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Assalam-u-Alaikum

I know this revert brother who reverted to Islam from atheism some 8 years ago. Currently we are discussing the prospect of marriage Alhamdulillah. I am considering him since in my opinion he is a good muslim and has the potential to be better InshaAllah. His family is non-muslim. He says that he does not wish to break the ties of kinship and hence has to go to family gatherings where everyone else is drinking but he is having orange juice. :-) As a practising muslimah, i will have huge problems attending such gatherings. But I still want to consider him b/c he has a lot of potential. So most likely after marriage i won't be going to such occasions at all niether would i allow my kids to. And Inshaallah, I will help him make changes in his environment at his own pace.

So any ideas what this brother should do? I mean should he not go to such occasions at all when he does not feel like its the good thing to do? Currenty he feels it will be selfish to cut them out of his life b/c of his religion. Kindly give some advice. If there are any revert brothers and sisters here kindly let me know how you dealt with similar situations?

Thanks

take care

Assalam-u-Alaikum

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PropellerAds

Assalamu alikum

 

Is it possible to maintain kin-relationships without going to such events?

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:D

 

Yeah, you could ask him to go to see his family by all means, but not to attend gatherings with Alcohol and the such, and maybe he could also request his family to respect him being a Muslim and not drink whilst he is there? I mean, its not as if he'll be there for long anyway right? So that shouldn't be a problem and Insha'Allah you could also go along with him to see his family from time to time, make both of you feel more comfortable. But sister, I wouldn't say you won't let BOTH your future kids go to see his family :D even if there was Alcohol there, coz he would Insha'Allah be their father too and he would like his family to meet them etc, it may hurt him if you were to say it like that.

 

First try the suggestion of requesting his family to not drink whilst you're both there. :D Then see what he says and what happens, Insha'Allah.

 

:D

Eliza

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Assalamu alikum

thanks for your replies, some quick thoughts.

 

Is it possible to maintain kin-relationships without going to such events?

 

Well everything is possible, blood is thicker then water, but in my opinion it would do a huge amount of damage to the relationship.

 

Yeah, you could ask him to go to see his family by all means, but not to attend gatherings with Alcohol and the such, and maybe he could also request his family to respect him being a Muslim and not drink whilst he is there? I mean, its not as if he'll be there for long anyway right? So that shouldn't be a problem

 

I don't think so, 30 persons stopping to drink because of the believes of one person. They are pretty western-minded (in other words secular).

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Here's a poem that expresses how I feel regarding the matter

:D

 

Prayer of Jihad

Once I wanted to fly away to a far off land

Where there are no pain and sorrows.

 

I pretend it’s unreal, that it al happens not.

Turn around and keep dreaming, cannot see any blood.

Let there not be any stains on this most perfect cloth.

 

But being once with the bleeding, I can still feel their pain.

Offer help ‘cause they need it, let no life be in vain.

 

Laugh and smile with such great easy yet inside they are rot.

Once down that road, what I saw there, how I wish I had forgot.

But I do remember this past life and I am thankful to God.

 

So I reach out a hand in this boiling red pool.

Let me be a brave hero, not this ordinary fool.

Let me not fall over details, let me not choke on a rule

 

Inshallah I shall be forgiven, for not always finding a way.

At least I tried as I believe in, on the end of the day.

 

By Steve.

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Assalamu'Alikum,

 

Our prophet(SWS) said not to sit on a table where there is people drinking Alcohol.

 

Fee Amanillah,

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I don't think so, 30 persons stopping to drink because of the believes of one person. They are pretty western-minded (in other words secular).

 

:D

 

It is possible. I had friends whom respected my religion and did not drink whilst I was around them, not only that, some of them so far as to not smoke in my presence! So its not impossible, being 'western-minded' doesn't mean you don't have respect!!!

 

:D

Eliza

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