Mother.
In Denmark we got a Christian/Lutherisk thing, called "The Confirmation".
Basicly, it is that when you are around 13 years old, you are supposed to confirm your faith in Christianity, al tough as any other Christian traditions in Denmark, it no longer really has anything to do with God and religion. Actually the way you celebrate it, is by allowing the new "Confirmant" his/hers first alcoholic drink and the whole family getÂ´s wasted together. I went and said "yes i believe in Jesus (alayhi wasalam)", but mainly so that i would get presents and alcohol.
I was never really religious. I always knew that Christianity had so many flaws and couldent be true and both my parents was/are atheists.
At that time (13 years of age) i already had started sneaking around in the bushes at night, for drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.
Actually we also smoked some pot that we got from one of the others big brother. When i was around 15 years old i was drinking atleast once a week and have had my sexual debut at that time. Still, what i have described so far is not a unusual childhood in Denmark. Also when i was 15, i started listening to alot of heavy and deathmetal music.
I played the drums in a band for around 3 years, that mainly had anti-christ lyrics to it. After those 3 years, i became 18 years old and moved to the big city (Copenhagen) so that i could drink and do what i wanted. At that time, my relationship with my Mother and Father was at a very bad state. My Father was/is a hard alcoholic.
Back when i was around 10 years old, he would sometimes beat me and the fall asleep, so i had to take care for myself with food and so on.
My Mother was/is a pretty conservative/right-wing when it comes to politics and i was pretty opposite to that, so i never really respected her.
In Copenhagen i was partying almost every night of the week for around two years, not thinking about getting any kind of education or anything else to be honest.
I was in and out of jobs all the time (mainly with organisations like Amnesty and Greenpeace) and i grew a pretty radical anarchistic vision (sorry my lack of better expression) and started to think that this capitalistic world had no meaning to it. What really was going on, was that because of my lack of money, my big amount of alcohol og weed (once or twice i also did cocain, but i cant really remember Astaghfirullah) and my general hate towards the norms of society. It was at this point i heard and read about true Islam for the first time.
Of course, since being in Denmark, i heard about those terrorist in the media all the time, but because of my radical left believings, i never watched television or anything like that.
We sat and smoked joints and listened to reggae/rap music and one of the guys being there was a Muslim. I started to ask him about Islam, but he wouldent really talk about it, so i started looking it up for myself on the internet and on the library
2 years went by and i became 22. I was still drinking, smoking (3-4 times a week) partying, having random sex (sorry, just telling the truth), but also i was lying, stealing money and clothes from my friends, shoplifting, being lazy with no job or education and i felled miserable.
I was not depressed, but felt like nothing in this world matters and got indifferent with life.
However i was still searching and reading about Islam and in the Quran, cause i always felt something when the subject came to that.
I started to realize some of the true evidences and beauties of Islam, but was still thinking "a God cant be real and even tough these thing fits, there is still so much i dont understand" so i started coming to the point where i would be out drinking, partying and at the same time be talking about The Quran and Islam, but always going in the end "Hah, if i diddent knew better i would become a Muslim".
Then about 7-8 months ago i moved back to Bornholm, because i couldent take care of myself anymore and i was pretty messed up.
It gave me time to read The Quran in silence and peace, alhamdulillah. Also it made me completely forget about alcohol, so i diddent really drink anymore.
I read it trough and everything made sense to me, but i was still "affraid" that this could be the truth, cause that would change my whole life. Then one day i used around 16 hours on just looking at scientific reports and going back and forth in The Quran and searching on the internet for articles and videoes about Islam that would give me answers.
I remember that i got stuck on the question of "if it should be a prove of God, that the univers is expanding but could it not just be going back and furth like big band/big crunch thing?" and i put my hands to my face and prayed that, wich many non-belivers do at some point of their life "if you a true, prove it to me!". I then looked up surat Ar-Rahman and i felt complete. Everything came clear to me.
The gardens benath, the seven heavens (know thats not in that surat, but it was everything) the wisdom behind why the deen is healthy and correct for mankind, why Allah subhanahu waÂ´tala wants us to pray (tough i still cant figure out why we cant have a full night sleep during summertime since it is supposedly good for us, but Allah knows best) and so on.. Mixed with my logical thinking, i really felt Islam (still in lack of better words) and so i said the shahada and kept saying it, turning my mind to the creator and for the first time in my life i feel comfortable being human and on this earth. I just know now so i have no choice. I must be the best Muslim for the sake of Allah and mankind, that Allah subhanahu wa taÂ´ala has meant it and will guide me to be. Allahu Akbar