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Terrible Sin

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salaam to all,

 

I don't know what to do, I committed a terrible sin, a grave sin, and I’m extremely ashamed of what has happened. I can't believe that I lost my senses so much so that I let what happened happen. I can't look at myself in the mirror as the reflection of my face makes me feel sick. As a result of the sin I have committed I can't pluck up the courage to stand in front of Allah and seek forgiveness. I feel so ashamed that I can't seek forgiveness as I feel I don't have the right to ask for forgiveness for what I have done, not only have I wronged myself I've wrong Allah 2. But I know I need to stand in front of Allah and beg for his forgiveness but my heart feels so hard, so cold. I think to myself, if I don't think about what I’ve done, it will do away but it doesn't, it's always there. I pray Salah but half heartedly as the shame of what I have done is too much. I don't know where to start or how to ask Allah for his forgiveness so I’ve not bothered. Another reason for not seeking forgiveness whole heartedly is because I feel I deserve Allah's punishment. I want to seek forgiveness, but the sheer sadness and shock at my actions won't even allow me to shed a tear. I don't know what's happened. How did I become who I am know? More importantly how do I become the Muslimah I want to be?

 

Waslaam

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PropellerAds

listen we all do bad things sometimes but the fact that you've acknowledged it and are repenting is showing how good you really are

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sisters strive :sl: if you want to make forgiveness and Tauba , show your self your soul that is dead and cold how sincere you are , wake it up and strive sister...

read quran more , pray more pray midnight prayers and read books , their is a Tauba book i am sure which helps a muslim to make sincere Tauba for cold hearted similar story as yours sister :sl:

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Assalaamu 'alaykum sister,

 

Mashaa'Allah, you are regretting your sin and that is a positive sign under the condition that you don't despair. You need to think about the situation with a cool-head, ofcourse a sin is displeasing in the sight of Allah subhanaahu wa ta'aala, but repentance is more pleasing to Allah, so what is the hold back? We all fall into forgetfulness and ignorance now and then, don't feel as though you're alone.

 

This does not mean you take your sin lightly, it does matter. Having said this, you'll need to rectify this mistake so as to avoid repeating it in future. No sin can be compared to Allah's Mercy, keep that in mind.

 

“Say: ‘O My servants who wronged against their souls, do not despair of Allah’s mercy! For Allah forgives all sins; for He is indeed Forgiving, Compassionate.’†(Az Zumar 53)

 

“One who has repented of a sin (sincerely) is like one who has never sinned at all.†(Prophet Muhammad Sall-Allahu alayhee wassalam)

 

So don't feel that just because the action was bad that everything else as a result and in the future will continue to grow worse- that is the choice you must make yourself. Despair not, have faith in Allah and engage in much dhikr, good deeds and so forth.

 

Was-Salaamu 'alaykum

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salaams to you sister

 

 

I have provided you a simple translation of some of the verses of surat al tauba, the repentances sura i explains in depth of what tauba is.

 

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Sister, this burden you have is from the shaytan(devil) he is dragging you down with him by putting ideas of Allah not accepting repentances. Being shameful of your sin means you’re on the right path, raise your hands up high and thank Allah for this, for there is those how take their sins lightly and become so blind to repent. Do thank Allah this time and don’t take it for granted. To pass this time though repentances is your test so don’t throw it away, don’t let the shaytan take to astray. Anyways I am not going to lecture on more I given time to try and provide you with few good sources but it’s all down to you whether you can search on it more sister don’t waste your time on posting your problems on counselling forums believe me and take it from there is little that others can do to help you only you can. Just look at my post do you think is enough, I definitely don’t think so.

 

 

You said you want Allah’s punishment why do you say that Allah hates to punish his servants. I know that there is a hadith on this but I couldn’t find it on internet. And I am not at home to find my Bukhari. Oh yeah I advice you to pay some hadith books it’ll settle you down.

This hadith is a good one and similar too.

 

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said: Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him. It was related by al-Bukhari.

 

 

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it. It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.

 

 

WELL AFTER THIS HADITH I DON’T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT THE DOOR FOR REPENTANCES IS ALWAYS WIDELY OPEN.

 

 

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO REPENT.

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:sl:

 

^^^ Bro/sis thanks for the insightful advice and post.May Allah reward you well.Ameen

 

Sister Allah love your more than the combine love of 70 mothers and he has put his mercy over you by covering your thought.So be thankful and do as much zikr to thank him.

 

If he wanted to punished you then he may have already punished you in ways which you cant even imagine.So be thankful to a God like that....send as many blessing or Darud on Prophet Mohammed SAW to ease the hardness of heart.Inshallah things will be ok Just do the good deeds sister and sin and its guilt will go away.

 

"Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins (except shirk): for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'" (39:53)

 

...if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (your conduct), lo! Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (6:54)

 

"Forgiveness is only incumbent on Allah towards those who do evil out of ignorance and then turn quickly (in repentance) to Allah. Toward them will Allah turn in mercy; for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom." (4:17)

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:sl:

 

:sl: These verses and hadith will put your mind at rest and urge you to repent rather then wallow into pity.

 

“And never give up hope of Allah's Mercy. Certainly, no one despairs of Allah's Mercy, except the people who disbelieve.†[soorah Yusuf (12): 87]

 

And whosoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.†[soorah an-Nisa (4): 110]

 

Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radhi allahu anhu) relates that some prisoners were brought before Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and amongst them was a woman who was frantically searching for someone in the crowd. When she found a baby amongst the prisoners, she took it in her arms, cradled it next to her chest and suckled it. So Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Do you think that this woman would ever throw her child into the fire?" We said: 'By Allah, Never!' So he said: "Allah is more merciful to His believing servants than that mother could ever be to her child." [saheeh al-Bukharee (10/426) and Saheeh Muslim (18/80)]

 

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) relates that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Indeed, before Allah created the creation, He decreed for Himself, 'Indeed My Mercy prevails over My Anger.†[saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim (17/68)]

 

 

Sister, I urge you to not give into the waswasah of the shaytaan who is clouding your perception of Allah the most Merciful, the All forgiving! It is shaytaan who is causing you to despair! Despair leads to no self worth and thus opens for the doors to fitna and sins.

 

You fell into his trap before, don't allow him to do it again!

 

Please repent before it is too late. "Allah the Mighty and Majestic accepts the repentance of His servant as long as long as his death-rattle has not begun." [At-Tirmidhi]

 

 

Ask for forgiveness even if you do not feel anything as of yet. Persist, and i can vouch that if ANYTHING it will make you humble and thus pave a path of sincerity and righteousness for yourself.

 

 

Here are some duas you can recite whenever. Remember that in the 'rememberence of Allah do hearts find rest' (Quran13:28)

 

 

*

Rabbanaa faghfir lana thunoobana wa kaffir 'anna sayyiaatinaa wa tawaffanaa ma 'al abraar.

Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and efface our bad deeds and take our souls in the company of the righteous (Quran 3:193).

*

Rabbana thalamnaa anfusanaa wa illam taghfir lanaa wa tar hamnaa lanakoo nunna meen al khasireen.

Our Lord! We have sinned against ourselves and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost.

*

Rabbanagh firlanaa wa li ikhwaa ninallatheena sabaqoonaa bil eemani wa la taj'al fee quloobinaa ghillall lillatheena aamanoo rabbanaa innaka raoofur raheem.

Our Lord! Forgive us, and our brethren who came before us into the Faith, and leave not, in our hearts, rancour (or sense of injury) against those who have believed. Our Lord! Thou art indeed Full of Kindness, Most Merciful (Quran 59:10).

*

Rabbanagh firlana thunoobana wa israfana fee amrina wa thabbit aqdaa mana wan surna alal qawmil kafireeen.

Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and the lack of moderation in our doings, and make firm our steps and succor us against those who deny the truth (Quran 3:147).

 

Ameen

 

 

 

May Allah swt guide us, protect us from the evil of ourselves and others. Ameen

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:sl: Sis

 

 

What i would do personally is beg Allah (swt).

 

During Tahajjud Prayers, Allah (swt)'s mercy is reaches the first Sky.

 

 

I would also fast for a couple of weeks. (Tuesdays, Thursdays)

 

 

Remember Allah is MOST Merciful of ALL.

 

InshALLAH Allah(swt) WILL Forgive you if you sincerely Repent.

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:sl:

 

 

I also think it would be best for you to read up more about Allah swt. Get closer to Him by naffal salah. Following the obligatory ones of course. Read and contemplate the meaning behind His attributes.

 

I think that you don't understand Him fully, else you'd not ask for His punishment. Sis, if a Muslim truly understands Allah swts power and wrath aswell as His mercy, they'd never dare fathom the idea of being subject to His punishment. Doing so is underestimating Him and almost insulting.

 

Hell fire was never created for the Mumin. You are a Muslim. :sl: Live up to that name and don't imagine yourself nor let yourself ending up in the eternal abode of the disbelievers. True, Muslims will taste it. But to cleanse them of their sins. However YOU have the chance to repent and cleanse yourself NOW , rather then it being done for you. Which way would you prefer?

 

Fee amanlililah

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salaam sister,

my counsel below is my opinion and i intend well, i sincerely hope it helps you,myself and all muslims and through them all humans (amen)

when you state,"i feel i deserve punishment' this is very normal...it is probably basic to faith in Allah, as omar razi allahu anhu stated,"inn al mar' al mo'min baina mukhafaatain, bain ajalin qad mazaa, maa yadri mallahu sani'un bih v bain ajalin qad qazaa, maa yadri mallahu qaziun bih"<a beliveing person is between two fears, a moment that passed,the believer does not know how Allah perceived(the person's action during that moment)and the arriving moment, the mo'min does not know what Allah has sent in that moment....>

i sense from your writing that whatever caused this present stage that you are at, is a blessing in disguise..read on please..

you write,"i have wronged not only myself but i feel i wronged Allah too"...this gives away the root cause for your state...

1.it explains that when you were not sinning you were thinking/feeling that you were contributing to Allah's Grace/ doing Allah a favor

that caused you to drown in dismay once you committed the sin you refer to...you unknowingly started believing in your own muscle of mind,tact and virtue/goodness, and went astray from your faith in Allah THE ALMIGHTY

it is usual for a believer to forget that whatever piety he/she practices/perceives is Allah's blessing,and the shirk hidden in giving oneself the credit and not Allah for one's piety, remains hidden to the person's eyes....

when you were not sinning you were not because Allah was keeping you from it, He was doing you a favor,and enhancing your own status in your own eyes....but you probably forgot that, and kept forgetting that for a very long time, to have reached that stage where the Absolutely Merciful allowed a shaitan to lead you to this present stage, where you do repent, but repeat your shirk of feeling,"you let Allah down/wronged Allah"...

no...not at all...subhanohu v ta'laa is above and beyond, being wronged or complemented by anyone/thing...

i suggest that you say 2 rak'a of taubaa. shukar and hajaa....leave the accpetence of tauba to Allah...he will allow your heart to feel free of sin, when HE wishes...you are not seeking tauba to feel good again, you are seeking tauba to feel enslaved by Allah, and slaves dont dictate to master...

tears, will come when He allows, so will peace..trust Allah and GIVE UP YOUR MISCONCEPTION THAT YOU DO Allah FAVORS BY NOT SINNING OR YOU HURT HIM BY SINNING...move on and pray for all muslims including myself...please

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Isnt it a sign of sincere repentance ? Dont lose hope..........and never lose hope for Allah's mercy

 

Salam

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Asalaamalikum,

 

I just wanted to say :sl: to each and everyone who has taken the time and effort to reply. You have all given me lots to think about and Inshallah I will spend more time and effort in repenting and raising my taqwa, become more conscious of Allah. I feel like banging my head against the wall, I can’t believe how stupid I have been..

 

May Allah reward you for your wonderful, useful and practical advice. I will act upon the advice you have given me inshallah.

 

Walikumsalaam.

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May Allah (swt) Forgive you and forgive all of us for our Sins. Ameen.

 

Keep praying and making dua for yourself, as suggested in the posts

by our muslim brothers & sisters. May Allah (Swt) bless you all. Ameen.

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'i feel like banging my head against the wall'...absolutely a perfectionists words when he/she errs...i wish you would find solace in the fact that 'only Allah is perfect'..may you and your family enjoy a happy eid..salaam

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:sl:

 

I agree with what the brother above has stated.

 

Dear Sister, know that mankind was created weak. It is through repentance and :sl: ultimately piety, that we are given one of many keys to reward in the Hereafter and Allah swt's pardon and blessings in this life.

 

There are times in life when negativity can benefit us. Though this a sin and just slightly different, it has still paved the way for you to gain God consciousness and change. Alhamdulilah or that. Use it as a learning experience and as the inception of religious self development rather then self pity.

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Salam Alaikum

My dear sister in Islam

 

May Allah forgive you, and i had that feeling once.

I agree with all the Above statements of brothers and sisters..

 

May Allah make it easy on u... aameen

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