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cheerio

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Posts posted by cheerio


  1. assalamu alaikum

     

    Seeing hijabi sisters act like that shouldn't discourage anyone from putting on the hijab.. if anything, it should ENCOURAGE them to be a better hijabi themselves inshaAllah!

     

    I guess this is just an excuse...no muslim would do something bad and say some other muslim did it and that there is nothing wrong in it..it just doesn't make sense...we were NEVER asked to look at fellow muslims and follow them!


  2. One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.

     

    At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.

     

    The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.

     

    The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

     

    The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area...

     

    "It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"


  3. A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car.

     

    "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously.

     

    "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act."

     

    The officer wanting to be sure so he asked "Please step out of the car and show me."

     

    So he got out with the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.

     

    Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the tests they're giving now!"


  4. Another new bush joke on Jay Leno show

     

    Jey Leno: When did your daughters know that there is no Santa Claus

     

    Bush: What? (as if he thought there was a Santa for real)

     

     

    LOL


  5. A Texas cowboy got a visit from his cousin who lives in the east.

    He thought he would show his city-slicker cousin a local Indian tribe so he could see how they were "one with the land".

     

    The cowboy and his cousin come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. The cowboy stops and says to his cousin, "You see that Indian?"

     

    "Yeah," says the city-slicker.

     

    "Look," says the cowboy, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction!"

     

    Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

     

    "Incredible!" says the cousin to the cowboy.

    "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. AMAZING!!!"

     

    The Indian looks up and says...

    "Ran over me about a half hour ago."


  6. One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.

     

    Doctor: What was your dream about?

    Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!

     

    Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

    Blonde: I was running in a hall way.

     

    Doctor: Then what happened?

     

    Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

     

    Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

    Blonde: Yes it did.

     

    Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

    Blonde: It said "Pull"


  7. Norman and his wife were listening to the radio one winter morning when they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through."

    Normans wife goes out and moves the car.

    A week later while eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

    So Normans wife goes out and moves the car.

    The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today you must park........" then the electricity goes out.

    Normans wife says, "Honey I don't know what to do?"

    Norman replies, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."


  8. Here is the video clip of bush on Jay Leno show

     

    "you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_g.msn(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/0VD0/02/26?m=Hi_2807_msn.wmv&csid=3&sd=mbr"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_g.msn(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/0VD0/02/26?m=Hi_2807_msn.wmv&csid=3&sd=mbr[/url]


  9. A helicopter was flying around above Seattle

    yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

    of the aircraft's electronic navigation and

    communications equipment.

     

    Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not

    determine the helicopter's position and course to

    steer to the airport.

     

    The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it,

    circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the

    helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM

    I?" in large letters.

     

    People in the tall building quickly responded to the

    aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building

    window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

     

    The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined

    the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed

    safely.

     

    After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the

    pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped

    determine their position in Seatle.

     

    The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the

    MICROSOFT building because, similar to their

    help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but

    completely useless answer."


  10. Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern

    Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of

    the road.

     

    As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked

    the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

     

    With a word or two of thanks, she got in the car.

     

    After resuming the journey and a bit of small talk, the Navajo woman

    noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

     

    "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.

     

    Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine.

    Got it for my husband."

     

    The Navajo woman was silent for a moment, and then speaking with the

    quiet wisdom of an elder said, "Good trade"


  11. Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)

     

    Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, and military jets ,all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

     

    American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

     

    When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

     

    The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

     

     

     

     

    Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:

     

     

     

    " Defrost the chicken."


  12. A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of Sun City Christmas Shopper

    Seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.

    She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

     

     

     

    After approx. 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and hands

    him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight

    times.

     

     

     

    At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the

    almonds themselves.

     

     

     

    She replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are

    not able to chew them.

     

     

     

    "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled.

     

     

     

    The old lady Answers, "we just love the chocolate around them." (w00t)


  13. Cartoon Law I.

    Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

    Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

     

    Cartoon Law II.

    Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.

    Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

     

    Cartoon Law III.

    Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.

    Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

     

    Cartoon Law IV.

    The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

     

    Cartoon Law V.

    All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

    Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

     

    Cartoon Law VI.

    As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

    This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A 'wacky' character has the option of self- replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

     

    Cartoon Law VII.

    Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

    This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generation, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

     

    Cartoon Law VIII.

    Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

    Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

    Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

     

    Cartoon Law IX.

    For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.

    This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

     

    Cartoon Law X.

    Everything falls faster than an anvil.

    Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons.

     

    Cartoon Law XI

    Whenever a person is injured, they are supplied with bandages even if there is nobody around to supply them with any.

    A cat gets in a fight with another cat. During the fight, both cats create nothing but a blur. Immediately after the fight, one or both cats are seen, covered with bandages, and walking dizzily.


  14. LOL..oh man..be happy you didnt get banned!!! (jk)...

     

    I would say bug the mod..If its for a trivial reason..then I would say Talk to the mod...If you receive a warning, you SHOULD be receiving a pm too..although the funny thing is if you haven't made 50 posts, then you can't access PMs!!! I find it funny lol...

     

    I have a feeling this thread would be closed soon for obvious reasons

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