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emel

How To Avoid The Handshake?

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:D

 

I am often in situations where I am extended a hand by a member of the opposite gender as a form of greeting.

 

Alhamdulillah whilst most of the time I just place my hand on my heart and say nice to meet you, sometimes the other person visibly takes offence to my not reciprocating the handshake.

 

Please share any useful tips you may have, for better handling this situation or any ways to avoid the handshake all-together.

 

:D

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PropellerAds

asalamu alaikum

 

it is a sticky situation

 

but ultimately u rather displease man than displease Allah

 

as far as ideas - a doctor friend told me - keep ur hands occupied

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:D

 

you can tell them that you don't shake hands with the opposite sex and say sorry. i saw few brothers in new york do it. i usually shake hands and get over it. i don't think it's too big of a deal...

 

:D

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:D

 

yep, did u see the recent AMAZING race episode (first episode) the two muslim friends said they dont shake hands with women when the women contestants met them..

 

all you have to be is nice and say "i am sorry but i cant shake your hand"

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If you refuse to shake hands then some people can take offence because you seem to be saying that they are 'dirty', even if this isn't the case(they can't tell what's going on in your head after all). It can feel quite insulting, like when a shop clerk goes to great lengths to avoid touching your hand when he gives you your change.

 

I would suggest using other forms of respectful gestures. Placing your hand on your heart, taking off your hat or bowing are all good ways to show respect without causing offence.

But people are always likely to take offence if you refuse contact. For instance many Europeans will insist on the hand shake and two kisses on the cheeks. If you give them one kiss then they won't let go until you give them the second.

 

I would suggest making your respectful gesture(whatever it is) before they put their hand out to shake. That way they are more likely to respond in a similar non contact manner.

 

Ofcourse, so long as they are reasonable people then saying "I don't shake hands with women for religious reasons" then they should be accomodating, but you can't avoid giving them a deep psychological impression of you in the first few seconds, before you've had a chance to explain.

 

~PEace

~RN

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Salaams

If some one is wearing a hijab or has a foot long beard then not shaking hands can be understood as the people can put 2 and 2 together and understand that it must be conservatism etc.

On a different note...pretending to block a sneeze right before meeting someone may save the day :D ..bcaz most people won't extend their hand to a sneezer. :D

Peace

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Salam

When you meet someone, just greet them briefly and get straight into business or do something to end the greeting episode quickly. If i dont plan to hand shake with someone, I say hi and smile (very briefly) as soon as I see them (maybe they are still 10-15 feet away). By the time they get close to me, I am finished with greeting and start discussing serious issues. If you've got nothing serious to discuss, just start asking them question about their car, family or anything boring to distract the person's attention before they get close to you. Your body gesture and movements (e.g. not standing up if you are sitting or not walk to them to greet them) can do the job as well.

Edited by Mo999

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Don't stress it.

 

This law was created by posessive men who wanted to keep their women on lock-down.

 

I'm pretty sure you won't be going to hell over a handshake.

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Peace

 

I think this is kind of ridiculous in modern times. I mean whats the harm in a handshake? If you dont shake a person's hand he is going to think Islam is some kind of backwards religion.....so think of the impressions you will make on people. People will ridicule muslims even more. Besides Im sure you wont jump into bed with a member of the opposite sex just because you've shaken their hand.

 

Peace

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:D

 

Please share any useful tips you may have, for better handling this situation or any ways to avoid the handshake all-together.

 

:D

 

Say the salam orally. If he insists with the handshake, say: "I have all the respect for you, but I can't shake you hands, simply because the best of human beings, Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) never had a handshake with a [foreign] woman".

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What exactly is wrong with shaking the hand of a woman????

 

 

Nothing at all.

 

But apparently it's a problem to those who believe in oppressing women.

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:D Sister Emel

If they approach you with a handshake a nod should be okay, well that's what I do some do feel offended but I explain to them why and they seem to understand. Gotta keep it halal...always! :D

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:D

 

Thank you sister Mina and all those with useful tips. InshaAllah I shall try to employ a method that causes the least embarassment and awkwardness. I think the method I currently use is adequate although I should probably initiate the greeting rather than waiting for the hand to be offered and then leaving the person 'hanging' so to speak.

 

Br Anthony: JazakaAllahu kheyran for your honest thoughts, however I must repectfully disagree. It isn't really a matter of backwardness or being 'in with the times'. If one were to falter at each hurdle with their deen everytime someone has labeled an action 'backwards' or 'not with the times' we would have altered a great deal of what our Beloved Prophet :D taught us through his tradition.

 

Moreover, on the issue of hand-shaking, according to the opinion of all four madhaahib, it is impermissable to shake hands with members of the opposite gender without a barrier. As I am a follower of traditional Islamic scholars, I tend to agree with this opinion and try to implement it to the best of my ability in my daily life.

 

Please refer to the following text from Sunnipath:(www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_qa.sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=6292&CATE=3600"]Shaking Hands with a Non-Mahram[/url]

 

This by all means, does not make it an easy act to abstain from, especially in a society which views the handshake as the common polite form of greeting someone. My intention with this post was to hear other Muslim's suggestions regarding how best to avoid the handshake without hurting the feelings of the person greeting you.

 

Abaddon: It really has nothing to do with oppressing women. Both men and women are advised not to invade the personal space of members of the opposite gender in Islam. To those who are comfortable with physical contact between people of the opposite gender, I can understand how this would seem a bit of an alien concept, but Islamic principles place a great deal of importance on limiting personal contact between the opposite genders.

 

Thank you again for your suggestions :D

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Peace

 

But apparently it's a problem to those who believe in oppressing women.

 

Muslim men are also not supposed to shake a woman's hand, and a muslim woman is not supposed to shake a man's hand.... How is this opressing women?

 

Peace

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Peace

Muslim men are also not supposed to shake a woman's hand, and a muslim woman is not supposed to shake a man's hand.... How is this opressing women?

 

Peace

 

Not oppressing, but is that a specific Islamic rule? Or is it just a traditional thing? I'm aware that it's not allowed while you still have ablution, but didn't know this was all around not allowed on regular interaction?

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:D

 

Not oppressing, but is that a specific Islamic rule? Or is it just a traditional thing? I'm aware that it's not allowed while you still have ablution, but didn't know this was all around not allowed on regular interaction?

 

Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).

 

'The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.'

 

Also read the full answer here: (www.)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_www.Islam-qa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?ref=2459&ln=eng&txt=shaking%20hands"]ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex[/url]

 

Wa'ssalaam

Edited by Mahid

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Islanonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

 

Thanks for your question, we implore Allah to guide us all to the best and to reward us all for whatever we do for His sake.

 

The basic rule is that Muslims should avoid shaking hands with members of the opposite sex unless they find themselves in an awkward situation. The issue is primarily governed by one's own conscience.

 

Responding to the question, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Mukhtar Al-Shinqiti, director of the Islamic Center of South Plains, Lubbock, Texas, states the following:

 

There are two common hadiths concerning shaking hands with the opposite sex. In the first hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, "I do not shake hands with women" (Al-Bukhari).

 

The second hadith is narrated on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), he said, "The female slave from Madinah would take hold of the hand of Allah's Messenger and lead him wherever she wished, without withdrawing her hands from his hands until the Prophet fulfils her need" (Ahmad).

 

Based on the two hadiths, we conclude that the basic rule discourages shaking hands with members of the opposite sex, but if one were put in an awkward situation, then there would be no harm to shake hands with members of the opposite sex. This ruling applies to Muslims living in the West because of the social customs prevailing in these countries.

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Islanonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

 

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

 

Dear questioner, we are greatly pleased to receive your question which shows the confidence you place in us. May Allah reward you abundantly for your interest in knowing the teachings of Islam!

 

Originally, the best option when it comes to shaking hands among members of the opposite sex is that one avoids doing so; especially when there are any moral qualms about it.

 

In case, there is no fear of temptation, and at the same time shaking hands is a customary practice in a certain society or community, then one may get over with it. The issue is, by and large, judged by one’s conscience.

 

Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states the following:

 

This is one of those issues one should decide based on one’s conscience and the circumstances. It is best for us to avoid shaking hands with members of the opposite sex in case there are any moral qualms about it. It is best that we do what our conscience tells us; we can always explain our position later.

 

If, however, you are okay with it, and there is nothing to suggest a source of temptation, then you may just get over with it, especially in a society or group where it is a custom. The latter would be the case if we are dealing with societies where shaking hands with everyone, regardless of male and female differences, is customary.

 

It is in the last mentioned case that even some of the jurists of the early times considered shaking hands with females as permissible, provided there is no temptation factor involved. Imam Ibrahim An-Nakh`ie was of this view, as is reported from him.

 

So decide for yourself; if it bothers you, then don’t do it. But if you are faced with a society where it is considered strange and unfriendly not to do so, then just do it and get over with it.

 

Having said this, however, I must rush to add that in Islamic societies nurtured by the sound teachings of Islam, it should not pose a problem for you if you were to refuse to shake hands with men. For in this case, the latter rather than the former, is the norm.

 

Peace

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:D

 

Abaddon: It really has nothing to do with oppressing women. Both men and women are advised not to invade the personal space of members of the opposite gender in Islam. To those who are comfortable with physical contact between people of the opposite gender, I can understand how this would seem a bit of an alien concept, but Islamic principles place a great deal of importance on limiting personal contact between the opposite genders.

 

 

Here in America and in much of the world, the handshake is not considered an invasion of privacy. In fact, many might feel insulted if a handshake is refused. But what's the difference between shaking the hand of someone of the same gender and shaking the hand of someone of the opposite gender? Nothing bad is gonna happen.

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:D

 

 

heres what i do .........also am i correct by saying this?

 

 

 

when a women tries to shake my hand........i just say

 

im sorry, im muslim, in my religion as a sign of resepct, we believe you shouldnt go around and place your hands on women.....and i end with , i hope im not being rude

 

 

 

is that a legit answer?

 

 

thats what i say and i never had a problem.....this 1 time, i had my hand in front of my body and some lady extended her arm to shake my hand, ( i did feel wierd ) but i pulled my arm away but she still tried to follow my hand like i had $100,000 in it hahahaha.......i even did that in a job interview and they respected what i said and i still got the job :D

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Peace

Muslim men are also not supposed to shake a woman's hand, and a muslim woman is not supposed to shake a man's hand.... How is this opressing women?

 

Peace

 

 

I don't see men wearing burqas.

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I don't see men wearing burqas.

 

 

i dont see priest covering themselves up?

 

(if you dont get it i mean nuns do)

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I don't see men wearing burqas.

 

Peace,

 

If you would kindly remain on topic, it would be much appreciated :D

 

Thank you

 

With peace

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