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wiseguy

I Need Your Advice About Marriage

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Assalamulaikum sisters and brothers in Islam and greeting to non-Muslims,

 

Let me intorduce myself: I am a professional and an educated mixed-blooded Muslim man of Arab descent and people say that I am a good looking man ...Praise be to Allah! Someday I hope that I will marry a good Muslim woman without lavish wedding because I believe that Islam encourages us to be moderate. In the Qur'an, Almighty Allah says: "Thus have We made of you a Middle Ummah, that you might be witnesses over the people, and the Messenger a witness over yourselves…" (al-Baqarah: 143)

 

"Say: “O People of the Book! Make no excess in your religion, trespassing beyond the truth, nor follow the vain desires of people who went wrong in times gone by, who misled many, and strayed (themselves) from the even Way." (al-Ma’idah: 77)

 

Muslims are called Ummatan Wasatan. The commentators of the Qur’an explain the word “wasat” as “justly balanced”, “the best (khiyar or khayr)”. (see al-Tabari, al-Qurtubi, Ibn Kathir etc.) Yusuf Ali says: “The essence of Islam is to avoid all extravagances on either side. It is a sober, practical religion.” (note 143 on 2:143)

 

Allah has made this Ummah a moderate Ummah. Muslims have to follow the middle path, the path that has no extremes or excesses.

 

My question is: In which country can I find and marry a good Muslim woman without lavish wedding? I hope you would be pleased to advise me. Your advice, opinion, guidance etc are highly appreciated. Thank you very much.

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PropellerAds

Assalamu Alaikum brother ######,

Culture and the type of woman you choose will determine what kind of marriage you have. InshaAllah, if you select a woman based on her religion and manners, then you'll find that she is the best choice. A woman who is conscious of the aakhirah will more than likely be less "lavish" in her ways and may be more simple.

 

I've seen lavish weddings from those of the Gulf and those of Egypt and the Sudan. I've seen more moderate weddings of Muslims in America! The country a woman is from won't make a difference. It'll be the woman you choose. So make sure you do an istikharah (or many if you need), make duaa that Allah taala gives you what's best for you and one who is not all about materialism, and inshaAllah you'll be granted what's best for you.

 

This is a bit off subject but it's just about praying for it all when you want a wife...

I've heard some silly men say that they want a pretty woman, not a religious one. You can have both! A religious woman can be pretty LOL! So make duaa for one that's pious, with beautiful manners and one who is outwardly beautiful if that's important to you.

 

May Allah grant you a pious and wonderful wife!

 

Peace and blessings brother!

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W/salam sister Luv2Learn,

 

Thank you very much for your good advice and dua' (prayer). I appreciate them very much. May Allah bless, reward, protect and guide your family and you for your good deeds in this world and hereafter....Ameen.

 

May Allah grant you a pious and wonderful husband!

 

Peace and blessings sister!

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:sl:

 

My question is: In which country can I find and marry a good Muslim woman without lavish wedding? I hope you would be pleased to advise me. Your advice, opinion, guidance etc are highly appreciated. Thank you very much.

Wow, that's great Bro. Hope you'll find what you are looking for and complete half your deen. I second all what Sister luv2learn said. And the country is irrelevant ... a good, humble, modest Muslim woman exists in any country.

 

Wassalam,

Y

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:sl:

 

Our dear sister Luv2Learn has said it all - need I say more?

 

Make du'aa' brother, May Allah grant you a pious wife, who will be your source of comfort and will assist you in achieving the best of both worlds. Ameen

 

:sl:

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Assalamu Alaikum Br. ######, May Allah help you in your quest to marry a beautiful pious Muslimah in a Islamic Marriage Ceremony as simple and as close to the Marriage of Ali RadiAllahu Anhu and Fatima RadiAllahu Anha.

 

 

You can have a Wedding close to the Sunnah as possible anywhere in the world, as long as you do not compromise. There are lavish weddings happening through out the world then there are simple ones too. It all depends how strong you come out. if you want a simple wedding, then you should be ready to face a lot of criticism starting with your own family and then the family of the Girl you are planning to marry. InshaAllah when these two families think in similar lines, then things become easy and possible.

 

In other words, you have to put your foot down in a wise way, and tell everyone, this is what I want and this is how it's going to be, explain to the family the benefits of a simple wedding, and the wisdom behind it and tell them this is what will make you happy, if not you will not be happy, even though it will be your wedding, InshaAllah that logic could work.

 

Here is what my Husband always tells when he stresses on simplicity and doing things according to Sunnah, specially where Weddings are concerned:

NO MATTER HOW LAVISHILY WE HAVE OUR CHILDRENS WEDDINGS DONE, OUR SONS ARE NO BETTER THAN ALI RADIALLAHU ANHU AND OUR DAUGHTER WILL NOT BECOME BETTER THAN FATIMA RADIALLAHU ANHA.

 

Assalamu Alaikum, umAhmad.

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Assalamu Alaikum!

 

Bro ######, ameen to your duaa's bro.. Alhamduillah I was blessed to be granted with a wonderful pious man as a husband and have been married for 10 years!

 

Khala Umahmad is RIGHT on. You will have to be prepared for a lot of criticism but you must know what you want and conduct your affairs that way.

 

The closest people / family often have the greatest objections and can not pictue a simple wedding, or one without mixing, music, or dancing. Even if you have to let some close people down, if your reasons for simplicity are so that you don't do that which displeases Allah Almighty, then by all means keep it simple and don't give in. You might encounter some problems but if you and your spouse to be stand your grand, inshaAllah things will work out simply!

 

One practical benefit of starting out with a simple wedding is that you don't put yourself in debt for years just for the "enjoyment' of one night! I'd explain that I'd want the simplicity so that Allah taala could bless my marriage. I'd want to start off on the right foot.

 

Peace and blessings!

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I hope for you the best of luck in your search

 

and I hope also that you find a woman of a higher quality than tech diver, who seems to have the hots for you

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Ha, he is human.

 

Best of luck to you ######. For the record I think it is admirable that you are choosing a modest ceremony. Stipping many of the superficialities from your wedding will only increase the focus on your love for that special someone, who ever that may be.

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Assalamualaikum sister Luv2Learn, Aamina, and umAhmad and brother Yasnov and greeting to brother seacow and Russ of Vespucci,

 

Thank you very much for your sincere advice and good wishes and I really appreciate them very much. I am lucky and feel so happy to have caring sisters and brothers like you all. Praise be to Allah.

 

To the Muslim sisters and brother, May Allah reward, guide, protect bless and love you for your good deeds....Ameen.

 

To brother seacow and Russ of Vespucci, I sincerely and truly hope someday you will become my brothers in Islam. Allah willing.

 

Assalamu Alaikum Br. ######, May Allah help you in your quest to marry a beautiful pious Muslimah in a Islamic Marriage Ceremony as simple and as close to the Marriage of Ali RadiAllahu Anhu and Fatima RadiAllahu Anha.

 

W/salam sister umAhmad ,

 

I hope that you would be pleased to share the true story above with us. Thank you.

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Wedding In Islam

 

By Shaykh Maulana Saleem Dhorat

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetcentral-mosque(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/fiqh/Wedding.htm"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetcentral-mosque(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/fiqh/Wedding.htm[/url]

 

Wedding Of Faatimah (Radhiyallaahu Anha)

Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

 

When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.

 

Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'

 

The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'

 

So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).

 

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

 

When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali's (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.

 

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

 

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.

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Assalamu Alaikum, Sorry I did'nt see this thread for some time, and I am glad Br. ###### that you posted the story. This is one of my alltime favourite TRUE STORY.

 

Let me tell you, if you want, inshaAllah you can have a wedding not exactly the same, but close to it, if you are determined and have the support of your parents and the other side in your ideas. SO WHEN IS THE BIG DAY????

 

Assalamu Alaikum.

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