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Personal Statement

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Assalamu alaykum warahmatullah

 

Below i have pasted my Personal statement. This is a statement which will be going to the University Admissions officer and needs to relate to the chosen degree. I have done many drafts and here is my latest one. I would welcome feedback from all, negative or positive. Please do take the time to help me in this process, i would like as many people to view it as possible insha'Allah.

 

Okay here goes:

 

My ambition is to continue my education, full time at your university to study Human Psychology. I have a long lasting interest in Psychology because I find it very stimulating and fascinating. I consider it as an indispensable subject in which there is a wealth of information still to be uncovered.

 

Having enjoyed my A levels, I have participated in many extra curricular activities which has furthered my commitment to people and Psychology.

 

I worked at ******** Primary School with children aged 4 & 5 in year 10. I participated in many activities such as spatial awareness, games and handwriting. This experience taught me patience is important when working with children and it also activated my academic interest in behaviour.

 

In 2003/04 I was awarded the Geography Award for demonstrating, commitment, enthusiasm and outstanding work to my lessons.

 

By taking part in the Financial Literacy Project based at Connexions in February 2004, I increased my awareness of finance and good spending. In 2005 I joined the Young People’s Reference Group in conjunction with Connexions. As a group, we discuss issues relevant to us and give our verdicts on forthcoming policies and procedures. This has improved my team building skills and I have developed a sense of belonging.

 

The International Children’s Games at ********* University in 2005 where I volunteered, enabled me to play a vital role in assisting with the smooth running and organisation of the premier sporting event in the city of *********. I provided reassurance, advice and acted as a point of contact to the delegates. At the Volunteer Training Event held at ********* University, I learnt about good practice, child protection in Sport, understanding the games, customer care, problem solving and decision making.

 

One of my hobbies includes Kick Boxing. I was awarded the red belt in 2005. I have learned strength is mandatory in this sport. It has also increased my self-confidence immensely and I can work both as part of a team and independently successfully.

 

I participated in the Year 12 Global Citizenship conference held in June 2006. I was allocated the role of Team Leader for my group. I obtained a practical insight into our global responsibilities and how Disaster Management works. It was a spectacular day where I worked with a variety of people from a range of schools. As a result I developed my skills of negotiation, sharing ideas, discussion and problem solving.

 

In June 2006 I began volunteering at the largest Oxfam store in England. I work on the shop floor assisting the staff and providing a service to the public. This has helped to widen my intercommunication skills.

 

My first job was working as a Casual Supervisory assistant for ********* ****** School. I worked part time maintaining a healthy and clean environment for students to have their lunch. This position improved my self confidence and I learnt the value of taking responsibility which has enabled me to be more independent.

 

I feel I am prepared to take on further challenges and opportunities and I’m looking forward to broaden my knowledge on my future career at your university. I would welcome you giving me the chance to further my ambition.

 

 

*********=personal information that the reader cannot have access to but it shall be included in the final version of my statement insha'Allah

 

Once again,i welcome any feedback insha'Allah.

Wa alaykumus salam warahmatullah

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PropellerAds

Salaam,

 

I hope you are all in good health,inshallah.

 

I think your personal statement is very good Sia sis,mashallah.

 

I feel you have an exceptionally wide range of skills which will really stand out to the admissions tutors,but I feel you could talk about Psychology more

 

I would ask your teacher on the more Psychology bit,and see what they think?

 

What do you think sis?

 

The best thing to do is to show your Psychology teacher ,and maybe a few other teachers,but mainly the Psychology teacher,this is a must sis, as they have a better knowledge of Psychology then your other teachers.

 

You can ask your Psychology teacher what they think of your statement,and if it shows you are capable of pursing a degree in Psychology.

 

Also in your Psychology class ask some class mates for their view,and ask them if they think your personal statement shows you are suited to a degree in Psychology.

 

I was told to include a bit of information about my other subjects like normal maths,extra maths and physics A level.

 

So I would ask your Psychology teacher if that is nessary for you?

 

I hope this would work,its worth a try,go to your local uni,see if you can get hold of a Psychology lecturer and ask them what they think of your statement?

 

Also mention any background reading you have done,on the subject,like from a news paper or book or even from a T.V. channel?

 

Inshallah you will get offers from the Unis you have appied for. :D

 

 

The most important things are highlighted.

 

Try get a family member to read it and comment on it.

 

I have tried to think of as many things as possible that could help you,inshallah if I think of any more,I'll let you know sis.

W/s

Edited by Aaqib Ahmed

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:D / Peace to all,

 

Dearest Sis, Masya'Allaah impressive PS. I am not sure if you have any limitations on the number of words, but, here are some feedback from me. Brother Aaqib has covered Masya'Allaah much of the things already...

 

I have a long lasting interest in Psychology because I find it very stimulating and fascinating.

How? Why? What is so stimulating? Perhaps stating your observations related to this field can help make this statement stronger...

 

I consider it as an indispensable subject in which there is a wealth of information still to be uncovered.

Can you identify the gap here? If you can that would be great. It will reflect that you really know what you are talking about...

 

All your activties are very impressive, but, if you can relate it to the field of Psychology it would be good.

 

Also, if you can show the university, how, during your involvement in these activities, you found the need to learn about Psychology. Perhaps some problems that you would be able to solve better if armed with the knowledge of this field. This would re-emphasized your points of your need to learn psychology.

 

I hope my comments would somehow help you a little bit, Insya'Allaah...

 

Sis Zabrina

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Salaam,

 

Zabrina sis,has given great advice there mashallah. :D

 

There is a limit,to stop people like me writing a whole book worth of stuff,if there wasn't a limit I would prob go on writing my life story,lol.

 

The limit is 4000 characters with space from what I've heard.

I have used 3998 characters.

 

I checked your p.s. on my word it is roughly 3220 characters,maybe a bit less or more depending on the words covered by the stars,I would say use all or most of the characters sis,so you can sell yourself to the fullest.You could use the remaining characters to talk more about Psychology.

 

All the best sis. :D

W/s

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