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Sister_Ayesha

Non-muslim Parents

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I have a question in How to deal with parents that are non-muslim. I have always talked to my mom a lot but since I reverted it has become hard to talk to her about everything. She doesn't like that I reverted to Islam. My dad doesn't say much about it, mostly he is bothered but the hijab. My mom is bothered with the hijab and she does keep telling me not to wear it. I am trying to get her to understand but it's hard. She has been reading some books about Islam however they are written by non-muslims and have more of a negitive veiw. I want to give her some books but I know if i do that she will think that I'm trying to make her convert, which is not my intention. I would love to see her revert but I know I can't make her. I'm also afraid that it I give her any book our relationship will become worse even through I just want to make it better. I am very confused on what to do. I thought about giving the books to my grandmother, her mother, because she is willing to read them and ask her also to see if my mother will read them also. I'm confused about it and worried because with her not understanding is making our relationship very trying and stressful

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Guest UnderCover_Brother

Assalamu'Alikum,

 

Sister i can't help you much, but to give you support and say "Be Patient".

Insha'Allah good things will come onto those who are patient and have complete trust in Allah(SWT). You can only do what is required of you and leave the rest to the most high.

I will make dua for you and your family, please keep us informed.

 

Fee Amanillah,

Wa'Salam.

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Asalaamu alaykum

 

How are you? First i want to say, May Allah make everything easy for you. I'm probably not the best person to ask but i will try to help since i am a revert aswell as my wife.

The first peice of advice i can say is to make Du'aa, make Du'aa in the Day time and make it in the night time(especially in the night). Increase your voluntary salaat. Also i'm sure your very nice to your parents, but try to be even nicer, go waaay out of your way to do things for them but do not tell them, just do it(trust me a mother will know). When my wife and i got married she wasn't wearing Hijab at first but ONE HER OWN she started to wear it, now she can't believe she didn't wear it before. BUt it took awhile, longer then a year before she wore it infront of her parents as she was so afraid. I can say it was very hard at first for both of them(me too being her husband), but my wife just kept making Du'aa and started to act more kindly to them, spent more time with them(talking, taking a walk down the street etc etc) and her mom noticed after awhile and started to accept her with her hijab. They are still getting used to it but alhamdulillah things are getting easier. Most things don't change over night especially a parent getting used to seeing her daughter in a hijab, it takes time and rememeber Allah is with the one who has Sabr and Dhikr.

 

Also about giving your parents reading material, they might not be ready for it as my wife's parents are not either. Especially of what you said, how its really hard to find a good book that can explain the importance of wearing a hijab to NON-Muslim parents...So just increase your knowledge about the importance of hijab and try to talk to them about it in your own words.

 

Hey maybe you could wright a book about this topic, i'm pretty sure it would be a hot seller as you have experience and from what i think, a born muslim won't beable to as good as a job and somebody who went through this experience.

 

May Allah make you affairs easy...Amin

 

Allah Knows Best

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AlSalamo ALikom

 

May Allah give you peace and be with you all the way.

 

Well, Welcome back to Islam.

 

To start with by taking you Shahada you got a very big family… all Muslims are your brothers and sisters. All of them love and pray Allah to you.

 

I have reverted to Islam many years ago. My family off course disapproved my action and since I am from Middle East and the culture is too strict as well and the societies being such action of revert totally rejected. My relation with my family start to be very formal almost lost the interaction between them. They start to reconsider my situation in the family and off course the first thing which came up to their mind is to let me get married ( arranged marriage) to a Christian man and that’s it.

 

It was difficult to convince them and still difficult.. the issue is not that they some one to introduce Islam to them as they are fully aware about every single point in Islam .. the issue is they don't want.

 

However, it took me long to let them just accepting me as a Muslim member in the family despite they still not approving the announcement of my Islam, or even my marriage of Muslim.

 

The best way I practice with them which I really advice you to follow is:-

 

I have learned from my Islam that I have to be good with. I have treated them with full respect, by time they recognize that I am better to them when I am Muslim than when I am Christian or other else and that Allha in Islam requested me to be good to them… Now they are fully aware that Islam change me to the best and that I will always be good to them as I am committed to my new and lovely religion. By time and as we went through different situation and hard time they always admitted that I am the best among my other 8 brothers and sister and the reason is that I am Muslim.

 

By doing this may be it will click on their mind, what a religion which change her or let her doing this despite of any thing else … may be they will ask or read about Islam … you never know …

 

Just be patient with them, pray Allah to guide them to the truth and Allah's way. Don't give up being good with them even if they are angry, mad or unhappy with you.

 

Allah Bless you

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AlSalamo ALikom

 

May Allah give you peace and be with you all the way.

 

Well, Welcome back to Islam.

 

To start with by taking you Shahada you got a very big family… all Muslims are your brothers and sisters. All of them love and pray Allah to you.

 

I have reverted to Islam many years ago. My family off course disapproved my action and since I am from Middle East and the culture is too strict as well and the societies being such action of revert totally rejected. My relation with my family start to be very formal almost lost the interaction between them. They start to reconsider my situation in the family and off course the first thing which came up to their mind is to let me get married ( arranged marriage) to a Christian man and that’s it.

 

It was difficult to convince them and still difficult.. the issue is not that they some one to introduce Islam to them as they are fully aware about every single point in Islam .. the issue is they don't want.

 

However, it took me long to let them just accepting me as a Muslim member in the family despite they still not approving the announcement of my Islam, or even my marriage of Muslim.

 

The best way I practice with them which I really advice you to follow is:-

 

I have learned from my Islam that I have to be good with. I have treated them with full respect, by time they recognize that I am better to them when I am Muslim than when I am Christian or other else and that Allha in Islam requested me to be good to them… Now they are fully aware that Islam change me to the best and that I will always be good to them as I am committed to my new and lovely religion. By time and as we went through different situation and hard time they always admitted that I am the best among my other 8 brothers and sister and the reason is that I am Muslim.

 

By doing this may be it will click on their mind, what a religion which change her or let her doing this despite of any thing else … may be they will ask or read about Islam … you never know …

 

Just be patient with them, pray Allah to guide them to the truth and Allah's way. Don't give up being good with them even if they are angry, mad or unhappy with you.

 

Allah Bless you

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:D

 

Although it's important to note that we do not worship or ask anything of Maryam, you could point out, to your parents or whoever, that SHE dressed modestly and covered herself as Muslim women do:

fatima_sm.jpg

:D

 

Also, so do nuns (internet nuns too apparently :D )

comp%20nun.jpg

 

I hope these examples will help your parents at least get over that fact that you wear hijab, which is great btw :D

 

:D

AS

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Asalamualaykum,

Hahah I did that to my mom and sister Brother! I took a buncha pictures and I showed em a picture of the "Virgin Mary" and of Mother Tereasa and of Christian brides and jewish women and nuns and just cultural head gear and then I threw in the baseball cap on a female :D

They were actually laughing at the end bout their reactions... my family is a buncha comedians though so I wouldn't assume the same response from someone else's family. It's been 13 months since they first saw me in a scarf at least and they're used of it now.

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