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Family Planning

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Assalamu alaikum

 

Is it ok to delay having children till you are more financialy stable? Such that you don't have to ask people for money and avoid having to seek haram means?

 

Is it ok to delay having children till say e.g. 2 years after marriage, in that two years you get to know eachother and spend time together, building a solid marital base?

 

What about spacing children? Should you be having children every year??? Is it ok to have a gap of like 3-4-5 years between each child?

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Assalamu'Alikum,

 

Is it ok to delay having children till you are more financialy stable?

 

NO!! Not for that reason.

 

Is it ok to delay having children till say e.g. 2 years after marriage, in that two years you get to know eachother and spend time together, building a solid marital base?

 

What about spacing children? Should you be having children every year??? Is it ok to have a gap of like 3-4-5 years between each child?

 

Difference of Opinion on these two.

 

Fee Amanillah.

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:D

 

Is it ok to delay having children till you are more financialy stable? Such that you don't have to ask people for money and avoid having to seek haram means?

 

What if we are never financially stable according to our critaria. Then we wont have children at all. Infact Quran is clear in this regard that Allah provides the sustenance, thus it is meaningless to think we can put space in between and thus provide them more stable life.

 

Is it ok to delay having children till say e.g. 2 years after marriage, in that two years you get to know eachother and spend time together, building a solid marital base?

 

What about spacing children? Should you be having children every year??? Is it ok to have a gap of like 3-4-5 years between each child?

 

The question that will answer this question is what does a man has in his power to stop a child from being born if Allah intends him to be born. The permisibility of contraceptive/Adhl does not indicate that it will be effective. We get many cases of accidental conceiving. They are nothing but the will of Allah manifesting its command.

 

:D

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Assalamu Alaikum, I agree with you faisal, what is the criteria of stablility?

:D

What if we are never financially stable according to our critaria. Then we wont have children at all. Infact Quran is clear in this regard that Allah provides the sustenance, thus it is meaningless to think we can put space in between and thus provide them more stable life.

The question that will answer this question is what does a man has in his power to stop a child from being born if Allah intends him to be born. The permisibility of contraceptive/Adhl does not indicate that it will be effective. We get many cases of accidental conceiving. They are nothing but the will of Allah manifesting its command.

 

:D

 

I would just like to add to another point here, What is the guarantee that someone is going to have children, there are many who dont have children, they dont use contraceptives or anything. When Allah wills for someone to come into this world, they will and when He wills for some one to leave this world they will. If controlling birth of children was dependent on contraceptives, then women who are able to concieve babies and dont use contraceptives should be having babies continuously every year until they get old. The best thing is for us to make dua to Allah that inshaAllah if and when someone has a baby, then Allah will help the parents bring up the baby in a good Islamic environment, and fulfill their duties towards the children to the best of their ability and leave the rest to Allah.

 

Wassalamu Alaikum, masooma.

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Spacing Children

 

The concept of spacing children means the practise of contraception in order to allow a reasonable time period between the birth of any two children, the purpose being that each child receives adequate attention of the mother in its upbringing. In the difficult task of nourishing, training and educating a child, the full attention of a mother is required. If a baby is born every year, then it is extremely difficult to provide the necessary care and attention for each child. From this discussion in Radd al-Muhtar [by Ibn Abidin] and other books of Islâmic jurisprudence (on the question of abortion), it can be deduced, that if another pregnancy would seriously affect the care and upbringing of the existing child, then reversible methods of birth control may be practised.

 

Thus family planning towards the spacing of children, so that each child receives adequate attention, would be permissible in Islâm. However, it must be emphasised that even this concession should be treated with respect. It must be made clear that spacing of children should not be used as a pretext for continuing family planning for an indefinite period, for this will be contrary to the injunction of our Holy Prophet Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam who said:

 

"Marry and procreate."

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Delaying

 

Many couples go into marriage thinking they have plenty of time before the kids come, but lo and behold, after the first few weeks of marriage, they're expecting their first child! Be patient with your husband and just point out to him that you want to have children when you're adequately prepared for it. Using birth control is permissible as long as you don't use the kind which aborts the embryo once conception has already taken place.

 

Maybe you and your husband need to spend some time with some young children so you can both get an idea of how much responsibility you'll have if you choose to conceive immediately. Yes, we should trust in Allah. But we should also prepare ourselves to the best of our ability. You and your husband may want to get to know each other for a while before you have children. Once the children come, life will completely change and you want to make sure you've built a solid foundation with each other. Also, financially speaking, the more children you have, the more responsibility your husband has. Is he ready for that? There's no harm in spacing your children out so you can prepare your finances.

 

You can't force your husband to talk about this, but you can gently encourage him to prepare for the future by discussing things now. Having children is one of the most important things you'll ever do. It's good to want you and your husband to be on the same page with this.

 

And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success.

 

Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)

 

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:D

 

interesting discussion..

 

Assalamu Alaikum, I agree with you faisal, what is the criteria of stablility?

I would just like to add to another point here, What is the guarantee that someone is going to have children, there are many who dont have children, they dont use contraceptives or anything. When Allah wills for someone to come into this world, they will and when He wills for some one to leave this world they will. If controlling birth of children was dependent on contraceptives, then women who are able to concieve babies and dont use contraceptives should be having babies continuously every year until they get old. The best thing is for us to make dua to Allah that inshaAllah if and when someone has a baby, then Allah will help the parents bring up the baby in a good Islamic environment, and fulfill their duties towards the children to the best of their ability and leave the rest to Allah.

 

Wassalamu Alaikum, masooma.

 

very good points made there.

 

:D

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G) You could take the option of birth control and not have children till you think your present children are old enough with the intention that you will be able to give the next child proper time and care. Practicing contraception for the purpose of spacing children so that adequate time can be given to each child is permissible in Islam. In Muslim countries, people have all of their immediate relatives living with them who help out in taking care of the children. The same is not the case in countries where Muslims have migrated to. Sometimes it is only the husband and wife living in the city and all the other relatives are either in a different city or in a different country all together which makes it hard for the mother to take care of the children all on her own. In such cases, it would be advisable that childbirth is delayed for a couple of years at least. You can view the following link for further information on this point. It is a long discussion so you might want to scroll down to the ending of the discussion to the subheading titled: Spacing Children.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Nazim Mangera

 

nazim[at]sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

 

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Spacing

 

We will quote to you below a statement issued by the Fiqh Council (al-Majma’ al-Fiqhi) with regard to family planning:

 

The meeting of the Fiqh Council held during its fifth conference in Kuwait 1-6 Jumaada al-Aakhir 1409 AH (10-15 December 1988) – after studying the research presented by members and experts on the subject of family planning, and listening to the debate that took place on this topic, and based on the fact that one of the objectives of marriage according to Islamic sharee’ah is to reproduce and preserve the human race, and that it is not permissible to undermine this objective, because undermining it goes against the texts and teachings of sharee’ah, which call for having many children, protecting them and taking care of them, because producing and caring for offspring is one of the five kulliyaat (holistic principles) which sharee’ah came to take care of – issued the following resolutions:

 

1 – It is not permissible to issue laws that limit the freedom of couples to have children.

 

2 – It is haraam to remove the ability of men and women to have children, which is known as sterilization, so long as there is no need to do so according to shar’i principles.

 

3 – It is permissible to use temporary means of contraception in order to increase the gaps between pregnancies, or to stop them for a limited period of time, if there is a valid shar’i reason for doing so, based on the couple’s estimation and with mutual consultation and agreement, subject to the condition that this does not result in harm and that the means is acceptable according to sharee’ah and will not damage any existing pregnancy.

 

And Allaah knows best.

 

Resolution no. 38 (1/5), re: Family planning.

 

See Majallat al-Majma’, vol. 1, p. 73)

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=32479&dgn=4"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...&QR=32479&dgn=4[/url]

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Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4911; Muslim, 1440. Muslim added: Sufyaan said: If there had been anything wrong with it, the Qur’aan would have forbidden it.

 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

 

With regard to ‘azl, some of the scholars regarded it as haraam, but the view of the four imams is that it is permissible with the wife’s permission. And Allaah knows best.

 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/110

 

See also Question no. 11885.

 

Thirdly:

 

It is permissible for the spouses to agree on family planning so long as that is temporary and not a permanent thing – subject to the condition that the means used does not cause any harm to the woman.

 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

 

With regard to using temporary means of preventing pregnancy, such as when a woman gets pregnant easily and pregnancy is exhausting for her, and she wants to space her pregnancies so they will be two years apart and so on, this is permissible so long as her husband gives his permission and so long as that will not cause her any harm.

 

Risaalat al-Dimaa’ al-Tabee’iyyah li’l-Nisa’

 

And Allaah knows best.

 

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This is a very weird fatwa:

 

Question :

 

Is it permissible to use birth control so that a person has a child every five years, because he sees the corruption in society and would not be able to raise a lot of children close in age in this overwhelmingly corrupt society?

 

 

Answer :

 

Praise be to Allaah.

 

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who replied:

 

So long as this is the intention, then it is not permissible to do this, because it reflects a lack of trust in Allaah with regard to the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said “Marry the one who is loving and fertile…†[does it??? It's not clear...]

 

But if the birth control has to do with the condition of the woman – because she cannot cope with repeated pregnancies – this may be permissible, but it is better not to do it. [seems out of sync with the other opinions regarding the woman's health?????]

 

Question: Do you mean that it is more important to pay attention to the woman’s condition than to the corrupt nature of society?

 

Answer: Of course, because there is no certainty that one’s children will be corrupt; they may be righteous people who will bring benefits to society. And Allaah knows best.

 

 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (www.Islam-qa(contact admin if its a beneficial link))

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Valid Reasons for Contraception:

 

The first valid reason for contraception is the fear that the pregnancy or delivery might endanger the life or health of the mother; the criterion of determining this possibility is experience or the opinion of a reliable physician. Allah Almighty says: '... And do not be cast into ruin by your own hands....' (Al-Baqarah: 195) and, '... and kill not one another. Lo! Allah is ever Merciful unto you.' (An-Nisa': 29)

 

Another reason is the fear that the burden of children may hamper the family’s circumstances so much that one might accept or do something haram (unlawful) to satisfy their needs. Allah says: '... Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire hardship for you...' (Al-Baqarah: 185) and, '... It is not Allah’s desire to place a burden upon you...' (Al-Ma'idah: 7)

 

Another valid reason is the fear that the new pregnancy or a new baby might harm a suckling child. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) termed intercourse with a nursing mother, or rather the intercourse, which results in pregnancy while the mother is still nursing a baby, 'Gheelah,' emphasizing the fact that pregnancy would pollute the milk thus causing great harm to the suckling infant.

 

Since he was greatly concerned with the welfare of his Ummah, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) dissuaded people from what would harm them.

 

Among the Prophet's remarks on this issue is 'Do not kill your children secretly, for Gheelah overtakes the rider and throws him from the horse.' (Reported by Abu Dawud)

 

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not, however, go so far as to prohibit intercourse with a nursing mother, as he noted that the Persians and Greeks, the two most powerful nations of his time, practiced it without any resulting injury to their children. Moreover, he feared that it would be a great hardship for husbands to abstain from their wives during the period of suckling, which may last up to two years. He said, 'I intended to prohibit Gheelah, if not for the fact I noticed that the Persians and the Greeks suckled their children during pregnancy without any injury being caused to their children as a result.' (Reported by Muslim)

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continued...

 

Ibn Al-Qayyim, in comparing this hadith to the one quoted just before it 'Do not kill your children secretly...' says, 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw that pregnancy harms the suckling infant in the same way as being thrown off a horse harms a rider: it is injurious, but not to the extent of killing the baby. He advised them to avoid intercourse leading to pregnancy while the woman is nursing an infant, but he did not prohibit it. He then intended to prohibit it in order to save the health of the suckling child if not that he considered the gravity of the danger this would cause the husband, especially the young ones, and the effect of that on society.

 

On balancing these matters, therefore, he preferred not to prohibit it. Moreover, he saw that in the two most powerful and populous nations of his time, (women) suckled their children during pregnancy without any negative effect on their strength or numbers, and accordingly he refrained from prohibiting it.' (Ibn Al-Qayyim, Miftah Dar Al-Sa`adah, p. 620; also see Zad Al-Mi`ad, vol. 4 p. 26)

 

In our time, new methods of contraception are available which realize the objective intended by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that of protecting the suckling infant from any possible harm which may occur due to the pregnancy of his mother while at the same time avoiding the hardship to the husband in abstaining from sexual relations with his nursing wife.

 

From this we may conclude that from the Islamic point of view the ideal spacing between two children is thirty months, or, if one wants to nurse the baby for two full years, then thirty-three months."

 

 

Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Islamic lecturer and author, adds:

 

"The answer to question of contraception is found in the following three points:

 

1. Giving birth is the right of both husband and wife, and neither one of them has the right to deprive the other from doing so.

 

2. It is prohibited to take any measure, which would permanently prevent pregnancy, or cause infertility. It is permissible, however, to use temporary birth control methods to delay pregnancy, as in the case of delaying pregnancy for the two years of breastfeeding the first child.

 

3. It is prohibited to use any birth control method which would harm the body, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'Do not (impose) harm, nor (inflect) harm.'" (Quoted, with slight modification, from: Islam Q&A (www.Islam-qa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)))

 

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Assalamu alaikum, Br. Panthera Tigris, I respect what you are posting, and I respect the learned brothers and sisters whose point of view you are posting, I personally know some of them. I have no problem with their views.

 

The point I am trying to make is that: A person can take all the precautions they want through contraceptive, but they should not put their trust in them, they should only trust Allah, I know many girls who want children and are unable to get pregnant then I personally know 3 girls who were using birth control pills, who got pregnant, Thank Allah that the children who were born do not have any defects in them because of the pills the mothers were taking.

 

I know it is hard to live in a country where you have no family to help, and the women have to do all the hard work themselves (SO YOU ALL AGREE WOMAN WORK HARDER THAN MEN, LOL) it is not easy, believe me I am talking from self experience, but sometimes not having people around to help is a BLESSING IN DISGUISE because then you can bring up the children the way you want to, without pressure from other family members. May Allah help us, ameen.

Wassalamu alaikum. masooma.

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The questions weren't about where to put your trust.

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Assalamu Alaikum, I know the question originally asked was about Family Planning, and the answers are all connected to it, including my last post.

 

I am saying, if someone wants to do family planning, fine, but put your trust in Allah and nothing besides Allah.

 

WE PLAN AND THEN Allah PLANS, AND Allah'S PLANS ARE THE BEST.

 

Assalamu alaikum, masooma.

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Assalamu alaikum

 

Is it ok to delay having children till you are more financialy stable? Such that you don't have to ask people for money and avoid having to seek haram means?

 

Is it ok to delay having children till say e.g. 2 years after marriage, in that two years you get to know eachother and spend time together, building a solid marital base?

 

What about spacing children? Should you be having children every year??? Is it ok to have a gap of like 3-4-5 years between each child?

 

As-Salaamu aleikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatahu

 

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_qa.sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4735&CATE=117"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_qa.sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4735&CATE=117[/url]

 

W'as-Salaamu aleikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatahu

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:D

 

I have an idea Br. Panthera instead of posting all the opinions from Maulana Nazim Mangera to Sheikh Saleh Al Uthemein.. why dont you just give the link (www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.google(contact admin if its a beneficial link)"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.google(contact admin if its a beneficial link)[/url] . I mean what you are doing any other member can do to. We ar all half Google Muftis :D

 

Br. Panthera. You were the one who asked the question, and did not post these opinions before so it seems the only reason for posting was so that you may post all these different opinion in the first place. Brother, I would suggest you to go and sit in the Suhbah of a few teachers before trusing the net materials just from your Aqli Istidaad. {Remember the Muhajaba post... you would know what I mean}

 

With regards to this topic, here is the Fatwa of Mufti Desai

 

:D

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As Salaam Alaikum Masooma,

 

Assalamu Alaikum, I agree with you faisal, what is the criteria of stablility?

I would just like to add to another point here, What is the guarantee that someone is going to have children, there are many who dont have children, they dont use contraceptives or anything. When Allah wills for someone to come into this world, they will and when He wills for some one to leave this world they will. If controlling birth of children was dependent on contraceptives, then women who are able to concieve babies and dont use contraceptives should be having babies continuously every year until they get old. The best thing is for us to make dua to Allah that inshaAllah if and when someone has a baby, then Allah will help the parents bring up the baby in a good Islamic environment, and fulfill their duties towards the children to the best of their ability and leave the rest to Allah.

 

Wassalamu Alaikum, masooma.

 

 

I have to disagree with what you are saying. Yes, Allah does bring life and take life when he wills, but you make it seem as if people have absoloutly no control over the concieving process.

 

I mean if you want to sum up everythingh with "Allah wills" then again, why wear safety belts in cars? Why ever go to school? Why ever get a job? Why even take care of kids? "Allah wills, and whatever happens is what Allah wills". Why ever take precaution in certian situations? If Allah wills the house to buun down, then it will burn down, why worry about kids playing with fire in the house?

 

As Muslims we have free-will and personal repsonsibility.

 

And from my understanding the verse that talks about children and financial htings, is talking about not killing your children. One that has not been concieved is not a child.

 

salaam

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:D

 

I have to disagree with what you are saying. Yes, Allah does bring life and take life when he wills, but you make it seem as if people have absoloutly no control over the concieving process.

 

I mean if you want to sum up everythingh with "Allah wills" then again, why wear safety belts in cars? Why ever go to school? Why ever get a job? Why even take care of kids? "Allah wills, and whatever happens is what Allah wills". Why ever take precaution in certian situations? If Allah wills the house to buun down, then it will burn down, why worry about kids playing with fire in the house?

 

Sister,

 

You misunderstand the concept of tawakkal and Qadr. Every thing in existence is subdued into the will of Allah. That said, this world is a world of Asbaab (Means). Everything that Allah wishes comes into affect through means and wasail that only Allah controls who and how they will take place.

 

Bibi Mariam Alayhasalam never came in contact with a man, then how did Allah create Eesaa Alayhisalam out of her?... In fact the conceiving , bearing and giving birth is all the asbaab through which the life comes but how they come in affect is in hands of Allah.

 

Sayyiduna Adam Aleyhisalam was moulded by Allah himself, without mother and without father... What means were there? Same is for Bibi Hawwa Alayhasalam.

 

The fact is, the immence tawakal is that which the Ashaab us Suffa had. They did not have any food, no shelter and no jobs. but Allah the merciful made other sahaba a means for their food shelter and jobs.

 

Rasul Allah :D only had sons and daughters from Khadija Radiallah anha and a son from bibi Maria Kibtia radiallah anha. A rasul of Allah was not given a boy as an heir by will of Allah. Allah planned and surely HE planned great. Had anyone beside Allah were to have any say in anything it could have been Rasul Allah :D and He :D himself would ask Allah for everything. Tawakkal.. He did not deny asbaab.

 

As for the belts, safety etc.. these are asbab for security of ones health which come within the order of sharia. It is Fard upon us to save ourself. but to think that the belt is the thing which would save us is Shirk. Its Allah's will. Our Imaan e Muffassil states clearly "good and bad is only from Allah".

 

How many people are Doctorate and still begging on streets in pakistan. and yet many dropouts are millionare.. means are deceiving in front of will of Allah. Logic fails in this world and His Law rules...

 

:D

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A rasul of Allah was not given a boy as an heir by will of Allah. Allah planned and surely HE planned great.

 

The Quran said "he is not the father of any of your men..." right?

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Assalamu Alaikum, My dear brothers and sisters, check the link out, in my last post I wrote "WE PLAN AND THEN Allah PLANS, AND Allah'S PLANS ARE THE BEST". It is from Allah that I found this yesterday while browsing and wanted to share it with you. May Allah make us true believers of his POWER. Wassalamu alaikum, masooma.

 

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4500022.stm"]Important check this out.[/url]

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Assalamu alaikum, I am surprised that there were no reactions to the story in the link that I provided, specially from Sis Minority and Br. Panthera Tigris. I hope people will see the link, it is worth pondering over. Wassalamu alaikum, masooma.

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4500022.stm"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4500022.stm[/url]

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Assalamu alaikum, I am surprised that there were no reactions to the story in the link that I provided, specially from Sis Minority and Br. Panthera Tigris. I hope people will see the link, it is worth pondering over. Wassalamu alaikum, masooma.

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4500022.stm"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4500022.stm[/url]

 

salam

 

wow mashallah what an intresting story :D without Allah swt will no one could have stop that baby being born......

 

i personally believe its okay to use contaception but also remember that if it is Allah's swt will for you to be blessed with a child it will happen no matter what.

 

wassalam

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As Salaam Alaikum Masooma,

 

I don't think that anyone here is debating if Allah's plan over-rides our own plan. So honestly sister, what you are talking about is irrellevant to this discussion. No one is encouraging anyone to put all of thier hope in contraceptives/family planning. People would just like to know if it's ok. That's all.

 

You are a stressing a point that no one is debating besides yourself.

 

And also how can you say what was Allah's plan and what was not? A woman not getting pregnant while using contraceptives, could very much be apart of his plan as well.... so why not use contraceptives??? I mean, who are you to try to imply what is Allah's plan and what is not?

 

If you believe that I believe that measures of birth control are 100% gauranteed, then you are wong in this belief. I know for sure that virtually nothing is gauranteed. Allah knows best.

 

And while everyting may be up to Allah, I don't believe in this "Well Allah will give it to me if he wants to" excuse, where people do not put any action behind it. I mean, yes Allah can give it to you if he wants to and you don't have to do nothing for it, but from my view... life just doesn't work like that. Life is a test and we have to work for things

 

 

It all comes back to wearing a seatbelt or not in the car. Allah wills doesn't he? Yes. So why ever wear a seatbelt? If Allah wants you to fly out the window, you will fly out the window regardles... so what is the point of the seatbelt?

 

I mean for goodness sakes, since we are talking about pregnancy...

 

If Allah wants you to get pregannt, then you will get pregnant... so why ever worry about being intimate with your spouse then? If He wants you to get pregnant, you will get pregnant regardless. There is no need to plan on days when you are ovulating, and not. No need to ever get intimate with your spouse at all. Allah can easily find a way to get you pregnant.

 

Again, no one is trying to say that our own plan over-rides Allah. There is no need for you to stress this point.

 

Also, here is an interesting verse that I read the other day. After I read it, it further confirmed my belief that while everything is up to Allah, there is so much that is up to us as well, and in many cases, we humans have to first do some things, before Allah chooses to be so directly involved:

 

Surah 8:53

 

Because Allah will never change the Grace which He hath bestowed on a people until they change what is in their souls: And verily Allah is He who hearath and knoweth.

 

 

Again, I am not one who believes ina 100% no pregnancy gaurantee... but I am not going to dismiss the idea of preventing a pregnancy with a "If Allah wants me to get pregnant, I will get pregnant" remark.

 

salaam

Edited by --**MinorityOpinions**--

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