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Salaam Brothers and sisters,

 

I thought I would never been in this position as i have always done everything in my life with the fear of Allah(swt) in my heart and with the guidance of my parents.

 

I can't share this burden with anyone as its not a "Big deal" for my family and friends. So i need your duas and advice on what to do..My engagement broke after 2 months,it was arranged and i only met my finace after we were engaged, he unfortuantely lived in another country and that was the reason for the breakup. i know what happened is best for me. He lied to me and my parents but its so difficult to get over him especially since i practically planned my whole life with him in the 2 months we were engaged. :D

 

 

And just in the last week there has been another proposal and i dont think im ready for it at all. I just cant find peace. :D

 

Prior to engagement i did Istikhara for a week and it came out positive, im just so lost.. :D

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Salaam Brothers and sisters,

 

I thought I would never been in this position as i have always done everything in my life with the fear of Allah(swt) in my heart and with the guidance of my parents.

 

I can't share this burden with anyone as its not a "Big deal" for my family and friends. So i need your duas and advice on what to do..My engagement broke after 2 months,it was arranged and i only met my finace after we were engaged, he unfortuantely lived in another country and that was the reason for the breakup. i know what happened is best for me. He lied to me and my parents but its so difficult to get over him especially since i practically planned my whole life with him in the 2 months we were engaged. :D

And just in the last week there has been another proposal and i dont think im ready for it at all. I just cant find peace. :D

 

Prior to engagement i did Istikhara for a week and it came out positive, im just so lost.. :D

 

 

It seems to me like your Istikhara worked out because Allah s.w.t. showed your family that your fiance was a liar. What most people don't get is that the purpose of istikhara is not to get dreams and instant positive signs, but rather it is to ask Allah s.w.t. for guidance to make the right decision. If I was going to get married and did istikhara I wouldn't expect to get a dream. Even if I did get a dream I wouldn't use that as the sole basis for my decision because as we know shaitan can give people dreams as well. But, after doing istikhara I would rely on Allah s.w.t. to help me make the right decision in the long run.

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salaam

 

Yep - it was for the best that your first proposal broke down...

 

And just in the last week there has been another proposal and i dont think im ready for it at all. I just cant find peace. :D

 

Prior to engagement i did Istikhara for a week and it came out positive, im just so lost.. :D

 

Sister, just take time out and be patient, until you are ready to go ahead with any marriage.....After going through an experience like this it is best to do this....Getting married can be stressful so when you are ready then go ahead, insa'Allah everything will work out for the best....

 

ma sallam

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Salaam Brothers and sisters,

 

I thought I would never been in this position as i have always done everything in my life with the fear of Allah(swt) in my heart and with the guidance of my parents.

 

I can't share this burden with anyone as its not a "Big deal" for my family and friends. So i need your duas and advice on what to do..My engagement broke after 2 months,it was arranged and i only met my finace after we were engaged, he unfortuantely lived in another country and that was the reason for the breakup. i know what happened is best for me. He lied to me and my parents but its so difficult to get over him especially since i practically planned my whole life with him in the 2 months we were engaged. :D

And just in the last week there has been another proposal and i dont think im ready for it at all. I just cant find peace. :D

 

Prior to engagement i did Istikhara for a week and it came out positive, im just so lost.. :D

 

:D Sister

 

Allah's guidance is always true and correct.

 

You did Istikhara, which means you asked asked for Allah's guidance and he has guided you to where you are now.

 

Your finace has shown himself to be a liar, thank Allah that you did not marry him, because by his grace you have been saved from a worse situation. Married to a liar, your parents embarrassed and shame faced, divorce is always messy, and maybe you would have fallen for him and spent years of your loyalty and goodness on someone who would break your heart.

 

Sister please reread what you have put:

 

" so difficult to get over him especially since i practically planned my whole life with him in the 2 months we were engaged. :D "

 

Maybe the other lesson is about your building a whole life on an idea of marriage. We all have dreams and ideas of marriage before we are married, more so women I think, but marriage is a very practical state.

 

I do not say don't have plans and aims but life has twists and turns that none of us can predict, so where we think we are going and where we end up are often two different places.

 

Don't be in a hurry to accept another proposal, you need time to say good bye to those plans and dreams, have a good cry and then start again. It won't take forever.

 

If the man who is proposing is descent then he will understand and wait, if he doesn't want to wait then maybe he is too impatient for you.

 

Remember you asked for Allah's guidance and his guidance is always true and correct.

 

Peace

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And just in the last week there has been another proposal and i dont think im ready for it at all. I just cant find peace. :D

 

:D

 

The solution here is you need to hold your head high and be positive and dont let anything get you. If bad event after event came to us and we were positive for everything then life would be so much more better.

 

Just say, i WILL get better, i WILL feel better, and i DESERVE to feel better because you do.

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Prior to engagement i did Istikhara for a week and it came out positive, im just so lost.. :D

 

:D

 

Think about it as a good thing that the engagement was broken off ( okay i know that's hard to do....). At least you did not find out about his lies and deception after the wedding. I know that this can be an emotionally had situation (i've been through it myself) but with time you will see that it was for the best.

 

I thought I would never been in this position as i have always done everything in my life with the fear of Allah(swt) in my heart and with the guidance of my parents.

 

keep living your life with fear of Allah (swt) and respect for your parents and inshaAllah you will recieve whatever it was you were destined to recieve.

 

 

Tell your parents that you can not consider another proposal now. You need time to heal and get over this one. InshaAllah you can consider this when you have a clearer head.

 

hope it works out well for you.

 

:D

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Jazak_Allah_ Kher for all replies. Reading them has reassured me that what happened was for the best, for myself personally and for my imaan.. :D

 

I am trying so hard to see this as a positive. I have a few concerns that i will share with you all here... I dont think i want to get married, well at least not for a while...at the moment im finding it hard to trust anyone..i feel like i will have this burden for the rest of my life...and how can i be true to someone else?....is there a dua i can do to get rid of these feelings?...

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Another point, I have put on a brave face in front of my family..because i know how dissapointed they were when it broke..so in order to ease the pain on them i tried hard to hide my true feelings..and now with the new proposal they think im ready..how do i explain to them that im not?.. :D

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Another point, I have put on a brave face in front of my family..because i know how dissapointed they were when it broke..so in order to ease the pain on them i tried hard to hide my true feelings..and now with the new proposal they think im ready..how do i explain to them that im not?.. :D

 

:D Sister

 

I would talk to your Mum, remember she loves you and cares for you, tell her that you have been more upset than you have let on. If you explain now before the situation goes further it will save a lot of problems in the future.

 

Remember you have done nothing wrong. So if you are honest and upfront with your parents, they may be a little suprised but they want what is best for you the daughter that they love.

 

Time is a great healer, you will regain your trust in others, it just takes a bit of time.

 

I hope this is some help to you.

 

Peace

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:D

 

I can talk a lot on this but I will quote just a verse :D

 

"Surely in the rememberance of Allah do hearts find rest" Quran Surah Ra'd (13:28)

 

:D

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