Jump to content
Islamic Forum
Sign in to follow this  
turnipgirl

So What Do Yo All Think?

Recommended Posts

Asalamu alikium

 

before I get to my question I probrably should give some background so that everything can be understood fully.

 

I am a recent revert (May 10th), before I reverted I specifically asked if I could be muslim since my husband is agnostic (he believes in God alone but not in organized religion). I was told it was fine as long as he did not beleive in false gods or atribute partners and as long as he was fine with me praticing and all that goes along with it and raising out three children as muslim.

 

After I discussed all this with my hubby- he was perectly fine with all the changes and though that it would be benificial to the kids. In fact he is the one who urged me to take my shahada.

 

My hubby is the one who reminds me of things if I forget and wakes me up at dawn, and supports my change of dress and everything.

 

However, every since I took my shahada there have been people telling me that I must destroy my family immediatly because my hubby is not muslim and if I stay I will go to hell. The whole reason I started to look was to protect and save my family- and to hear this- well, you can imagine.

 

Also the same people who tell me that i must divorce my hubby (who has done nothing wrong and supports my religion) then tell me in the next breath that I cannot remain unmarried with and that being married is part of my deen. marrying someone else is a revolting idea to me and even if for some reason my hubby turned into a dragon or a toad or whatever- i still would never be able to marry another man- its just way too gross to me personally.

 

ok, now back to my question- I came across this hadith from Bukari (sp?) where it says that as long as I practice my religion I will go to heaven- even if I commit adultery (which is what these peopel say I am doing every minute I stay with my husband.)

 

Volume 2, Book 23, Number 329:

 

Narrated Abu Dhar:

 

Allah's Apostle said, "Someone came to me from my Lord and gave me the news (or good tidings) that if any of my followers dies worshipping none (in any way) along with Allah, he will enter Paradise." I asked, "Even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse (adultery) and theft?" He replied, "Even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse (adultery) and theft."

 

 

so what do you all think?

 

thanks everyone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds

:D

 

I am not the best to answer this and I highly recommend asking a qualified scholar on this matter. However I don't mind giving you my incite on this matter.

 

Allah is the most-merciful, the most-forgiving. Allah is so forgiving that he can forgive all sins, every last one of them except if one "associates partners" with Allah, therefore Allah will deal with them on the Day of Judgement.

 

No one has a right to tell you that you will be going to hell, as they need to look at themselves first. However there is no guarantee to paradise either. A guarantee may come when one has truly in their heart pronounced the shahada and takes the shahada as their pillar of faith, it is the lifeline practically in the sense that you become so serious about it that you would not want to dissapoint Allah in anyway and it usually does not happen overnight. In fact all of us whether reverts or raised into Islam should take this matter seriously.

 

You may wish to read about some of the great women (may Allah be pleased with them) during the time of the Prophet :D as some of them had issues such as yours, but when they had Islam in their life, they did not hesitate when it came to obeying Allah and his Messenger :D and they gave their husbands a choice, whether come to Islam the straight path or not to share the same bed with them.

 

A strong suggestion sister is to ask Allah to guide your Husband to the straight path with pure sincerity, into Islam for it is only Allah that can guide, no one else can.

 

I'm sure there are some good sites out there with good information, you can take a look at Shaykh Yusuf Estes's website and even send him an e-mail regarding this matter Insh'Allah. The website should be:

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.islamtomorrow(contact admin if its a beneficial link)"]Islam Today[/url]

 

May Allah be with you and guide your husband to the straight path.

 

Fahid

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, but dont count on it. making a mistake and being sorry for it is one thing, insisting on it even if you know it is forbidden is another.

 

I cant make fatwa becouse I'm not eligble for such. However, I think you should see if there is any hope of him becomeing a muslim in the future. if there is, then try staying but sleep in seperate bedrooms. if not, I'm afraid the rulling is too clear to try and go around it. Even if you believe in God, no one has the right to "make up" his own religion.

 

good luck with whatever you choose, but remember that your choice is what you will be jugded for before God one day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

walaykum salaam wrwb

 

i don't know sis, but i pray it all goes well for you and that your husband embraces Islam one day as well. it's good that he believes in One God, but doesn't he believe that God would send down Guidance for his people? without organised religion, people can just follow their desires if they want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:D

 

Sister, very happy to learn that you have reverted recently. Welcome and Mabrook! There is a section in which new reverts write about their experiences resulting in the reversion. Please write something there.

 

As for your question, it is a difficut one. Your options are even more difficult. It is true that a number of ladies who reverted to Islam left their husbands during the early days of Islam. I fact, a daughter of Rasool Allah :D left her husband and migrated to Madinah. After a few months, her husband also reverted and migrated.

 

But some scholars believe that there is a time in which the couple can live together, not as husband and wife, and then decide on the husband reverting or separating.

 

As for your love for your husband, there is a theological question that needs to be considered by you. Do you love him more, or do you love Allah :D more. If the former, your eeman is not as strong as it should be. We all pray that Allah :D strngthens our eeman to a level where we love Him more than even ourselves. If the latter, the choice becomes simple.

 

Most of all pray that your husband sees the Truth and accepts Islam as his religion. A very apt statement has come from the Pope in Germanyyesterday. He has talked against secular thinking and the DIY type religion. Unorganised religion is related to both.

 

Wassalam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Volume 2, Book 23, Number 329:

 

Narrated Abu Dhar:

 

Allah's Apostle said, "Someone came to me from my Lord and gave me the news (or good tidings) that if any of my followers dies worshipping none (in any way) along with Allah, he will enter Paradise." I asked, "Even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse (adultery) and theft?" He replied, "Even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse (adultery) and theft."

so what do you all think?

 

thanks everyone

 

Sure whoever worships Allah alone can enter Paradise, even he who commits adultery, but it's meant that the person who repents that sin and has the niah (intention) while repenting never to do it again, Allah is the Forgiver. But you can't repent and keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I mean if you ask Allah's forgiveness and you know that you you'll commit the same sin again, it kind of makes it null and void doesn't it.

 

I think you'd be better off if your husband accepted Islam. It is forbidden for a Muslim woman to be married to a non-Muslim man, no matter how accepting he is of your religion.

 

Allah make this clear and easy for you and bring your husband to Islam sister... Amien!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:D

 

I do hope that our members refrain from giving their own thinking when it comes to answering sharia questions.

 

Sister turnipgirl, I've found you this ruling, which insha'Allah addresses your cases perfectly:

 

According to the four main schools of jurisprudence, it is forbidden for the wife to remain with her husband, or indeed to allow him conjugal rights, once her period of waiting has expired. However, some scholars see that it is for her to remain with him, allowing him to enjoy full conjugal rights, if he does not prevent her from exercising her religion and she has hope in him to revert to Islam. The reason for this is to consider the case of women who would find it difficult to embrace Islam with the condition of being separated from their husbands and deserting their families. Those scholars based their view upon the ruling of `Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, in the case of the woman from Al-Heera who reverted to Islam while her husband remained on his religion. According to the authentic narration of Yazeed ibn `Abdullah Al-Khatmi, `Umar ibn Al-Khattab made it optional for the woman to leave her husband or to stay with him. They also cite, in supporting their view, the opinion of `Ali ibn Abi Talib concerning the Christian woman who embraced Islam while still married to a Christian or a Jew. Ali said that her husband’s conjugal right was still inalienable, as he had a contract. This is also an authentic narration. It is also known that Ibrahim Al-Nakha`i, Ash-Shi`bi and Hammad ibn Abi Sulayman had the same view.

Read the full ruling (www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.islamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545970"]Here[/url]

 

So, since he doens't prevent you from practicing, but even encourages you, and if you have hope that he reverts in the future, that ruling states that you can stay with your hubby :D

 

There are other fatwas that totally prohibit that, but in Islam you can choose to follow whichever fatwa is easier for you. Islam is not a religion of hardship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamu alaykum.

 

Mabrook on your conversion. As far as whether you have to leave your husband, here's a fatwa:

 

What is the ruling about remaining in a marriage when the wife has become a Muslim but her husband is still a kaafir? She has children with him and is afraid that they may go astray and be lost, and she hopes that her husband may be guided to Islam if she stays with him.

 

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

As soon as a woman embraces Islam and her husband refuses to do likewise, the marriage is annulled and it is not permissible for her to live with him. But she should wait out the length of the ‘iddah period. If he embraces Islam, she may go back to him and the previous marriage contract is still counted as valid, but if he does not embrace Islam before the ‘iddah is over, then they are no longer married. If he subsequently embraces Islam and they want to get back together, a new marriage contract must be drawn up. It is not permissible to continue the marriage on the basis of being kind to him.

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=1826&dgn=4"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...e&QR=1826&dgn=4[/url]

 

As far as marrying someone else, I don't know of anything that says that any muslim, male or female, must get married right away. We are encouraged to marry, but we shouldn't be hasty......especially after getting out of another relationship. I'll see if I can find any info about that, Insha'Allah.

 

Assalamu alaykum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamu alaykum.

 

I have linked two fatwas from Islamqa.com. Neither of them say that you HAVE to get married unconditionally. What they both say is that it's obligatory if you fear that you will sin (i.e. fornicate) if you don't marry or if you have a longing to get married. Otherwise, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED since it is beneficial, both to the individual and to the ummah.

 

Here's a quote from one of them:

 

Marriage is obligatory on anyone who is single and committing sin such as looking or kissing. If a man or women knows or thinks it most likely that if he does not get married he will commit zinaa – or whatever comes under the same rulings or is similar to it, such as masturbation, then marriage is obligatory.

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=5511&dgn=4"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...e&QR=5511&dgn=4[/url]

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=1665&dgn=4"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...e&QR=1665&dgn=4[/url]

 

Insha'Allah, this helps.

May Allah (swt) guide all of the Muslims. Ameen.

 

Assalamu alaykum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So, since he doens't prevent you from practicing, but even encourages you, and if you have hope that he reverts in the future, that ruling states that you can stay with your hubby :D

 

 

Al salam alikum,

Al hamdu lillah! thank God for his mercy and kindness.

You have noo idea how happy I am to hear this. I have been praying for the past few days for God to help out all our muslim borthers and sisters with there hardships, I KNEW there was going to be a way in Islam to preserve love.

 

Congradulations sister! and I wish you, the hubby and your childreen a blessed and great life...eeek I'm soo happy for you!!!!! :D

 

Al salam alikum! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×