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I have a question for the Islamic men out there. I visited the UK last year and went to Birmingham. I reside mainly in Western Canada where there is very little tension between Muslims and Sikhs. So for me, Birmingham was a shock in terms of its conflict between the two groups. Furthermore, it was the height of summer and I had only brought along skirts that I was wearing in London, not realizing the complete cultural difference between Birmingham and London. Now, in Canada, if a guy hassles me or hits on me, I can tell him to take a hike. Well, my cousins tried to explain to me that, in Birmingham, I couldn't wear a skirt because the guys would not consider you decent. Well, I have never had a boyfriend, do not "whore around" like many conservatively dressed girld do, and set out to prove them wrong. Boy, did I ever feel dumb. In Canada, I have never experienced anyone thinking I have lesser morals because I wear a skirt (mind you, this was to the knees...not some micro-mini) In fact, I'm usually the conservative one in the crowd of girls baring their thongs, wearing tankinis, and halters. Now, to come to the part that I wanted to know about. The majority of the guys that approached me were Muslim. A lot of them were really nice and wanted to know where I was from etc. and did not mind when I turned them away from anything other than a chat. However, there was a substantial amount that were very overbearing, aggressive, and pushy. One group even followed us to the car and I, in Canada usually outspoken, was actually frightened to the extent that I did not say a word and simply went shopping the next day to buy something other than shorts or skirts that I could wear in the summer weather. Now, I'd like to know how Islam views such a thing in terms of Islamic men behaving this way towards women who are not Muslim. I know that a Muslim woman is not expected to bare her legs, arms, etc so it may have been a lesser problem. However, just because I am wearing a skirt does not give anyone the right to treat me badly. Islamic culture comes in contact with Western culture all the time so I was just wondering what's supposed to happen since Islamic men should not be coveting women who they are not married to anyway. I'm not saying other religious groups don't do this because, God knows, they do. But I was wondering if in Islam there is a differentiation in the treatment of Islamic and non-Islamic women? For example, I know in other religions, it depends on the guy and he won't care about religion usually and will approach a woman with the same attitude despite her color/race etc and base it just on dress or her make-up etc. So if she's a Christian woman wearing a skirt or a Jewish woman wearing a skirt, the skirt will make up his mind rather than the religion. According to my cousin, this harassment happens more to Sikh women. Do you feel this is the case? Why/why not? Just a completely different dynamic than I found here where I have a large number of Muslim friends and the guys treat me no different than the white girls or the Islamic girls! Any opinions?

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PropellerAds

Sat Sri Akal.. I think this will be a appropriate greeting for you :D

 

First of all, I would say welcome to the Islamic Forum.

 

Secondly, if you are here thn it must be a guidance from the Almighty Allah (SWT).

 

Thirdly, Before Reverting to Islam - I myself was a SIKH sometime ago.

 

Now I can talk on your point. Infact, if any Muslim who is indulging in these kind of acts i.e. Harassing girls etc. Thn first of all, In Islamic point of view he is a Sinner. And for this he will be caught on the Day Of Judgement.

 

In my view on the other side, ladies should dress decently so ppl should respect them.

 

I'll give u an example: If suppose there are twin sisters and both of them are going together outside BUT one sister is wearing tight clothes - revealing the whole body and on the otherside, other sister is wearing HIJAB (which is a covering of whole body, except face & hands) - Then whom do you think Boys will TEASE ?? Definitely, the girl who is wearing the Tight Clothes (includes anything like skirts etc. in general) BUT they will not like to see the girl who is wearing the HIJAB.

 

This is what Qur'an teaches:

 

Surah An-Nur (The Light)

 

30. Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do.

 

31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)

 

 

In this you can see tht Allah (SWT) has clearly mentioned to the MEN before WOMEN about lowering there gaze. So they will be sinner if there intentions are bad.

 

I think this would help you & if you have any more questions you can ask anytime.

 

May GOD bless you & put you on the right path :D

Edited by subhaanallaah

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I'm a bit surprised that skirts would draw extra attention ..see thas why I think Brits are weird :D. (Just kidding )

Old saying, The nail that sticks out gets hammered. (should've listened to the cousin caz he/she/it is a local) OR

Maybe u was in a predominantly muslin hood and since the msulim guys can't really chase the hijabiz, u got priority over the white girls :D U can say that it sucks and all but examining the the bright side of things, u got herrased, a little so take it as a compliment bcaz atleast u was worth herrassing..:D

 

Peace

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Illogical, I guess I can take it as a compliment so that's one good thing and you're right, it's always nice to have a handsome man say hello (except for the scary ones!) and I do see the argument behind modest dressing. You are right about the skimpy dressing drawing more attention. Like I said, in Canada, it's positivley conservative in some circles (especially since I was wearing a long-sleeved top!) so I didn't really think it was immodest. It was loose and not tight-fitting at all. However, when in Rome.....so yes I should have believed her. The Qu'ran does say then, that both men and women should be modest and cast their eyes downward. Therefore, it shouldn't really matter what I wore though because these men, being real Muslims, shouldn't have been looking anyway right? I just didn't think there were still Western countries where women are judged solely by what they wear (unless they're prancing around in underclothing!) and I feel the men should take responsibility for their role as well and not just pass it off as "If she wasn't wearing that, I wouldn't have....." So my next question would be...would you still consider these types of men Muslims or are they unbelievers? What about those who drink or go to the bars or smoke but were born into Islam? And do you think these types of people would have approached me the same way if I were wearing trousers?

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I just didn't think there were still Western countries where women are judged solely by what they wear (unless they're prancing around in underclothing!) and I feel the men should take responsibility for their role as well and not just pass it off as "If she wasn't wearing that, I wouldn't have....." So my next question would be...would you still consider these types of men Muslims or are they unbelievers? What about those who drink or go to the bars or smoke but were born into Islam? And do you think these types of people would have approached me the same way if I were wearing trousers?

 

You R right when u say that people shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but practically speaking, that's what people do. It's not just the muslim guys but pretty much any guy when they see a good looking girl they get like this :D I am convinced that it's hard coded into our genes. :D Being an X muslim, I know Islam teaches us to lower gaze and repress the feelings etc but sadly we often don't do that. I doubt if that solely make some one an unbeliever, sinner yes but unbeliever... I highly doubt. A smart man once said that God gave men two heads and only enough blood to use one at a time. :D :D

As for them guys u speak of, sure they were not supposed to act that way but unfortunately, We only have control over our own behavior and not others.

Trousers would probably be less conspicous and better suited to keep a low pro.

It's like this, you may not like excessive attention but there are girls who do, who like to be picked up socialize, have a good time etc. I personally don't look down on that because honestly u can do all that while still have a good character. My point is that if you draw excessive attention, ( even unknowingly) then the guys may think that you are that type of person.

thas all :D

I hope It makes sense :D

peace

Edited by llogical

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You are right about the skimpy dressing drawing more attention.

 

Temptation is an excuse for nothing. Those unable to contain their urges should be jailed. A rich man is not at fault if his riches tempt another man to rob him. A hot woman in skimpy clothing or none at all is no different.

 

If a hot naked drunk woman started grinding against me, as much as I'd like it, I'd refuse to take advantage of her (I'm stronger on my principles then anything else). That's the kind of mentality guys should be at, and the ones that aren't are complete @$$holes.

 

And do you think these types of people would have approached me the same way if I were wearing trousers?

I'd approach you - you'd be overwhelmed by my charm and there wouldn't be any need to worry :D

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Temptation is an excuse for nothing. Those unable to contain their urges should be jailed.

 

Cool, that's what I think too. In the U.A.E. (dont know about others), they actually are - for a week without trial if the girl complained to the police. What she was wearing is irrelevent but if she was drunk she would be jailed too, for being drunk in public.

Edited by Mahawi

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I have a question for the Islamic men out there. I visited the UK last year and went to Birmingham. CUT SHORT and the guys treat me no different than the white girls or the Islamic girls! Any opinions?

 

Peace,

 

just a quick question did any of these muslims seem to be religious muslims? did any have beards?

 

the reason i ask this is that in Birmingham (where i live) there seems to be a bit of an attitude problem from certain pakistani lads (mainly from north pakistan - well thier parents are from there but they are usuall born n bred in britain) and thier attitude towards you will be a bit strange in the thought that since your wearing a skirt and your asian, then it means your up for anything... i know that sounds bad but that seems to be the attitude from some of these guys however please dont take them as an example of muslims in Brum (short for Birmingham) as there are loads that simply arent like that

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I'm from Birmingham too, and know exactly what type of guys ur talking bout and where they lurk. (i shant be grassing on them by exposing their area :D) They're the kind that that own flashy cars, have no jobs and cause traffic congestion literally driving up and down the street all day EVERY busy saturday looking for prey.. :D

 

Its not really true that these guys are doing it because they have less respect for non Muslim women; most are rather wary of approaching a Muslim girl, for fear of her brother (or dad :D ) knowing him..thats not good. :D esp since desi's here tend to live all together.

 

A skirt is just different (regardless of how long it may be) from the traditional shalwar kameez, that they are so used to seeing which implies "good girl" i guess. So unfortunately it does suggest (to them) ur "up for it". Having said that, they'll try and hit on u anyway regardless of what ur wearing. A hijab cerainly doesn't repel them, in fact its seen as a novelty or a challenge.

 

Most of these guys aren't married and are quite frankly looking for a girl who they perceive is willing for a bit of um fun and to them and their bizarre thinking; a skirt or jeans makes a girl come across as westernized and therefore "keen".

 

when it comes to dress, i guess girls are damned if they do and damned if they dont :D

 

peace.

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