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Woman With A Past

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Salams,

 

It's me again from the divorced woman topic.

 

This time it's a woman and she said she had a relationship before.

 

Can I ask her if she is virgin or if she consumated that relationship?

 

Why do I feel like there's something wrong with me?

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PropellerAds

There is nothing wrong with you, you have a right to know whether she is a vergin or not.

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Salams,

 

It's me again from the divorced woman topic.

 

This time it's a woman and she said she had a relationship before.

 

Can I ask her if she is virgin or if she consumated that relationship?

 

Why do I feel like there's something wrong with me?

 

becareful how you ask her, dont make it seem rude. ask the question in a polite and gentle way

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Salams,

 

It's me again from the divorced woman topic.

 

This time it's a woman and she said she had a relationship before.

 

Can I ask her if she is virgin or if she consumated that relationship?

 

Why do I feel like there's something wrong with me?

 

 

:D

 

Well you have the right to ask, no point in marring her and the getting annoyed with her and all about it....

 

 

I would suggest that you as, but in a VERY polite manner...

 

And bro there is nothing wrong with you!

 

 

w/salaam

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AOA

 

I understand from your point of view to ask whether she's still a virgin, however the key is to be respectful and sensitive. Unlike the way some brothers express themselves very bluntly and show no regard for the others feelings.

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Salams,

 

An example of how/what to ask would be helpful. Also how to ask them if they can take an AIDS/HIV test etc.

 

Is it bad, say everything was ok about a person, but you turn them down because they've had a boyfriend/girlfriend in the past?

 

Sometimes I think I should just get a girlfriend then dump her, then I wouldn't care about a woman's past as now I have a past. Why am I thinking like this?

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Sometimes I think I should just get a girlfriend then dump her, then I wouldn't care about a woman's past as now I have a past. Why am I thinking like this?

:D

becuase your being ungratfull to Allah who has kept you away from such evil sin and you are following shaytans whispers.

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:D

 

If someone says they've had a relationship in the past, you don't need to be a geek about it and start asking details :D

 

Just ask if they've considered taking a HIV test. That'll answer any doubts you have about the extent of the relationship.

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Salams,

 

An example of how/what to ask would be helpful. Also how to ask them if they can take an AIDS/HIV test etc.

 

Is it bad, say everything was ok about a person, but you turn them down because they've had a boyfriend/girlfriend in the past?

 

Sometimes I think I should just get a girlfriend then dump her, then I wouldn't care about a woman's past as now I have a past. Why am I thinking like this?

 

salaams, you can say that you have some stuff on your mind which you would like to ask her but you really do not wish to offend her or make her feel uneasy but you need to know it before both of you make your decisions. see what her reaction is from that and you will be able to get to know more about her temperament as well as her personality. most importantly, speak from your heart! i hope that helps or gaves you some ideas.

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Salams,

 

My heart wants someone who isn't divorced or had a boyfriend. I want someone who has never been married and is as new as I am to a marriage.

 

I guess I'm just looking into things because I'm getting desperate so I'm looking at anyone. That's not good is it?

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Salams,

 

My heart wants someone who isn't divorced or had a boyfriend. I want someone who has never been married and is as new as I am to a marriage.

 

I guess I'm just looking into things because I'm getting desperate so I'm looking at anyone. That's not good is it?

 

you are right, thats not good! dont just marry any girl because you wish to be married, marry her only if you are truely 100% happy. marriage is supposed to be a life time commitment. if you dont mind me asking, what is the reason you wish to get married?

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Salams,

 

My heart wants someone who isn't divorced or had a boyfriend. I want someone who has never been married and is as new as I am to a marriage.

 

I guess I'm just looking into things because I'm getting desperate so I'm looking at anyone. That's not good is it?

 

If that is what your heart wants then don’t torment yourself and the woman. Just look for what your heart wants. If you have never had any experiences then you have a right to ask for the same and I am sure you can find someone like that.

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Salams,

 

I want to get married to help lower the gaze and so on, hormones and all that and also have a friend, someone to talk to. Is that unreasonable?

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Salams,

 

I want to get married to help lower the gaze and so on, hormones and all that and also have a friend, someone to talk to. Is that unreasonable?

 

no brother, this is perfectly normal. every person's naseeb (fate) has been written and your time for marriage will come when Allah has intended for it to be. Nothing that you do will change it. You may recite this duaa 100 times each day and inshallah everything will happen for the best for you:

rabbi inni limma unzultah illaiha meen khaireen fakeer

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Salams,

 

My heart wants someone who isn't divorced or had a boyfriend. I want someone who has never been married and is as new as I am to a marriage.

 

I guess I'm just looking into things because I'm getting desperate so I'm looking at anyone. That's not good is it?

 

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

 

inshallah brother you will find that perfect one you are looking for... but really think about marrying out of desperation... if she has been married before or made mistakes in the past with dating etc... virgin or no virgin, are you always going to be thinking bad aobut her because of this even years after the marriage? If you aren't going to be able to let go of her past then it may come up at a later time and hurt her, you, or the both of you.

 

so if you are going to marry someone who has had experience with marriage and/or a relationship, don't do it out of desperation, but only because you can decide to move forward with her because she seems like someone who will make a good wife.

 

 

fi aman Allah,

 

Ameera

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:D

 

id rather someone i can get along with 24 hours a day than a woman that will lose her virginity to me the first few hours of our marrage.

 

marrage is a long haul. you want a woman whom you get along with, can share things with, someone whom is a mate/friend. what is inside her head and heart is more important than whats i......well you know.

 

:D

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Salams,

 

I understand about virgin issue. My concern is about AIDS/HIV and what if she misbehaves again after marriage? With divorce it's maybe she still has feelings for her ex? Maybe her ex wants her back?

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Bissmellah

 

I advice my brother in Islam to Pray salatul istikhra and to remember non of us Muslims will get married unless it is the decree of Allah, now if we stress our selves and starts to chit chat with any human for the sake of getting married and follow our own hawa [desirers the foot steppes of the devil] we will fail and we might fall into sins and errors..

 

For example, If Allah the most merciful has decreed for you to get married after 6 month and you stress your self you won’t get married until after 6 month now how about if by that time you have over worked your self and you have wasted so much time on so much women and conversations?

 

Remember Akhee to have patients, make much supplications, pay sadaqah this helps a great deal, Pray night prayers this dose miracles and whatever you do do not feel hopeless and Alone as Allah is with you remember this is a test from Allah make Insha*Allah sure to be successful in this test by having Patience and yaqeen Billah that is certainty's on Allah that whatever happens it is for your own Good and that Allah wishes you well full trust in Allah..

 

Do not let the devil play game on your head by making sins seams more appealing and rewording or More logical so you wont mind getting married to a women with a past La ilah il Allah... you are blessed by the mercy of Allah that you are lacking a past be grateful.. but if you keep up talking to any women you might Destroy that blessing and earn the anger of Allah W Sobhn Allah lets All fear Allah!

 

I will share with you 2 hadeeth Please read carefully ===>

 

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Thawban [Transmitted by Ibn Majah.]

 

Allah's Messenger [Çááåã Õáì Úáì äÈíå æÑÓæáæÉ ÓíÃäÇ ãÃãÃ] said: "Only supplication averts the decree, only kindness prolongs life, and a man is deprived of provision for a fault he commits."

 

Hadith - al-Tirmidhi # 2151. [Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 1/699, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was classed as hasan by al-Haafiz ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, 11/184]

 

The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from his failure to pray istikhaarah, and the misery of the son of Adam results from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him.

 

I will make dua for you insha*Allah

 

Fe Amn Ellah

Al Faghera el Allah

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