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Alikhlas999

You might be a redneck Muslim...

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You might be a redneck Muslim...

 

1. If you say "Assalam Alaiykum ya'll."

2. If you tip you hat when you say "Assalam Alaiykum ya'll."

3. If you put your boots back on after salat.

4. If your thobe is a camouflage color.

5. If you hunt between magrib and Isha.

6. If you fish, swim, bath, and perform wudu in the same body of water.

7. If you prefer to pray outside your trailer.

8. If you think the greatest jihad is praying maghrib during WWF Wrestling.

9. If you think the greatest jihad consists of spraypainting "Allah Akbar" on a water tower.

10. If you ever wonder why the Jerry Springer Show hasn't called you yet.

11. If you eat possum or squirrel at your family's Eid Al-Fitr dinner.

12. If you can't make up your mind between listening to George Strait or Sheik Hamza Yusuf.

13. If you think the next movie about the life of the Prophet(pbuh) should be a Western.

14. If you've ever said "takbeer" during a rodeo, tractor pull, or wrestling match.

15. If you distribute Qur'ans at your fireworks stand or yard sale."

16. If you've ever worn your belt over your thobe.

17. If you can't wait until KFC chicken becomes zabia.

18. If your regular dua includes your cow, your crops, and your drunk relatives.

19. If your Masjid is surrounded by pick-up trucks during Jummah.

20. If your Masjid is the back room of Benny's All U Can Eat BBQ.

21. If the FBI surrounded your trailer park and took Abu Bakr Smith in for questioning.

22. If your mobile home tilts forward when you perform your daily prayers.

23. If your town gets a new Masjid, and you have to help take the wheels off it.

24. If a refrigerator or washing machine sits in front of your Masjid.

25. If the reading material on your coffee table includes "Hunting and Fishing" and is underneath the Qur'an.

26. If your reversion story includes the KKK, a minister, a bar incident, or a hunting accident.

27. If your wife's hair can't stay put in a hijab.

28. If your closest friend is Joe Bob "Abdul Rahman" Edwards.

29. If you catch yourself saying "Oh, no, brother that's haram" everytime he's near Jack Daniels.

30. If your name is Bubba, and you've changed it to Bubba Ali.

31. If a prayer hangs outside and inside your outhouse door.

32. If you think Mecca is someplace in Mississippi.

33. If you're banned from the county picnic for distributing Qur'ans illegally.

34. If you wonder whether naming a dog "Abdul Majid" is sacriligious.

35. If you're waiting for Wal-Mart to sell kufis and thobes.

36. If you've ever asked your Imam if monster truck rallies are halal.

37. If you've ever worn a cowboy hat over your kufi.

38. If you'd buy a kufi that has race car stripes along the sides.

39. If you swear that Jefferson Davis was really a misunderstood Muslim.

40. If you've ever gotten into a fist fight in a laundromat over something Islam-related.

41. If your Imam gives a lecture against pouching, and you know he's referring to you.

42. If you explain Tawheed by insisting that you can really only have one Dad.

43. If you explain original sin by insisting that you don't deserve to go to jail for your Uncle Roy's stupidity.

44. If you've ever made a do-it-yourself prayer rug with duct tape.

45. If you say "Bismillah" before chopping wood, plowing a field, or milking a cow.

46. If you've ever driven a tractor to a Masjid.

47. If you've ever said, "Hurry ya'll Iqama!"

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PropellerAds

A redneck is a term for a backwards country person in the USA.

 

39. If you swear that Jefferson Davis was really a misunderstood Muslim.

 

Funny stuff :D

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A redneck is a term for a backwards country person in the USA.

 

Hei!

 

Dey ain't "backwards", dey is jes poor. :D

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Salaam Alaykum

 

21. If the FBI surrounded your trailer park and took Abu Bakr Smith in for questioning.

 

 

:D

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL i loved that one..... (w00t)

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Assalamualaikum

 

LOL :D Enjyed reading that :D

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