Hello everyone. The muslim forum I used to write at has been closed so I moved ^^
I am in a doubtful situation: I've been almost 2 years looking for a job, possibly according to my studies, which I came to finish with heavy efforts (terrible student). I was not able (neither I've been now) to find anything out of them, till now. In the middle of these 2 years I became muslim, I was able to generously pray the mandatory ones (and even more) till I found a job which didn't required experience and which also made my studies worthy (a diamond ore, we could say). The thing is, while my mother forbade me to go to Masjids (she's afraid of the Umma, generally and despises the religion) she also forbade me to reveal that I am muslim. She's toughly serious with this... meanwhile, I've been losing Dhuhr and Asr (I recovered them with 2+2+2+2 rakats after maghrib every time I came back home) since I started.
I made tayammum sometimes, and mumbled silently while working, also praying back at home. But I don't really know how this works, if I am doing something wrong, besides it could be dangerous for me to reveal my religion, and if I lost the job cause of this my parents could really take their favours away from me... and it may also become impossible to get another job (knowing how much I took to find this one) or finding another one just to have the same problem...
The thing is I prayed there (moving my mouth in a very stealthy way), without postures, while working. ¿Could it count? I need to travel by car to my workplace so I made the traveler's prayer, when Dhuhr and Asr. But it felt so poor...
The second thing is that the items I make (in a halal way) are used to haram issues (wine bottles, bank furnitures, parts of gambling items/machines, its kinda one of those things...)
Leaving the job would be a major risk (I, and a loss of time and money and a motive of agitation to me), telling what I am, too.
When Ramadan comes I could have a way to hide it, (and perform at least Dhuhr's one) properly but I am nuts about it at this moment... when passed a year or two I may also leave the job (cause I need the experience years to find another one, similar but with no haram things around), but feeling unsecure about where I shall fall. I want to know how to compensate this before the God, how much trouble i am getting to myself. And about Jumuah prayer, well... my parents forbade me to go to any Masjid, with such severity in their manners about it, specially my mother.
thank you...
