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zabrina

Cow Corporation

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:D

 

 

pakistan is n't that bad :D

 

I think RA has a hand in your post.. :D

 

 

w/salaam

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Canadian Corporation (version 3.0)

 

You have 2 cows. Both belong to Aborignal people. You take their cows and give them few drinks. You migrate few cows from Asia and make them produce yogurt instade of milk.

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:D / Peace to all,

 

I have gathered all the postings and contributions made by members of IF to the 'Cows Corporation' topic. Please find them below together with the contributor's name. I think you guys made really good contribution, funny but very informative, and it is sad to see it go wasted like that. Therefore, i would like to seek permission from every owner of the original contribution to post your writing (together with your name) in another of my group. I also wish to sent this over to a friend who lectures in a college to use it in her class for educational purposes.

 

 

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION (These are original posting- Authors unknown)

 

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

_____

 

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime' and steal someone else's cows and shoot the owner.

_____

 

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION

 

A farmer has two cows.

You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international community to supply more.

_____

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

_____

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

_____

 

A BRITISH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

_____

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You pray to them for food.

_____

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

_____

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

_____

 

A SWISS CORPORATION

 

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

_____

 

A CHINESE CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

__

 

A PAKISTAN CORPORATION

 

You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.

___

 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

The one on the left is kinda cute.. .

 

_____ (IF contributors starts here)

 

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

One takes forever to milk.

The other ones only produce milk when you feed it under the table.

 

 

A CANADIAN CORPORATION (Bro Hasib)

 

You have 2 cows.

Let us outsource 1 cow to India and buy milk from there real cheap.

The other cow works part time and complains why theres no jobs here?!

 

 

THE BRUNEI CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

Both live in palace and do nothing

You bring in 3rd cow so that you can have milk for breakfast

 

THE IRAN CORPORATION (Sis Darla)

 

Iranian cows: There are no Iranian cows. If there are Iranian cows, they're being used for peaceful purposes. If they're not being used for peaceful purposes, they're being used as per our right as a sovereign right. And as our sovereign right, we intend to use the cows on you at our earliest possible convenience.

THE SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

 

Both migrated to Australia to be able to spit anywhere they want and eat chewing gum

You bring in a third cow to increase population and observe the rule of spitting

 

 

THE AFGHANISTAN CORPORATION (Bro Friend of all)

You had 2 cows.

One was killed in "war against terror" and another one is hiding in tora-bora.

 

THE AFGHANISTAN CORPORATION (Sis Darla)

 

Taliban cows: You have two cows.

Both are covered head to toe in a burka and are fearful of making milk for fear of being 'tipped.'

 

THE AFGHANISTAN CORPORATION (Bro. Noxiouspython)

 

You had two cows.

One was killed when the Russians attacked, the other one was killed in the civil war after that. then you tried to sell drugs and finally bought another cow, but then the Americans attacked, and we all know what happened to that cow...

 

 

THE THAILAND CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

 

You allow both cows to do whatever they want so long as there is milk for breakfast

The cows can also choose to become either heifer or bull

 

 

THE BRAZIL CORPORATION (Bro. freedslave)

 

You have two cows.

you can't care less about the politics and economics in your country. you kill the two cows and use the cows skin for...making footballs! everyone thanks you because now their whole life is set on playing FOOTBALL...

 

THE EGYTIAN CORPORATION (Bro. Noxiouspython)

 

You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!

 

 

THE INDONESIAN CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

 

You have two choices -

Either pay the sweeper, coffee lady, guard, receptionist, office boy, agricultural department officials, land office officials, food department officials and other related governmental bodies for the right to milk the cows

Or lose your right to milk your cows

 

 

THE israelI CORPORATION (Bro Freedslave)

 

You have two cows.

you claim both of them are holy and belong to you...even though both of them originally belonged to your palestinian neighbour. you see your neighbour buying another cow and you take that from him as well. one day you see your neighbour's farm has no fences to protect it and you decide to take over your neighbours' whole farm of animals and chase him out...later you are pressured by the rest of the farmers to be fair...so very reluctantly you decide to give him a very tiny, small plot of land in the farm and occasionally...one very tiny, small glass of the cows' milk...

 

 

THE HONGKONG CORPORATION (Sis Zabrina)

 

You have two cows

Chinese government claimed ownership for both

 

THE DUBAI CORPORATION (Sis Darla)

You have two cows.

You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

 

THE QATAR CORPORATION (Sis Darla)

 

You have two cows.

They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

 

THE LEBANON CORPORATIN (Sis Darla)

 

You have two cows.

One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.

 

THE LEBANESE CORPORATION (Bro. Alim in Training)

 

You have a farm of cows.

One cow dies from a car bomb, the other cows spend the rest of their lives crying over the dead cow. Then you blame Syria.

 

THE SRI LANKA CORPORATION (Bro. Friend of all)

 

You have 2 cows.

One has clamed refuge status in Canada and another one is hiding in jungle from government.

 

 

THE CANADIAN CORPORATION (Bro. Hasib)

 

You have 2 cows.

Outsource one cow to India and buy back the milk real cheap.

An american farmer buys the other cow and then tries to sell you back the milk with an added tariff and then the politicians get involved.. the same politicians who used to have imported dutch milk previously

 

THE PAkISTANI CORPORATION (Bro. Hasib)

 

You have 2 cows.

 

One goes missing and everyones quick to label India/israel/U.S. as the likely culprits.

The other cow complains about the working conditions and goes on strike and Pakistan ends up importing milk from U.S.

 

THE CANADIAN CORPORATION (Bro. Friend of all)

 

You have 2 cows.

Both belong to Aboriginal people. You take their cows and give them few drinks. You migrate few cows from Asia and make them produce yogurt instead of milk.

 

 

Sis Zabrina

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:D

:D

Thats a good idea sister. :D I wouldnt surprise if in future I get this back as one of those fwd emails. :D

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:D

 

That's a good idea sis zabrina :D . But I'm not sure how you want us to submit our names for our contributions... :D

 

:D

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