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Would You Marry Someone You Met Online?

would you marry someone you met online?  

171 members have voted

  1. 1. would you marry someone you met online?

    • yes
      60
    • no
      39
    • maybe
      58
    • i already did and it turned out good
      12
    • i already did but it turned out bad
      1


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PropellerAds

The article seems to be indirectly preaching........ somebody :sl:

Edited by (nawal)

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Men Charged With Raping Woman They Met On MySpace

Police Say Men Chatted With Woman Online Before Meeting

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetwmur(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/news/13333352/detail.html"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetwmur(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/news/13333352/detail.html[/url]

 

POSTED: 4:50 pm EDT May 16, 2007

 

GILFORD, N.H. -- Two men have been charged with sexual assault after police said they raped a woman they met online through a popular peer-networking site.

 

Investigators said that Ross Lindsey and Anthony Jenkins had a month-long online relationship with a 25-year-old woman before meeting her in person in Gilford over the weekend and assaulting her.

 

"The victim says she met them online at MySpace and had some conversations over the course of about a month," Cpl. Kristian Kelley said. "From there, they did meet one time, and on this night they were going to hang out together."

 

Police said that the woman spent the first part of the night in Meredith at a skate park drinking some beer. The three later went to Lindsey's home where they had another drink, police said.

 

Investigators said that the two men began groping the woman, and Jenkins later held her down on the couch while the two took turns raping her.

 

Police said that the woman told investigators that she repeatedly told the men to stop and was told that she would "get what she deserved" if she told anyone. The woman's aunt later called police.

 

"Any time you meet anybody on the Internet, it's such a big thing and so is Internet dating," Kelley said. "Not knowing someone and meeting them only one time can be a dangerous situation."

 

The men were being held on $50,000 cash bail and are scheduled to appear in court later this month.

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Online Dating - The Risks Involved

 

Although dating can be an exciting time in your life, as it infers whole new beginnings or meeting possible lifetime partners, it can also be a little bit dangerous, as you are essentially putting your trust in a stranger's hands. If you've never even met the person before, such as in a blind date or from an online source, this can be doubly true – therefore, you should take care to approach dating in the right way and be aware of the risks involved.

 

Online dating can be both good and bad in this respect. The good part comes from the fact that you've usually spoken to the person in length before meeting up, so you have a good idea of what they're like as a person. However, this is also the bad point, as anyone can make up an identity to hide behind online, and it can be far different from reality.

 

As recent US studies have shown, violent dates are on the rise, especially where younger, adolescent women are involved. With the "knowledge" that they need never see them again, many men are taking advantage of this fact and physically abusing a woman on a date, especially in the area of first dates where there is no prior history. These sad statistics also point out that unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, such as HIV and others, are on the increase because of these risks.

 

It's a sad fact, but generally, women are physically weaker than men, and this is attributed to one of the reasons why dating abuse is becoming more widespread. Although it may seem like a good idea at first, since it keeps a certain distance, online dating is one of the ways that this kind of problem is commonly used, as men can pretend to be someone they're not, and then by the time you meet them in person, it's too late. It's to this effect that local governments are recognising this fact and integrating warnings and advice into their crime fighting policies.

 

One of the ways that online dating has taken off so much is due to the normal heartache that is suffered from the breakdown of a "normal" offline relationship. Many people, especially women, see online dating as a worthwhile alternative – after all, they've not had any success offline so where's the harm in online dating? Yet this is exactly where the dangers can lie, due to world wise people taking advantage of emotionally vulnerable targets.

 

Like any kind of dating, there is always the potential of being taken for a ride, both financially and emotionally. As long as you go into it with your eyes open, and be aware that not everyone may be who they say they are, then online dating can be as satisfying and fulfilling as any other kind of dating. However, due to the anonymity of it all, you just need to exercise a little bit of extra caution. (Source: (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_ezinearticles(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/?Online-Dating---The-Risks-Involved&id=566095)"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_ezinearticles(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/?Online-Dating---...&id=566095)[/url]

 

Here are some online dating advices which may help you in safe and sound online dating.

 

Start slow. This online dating advice enables you to be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.

 

Guard your anonymity. In this part of online dating advice, never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or initial emails you exchange with other members.

 

Exercise caution and common sense. This online dating advice lets you guard against trusting the untrustworthy.

 

Request a photo. Getting a photo is a good online dating advice because it will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. However, fake photos can fool you.

 

Talk via telephone. A valuable online dating advice is talking over the phone. It can reveal much about a person's communication and social skills. Can you identify a serial killer or a serial rapist by talking over the phone?

 

Meet when you are ready. A good online dating tip is to never obligate to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. Will you be lucky enough to escape a rapist or rapists, serial killers, psychotic persons etc when you meet them?

 

If the online dating service has a chat room, you should be very careful about the information you share. Far too often, predators will lurk, portraying themselves as other singles trying to make a connection. While you want to have a good time chatting just be careful about the information talked about.

Never provide any type of personally identifiable information in your profile, e-mail messages, or chat room conversations. This information would include your name, address, city where you live, phone number, name of the company where you work, organizations that you are associated with, and so on.

Be sure you use the communication tools provided by the dating service. For instance, you want a dating service that has e-mail so you do not have to use your own personal e-mail to keep in touch with someone. In fact, many online dating services now offer IM so that too should be used rather than your personal IM account.

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Salams,

i can understand ###### with what he is trying to say. And he is absolutely right. But it doesnt happen like that all the time. I met with 2 people in real life that i knew from internet. :sl: Mashallah they are both very nice. But we should be of course careful, cuz it may be dangerous.

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Assalam alaikum

 

 

well yes I would marry the person if my shaikh (Spiritual guide) agrees to teh marriage and i am ensured about the goodness of the person .

 

Jazak Allah khair ...

 

was saalam

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Never again..

 

There is too much that is hidden from you. You don't get the REAL sense of the person thru words written online. It is nothing like dating, and getting to know how the person reacts in every situation. How the person really lives, who the friends are, and you certainly do NOT see the OTHER side of the individual online, like you do live and in person.

 

I do NOT recommend this for ANYONE...

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Never again..

 

There is too much that is hidden from you. You don't get the REAL sense of the person thru words written online. It is nothing like dating, and getting to know how the person reacts in every situation. How the person really lives, who the friends are, and you certainly do NOT see the OTHER side of the individual online, like you do live and in person.

 

I do NOT recommend this for ANYONE...

well...when you MEET this person online...and you think about marriage...

you don't have to get married immediately.

you can meet the person in the REAL LIFE ...and then decide..

 

the question is "marry someone you meet online" ...and NOT "getting married through the knowledges of that person you got to see online

so there's a difference.

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I figure that the internet is a nice place to start, but much can be concealed over the net. Such concealment, as I've heard from my relatives, could turn out to be something as tame as them giving out a fake name, to something much, much more serious, like them giving out their wrong gender. Not to dissuade you from acting on this, but in my opinion I feel that it's too big of a risk.

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You can find some really good people online.

But I think it would be too risky to marry someone you met online.

Its all based on trust, i guess

 

Safety and peace be upon all muslims.Ameen.

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well...when you MEET this person online...and you think about marriage...

you don't have to get married immediately.

you can meet the person in the REAL LIFE ...and then decide..

 

the question is "marry someone you meet online" ...and NOT "getting married through the knowledges of that person you got to see online

so there's a difference.

 

 

I still do not recommend it at all.........

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:sl:

what ever Allah has written will happen... :no:

 

Totally agree :sl: .

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No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.

 

 

 

 

aakwrAllahwbHu

 

 

 

I met a Shia girl some seven years back, but it didn't work out.

 

I met another girl some twenty months back, and both of us do intend to marry. And what Allah AWJ Wills.

 

Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.

 

 

 

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi

there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;

there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.

Edited by AsadullahHamza

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Asslamu alikum ,,

 

I voted " Maybe " because it depends on the person , but I would prefer the traditional way or at least someone I know very well even if it is online because I can't trust whom I meet on the internet , especially when it comes to the deen .

 

 

what ever Allah has written will happen.

 

True :sl:

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No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.

 

 

aakwrAllahwbHu

 

 

I know it is an indispensable need to make sure everything is in order, and I am not advocating recklessness, but the fact remains that even a near-perfect past does not guarantee an agreeable future.

 

There are benefits and drawbacks both the ways. I have known a case or two where extensive spying has been availed of in each of the two methods. I have known cases where minimal inquiries have been made. In the end, it comes down to playing your own part. :-)

 

 

 

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi

there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;

there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.

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To marry an online contact,one (usually) needs to chat for extensively long hours before finally deciding.Haram and dangerous.I hope not to commit that.

 

Though the final act of marriage may be halaal,the process mostly is haram.

Edited by In War with me

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No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.

 

 

 

aakwrAllahwbHu

 

 

 

Twice have I have managed to land myself in an online relationship, and, alhamdulillah, I believe it is second time lucky for me. Nor has anything worthy of censure transpired, alhamdulillah. :sl:

 

 

 

Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.

 

 

 

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi

there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;

there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.

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if it is not allowed in Islam then i guess i will not ...my answer would be maybe ,,,personally i support it rather then traditional marriage happening in Islamic countries all these years.... because over here you get to communicate with the person nd discuss comparability issue ....infact i think this option is more halal then meeting the girl physically but people should be careful over searching a partner the internet as u dont know who is the person really is...

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I know through many ways,how online love can be dangerous and threat to one's morale.Its too glamorous.Even recently, one of close relative became a victim of online love and she did stupid stupid things to marry that guy.The guy ,in fact,is a fraud. But infatuation is blind isn't it. Please pray that her eyes should be opened.

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No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.

 

 

 

aakwrAllahwbHu

 

 

asifsabir says:

 

if it is not allowed in Islam then i guess i will not ...my answer would be maybe ,,,personally i support it rather then traditional marriage happening in Islamic countries all these years.... because over here you get to communicate with the person nd discuss comparability issue ....infact i think this option is more halal then meeting the girl physically but people should be careful over searching a partner the internet as u dont know who is the person really is...

 

In my case, the second time around, both of us got to know each other's ideas and inclinations extremely well before love cast its net on us. She is not a Muslim, and yet she is one of the few girls with whom I share any kind of rapport when it comes to God and religion. Would this have been possible in real life? I doubt, but Allah AWJ Alone knows His Ways. Alhamdulillah.

 

 

Sister In War with me says:

 

I know through many ways,how online love can be dangerous and threat to one's morale.Its too glamorous.Even recently, one of close relative became a victim of online love and she did stupid stupid things to marry that guy.The guy ,in fact,is a fraud. But infatuation is blind isn't it. Please pray that her eyes should be opened.

 

I do believe that "stupid things," frauds, and infatuation have not been assigned to the domain of the world wide web alone. May Allah AWJ grant your relative that which she seeks and that which is the best. Alhamdulillah. :sl:

 

 

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil aalameen.

 

 

 

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi

there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;

there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.

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^ My intention was not to criticize your act or anything.I hope you dont misunderstand. But you seem to commend internet relationships.I dont support that (online relationships).But there are cases,isolated cases. But Allah is the judge.I hope our affairs and hearts are kept clean. ameeen

 

May Allah AWJ grant your relative that which she seeks and that which is the best.

 

Ameen! I pray her heart in set in pleasing her Rabb,ameen.

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No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.

 

 

 

aakwrAllahwbHu

 

 

^ My intention was not to criticize your act or anything.I hope you dont misunderstand.

 

And I do not misunderstand you, my dear sister, alhamdulillah!! :sl:

 

 

But you seem to commend internet relationships.I dont support that (online relationships).But there are cases,isolated cases. But Allah is the judge.

 

Let's put it this way: I don't suggest that people should get online and go on a spouse-hunt. In my case, both (my relationships) began unintentionally-- one failed while Allah AWJ blessed the other. Yes, I do consider myself unbelievably lucky to have found the wonderful girl I am with, but I also accept that things are according to Allah's Will and not ours, so it could have been another failed relationship, and it can still be -- Allah Alone knows the future.

 

As for dangers, I just pointed out that dangers exist in the virtual world as well as the real world -- nowhere is one "safe" from being "tested".

 

 

I hope our affairs and hearts are kept clean. ameeen

 

Ameen! I pray her heart in set in pleasing her Rabb,ameen.

 

Mashallah..may Allah AWJ also alleviate your suffering on her account!! Aameen!! :sl:

 

 

Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.

 

 

 

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,

la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi

there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;

there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.

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QUOTE(salwa [at] Mar 2 2007, 02:46 PM) *

alsalamu 'alaikom,

 

If marrying someone I found out about online is what Allah has for me then I obide with acceptance and gratitude.

 

But there are many conditions to the "meeting":

 

1- That we never contact eachother online. This only in the most brings about fitnah. If for some people it worked then those incedents are exceptions, and in the deen you cant build rules on exceptions.

 

2- That my mahram is aware in the first place that I am looking, and he has the way to check on me when ever he wants.

 

3- That no photos, or personal contact is exchanged. If the brother wants to see me then he comes for a lawful sighting with my muhram present.

 

4- That no promises are made until we see eachother.

 

sl.gif

 

but unfortunately very few people follow these conditions.....

 

Already mentioned. Completely agree.

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