Jump to content
Islamic Forum
Sign in to follow this  
Redeem

Signs, Ads And Headlines

Recommended Posts

Here are a few miswritten ads, signs and headlines. They're funny because the way they're written gives them completely different meanings.

 

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

 

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

 

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

 

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

 

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

 

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

 

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

 

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

 

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

 

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

 

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

 

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

 

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

 

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

 

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."

 

Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

 

Sign in a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."

 

Real headlines in newspapers:

 

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

 

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

 

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

 

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

 

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

 

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

 

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

 

Funny classified ads by a newspaper that kept messing up a man's ad:

 

(Monday) FORE SALE - R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

 

(Tuesday) NOTICE - We regret having erred in R. D. Jone's ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for sale. Cheap: 555-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him after 7 p.m.

 

(Wednesday) NOTICE - R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in his classified ad yesterday. His ad stands corrected as follows: FOR SALE - R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 555-0707 and ask Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.

 

(Thursday) NOTICE - "I, R. D. Jones, have NO sewing machine for sale. I SMASHED IT. Don't call 555-0707, as the telephone has been disconnected. I have NOT been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit."

 

Salam.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds
hah those are funny.. thanks for sharing sis

 

yeh shukran

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Asalaamu aleykum,

 

Those are hilarious sister !!

 

I got this picture a few weeks ago from my mom about a sign in a grocery store, but lost it..I found it on another site , :

 

######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetguy-sports(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/fun_pictures/children_puppy.jpg[/img]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

looooooooooooool my heart almost stopped laughing, I really found it hard to breathe!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Clark Kent was sitting in his office when an Italian guy has approached him and asked: “at what time did you change� Perplexed and with a suffocated voice Clark said: “what do you mean� The guy replied: “your shift, at what time did you change your shift�

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamu Alaykom

 

LOL!! :sl:

 

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. "

 

:sl: :no: :j:

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

Salaams.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

 

Haha, I loved those, so funny! Thanks :sl:

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

 

Lol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

hhaah OMg those were hillarious!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamualikum,

 

Hahahahahahahahah I can't stop laughing hahahahahaha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

around a picture of dandelions on a shirt it said: "I fought the lawn and the lawn won me."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[iframe]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetengrish(contact admin if its a beneficial link)//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/listen-to-mee.jpg[i'm not allowed to use this tag yet]

 

From Japan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×