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The Regrets About Her

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Aslam alikum , its nothing to do with my previous post about job

today i am sad , i am happily married and i love my wife , i love her for many many years even before

my marriage , almost 10 years ago there was another girl in my life ,i never love that girl

but she become a very close friend (i understand Islam dont allow these type of friendships)

soon our relation turn into a type of sins and other illegal activities

she was a very poor girl and very religious , she always pray five times a day,

she express her feelings to me ,she knew i wanted to marry other girl (my wife now )

i never promise about marriage to her ,i never loved her and she knew that

but she was a friend ,things continue like that and i married to other girl (my wife )

i left my country with my wife but she never married

she refused lot of good proposals, she is now 23 years old and i strongly believe

she will not marry ,sometimes i think about her and i feel i am responsible for this

(i never wanted this ) now i regret about my past

only time will tell she will marry or not (i dont think so that she will ever accept any proposal)

what will be her faith then ,thats worry me

my wife knows about her and my relation , but she is happily married

she dont know that i regret my relation with her

we both are not bad persons ,this is a very long story how we get into those acts

thanks

Allahhafiz

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PropellerAds

Do dua for her and place your truth in Allah swt. If you ever see her again, you should apologise if you have not already. InshAllah she'll be okay :sl:

Edited by isha

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well i met her during my marriage becoz she came to my marriage and she also knows my wife

infact they are good friends (she dont know that my wife knows about her)

i always appreciate and admire my wife about this becoz she never hate that girl

and she never quit her friendship with her , we were like family friends etc

i asked her to marry now with any other good guy but she did not agreed

and i tried to convince her many times on this point but she didnt agreed and

now its 2 years of my marriage and she is still unmarried

thanks

Allahhafiz

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ÈöÓúãö Çááåö ÇáÑøóÍúãäö ÇáÑøóÍöíãö[using large font size is not allowed]

 

Assalamu Alaikum Warahamtullahi Wabarakatahu,

 

I hate to say it, but that is why Islam provides us with limits and boundaries and you both over stepped them. It seems that you know that and have learnt your lesson. It would be best that you let go of any contact you have with her, if you have not done so already. As advised before you should apologise, but also repent to Allah SWT. You being present in her life will not help her to move on; with the feelings she has for you. It is now up to her what she does, she has to decide to move on and take that step. She knows her duties and responsibilities and when she is ready she will act on them. There is nothing you can do for her but make dua for her. Your wife being a good friend of hers can advise her and give her support as a friend. Let it go and move on, its time she did the same.

Your wife seems very understanding and supportive, you are blessed to have her.

 

Wa Alaikum Mus Salam Warahamtullahi Wabarakatahu

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Salamu alaykum,

well its just past, it will be forgotten. I advice you to not be beside that unmarried girl for a very long time so that she can forget everything and begin her life with a new point of view. If you keep talking to her then she cannot forget about you. You are not responsible of anything, just go away from her for the sake of her. :sl:

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:sl:

 

Your wife's friend needs a guide to support her and help her break out of this blindness. I sincerely think that your wife could have a word with her - explain to her that both of you have moved on too far and have your own problems to deal with (note, you're trying to apply for a good job), so it's better for her that she makes du'aa, seek peace in remembering Allah and accepting a good proposal. Also, for guidance purposes she needs to be referred to some good sisters who can perhaps encourage her in moving on - convince her that there is more to life than being stubborn like this.

 

I overall agree with what sister muzur said, you could lose contact with her for a while and see if she can move on - if not, then let her know your wife has knowledge of this and she will be more than happy to speak with her. Alhamdulillah that your wife is understanding :no:

 

:sl:

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Asalam ailikum , well thanks for every one for there advise , the fact is i am not making any contact with her

,now we are settle in a different country , about my wife and making duawa etc

its two different things , i live in a society which is shocking for me in many ways

there are muslims with no fear of Allah , no fear of halal haram income ,

totally involved in gambling , guys are mostly into drinking etc

girls are mostly into dancing , parties , boy friends , western outfits etc

as Allah stated in Quran , Deaf , Dumb and blind ,i understand this verse now

my wife is too far from Allah and Islam , she is working and have no idea about life

becoz she is part of a very unislamic culture , she is understandable , not into dancing , clubing

but Islam has no place in her life so far , thats the other reason i want to move to my country

so she should get some time and culture near to Islam , here she dont have time to think about

life .but life goes on

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:sl:

well if you can afford to then just marry her too its halal.

prbems solved atleast for a short while?!

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Thats what I was thinking, just marry her or forget about it. Also don't talk about your sins or anyone else's.

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Honestly speaking, you should feel bad...If you knew there is no such thing as friends with benefit in Islam you should have

kept it in your pants. No it's not your average "youtful boboo" because I know how intensely and repeatedly such behavior is prohibited in Islam.. I also don't get how a piest 5 time praying piest women not pull away if you had no intentions to marry her, Or why would she waste her life over a creep like you. But least u get credit for owning up to your mistake. FOr what's it's worth two wives is more trouble then usually imagined...IMO best thing you can do it help her get over you and come as clean as posisble with both women and try to move on.

GL and peace

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Assalamu alaikum, I am confused here, you say your wife is very nice and understanding and all, and then you say she is far from Allah and Islam, Okay, a person can be good even without believing in Allah, I can understand that part, but what I do not understand is the girl from your past accepts that you are married and have a wife and a new life now, and your wife knows about it, so what's the problem?

 

YOU ARE FEELING GUILTY THAT SHE IS NOT MARRYING ANYONE, well, it will pobably take some time, there are many 23 year olds that are not married yet, inshaAllah she will marry when the time is right, so leave her alone, go on with your life and live it, instead of opening a can of worms.

 

From what you said you had the relationship with this girl 10 years ago, and now she is 23, that means at that time she was 13, hmmm, you should have know better than to use a young girl in that way.

 

Please leave her alone now and get on with your life, make Astaghfaar and ask Allah for forgiveness, and make duaa for her, but please leave her alone.

 

Sorry for being a bit harsh, but it really hurts when little girls are manipulated like this.

 

Salaams.

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:sl:

 

she refused lot of good proposals, she is now 23 years old and i strongly believe

she will not marry ,sometimes i think about her and i feel i am responsible for this

(i never wanted this ) now i regret about my past

If you know a good pious single brother, maybe you & your wife can introduce him to her (in Islamic way)? As said by Aunty UmAhmad above, there are 1001 reasons why she is still not married yet. And you can't be sure about the specific reasons why she refused all those good proposals. Even if it is because she's still thinking of you, she obviously needs to move on with her own life, as you are too.

 

Or you are thinking about taking a second wife and need some sort of justification?

 

Wassalam,

Y

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