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LastWhisper

Suicide...

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salam

 

 

The thought of commiting suicide has occupied my mind lately. Well I think i should just introduce my self before mentioning my problems. I am a 25 year old man and have been practicing Islam for quite a few years like about 5-6. alhumdulilah.

 

The problem is that i am begiining to think of myself as a total failure becase i have not accomplished anything so far in my life. I have not been able to complete university studies due to some personal and family problems and left it halfway that i will explain in more detail below.

 

As I became more religious I started praticing Islam very sincerely and became very much attached to it. I would not even miss a single prayer no matter what and remained steadfast for about a year. At this point i was working full time and was very happy with the way i was learning and practicing deen. Then my parents insisted that i should go to university, so i applied to university and got accepted.

 

As soon as i started going to university, my level of imaan got a severe blow due to the prevalent fitna at the campus. I nolonger was able to lower my gaze and fell prey to the trickery of shaitaan. but i still managed to refrain myself from the company of women and maintained my beard. Slowly I began to despise the culture cuz of the way and speed at which it was impacting my imaan. Then started seeking help from scholars and other brothers in the area, and most of them including the local scholar suggested that i should get married asap. They all basically suggested the same thing --- get married. This is something that I was thinking about doing for quite a while and this time all these people i consulted with for help reinforced the same ideas i was having.

 

Then i took this issue to my parents, who basically abhored this idea. They're typical indian parents heavily influenced by cultural norms. The thought of me as a crazy ...for thinking abt getting married without having money and house to live in, and they thought that no-one would give me their daughter without a degree or a good job. I just gave up on my parents as it was pointless to talk to them regarding this.

 

Then i started looking around for practicing muslim women and found a suitable match. I didn't fall in love with her,...but eventually got very very interested in her. I wanted to marry her so bad, but her parents refused my proposal because I wasn't rich enough and didn't have a steady job. They married her to a doctor a few months later that really tore my heart apart. Mind me these ppl were somewhat religious, her dad had a beard and mom wore hijab and they both prayed. That just blew me away emotionally and spiritually. I got so stressed out that I ended up quiting my job. I felt useless.

 

THen my religous friends helped me come back into deen....they eventually made me convinced that it was a test from Allah and how maybe Allah has something better for me, etc. I was still practicing, still had a beard but I was very torn and depressed internally.

 

I started looking around for a wife again, and a few months later a hijabi girl started showing interest in me. I ignored her first cuz i thought it would just be pointless, but as days went by she showed more interest in me. By this time I felt compelled to inquire more about her as she seemed to be practicing and a sincere individual. I started talking to her and liking her and then i started developing feelings for her cuz i thought she would make a good wife. Then i felt reluctant to propose to her by talking to her parents. My parents didnt want me to get married still cuz i was 22 and too young, they both hated it n thought i was not capable of being in a relationship. my . So i went ahead and proposed to her parents....only to find out how wrong I was. Her parents kind of ignored me entirely at the table just cuz i didnt bring my rents with me. Especially her dad who showed no whatsoever interest in me.

 

The girl wanted to elope but i didnt like the idea as it goes very much against our religious traditions. so i stopped her, and perhaps made the biggest mistake in my life. And then i spent the next few weeks and tried to convince my parentst to approach her parents and propose to hers on my behalf. i was working like crazy to make enough money for the wedding and to be able to support her....but a few weeks later the girl writes me an email telling me that she had accepted the proposal of her cousin and asking me for forgiveness and to forget what about our promises....and this news just ripped me apart inside out. i felt like my heart was cut into two pieces .....i got so depressed like never before that i ended up dropping university courses...to the extent that i couldnt even go to sleep on time. i started waking up late and missed a few morning shifts at work...n had too many lates at work that the companny ended up firing me. just imagine the depression that had doubled by now...

 

So i havnt been to work for almost 9 months now more or less. i feel useless at home. my parents still hate my religious life, they hate everything about me, my beard, going to masjid, etc. and heavily criticize me. i've been homesick for several months now and kinda stopped praying for almost two months. I pray only a couple of times a week...which is still going downhill. I feel soo useless, so heartless, having no feelings or desire to achieve anything in this dunya or even for akhira...that i just cant think of anything better happening for me in the near future any more. ive almost lost hope n energy to pursue my goals. the inside of me feels somewhat dead ....i feel like a living dead man....i have almostlost hope in getting married, in finishing school, striving for deen, etc. because nothing worked for me...like ever, that now im thinking about ending the misery that is my life by commiting suicide.

 

i am still a traditional muslim and believe in the quran and all..but dont know where to go or who to turn to for help....as i been thru hell countless times that i think its pointless to live anymore cuz i may end up getting into some major haram things that i always tried to abstain from, so whats the point of living if im going to get myself in those major sins anyway?

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PropellerAds

Assalamu Alaikum wr wb brother.

 

I'm very sorry to hear of the pain you are going through. You truly are struggling. The key to get through this struggle is to be patient. Once you take the path of deen you are tested and your tests are tough when your imaan is strong. The right woman will come for you inshaAllah soon. You will find another job and things will get better. Do not despair. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

My recommendation to you is focus on keeping all of your prayers, for once those are gone, things can get much worse. Secondly, read Qur'an. In it is healing for the heart and the body and your soul.

 

Please hang in there. Suicide is a great sin in itself so if you think that you want to do it to avoid getting into sins, it is a major sin itself.

 

Please turn to Allah, for you are in need of him and know that with patience, things will get better.

 

Peace

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:D

 

First of all, welcome to the Forum. May your stay here be fruitful.

 

Brother, suicide is haram. The manner in which a person commits suicide will be the manner in which he/she will keep inflicting pain on himself/herself in Hell. Heaven is closed for such a person. Do you want that for yourself? I am sure you don't want that.

 

I believe you have taken things too serious, too early in life. Marriage is only when you can afford it. If yopu try to get the hand of someone, the parents have the full right to refuse on the basis of your standing. You can't blame them for it.

 

My earnest recommendation is for you to get serious about your studies, and get into a job. Don't think of marriage. If you like someone, just tell her to wait and ask her parents if they can wait for you. Don't ask unless you deserve. So, your first priority is to deserve. :D the best girl will come to be your wife, if you are sincere.

 

Wassalam

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:D dear Brother in Islam,

 

Before I say anything, I want you to know this: Don't take my words lightly just because we've never met. Every word I say comes from the heart and make sure you know that when reading this. I don't pity you at all. In fact I admire your aspirations, and I have hope for you, and I'm sure all the Muslims on this board do too... even though you're in a stage in your life right now where you've lost that hope.

 

No last whispers just yet. I can see that you've been through a lot, but bro you need to understand that commiting suicide would NOT be a solution to your problems. Rather a cowardly escape, and you are much, much, much stronger than that, and I can tell by your words.

 

Also commiting suicide leads you straight to hell. You think you have been through hell in this life, but being dragged on your face to the midst of boiling water and a BLAST of fire...THAT is what hell is. And please know that I am only being harsh with you because I care about your wellbeing.

 

In Heaven on the other hand you will look at your future wife, and she will be so beautiful that you will be staring at her for (God I forgot how many years.) But that is probably the thing I look most forward to :D and c'mon, you can't tell me that this isn't worth living for!

 

You are an intelligent individual and you have a lot to offer. The whole world could be yours and you are soooo young! My father got married at age 30 something (don't quite remember)... and don't think this only happens in the old days. God only knows when you will get married...but don't despair because you are so young! And who wouldn't want to marry a Muslim man like you...it ain't you who's got problems...it's them! They kick you to the gutter if you don't got money? Then forget them.

 

Sure you will need to have some kinda job to support your wife and get a place to live...but that doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire. Also just because you don't have a job now doesn't mean you won't get one. You're a perfect candidate for a job these days, 25, university level, and overall a smart young man.

 

And to sweeten the whole deal, you are a Muslim! Now isn't that a cherry on top of your magnificent opportunities?

 

We all have problems, and Brother I understand what you're going through. I think everyone goes through this stage and it's only natural. Remember that just because you're having all these feelings, you are NOT weak.

 

You belong to the Muslim Ummah. It feels like you have nothing to live for...but that is something to live for all on its own. Don't lose hope because Allah Almighty has got your back. Turn to Him, make as much du'aa as possible. Get up and get a job, it won't be that hard once you get up. Take the first step because that will be the hardest one to take. But once you got that down, you're well on your way.

 

Finally, read Qur'an. It is a source of serenity and peace. I've been in situations where I've felt despair before, and I've opened the Qur'an only to find myself full of life and hope. And looking at your situation, I think you will also get that burst of life when you read our Glorious Qur'an. I know a lot of the time we look for immediate solutions. Usually there aren't many of those, but I swear to you that if you make wudu' and sit down and turn your whole heart to the Qur'an...pay FULL attention...your condition will change immediately.

 

May Allah be with you and guide you, me, and all the believers to the Straight Path. Aameen.

 

:D

Edited by Haqqul_Yaqeen

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Salam

 

You are missing the point brother.

 

You first started off stating how you didnt do very well education wise

 

And then you moved onto the points about temptation and so on

 

Bro, you can go ahead and get married, i wont tell you not to do that

 

But in my personal opinion, i believe you should focus on your education and degree. Because to be quite frank and blunt, within the desi (south asian for dont understand this term) social circle there is a very strict elitism about marrige and without a degree you dont stand much of a chance. I know this can be hard to hear, but these temptations CAN be controlled. You have to believe me. But its your life bro, you are the expert in your life and not me. But this is my personal opinion....out of personal experience.

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I'll be honest so I appologize if u dislike what i say.

IMO, your parents have a point. Education is essential for success.

The parents of the girls have an excuse to be jerks... for the sake of their daughter,they must find someone who can provide for himself and her etc. I don't blame u for being blue but suicide is definitely not the answer. U are too young and master of your own destiny. U will find some one and get married soon,but focus on education and carrer first.I would recommend finishing off your education and keeping yourself busy. Whether it's prayer or joining a faternity, working out etc, keep yourself busy. Do not cutt yourself from socialization..that's an important thing...socialization. Also, if your sleep pattern is screwed up thnen change it back. Try to make a schedule for yourself.

Make a schedule , set short term goals as what to do each day etc and regain control of your life.

Again, I am being honest and not giving u no false hope, if u push yourself enough, u can accomplish anything, it's hardcoded in us humans... :D And do not feel guilty, we are not perfect and U R being too hard on yourself. It's perfectly normal for u to desire women etc, don't be too judmental or let the guilt overtake u. Just try to take control, tryhard and if u don't make it, fine, bcaz next time u will get further until u finally do make it. U will make it, Hard coded I tell ya. :D

peace

Edited by llogical

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Salaam,

 

Im so sorry to hear all that u have gone tru and continue 2 go tru....I think this is a test of faith..dont give up on Allah for he will not give up on u.

The fact that u came here & posted about ur thoughts to commit suicide is comendible! u chose 2 seek help b4 u did it so im proud of u for that.

Like every1 has already mentioned and im sure u know, suicide is haram. Turn to Allah and u will find ur way :D

IMO, if u pray hard and see no results, then pray harder! :D

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:D

 

I will keep this SHORT AND SIMPLE.

 

Allah (s.w.t) LOVES TO TEST someone whom HE (s.w.t) gives a lot of preference too and the best indication of that is the person's troublesome, hard, torturing journey on this earth. (RASOOL (s.a.w.s) is the BEST EXAMPLE. TO us .. he (saws) is a GREAT MAN who accomplished everything in a miraculous way) but to the normal human being Rasool's life will be seen as a HUGE STRUGGLE , full of ups and down's not a single moment of rest , just the way u are saying. Rasool faced failures but it is because he pondered upon them and realised ONLY COZ OF THAT HE SUCCEEDED. THINK OF YOUR LIFE IN THE EYES OF A MUSLIM , not a HUMAN BEING ... By giving u a hard time Allah (s.w.t) is taking away so much of the punishment you would have been accounted in QIYAMAAT.

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT is that U REALISE in succeess.. in failure.. in happiness... in sadness.. u invoke only one name .. Allah (s.w.t)'s

 

I will give u a simple example. Read the stories of all the Prophets. none of them lived a good life on earth (if seen by the common eye) they were all having hardships and tortures.

 

Dude u are lucky .. so u should be thankful .. if u start to know how the sahabas and companions of the prophet lived you would be embracing ur life no matter how it treated you.

 

BE happy keep ur chin up .. and SUICIDE is a COWARDS ACT ... and the LAST thing you would want to do before leaving this life .. is have the word "COWARD" labelled on ur fore head for the people in the HERE AFTER to read.

 

:D

 

BEfore i go .. this is a line my dad told me.. : "LIFE IS JUST LIKE A TIDAL WAVE , IT HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS" - Em3

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asalamu alaykum

brother u have to set priorities in your life. the fact is without a good financial background u wont be able to lead a happy marital life. so first of all resume your education and concentrate on them fully.for whatever reasons but u made marriage as ur sole purpose in life and forgot about everything else. what is gone is gone. now stand up on ur feet. make lots of dua to Allah to make things easy for you. try to build up a career for yourself. lower ur gaze and if do vuluntary fasting as its a best way to preserve ones chastity if one is not able to get married soon. always turn to Allah for guidance and u can even talk to Allah and tell HIM ur problems. HE surely is the ALL -KNOWING , THE ALL -WISE, AR- REHMAN AR- RAHEEM. You just have to put in your 100 percent to what ever you do and put your full trust in Allah. Allah will surely help you.

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asalamu alaykum

brother u have to set priorities in your life. the fact is without a good financial background u wont be able to lead a happy marital life. so first of all resume your education and concentrate on them fully.for whatever reasons but u made marriage as ur sole purpose in life and forgot about everything else. what is gone is gone. now stand up on ur feet. make lots of dua to Allah to make things easy for you. try to build up a career for yourself. lower ur gaze and if do vuluntary fasting as its a best way to preserve ones chastity if one is not able to get married soon. always turn to Allah for guidance and u can even talk to Allah and tell HIM ur problems. HE surely is the ALL -KNOWING , THE ALL -WISE, AR- REHMAN AR- RAHEEM. You just have to put in your 100 percent to what ever you do and put your full trust in Allah. Allah will surely help you.

the following link has a situation quite similar to yours

 

(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.islamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?cid=1152715378796&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor%2FCyberCounselingE%2FCyberCounselingE"]wasted multiple opportunities[/url]

Edited by Nughair

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Wow like one other person above i must say i admire you too brother.. You`ve been though alot but you`ve never pushed Islam to the side..

 

Hey firstly dont despair, think about it you`re not the only one in agony.. To you it may seem that you`re the only unlucky individual but in actual fact there are so many others going through the same or worse situations.. When you mix in with people, explore different places and enviroments you come to know these things and it kinda lessens the pain trust me it does.. Dont lose hope, continue praying, Allah tests those whom he loves and inshallah we`ll pray for you too...

 

Good luck and make an effort to get your life back on track, you really arent gonna get anywhere like that and depression might get the worse of you.. its taken its toll alread me thinks..

 

Pain doesnt end after death (like alot of non-muslims believe) and you sure things`ll be good after commiting a major haram.. SUICIDE??? Give it a second thought actually discard it altogether! Salaams take it easy brother..

Edited by Shameela

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Al-salam alaikum dear brother

 

I too must confess that my suicidal obsessions have agonized me for the last year or so. I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and a literally demonic form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've relied on countless medications for over 5 years but to no avail.

 

I became convinced that life was no more than a curse, at least form me, far from worth living. Every aspect of my life was tormenting to say the least, including my love life. Just this week the girl I have cherished sostrongly rejected me coldly. My Iman is hanging by a thread. I can no longer perform Salaah or attend the holy Masjid. At times, I remain comforted by thoughts of death: an escape from the Dunya. I have consulted an endless number of health professionals including psychiatrists, psychotherapists, hypnotherapists, spiritual healers and even exorcists.

 

Only my my medicines/tranquilizers (pills) and my supplications manage to keep me going. I find that hope itself can be an enemy in life, but as Muslims our obligation in the Dunya is to remain steadfast and patient. Patient perseverence is the key to Paradise: The Presence of God, a blissful state wherein suffering is unheard of.

 

We must keep conscious of our great Lord and fear the consequences of our evil actions. Suicide, quite frankly, is out of the question, and is among the severest of sins punishable by Hellfire in the Hereafter. Let us follow the advice of Muhammad the Messenger of God (pbuh):

 

Consider those who are inferior to you and do not consider those who are superior to you, for this will enable you to appreciate better the favours of God. It will prevent you from despising God's favours to you.

 

And what has God to say concerning this life?

 

Do you think that you shall enter Paradise without such trials as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him cried: "When will come the help of God?" Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is always near. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:214

 

All the best and wa' salaam,

 

Yusuf

Edited by Joseph

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Selam aleykum

May Allah help you to overcome these hardships inshallah, be patient brother.

In times of despair, try to remind yourself:

when commiting suicide, one trades in the small hardships of this world for big hardships in the next.

I'm not saying your hardships are futile, but should you commit suicide, then your hardships in the next could be a lot bigger.

 

What's the point of living if you're gonna give in to major sin? My brother open your eyes, you have a choice! All you need to do is "want". That is more then enough to follow the right path. Obviously there will always be errors and mishabs, nobody 's perfect, but the idea is to strive. To keep at it. Wheter you fail or succeed, at least do as you believe is right.

May Allah inshallah guide you.

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