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About majnoona

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  1. when you don't want to live....

    Peace, To Guest: it sounds like you are going through what I went through once (though mine was a bit more severe). When you feel like you can't get out of bed in the morning, tell yourself that you'll just get up for one thing (like brushing your teeth). Then sit down, take a rest if you need to, and move on to the next thing (brushing your hair). Keep doing that until you're awake, revived and presentable. Also, you might want to make a special effort about your appearance- it does wonders for the self-confidence, and for how you feel about yourself. When you're all groomed, if you have a few free minutes, put on your shoes and take a walk outside, or even better, call a friend. When you are feeling so depressed, you deserve to treat yourself with good company and good physical activity! If you have tons of annoying homework, do one little thing at a time, and set tiny goals for yourself. Congratulate yourself. When you become successful at taking little steps to accomplish your goals, you will find it easier to push yourself further and further. It just takes time. Also, you might want to see a therapist. They sometimes have really good advice that your friends and family simply don't know about. It never hurts to try, and it's part of being proactive about your health. In conclusion, I'd like to say that when you think too much about anything (procrastinating, worrying, etc.), THE HARDEST PART BECOMES STARTING, or taking action. And, it takes 100x more energy to brood about these things than to take teeny, tiny steps toward your goal. I really wish you all the luck in the world, and I know that with God's help, you will get better :D majnoona
  2. treatment of women

    I'm not speaking on behalf of all Muslims, but on behalf of myself and what I see before my eyes. Besides, there are many (men AND women) who are completely in agreement with me. For example, the vast majority of Turkish women believe that their husbands are perfectly within their rights to beat them if they are disobedient (there was a poll taken a while ago- you might be able to find it on the Web). I never said "beat the c**p out of you." I merely said that it's permissible for him to hit you, and he'd have to do it in a pretty intimidating manner in order to really straighten you out (otherwise hitting you wouldn't make any sense). That's the point I think you missed (from what I said). I'm not expressing any opinion whatsoever about the "modernity" or correctness of Islam- just about what I see in front of my eyes. And yes, I think that Muslims tend to abandon some parts of their faith (i.e., hitting a wife, polygamy, slavery, etc.) because it doesn't fit in with their modern lifestyles, needs and wants. All I'm saying is, how can you add and remove things at your leisure? I think it's strange to say that you submit to a religion, but then to reject a sura that you don't like. To say that it's perfect for all time, but then bend the rules or create complicated explanations for the parts that you don't like. To whoever said that the Quran is not black and white, does it not say that it was revealed in clear language, easy for all to understand? I'm sure there are many scholars who would argue that Quran is perfect, and very clear. Nobody has an answer to my question about what is more disliked by Allah, hitting your wife or divorcing her?
  3. treatment of women

    You've totally missed MY point- I believe that YOU are misunderstanding the ayah, and that you're just making excuses because this aspect of Islam doesn't fit with your modern, enlightened understanding of marital relations. And let me make it clear that I am not Muslim, and that I would never stand for a man that beat me. I was simply telling you ladies and gentlemen what is in the Quran, in black and white. Why can't you all just admit that hitting your wife is permitted in Quran? It doesn't matter how hard or how soft the hit is- it's the same thing either way! You are hitting someone. You have abandoned your mind and are lashing out with physical force, using it to intimidate your wife. And that is the point!!! I think it's a farce to say that dharaba means to tap lightly on the hand- what does that do to anybody? That's not convincing, or intimidating- not any more than harsh words or a guilt trip! If hitting your wife were discouraged or forbidden in Islam, then Quran should say so clearly, but it doesn't. It clearly says it's OK to hit your wife. Why must you make excuses? It's part of Islam- just accept it. Yes, a wife has rights over her husband, but in the end, he is her keeper and maintainer, and he has final say. That's it. Point fini.
  4. treatment of women

    Hello again, Brother Majnoona? :D I am a girl, hence majnoon(a). Anyway, what I am trying to say is, why would Quran say that a man can hit his wife, if it really means that he can't? The Quran is clear, in clear language, and easy to understand. A man is allowed to do it, as a last resort, whether this seems distasteful to modern women or not. As for how hard or how soft, does it really make sense to hit someone softly? Try frowning at your little brother or sister, while administering firm but gentle taps about non-sensitive parts of the body. What's the point? Do you think you will get anywhere? The point of beating a woman as a last resort is to subdue her and teach her a lesson, which cannot be done with whimpy taps (especially if this woman is beyond all reason, and still out-of-line after negotiations, separate bedrooms, etc.). You need something a little more convincing, don't you think, to bring her in check? As far as those who think that men should not beat a woman under any circumstances, you cannot forbid what Allah has made lawful. Whether you like it or not, hitting your wife IS permitted (as a last resort). Perhaps a more appropriate question (which I cannot ever recall running across), is: What is more disliked by Allah, hitting a woman or divorcing her? Does anyone have any input? salams.
  5. George W Bush Wins

    Hi, First of all, America was founded on the separation of Church and State. What does faith have to do with anything? Secondly, whether Bush lives out his faith is questionable. Is it "Christian" to cozy up on the DL with people who serve your purposes (Saudis), but bomb the tar out of those who get in your way (Iraqis)? For money? Because we KNOW that he didn't go into Iraq to save the children from Saddam... he obviously doesn't feel that bad for the children in areas that have no importance to US interests, such as North Korea, Sudan, Somalia, etc. Oh, and maybe Bush could teach his daughters to be a bit more "Christian:" stop walking around half-naked, getting fake IDs and boozing it up about town. Bush also had a C average at Yale, and got in merely because he was a legacy. I personally know a legacy with a C average who got into my school. Instead of looking at where he went to school, let's look at his performance. And he DOES look like a monkey, in every photograph I have seen of him. But ladies and gentlemen, this is hardly the point! Let's look at more important things, like his foreign policy (a failure), his record of honesty with the American public and the international community about important issues such as evidence of WMDs (dismal), his fiscal policy and how it has affected the American economy, and thus the world economy (pitiful), the state of education and the affordability of decent health care in America under his administration (wretched).... In the most important areas, whether domestic or foreign, Bush has failed (not surprising, since he never COULD keep any of his own businesses afloat). Four more years!
  6. treatment of women

    Hello, I would doubt a hadith like that. With all due respect, what is the purpose of beating someone with a feather? Do you think that this would be effective, or bring someone around and help them realize the error of their ways? Isn't using physical force about intimidating a person, to one degree or the other, and about making them see things your way? I fail to see how you could accomplish that with a feather, or a miswaak. Peace.
  7. treatment of women

    Hello, Isn't it a little difficult to go up to a person who has believed in one religion for their whole life (possibly with the threat of Hell behind them), and get them to accept Islam and its prophet before hearing anything whatsoever about it? What do you say to convert them, if you can't teach them anything inspirational / beautiful / moving / true from Islam? I don't know if you'd have much success. Very good- precisely what I have been saying all along :D Peace.
  8. treatment of women

    Hello, Many men beat their wives, no matter what their religion may be. However, it is easy for a Muslim to find explicit permission to beat his wife in the Quran (Sura 4:34). And it is quick and convenient for a Muslim to quote Quran after he beats his wife, and say that he was only doing what God permitted him to do. I don't understand why there is so much fuss about 4:34: a Muslim is allowed to beat his wife for nushuz, and you cannot forbid something which Allah has made lawful. You can argue all you want about the meaning of dharaba (how hard, how soft), or the meaning of nushuz (what circumstances, how severe/disruptive), but the fact is, physical force against a "disobedient" wife (the definition of which is ambiguous in Islam) is permitted. If a Muslim denies that a man is permitted by the Quran to beat his wife if she's bad, isn't he or she just bowing to "Western" notions about abuse, bowing to the laws of the country and not those of Allah? That said, an evil man will do what he wants, regardless of whether or not a religion, a book, a film, a law, a wise person, etc., condones or condemns his actions. The fact that you hear a lot about domestic violence in Islam may be because you are sensitive to this subject. There is tons of information to be had, plenty of articles and statistics, on violence against women all over the world. Also, you may be hearing a lot about issues in Islam because many people are just now starting to discover it, and it's very much in the public eye, whereas other big religions are sort of "old news." A lot of people were very outraged when they recently read Sura 4:34 for the first time, but they failed to take a good look at Leviticus :D Peace.
  9. Anti-Muslim Film Director killed by Muslim

    Hello, Hmmm, though I am no fan of Bush, I cannot remember a time when he explicitly said that God told him to bomb those countries. It was more likely his greed that told him to do it. So when "Muslims" committ terrible acts, other Muslims say, "NO, they are not real Muslims. Real Muslims are for peace and tolerance." But when "Christians" committ terrible acts, you say that they were definitely Christian, and acting upon the commandments of their religion? All of the 3 major monotheistic religions have a bloody past, so I say don't get into it. Maybe not so much in films, but I have heard some pretty racist, bigoted and rude things come out of the mouths of Muslims, touting the ultimate superiority of Islam and Muslims, and the filthiness and ignorance of the unbelievers. So non-believers are not the only guilty ones. *sigh* I agree with the others that this filmmaker's criticisms should have been met with intelligent discussions and refutations of his views. If you want to show that your religion (whatever it may be) is truly wonderful, do so by setting forth an example of deep reflection, benevolence and compassion for others. Besides, this man was fighting with words, ideas that reach out to people. If you want to meet him punch for punch, fight him back on equal ground with words and ideas. That seems logical to me.
  10. George W Bush Wins

    Point taken, Livius. I apologize.
  11. US haters in the US

    The good thing about the US is that you can hate whatever you like, and you can speak out about it however much you want. If your ideas are good enough, you can develop a following, and if it's large enough, anything's possible. :D
  12. George W Bush Wins

    OK, I am American and I am not filth. So please, can you not resort to name-calling? Even if it's in response to this guy, two wrongs don't make a right. Besides, you're insulting (what I believe is) the majority of Americans, who voted against Bush (I believe he rigged the election). I was nauseated at the end of this election. Nobody with half a brain voted for him. Let's just put it this way- I had some doubts about the character of 2 people with whom I am close, before the election. When I learned that they voted for Bush, I lost ALL respect for them. I cannot say how disgusted I am, so I will leave it at that. However... the good side is, there will be many more funny books of Bush-isms. :D
  13. Abuse of women

    Hi, Well said. If someone wants to be evil, he will twist the words of others, his religion, the law, etc. to get what he wants. I think that the high statistics in the West are due to a few things: 1) Women have opened up SO much in the past few years, and there is a great movement to let women know that they are not to be ashamed at having been violated- the man who did this was in the wrong, as we are each responsible for our own behavior and HE was the perpetrator; 2) A lot of things that are considered rape or sexual mis-behavior in Western society, are not considered serious in others (ex., in some societies it would be largely ignored if your uncle touched your breast when you were little, 1 time, but in the West a man can go to jail for this). Also, it's true that over 80% of sexual violence is perpetrated by those who know the victim (including family members, friends of the family, etc.). So even if you lock a woman in her house all day (as some people seem to advocate as a remedy to sexual violence), you cannot prevent it from happening. Peace.
  14. Obsesive compulsive

    Hi, The measure of whether you have OCD is whether or not it causes you significant distress and/or impairment. All of us display the kind of behavior that you're describing, just not to the same degree. Are your compulsions (actions) taking hours a day? Do you feel significant distress if you are prevented from carrying out your compulsions? If so, see a therapist. Good luck!