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Posts posted by asiyaD

  1. I attended ICNA (Islamic Circle North America) in May in Hartford, CT. It was quite a large crowd and was a great experience. It comes every year to Hartford, so I will definitely go next year (I live in CT). I wore an abaya and hijab, pretty simple, which was what most sisters wore. Some sisters were wearing Dubai abayas which were fancier, and there were more than a few in niquab as well. Also many sisters in traditional dress like salwar kameez. Bring a lot of cash with you as you will be sure to find lots of items you want at the bazaar--I stocked up on georgette hijabs and under scarves in all colors, as well as fancy hijab pins. I think every major convention will have a bazaar. The speakers are usually great as well, I got to hear Nouman Ali Khan and Suhaib Webb, among others. I wish I could have traveled down to DC for ISNA, but that was the week school started for us so I had to work (teacher). Hope this info helps.

  2. I think we always have to keep in mind that Allah (SWT) operates on his own schedule. A year to us may be less than a second to him, so the reward for your dua may come much later, and not always in the form you asked. Also, we must always be conscious to not take a vending machine approach to our faith (I.e. put good deeds in, get tangible rewards in return). Our daily prayers are really for our benefit, to help us get closer to Allah (SWT). Alhamdulillah that you and your wife have been blessed with a child! Does it really matter in the grand scheme of eternity exactly how Allah (SWT) chose to bestow the blessing? In my humble opinion, I think that we are to learn patience when our dua is not immediately answered, and also to understand that Allah knows the best way for us. Think of the money you and your wife will have saved by being granted a child by normal means instead of the thousands you would have invested in IVF treatments, and use some of that to give charity to an orphan or to feed a poor person. Think of the care with which Allah (SWT) chose your lovely wife for you and respect that by making yourself turn off the ####### images and videos to go spend time with your wife instead, or watch a nasheed video or Islamic lecture on YouTube when the urge to watch haram videos strikes. Brother, you sound like a good-hearted individual. Never lose faith that you can return to a virtuous lifestyle --take 1 step towards Allah (SWT) and He will run 10 steps towards you.

  3. Wa-alaikum salaam, sister!

      Congratulations on your reversion.  Islam is the perfect religion and will bring much peace to your life.  I reverted in March of this year at the age of 46.  As a middle-aged white lady, I am still working out family issues and dealing with the need to explain myself when folks I haven't seen in a while see me in hijab.  However, most people have been very supportive and open-minded.  Give yourself time to adjust to your new routines (salaat) and other changes and know that Allah (swt) is understanding and forgiving if we make mistakes as we start down his straight path. Keep smiling and let people see the light of Islam shining through you!

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  4. Sister Yasmin's main audience is women.  Men can step outside when she is speaking if they are uncomfortable listening to her or looking at her.  Sister Yasmin has a large following among Islamic sisters and her books and podcasts support sisters in their deen.  Furthermore, I have attended and viewed many of Sister Yasmin's lectures and have not observed her wearing noticeable makeup.  I have often noticed that Sister Yasmin is dressed much more modestly and with less makeup than many of the sisters in the audience.  We should observe and correct our own faults before seeking to persecute others for theirs. 

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  5. Are muslims sorry for the atrocities, commited by 9 muslim men, who have been found guilty this week in england, of sexual abuse, torture, peodophile ring, mostly 13 -15 year old non-muslim white girls.


    Why do muslims, in there hearts, condem non-muslims to hell, and why do muslims come to non-muslim countrys to live?

    If Ariel Castro was Catholic, does that mean all Catholic men kidnap, hold hostage, and rape women?  If he was atheist, do all atheists kidnap, hold hostage, and rape women?  Should all men in Cleveland feel personally remorseful for Castro's behavior because he was from Cleveland?  The group of men in England committed atrocities against girls because they are EVIL, not because they are Muslim.  They targeted non-Muslim girls because they saw a vulnerability there to be exploited, for the same reason that Castro targeted lone girls walking in his neighborhood.    

    How do you know what muslims feel in their hearts?  The knowledge of who goes to heaven and who does not belongs to Allah alone.  My personal belief is that hell is the destination for individuals (regardless of faith) who knowingly commit evil acts and who knowingly deny the existence of God.  Muslims come to non-muslim countries to live for the same reason that any immigrant goes to a new country to live, for economic opportunity, personal liberty, and possibly personal reasons (marriage, to be close to family, etc.).  

    I am a revert who grew up in the Southern US, so I would like to point out that you could take the first part of your sentence "Why do ___________, in there hearts, condemn non-_____________ to hell" and insert any of the following words in the blanks :  Baptists, Born-again Christians, Catholics, Evangelical Christians, etc.  I have heard folks from each of these groups express opinions condemning various "non-__________" to hell while living in the South.  

    But you would be (as in the original sentence) generalizing and falsely assuming the private beliefs of entire groups of people!  

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  6. Tragedy, Trials & Tribulations… “The Grace in Calamities”

    Sunday May 12th 2013 at Edmond Town Hall, 45 Main Street, Newtown CT 06470

    First Conference event of the Al Hedaya Islamic Center in Newtown co-organized with the MSA-CT Council! Our invited Speakers - widely known across the Muslim world, speak to the theme of the Conference from the perspective of a Muslim response to tragedy and tribulation.


    Registration is free!62885_10101200798077911_2076693950_n.jpg





  7. Thanks for the response! Ok, so let me ask you this, it seems to me that Muslims present themselves to the world as being very serious. For instance I'm not sure I've ever heard a joke about Muslims. Of course not all jokes are in good taste. In this country jokes about lawyers are quite common - some of these jokes are quite inoffensive and some could be considered quite offensive. In a similar way there are jokes about Jews, Buddhists, Christians and so on. 


    I know jokes that strike me as "very safe". Jokes that I could tell to a Jew, about Jews, that I think would be well received. And so with Buddhists and Christians and so on. How about with Muslims? Is there such a thing as a Muslim joke that a non-Muslim could tell a Muslim and have the joke be well received?

    I have a hard time imagining any reasonable person making jokes about a particular ethnic group to a member of that ethnic group.  The person hearing the joke may laugh, but inside they are probably thinking that the joke-teller is a bit of an a**.  For example, I have a jewish friend who tells jokes about jews, but I would feel uncomfortable telling her a joke about jews -- it would seem rather insensitive, I think.     

  8. Ok. Is going to sleep at 11 o'clock okay?? Also, I just said the shahada and I felt a prescence, it did not feel just like one presence like many presence(S).

    11 o'clock sounds very reasonable (didn't mean to sound like I was scolding in my post -- it's likely that the times showing up on posts are inaccurate) .  Congratulations on saying shahada!  Masha'Allah!  Here is a link to Nye Armstrong's channel on Youtube (her video on washing before praying (wudu)):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WiF5WjTggs.  I recommend her videos, they are very positive and affirming for new muslims, especially young ladies. (http://www.youtube.com/user/iloveelhassan/videos).  

  9. Love Allah (swt) with all your heart and be patient with yourself.  Allah knows your intent, and even if it takes you years to become a fully practicing Muslim, he will reward the true feelings you have in your heart.  Read the Qu'ran daily, pray to the degree that is possible for you right now, and be patient that one day you will be able to practice fully.  When you go to college you will meet many wonderful Muslim students and likely have access to a Muslim Students' Association on campus.  If you are not able to go to college, you can still visit the MSA at a local school to learn more about Islam. 

    Be cheerful and loving to your family and always respect your parents.  Keep up with your schoolwork and work on developing the character traits of patience, truthfulness, and kindness.  You never know, your loving, peaceful example may lead them to Islam as well.  


    P.S.  As a mom, I noticed the times on your posts (and assuming they are accurate), please make sure you are getting enough sleep.  Not sleeping will contribute to your feelings of anxiety and make the situation seem worse than it is.   

  10. It's all well and good to aspire to be best as you can or seek a role model etc- but brother and sisters need to accept that they will have shortcomings and sometimes reading too much (like this book) can have a reverse effect.

    Some brothers then expect their wives to be like Aisha or Fatima and this can lead to problems (or vice versa, sisters expecting their husbands to be like Umar etc)

    Just find a balance inshallah and take whatever good you can.


    This definitely can be true, sometimes one can read a book like this and feel inadequate (I have far to go before I become an "Ideal" muslimah).  But, as long as we are understanding and patient with ourselves, and seek balance in our lives,  there is a lot to be said for aspiring to better ourselves in  our faith. 

  11. Assalamu alaikum,


    I don't know if this has been posted before, but I thought I would throw in that the book "The Ideal Muslimah" is available free to read online.  This wonderful book is available as an ebook (& if you join the site) as a downloadable pdf on Issuu.com.  This is a fun site as it has thousands of online magazines and books to browse.  





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  12. Hi everyone! I'm an 18 year old male from New Jersey (but if you can't tell from my screenname, I'll be going to college in the fall). As a person raised without religion, I've always felt something of a void in my life and I've done a lot of research into religion. When I was 14, I briefly joined the Baha'i Faith but I didn't really feel at home. Aside from that, my life has been lacking in spirituality. 


    I'm not currently considering Islam but I always keep an open mind in hopes that someday I will see the path God has for me. For now, I'm just a curious inquirer. 


      Congratulations on getting into Rice (Masha'Allah!!).  You are going to love Houston, it is a great town with lots of fun things to do (I was born and raised in Houston, miss it dearly!).  Rice is a great school, the education you will get there is on par with any of the ivy league schools.  Certainly I encourage you to visit their Muslim students' association -- even if you don't end up accepting Islam, it is a great way to learn about Islam and also meet really nice kids who know how to have fun outside of the drinking/party culture that pervades so many universities.  (Can you tell I am a mom with a teenage son?).  Enjoy your summer and best wishes next Fall.


  13. Do you mean treating reverts differently?

    In my experience, often the same people who talk about respecting Muslims (meaning those who are born into the faith & therefore it is their cultural/family heritage) and Islamic values will be puzzled as to why a person born into a non-Islamic culture or family (i.e. western culture) would choose to revert to Islam and all its "restrictions" and obligatory rituals (making wudu, fasting, praying 5 times a day).  Often these folks are atheists or nominal christians, so that is probably where the lack of understanding lies as to why one would choose to take on a new and (to their eyes) "burdensome" religion when one is not required to do so (i.e. the revert chooses Islam rather than following it based on family norms).

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  14. I enjoyed reading your story, OGirly, and can only say Masha'Allah.  Your life has certainly not been easy but Allah has guided you to the straight path.  I am a recent revert as well and hope that you are feeling the same sense of peace that I am experiencing.  I find myself in the same situation with a non-Muslim spouse who is 100% behind my choice to revert but has not yet taken shahada himself.  Although I am still a "baby" Muslim, it seems that what we can do is devote ourselves to Allah, be consistent in our salaat, pray many du'a for the enlightenment of our spouses, and promote Islam to them by gentle speech and good example, though the final outcome is up to Allah alone.  Hopefully you have found an accepting masjid to attend and some nice Muslim friends to support you on your journey.  Good luck with your salon!      

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  15. Thank you, dot, for referencing the ruling by Dr. Qaradawi.  I am aware of this ruling, I only wish it were more widely known.  And yes, platonic in our case does mean no physical contact (this was the case long prior to my reversion, due to issues with my spouse's age, lack of interest, and long-term depression).  

    I look forward to exploring the forum and taking part in the community.



    Quoted from dot's post:

    Assalamo alaikum wa rahmat'Ullahi wa barakatu (may the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)


    Regarding your husband, the well known sheikh: Dr.Qaradawi ruled that in your case you can keep your marriage, as log as there is hope in him reverting, but without physical contact (if that's what you mean by platonic relationship). Its too early anyway, and you have months ahead to work on it.

    May Allah Al-Mighty keep you always in the true path, make it easy for you and your family, and may He reward you with His blessings and happiness in both worlds, ameen.

  16. Wa alaykum assalam,

      Just wanted to add a few more things, if ya'll can be patient with me.  My husband is entirely supportive of my reversion, but simply lacks the emotional reserves at this point to plunge into a new way of life himself.  I can tell, though, that the positive changes he sees in me are affecting him.  My son is also supportive, and he is interested in learning about Islam and how to pray.  He loves languages, so he's also interested in learning arabic.  I may be approaching this all with rose-colored glasses, but I remain convinced that Allah is forgiving and merciful.  


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  17. Wa alaykum assalam everyone,

      Thank you for the nice reception!  I live in Connecticut.  To give a brief answer to Nightingale's question, I came to Islam gradually.  I was raised in a fairly non-religious household and only attended church regularly for a few years (my elderly stepfather attended an Episcopal church in the "good" part of town mainly to hobnob with the wealthy folks and when my sister and I were young and cute, we were brought along for him to show off.  He and my mother divorced when I was 12, and she did not attend church thereafter.  I followed a Christian-ish path until my thirties, when I became Catholic since that was my husband's faith and we had a child, so we felt the need to reestablish religion in our lives.   Looking back, I wish I had put more thought in before converting, as I never agreed with the trinitarian viewpoint.  My husband no longer considers himself Catholic, and at this point, due to depression, chooses to believe in God alone but not attend any religious institution.  I made my imam fully aware of the situation prior to taking my shahada as I was concerned about the various opinions regarding female reverts and their non-muslim spouses.  He impressed upon me that yes, it is a sin to remain with my non-muslim spouse, but it is a greater sin to be 100 % certain that Islam is the truth and to not take shahada.  I say du'a constantly for forgiveness from Allah for my sin, so I would appreciate not being flamed with directives to leave my spouse immediately or else.  I have resolved myself to stay with my husband in a platonic relationship and to devote myself to guiding him towards Islam by example and gentle persuasion.  My husband is  unemployed and we have a 12 year old son, so I feel that for me to move out at this time would be adding insult to injury and might push him over the edge to self-harm of some sort.  I pray to Allah for either of two outcomes to the situation: i) my husband takes shahada with intention of practicing Islam or ii)  we part peacefully once he finds new employment.  I prefer the first, but Allah knows best. 

      That said, my reason for reverting to Islam is based on faith and logic -- it "feels" most natural to me to worship only Allah, to submit to his will directly and to ask for his merciful forgiveness without the help of a "middleman".  The logic part of it is that Jesus (pbuh) never asked to be worshipped, rather Paul was the inventor of the crucifixion/sacrifice/salvation story, and Muhammed is the final prophet of God's message to us here on Earth.    

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