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Omar786

Question about Dowry

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:sl:

 

Sister, I do not wish to high jack your thread but its seem like the right place to as my question

 

Can some one explain how dowry works

as far as I know, in Islam it is up to the man to give a dowry to the brides family

but in Pakistani culture it is always the brides family which gives the dowry

 

I would be great full if some one can clear that up for me

Edited by Aamina
split topic

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:sl: brother

 

I split your question from sister ebtesam's topic, hence here is the answer to your query:

 

Mahr is a wife's right, which becomes binding upon the husband once the marriage is contracted. It is fully payable after the consummation of marriage. Allah says in the Qur'an, "And give women (on marriage) their dowry as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." (Al-Nisa' :4)

 

Mahris very important in Islamic marriage. It is obligatory on the husband to pay mahr to his wife unless she expressly, by her own will and without any pressure, tells her husband that he does not have to pay it, or she returns the amount of mahr to him. Mahr belongs to the wife and it is to be given to her only. It is not the property of her parents or her guardian. No one can forgive the husband to pay the mahr except the wife herself; or in case she did not go to her husband and the marriage ended without consummation, then in that situation her guardian can also forgive the mahr on her behalf (Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi)

 

However, if the proposing man gave the mahr to the woman's father, then there is nothing wrong in doing that, and in this case I urge the father of the bride to give his daughter the mahr afterwards, as it is her right, whether it is paid in advance or deferred.

 

Referring to the fact that women are entitled to their mahr and the fact that it should be originally given to them not their fathers, Allah Almighty says: "And give women (on marriage) their dowry as a free gift… "(Al-Nisaa' :4) (Dr. `Ali Juma`ah)

 

You may read the answer in full, here:

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503546444"]Source[/url]

 

And read the replies in the following thread:

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=39139&st=0"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=39139&st=0[/url]

 

I hope this helps, Inshaa'Allah

Was-Salaamu 'alaykum

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Assalamu alaikum, JazaakAllahu Khairan for the reply Aamina, here is another link from Gawaher. Assalamu Alaikum, umAhmad

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=30982&hl=dowry"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic...82&hl=dowry[/url]

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:sl:

I would also like to add that in places like India and Pakistan, the bride's family giving dowry to the husband, instead of the other way, is totally a traditional custom / habit, and has nothing to do with Islam. It is against Islamic teachings to do so. It also causes lots of crimes committed by some husbands against the poor wives after marriage, in cases when bride's family fail to pay. Islamic teachings always prove to be wise and balanced subhan Allah.

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Assalamu alaikum, You are so right brother dot. It had become a norm among the Muslims to ask for Money and household things from the Brides parents, from small cutlury to cars, Astaghfirullah, to the amount of gold, the higher degree a boy had the parents demanded that much more. This is a custom borrowed from the Hindus, but Alhamdulillah now the gove. of India has banned this custom, still people do it under the table.

 

With the increase of the Work of Dawah, not just Muslims boys but also Hindu boys have started putting their foot down and telling their parents they do not want anything from the bride's side, and girls have also taken a step saying that they would rather stay unmarried then have their parents go through trouble to get them married.

 

Alhamdulillah even though in minority, the situation is better than before, May Allah give people enough sense to realize what a bad custom this is, and how much destruction it is causing to the society.

 

Islamically it is the boy that has to give Mehr of the agreed amount to the bride and that is it.

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:sl:

I would also like to add that in places like India and Pakistan, the bride's family giving dowry to the husband, instead of the other way, is totally a traditional custom / habit, and has nothing to do with Islam. It is against Islamic teachings to do so. It also causes lots of crimes committed by some husbands against the poor wives after marriage, in cases when bride's family fail to pay. Islamic teachings always prove to be wise and balanced subhan Allah.

 

:sl:

 

That's right, I blame it all on the hindu culture, which also influenced the Pakistani culture, sadly.

Well all we can really do is take the good things out the culture and ignore the bad.

Islam is important than any culture anyway.

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