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To The Sisters Out There....

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:D

OMG LOL hahahaha if someone approached me in person I'd probably die on the spot and if someone handed me their number as bro Luffy was saying, I'd most likely throw it away and probably not say anything to my parents...

 

:D bro if you know who her dad is, you could possibly contact him and let him know your interested... or maybe instead ask her who her dad is...

 

DEFINITELY I would want to be approached through a family member, my father :D and thats the way they would want it to happen too...

 

They probably would freak if they knew a muslim guy came up to me or just asked me to marry him...

 

Allahu alam

And erm whats wrong with makeup? LOL. unless she was plastered in the stuff.

as bro luffy said sister, its who you wear it in front of! Its haram to wear it out in public.

 

Allahu alam

:D

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I guess some sisters wouldn't mind being approached first, as they can "vet" the candidate before forwarding the guys parent's number to her parents.

 

No, approaching the father direct can be awkward, he may think you've been "seeing" his daughter. You need an elder to approach them.

 

My sister was approached by someone and he wanted to go for a walk with her and discuss things, marriage etc. She was quite freaked out. She informed a member of staff and they accompanied her home. My method is different in that it's your parents/imam's number and you say it's for her parents, no extra chit-chat, and you just leave.

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But I guess slowly it doesn't matter anymore. Whether you get married or not.

 

 

essalamu alikum

 

Not good to think like that brother, insha Allah u'll find a pious muslimah that wouldnt bother about family issues. U'll have your time.

 

essalamu alikum

Edited by mm_ca04

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Assalamu alaikum

 

Too much time spent thinking about it, just waste of brain power. I don't want to think about my marriage issues anymore or anyone elses, like my older sister's.

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:D

 

Be wary of the Shaitan, who will twist your mind to think a sin is acceptable for you.

 

I wouldn't recommend deliberately checking out women, even if you consider your intentions to be clean. What can this method show you anyway, that a sister is wearing Hijab? Her features? It's a violation which comes under adultery of the eyes.

 

You'll know nothing of their personality, compatibility or even piety. Hijab is no more an indication of Iman, than a beard on a brother!

 

 

This isn't even considering the sister may already be married! Or not seeking marraige.

How annoyed would you be if someone approached your wife with an offer of marraige?

I know if someone dropped a note on my sister, I'd feel inclined to kidnap the lunatic!

 

But seriously, it isn't a wise course of action, to approach total strangers in this way.

Maybe you have information of a sister who's looking to get married, that's something to consider.

 

 

I'm the last person who should be giving marraige tips, considering how old I'm getting! :D

Let it be known in your community that you are looking, make Duas, pray Salaat and Fast.

:D Allah :D will find you a good partner and raise you both among the mu'meneen on the Day of Judgement. :D

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:D

 

Jazakallah khair brother Shagird. Very wise advice. :D

 

I was also thinking about that, what if you propose to a woman who is married..

 

Ameen to the dua.

Edited by mm_ca04

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Assalamu alaikum

 

Well from the looks of things, there isn't a much of a community.

 

I wouldn't recommend deliberately checking out women, even if you consider your intentions to be clean. What can this method show you anyway, that a sister is wearing Hijab? Her features? It's a violation which comes under adultery of the eyes.

 

Look, it's not meant to be a proposal. Have you read the prevous posts? It's to see if she appears ok enough to inquire about marriage. Yes she might be married or not looking, then khalas, finished. It may or may not be about looks, especially if she is wearing niqab. You can also see if she is wearing makeup, wearing perfume, how she acts with men around her. Yes, even niqabi's misbehave or wear niqab, but tight trousers, etc.

 

You are allowed to look at a woman without her permission for marriage. The only person who knows your intention is Allah and you.

 

Knowing her personality, references, the rest of it, will come in the next investigation when your parents starts talking. And if that works out, THEN you propose.

 

Ameen to the dua.

 

I'm sort of apprehensive about the whole marriage thing. Too much politics, culture etc.

 

tbc

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:D

 

Jazakallah khair brother Shagird. Very wise advice. :D

 

I was also thinking about that, what if you propose to a woman who is married..

 

Ameen to the dua.

 

 

HELLO IT'S NOT A PROPOSAL!

 

I REPEAT

 

IT'S NOT A PROPOSAL!

 

have you read the previous posts.

 

Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah

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:D

lol bro just try your method out on som1 who wears a niqab, on the note dont just write a nummber but add a little note, add some relevent Islamic quote too so she wont chuck it away immediatly. but dont do this with sisters who only wear hijab do it with sistas with niqab only.

 

if it dont work then scarp the idea for another 1.

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:D

 

lol.. I'd read the Islamic quote, but once I get to the part with the number, I'll toss it. :D

 

Sorry brother Luffy... I really am.

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If someone throws it away cause they are married then that's fine, if they are not looking then that's fine. But it is not right to think that it is wrong or haram to give your parent's number, as you would not be asking her for a date or to be alone with her. You are looking for marriage which is a sunna, not the fitna of dating.

 

If she is looking to get married and her parents know she is, then it makes it easy and is less suspicious, if she's not looking (for marriage but decides after getting the number) and suddenly brings up this contact, her parents might think something was "going on". So the note or discusion you have with her, should include that if her parents would get suspicisous if she gave the number, then throw it away or if she wanted give to her relative who could approach her parents.

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1. Find girl.

2. Buy flowers.

3. Buy chocolates.

4. Practice Singing.

5. Collect stones.

6. Throw stones at girl's bedroom window (make sure window is double glazed...if not, find a different girl. Wouldnt want to marry a girl without double glazing..would ya?)

7. Girl checks to see what is happening, looks out of window.

8. Start to sing ur heart out...add plenty of emotion for affect. If you could take some guitar lessons b4 hand, it'll help.

9. Girl, complete with mascara dripping down her tear-filled face runs towards you.

10. You propose. she says yes.

 

Ideally, you should try this on a night when people are likely to light fireworks....guy fawkes night, independence day...heck, even diwali!

 

Claim that you organised the fireworks for her, hopefully she'll be too emotional to realise that said fireworks are actally due to independece day/guy fawkes/diwali.

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Alternate Ending

 

9. Girl, shocked, calls her father/brother.

10. Father/Brother looks for his cricket/baseball bat.

11. Comes out and beats the living snot out of you.

12. Meanwhile, girl calls police.

13. You get arrested for harrasment, spend the night in a cell.

 

 

Either way, it'll be a fun evening.

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Asalaam Alikum

 

Brohter Luffy, it seems we are both in the boat. May Allah grant us the Muslimah of our dreams sooner rather than later.

 

Salaam

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:D

 

Asalaam Alikum

 

Brohter Luffy, it seems we are both in the boat. May Allah grant us the Muslimah of our dreams sooner rather than later.

 

Salaam

 

 

:D to that brother................ :D

 

:D

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:D

 

I think the best way that I would like someone to go about it, is either through some other female they know who I know, eg sister, cousin etc. Get them to approach me say so and so is interested to get to know you for marriage, and I'll go ok tell him here's my dad/bro's number call them and we'll set up a meeting. If he's willing to go straight to my dad or even worse my brother he's worth considering. If he approached me face to face, I'd just be in shock proabably give him a hard cold look and walk off, defence would be up.

 

Either that or just go straight to one of my family members.

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Asalaamu alaikum,

 

A question sort of related to the topic: I know that the Prophet (SAW) told us that the first quality to look for in a partner is deen, and then things like wealth and family. Was physical attraction one of those things?

 

If so, that leads to my next question: if you're talking with a family to get married to a girl who wears niqab, is it permissible to look on her face at least once to get an idea of what she looks like? Just curious...

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Asalaamu alaikum,

 

A question sort of related to the topic: I know that the Prophet (SAW) told us that the first quality to look for in a partner is deen, and then things like wealth and family. Was physical attraction one of those things?

 

If so, that leads to my next question: if you're talking with a family to get married to a girl who wears niqab, is it permissible to look on her face at least once to get an idea of what she looks like? Just curious...

 

Asalaamu alaikum,

 

Sorry, I misquoted:

 

Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

 

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

 

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Yes, you can and should look at the potential spouse before marriage. Why would you think otherwise? Especially sisters need to look at the brother before marriage, as he can give divorce easier than she can (she has to get an anullment).

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:D

 

Yes, one of the instances where a woman can reveal her face is in the case of a man wanting to propose marriage.

 

"It is permitted for a woman to uncover her face and hands in front of a man who wants to propose to her, so that he may see them, without being alone with her and without touching her, because the face gives an indication of ugliness or beauty, and the hands give an indication of whether the body is slender or plump (which in turn gives an impression about fertility)."

(www.)"http://%27http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=2198&dgn=4%27"]Source[/url]

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Assalamu alaikum

 

Look, it's not meant to be a proposal. Have you read the prevous posts? It's to see if she appears ok enough to inquire about marriage. Yes she might be married or not looking, then khalas, finished. It may or may not be about looks, especially if she is wearing niqab. You can also see if she is wearing makeup, wearing perfume, how she acts with men around her. Yes, even niqabi's misbehave or wear niqab, but tight trousers, etc.

 

You are allowed to look at a woman without her permission for marriage. The only person who knows your intention is Allah and you.

 

:D

 

Luffy bro, my previous post was a general thought on what I was reading in this thread. I'm sorry if you felt it was directed at you!

 

If I recall, you've just started university?

Stay active within the Islamic society and take part in their events :D

 

Along with helping your Iman, you'll be a part of the 'network' and able to flag yourself as a prospective partner.

I don't want to make it sound like a marraige club, or even encourage free mixing! Though it's not uncommon for marraiges to be fixed this way.

 

It's one of the things, I sometimes regret not doing at uni. Now it's even harder to make contact.

 

 

Bro Chrism! Make plans to move to a Muslim populated area, :D it will benefit you alot and you'll have a better chance of finding a match.

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:D

 

I've heard of a bro approaching a sister's family and being rejected outright because his job isn't good enough, or he doesn't have a "respectable degree", and other trivial matters.
Why is this trivial? If brother is not financially okay, he will have a harder time now to support 2 people from 1.. this is the main reason why most of the younger (read less than 25) brothers get rejected. i'd advise the brothers to be independent (i.e. able to support himself +1) before they think of marriage.

 

This often eminates into a struggle between a sister who is after a brother with strong Imaan and Taqwa, and the family, who want someone who is seen to be successful in their community
It is not a question of success or failure but they care about their daughter to have a fairly good life with little hardships..

 

Yes i do know some people race after degrees because its supposed to be more prestige but these people are doing it for the wrong reason and we are not supposed to be proud in Islam anyway so these people are contradicting themselves.

 

Anywayz my point is it is not trivial as you put it for someone to be rejected because hes not doing well financially.. its actually a big reason!

 

Dare I even ask the married sisters' here about their husband's education etc before their wali agreed to it ?? <<this question needn't be answered :D.. its only meant for you to think about!>>

 

:D

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:D

 

Bro Hasib,

 

The reason I related to the above scenario as "trivial" is because, in my experience (and this is all I can base my opinion on, as it's what I've lived through) it is not due to the person's financial position per se, but more the prestige of their degree, whether they have a PhD, (even though this may not have greatly affected their income), whether they are in an "honourable job", and what would the neighbours think etc...

 

This is the approach I'm challenging.

 

I completely take on board your points about financial stability, and I do agree with what you say, but this was not my point. :D

 

I've seen a few instances where to be quite frank, the parents couldn't care less whether the "prospective" even prayed 5 times a day. For me this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Again, bear in mind that I'm speaking about problems in my community which may not necessarily translate as the same as those in other communities.

 

Yes i do know some people race after degrees because its supposed to be more prestige but these people are doing it for the wrong reason and we are not supposed to be proud in Islam anyway so these people are contradicting themselves.

 

Again I completely agree that this is not the Islamic way :D, but this does not mean that we are rid of this type of attitude in our communities. Infact, far from it!

 

Its just that I personally see too much of this descrimination, which I think needs to be challenged. :D

 

Jazakallahu khayr for your comments.

 

Ma'a Salaama

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:D

 

Luffy bro, my previous post was a general thought on what I was reading in this thread. I'm sorry if you felt it was directed at you!

 

If I recall, you've just started university?

Stay active within the Islamic society and take part in their events :D

 

Along with helping your Iman, you'll be a part of the 'network' and able to flag yourself as a prospective partner.

I don't want to make it sound like a marraige club, or even encourage free mixing! Though it's not uncommon for marraiges to be fixed this way.

 

 

No, I've finished uni and am working and live on my own. And am able to financially support a wife. At uni I wasn't able to support a wife and didn't have my own place, so there was no point looking.

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:D

 

Bro Hasib,

 

The reason I related to the above scenario as "trivial" is because, in my experience (and this is all I can base my opinion on, as it's what I've lived through) it is not due to the person's financial position per se, but more the prestige of their degree, whether they have a PhD, (even though this may not have greatly affected their income), whether they are in an "honourable job", and what would the neighbours think etc...

 

I sort of agree with this as well, having a good "status" job. My uncle is reluctant to help me find someone because of that, even though at least two other brothers in similar jobs got married and one has a child on the way inshallah.

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