Jump to content
Islamic Forum
Sign in to follow this  
property_of_allah

Nature Or Nurture

Recommended Posts

asslamualaikum

 

I wanted your view on something really important, primarily on the Muslim Youth today, and why they are in the state that they are. Why are we so astray from our Iman? Why do we seem to be embarrased, and continue to implement Western cultures in our lives.

 

Let me tell you why I am asking this, today ast university I was with 2 female friends (one a Muslim though non-Hijabi, and one non-Muslim) we were sitting down to have lunch, and they decided to get drinks from the Vending machins. So i was sitting alone, and on the opposite table there were 4 'Muslim' Lads sat there, talking very openly about 'Girls' I was feleing un-comfortable so waited for my friends to return so we could sit elsewhere. Anyway whilst I was waiting one of the boys said 'I prefer Muslim Girls myself' Pointing and laughing in the direction I was seated, they were Arabs (I know that becuase I have seen them around this building before besides they had strong Arab accents), anyway I felt really uneasy so decided to move. As we were moving the lads commented something about 'Arab and Asian' Girls, which meant only one thing.

 

Well this lead into me and my friends having quite a heated and deep conversation, regarding boys. They continued to say that all boys are the same, and they only think of one thing, me on the other hand thinks not all are the same, if they are able to control their Nafs, surely they dont all think the same. I said that I have seen boys who come to our house and if I answer the door, they look on the floor or dont give me eye-contact when asking if my father or brother is in, and if not they tell me what message to pass on. This was my basis, saying that they dont all think the same, however they had other ideas.

 

Now, the Muslim girl who isnt a 'Hijabi' see's herself as being quite liberated and having a lot of freedom becuase she talks to guys and hangs out with them, so she felt that she was a better judge of boys. So i said, well obviously if they hang out with the girls, they must think about girls, which causes them to hag out with them, but NOT all are like that.

 

And this non-Muslim friend of mine, wasnt really interested in my theory, an kept saying that the only reason you wear 'Hijab' is becuase of guys, so that means you admit that is all they talk about. Now, yeah one of the many reasons is to protect yourself *but if you have done your part, and a guy looks at you, that is no fault on you, it is on the guy, which is what Iwas saying* she didnt seem to be interested.

 

So, my question is, is the thinking of Male Muslim Youth today Nature or Nurture, is it becuase of their upbrining and they have no boundaries set in their homes, or is it becuase of the environment in which we live in? And the same for the Female Youth, why do they dwell so much on fashion, and looking good, when Islam says have 'hayah' and 'guard your modesty?!'

 

walaikumsalam

 

PS - Sorry for rambling on, and hope this made sense, and hope to read what you guys think!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds

salam alikum,

its alot to do with nature, that is why the quran deals alot with human spiritual issues.

Mankind will always behave similar to former generation.

yes men do have stronger sexual drive then females this doesnt mean we think about sex 24/7 however if you do hang around with females, and you have to constantly be in a situation were so called "liberated" whores are constantly taunting you then yes our desires will kick into effect, that is why there is no such thing as "oh your just my buddy" type relation with opposite sex in Islam. why women observe hijab? well Allah says so they are not annoyed, but i belive this is not the only reason. it is to make it easier on the muslim brothers to handle their desires and able to speak when nessary to a sister without being taunted by flesh.

 

well me being a guy i can tell you your theory is somwat true. if a guy hangs out with a women its becuase he likes the female character.

 

so yes alot has to do with nature, but i would rephrase it and say its the downfall of humanity and our ummah is that we are becoming slaves of our nafs (desires).

it is to the extent that we can say some are worshiping their desires. As Allah says :

 

“Have you seen him who takes his low desires for his god? Are you a guardian over them? Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are but as the cattle; nay, they are farther astray from the path.� (The Holy Quran, 25:43–44.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:D

 

I would say both nature & nuture...

 

By nature yes men do think a lot abt women... 24/7 mite a bit of exaggaration (sp?). this trend higher in younger men both due to biological factors and the surroundings. if one keeps seeing scantly dressed women all around them & on TV... they r goin to b influnced by all this. having female friends doesn't help either. married men too can fall into this trap but they seem to have better controls. there's a reason why hijab/niqab is a part of Islam.

 

there's a hadith to this situation.. i can't recall it completely but it goes along the lines that "there's nothing more tempting that women & wealth." i will try to find it & post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

asslamualaikum

 

salam alikum,

its alot to do with nature, that is why the quran deals alot with human spiritual issues.

Mankind will always behave similar to former generation.

yes men do have stronger sexual drive then females this doesnt mean we think about sex 24/7 however if you do hang around with females, and you have to constantly be in a situation were so called "liberated" whores are constantly taunting you then yes our desires will kick into effect, that is why there is no such thing as "oh your just my buddy" type relation with opposite sex in Islam.  why women observe hijab? well Allah says so they are not annoyed, but i belive this is not the only reason. it is to make it easier on the muslim brothers to handle their desires and able to speak when nessary to a sister without being taunted by flesh.

 

well me being a guy i can tell you your theory is somwat true. if a guy hangs out with a women its becuase he likes the female character.

 

so yes alot has to do with nature, but i would rephrase it and say its the downfall of humanity and our ummah is that we are becoming slaves of our nafs (desires).

it is to the extent that we can say some are worshiping their desires. As Allah says :

 

“Have you seen him who takes his low desires for his god? Are you a guardian over them? Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are but as the cattle; nay, they are farther astray from the path.� (The Holy Quran, 25:43–44.)

 

Jazakhallah'Khairun for your replies, i understand what your saying completely, but it seems that its hard to mke Muslims understand this, let alone non-Muslims!

 

I would say both nature & nuture...

 

By nature yes men do think a lot abt women...  24/7 mite a bit of exaggaration (sp?). this trend higher in younger men both due to biological factors and the surroundings. if one keeps seeing scantly dressed women all around them & on TV... they r goin to b influnced by all this. having female friends doesn't help either. married men too can fall into this trap but they seem to have better controls. there's a reason why hijab/niqab is a part of Islam.

 

there's a hadith to this situation.. i can't recall it completely  but it goes along the lines that "there's nothing more tempting that women & wealth." i will try to find it & post.

 

Well sometimes I think nature more so, then Nurture! Becuase if two people live next door to each other, hence in the same environment, and one turns out better than the other, isnt that because of the family and the upbringing?!

 

Well i do think that guys can control their nafs, and there is more to life than women, I mean Alah has given laws to abide by, so we should.

 

Jazakhalah'Khairun once again, brother MA can you gt hold of that hadith?

 

walaikumsalam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:D sis and all

very interesting article....i agree..NOT all males are like this..just look at those pious ones...its the shaytaan that they listen to when the commit sin like that

i think that maybe males are given more freedom than females and as a result maybe think that they can do what they want whenever they want...there is not much control on males i think...with control and guidance on the right path all this wouldn happen

 

unfortunately i think that not many males are educated or ignore what Islam says and do what there mates do...maybe they see non muslims doing it and compete!!

 

upbringing and environment both count and can affect people in differnt ways...

 

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×