Crystal Eyes 0 Posted February 28, 2006 :D warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, Secret Cat Diary DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed (again). DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan... DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. :D Share your fav jokes.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahm 0 Posted February 28, 2006 :D Hey... I posted that before! >_< You stealer! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Eyes 0 Posted February 28, 2006 :D Hey... I posted that before! >_< You stealer! Ah ha! so you're the one who thinks they are cat and writes in their diary in their spare time. My bad brother, i didn't know, sorry. ***** Woman: So did you buy tuna for the pasta? Man: Err, there was tuna Woman: No there wasn't Man: So what was that can of tuna? :D Woman: That was the Cats food! :D Man: We have a Cat? :D ***** :D warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sia 0 Posted February 28, 2006 :D Ah, tuna is the best!! Will post some if there's no copy right on google! :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest amani Posted March 2, 2006 :D :D but tuna is >_< Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sia 0 Posted June 8, 2006 :D now way, jus picture it!!! mmmm! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
khumara 1 Posted June 9, 2006 :D :D :D at the tuna one :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thezman 0 Posted June 9, 2006 :D warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,Secret Cat Diary DAY 752 - They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. :D My mother feeds the cat before me! He only eats chicken breasts, smoked turkey breast, fish, shrimp, canned tuna, and his favorite snacks are potato chips & popcorn. But, I love him to death :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Eyes 0 Posted June 9, 2006 :D warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, :DMy mother feeds the cat before me! He only eats chicken breasts, smoked turkey breast, fish, shrimp, canned tuna, and his favorite snacks are potato chips & popcorn. But, I love him to death :) :D On the topic of cats, my sister used to have a cat (well several actually), my brother hated them simply because once one of them ate his bird :D. anyhow every eid she used to insist that the cats should have henna on their paws O_o *************** "Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp ####tail instead." -- Miss Piggy "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson "This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen "I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck "I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz "Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin "Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso "Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
restless_soul 0 Posted June 9, 2006 :D "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson lol.... :D "Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso wash your face?!... :D ....loll :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Subhaanallaah 0 Posted July 15, 2006 Assalam Alaikum Hahhah! funny jokes.. I liked the Tuna one.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
