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Aaqib Ahmed

*_spouse Wanted_*

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:sl:

 

*_Spouse Wanted_*[using large font size is not allowed]

 

Title is quite catchy don't you think?

What qualities should we look for in a potential spouse?

Beauty?Age?Status?

Well do those qualities stay on and on forever and ever.No right?

As we get old beauty fades.As life goes on we age.Duh!

And worldly status, will it company us in our graves?

So my dear friends what are the wonderful qualities one should look for?

The primary quality, number one aspect to look for is?

Well lets read a hadith and see for ourselves what the most important quality is shall we?

 

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him quotes the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser." [using large font size is not allowed](Reported by Al-Bukhari)

 

So brothers and sisters, from that Hadith, what would you say is the primary quality to look for in a spouse?

It's clearly religion right?

Why religion out of all the other qualities?

Well according to my definition of a good spouse, religion plays a pivotal role.Check this out:

 

A good spouse is one who assists the other spouse in their DEEN and their DUNYA~Aaqib

 

Wouldn't you agree?

Marriage is a 2 way traffic between the husband and wife.Give and take, take and give.Marriage is the joining of petals that make up one rose.It is an engagement of the two families.It strengthens the bonds within the Ummah, making them as tight as rope.It completes half your DEEN.It is a life commitment and not merely one for a week or shall I say a month!

*MARRIAGE 30 DAY TRIAL*

If only! In reality things are a tad bit different ain't they?

Right back to the DEEN and DUNYA concept.What's the primary purpose of us living on earth?

Earning money money money?Fame?Getting a good job?

 

I have only created Jinns and men, that they may worship [using large font size is not allowed](or serve) Me. [surah 51 Verse 56]

 

REALLY??

Does that ring a bell wait door bell or click something inside?

No?

Ok, well it states DEEN should be the primary efforts in our life.And worldy affairs should be secondary.

Ever heard the phrase--Deen before Dunya?

Meaning, live your life so your DEEN is the foundation and the DUNYA is simply the branches of the tree.

While DEEN is the trunk.

Back to the topic.

So basically what I'm saying is there should be a balance,yes balance of DEEN and DUNYA!!

Say there is a bird, your the bird.One wing is DEEN and the other is DUNYA.If our DUNYA outweighs our DEEN then will we keep our Iman high and keep flying on the straight journey ahead?No right?

We'll collapse and fall down,agree? Think about it!

 

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil." (Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others and classed as Hasan)

 

Subhanallah such a high rank given to piety and character, what you think my friends?

 

In conclusion, if given the choice between 2 or more potential spouses, one's religion should be given more preference then the other qualities when selecting a potential spouse.

I wouldn't want to go against the Hadith, would you?

 

Jazakallah Khayr for reading!

 

Reminder To Myself Aswell As Others

 

Written by Aaqib K. AHmed

 

######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetenflower(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/images/happyflowers_2112.jpg[/img]

 

:sl:

Edited by Aaqib Ahmed

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The Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) ask men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children. He said:

 

"Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah's laws."

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Salamu alaykum,

 

great article Aaqib :sl: really enjoy it.

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:sl:

 

The Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) ask men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children. He said:

 

"Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah's laws."

 

:j: for sharing brother.

 

I'll find a place for that in my article above :no:

 

:sl:

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hahha i love this topic

i completley agree

 

The Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) ask men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children.

yeah i see many religious guys that screwed up marying a non religious women

selam

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Asalaam Alaikum Waramatullahi

 

:no: for reading sis. :j:

 

I have seen some cases where one spouse is pious and the other is not so.Then through one's character this helped the other one to build their faith.

Likewise I've seen the opposite case too.

 

May Allah give us someone who's best for us,ameen.

 

It's all good saying I want to marry ____ or you want to marry someone but at the end of the day.It all comes down to this thing right?

 

What Allah Wills..

 

3 Golden Words in my view. :sl:

 

:sl:

Edited by Aaqib Ahmed

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Asalaam Alaikum Waramatullahi

 

:no: for reading sis. :j:

 

I have seen some cases where one spouse is pious and the other is not so.Then through one's character this helped the other one to build their faith.

Likewise I've seen the opposite case too.

 

May Allah give us someone who's best for us,ameen.

 

It's all good saying I want to marry ____ or you want to marry someone but at the end of the day.It all comes down to this thing right?

 

What Allah Wills..

 

 

3 Golden Words in my view. :sl:

 

:sl:

salaam...

yesterday i read two posts , one was from a sister who has a one year old son and her husband is visiting miami soon and she accidentally saw that huibby had been searching for prostitution sites on the net....she was hurt and was asking for duaa' as well as advice...

the other post was by a sister who said some new , "marrigae revolution " site was over the net these days and that it harolded good news for marriages and "wishing to marry" ones....

...i have been married 5 times..to syrian,turk-uzbek, american ex-jewish now muslim, russian and pakistani...and i nearly got married to 2 more, an arab and an american...

the reason, i think, for marriages failing is that women will ask the whole world for advice about thweir spouse, before they ask him...

when there is a contract of trust...and marriage is exactly that...the person who goes around asking the neighborhood/world for advice regarding his/her spouse, breaches that contract before the spouse....and this is true for nearly all women...

the more people they ask for advice, the more 'contaminated' their brains/hearts become against their spouse and the result is chaos...

salaam.

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it is the blind faith and trust in another human being that is what wed-lock or marriage means...and that is why rasoolukllah alaih assalaam said,"get married, it completes your imman"..also he said, "2 nawafil of a married man are equivalent to 70 nawafil of an unmarr8ied man"(translations of alaih assalaatu vassalaam's words aboive are not accurate)...and deen is the living in dunya according to the laws prescribed for behaving with men.women,rich,poor,neighbor,stranger,enemy,friend

in war at peace,in famine, in wealth,in traveling ,while at home, in health and in sickness...deen and dunya are not seperate entities...they are sperate in religions but the madhab/science of Islam makes them one..they are one...they are not 2..aaqib i hope i said what i wished understandably...

and in a marrigae the spiritual tests are exponential(multiple)..she shares your washroom,bed, kitchen,home,nmae,fame,and mind&soul...and you dont even know her(till lter in the marriage)..so if you treat her by the book(quran)..then each moment you are ascending a rung up the spiritual ladder that leads to jannah/Allah's guest house for those chosen to travel the journey of getting closer and closer to the limitless entity of Allah....that is why marriage is such a big deal in Islam anmd that is why the rasool married 13 times and that is why he said,"if u wish to ask of a man's ikhlaaq..ask his/her spouse"

i am single...pleae pray that i get married to a lady who has been through various cutltures and thus has the knowledge to understand my cmplexly straight and forthright philosphy for life..(amen)

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:sl:

Jazakallahu Kheirun brother! very nicely written! Nowadays I am attracted to articles on marraige and spouse etc. I guess because of the fact that I just recently got engaged ...Did I tell you that? :no: It happened almost a month ago :j: !! I never planned it and it all just happened. Mashallah he is a very pious and kind hearted person. I am soo excited heheh :D! Before him, I wasn't even the least concerned about topics pertaining to marriage....

Anywhoos I also strongly agree with bro Abdulkhaleel's argument. Its the exact same thing my fiance told me coz he said that the more people you involve the more opinions and advices you get, and people tend to advise based on their experiences and stereotypes. Everyone is different and who knows that one characteristic that is considered faulty in you by the majority might be the one that makes you special to your spouse. He said that it just creates suspicion in one's mind and you somehow begin to weaken the special bond you have coz you are no longer the first person the other consults...Besides whats the point of being in a relationship if you go around asking other people how to run it instead of the partner himself/herself...and the way he put it made a lot of sense. It goes for every relationship also I think, that direct discussion is much better at resolving the conflict. The more people you involve the more messy and heartbreaking it becomes! :sl:

Once again Jazakallah All for the great discussion!

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:sl:

 

:D for the post above :D

 

Mashallah that's great sister, may Allah help everything work out great for you both,ameen.

 

Happy for you :no:

 

I understand what you mean about asking lots of people for advice.

They'll base it on their own comprehension aswell as experiences.

If I was seeking marriage advice I would ask Allah(swt) as my 1st point of contact and then check my heart :D

to see how I feel.If I needed to get further advice, I'd turn to a very sincere and humble person, my mother :j:

 

:D for reading

 

:sl:

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i have been advised (by someone who has worked with me for the last 7 years,) against getting married...and these were his words,

"you have failed 5 times, and the sixth is probably not going to be different,,,and if you do go ahead with this sixth gamble, it may endup the same as the last 5 and the result would be a total halt of this rehab. facility...this Islam based rehab. facility for muslim drug addicts....nobody can endure your stringent disciplnary demands...we do so because we know you now after seven years of enduring your anger and your very strict and rigid person...and there were times when we decided to abandon you , and we stayed on for this work that you are doing...dont risk it by getting inot a sixth "sudden" marriage...if Allah wills someone who knows you or has known you or gets to know you and then decides on her own to allow herslef wedding your person with all the in-flexible attributes...then it shall be good otherwise just forget this "sudden acquaintance and immediate http://nikah(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e thing"...

and i got scared by this advice and am decided about not getting marrried now//alhmdulillah

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:sl:

 

Uncle :D for your post..

I suggest since you've been married a few times and it hasn't worked out, ask yourself these questions:

 

Why didn't they work out?

 

Start with the first experience and pinpoint exactly what the problems were + highlight potential solutions!

 

What was the core reason for the problems?

 

How can you change the situation for the future?

 

What's the best step you can make now?

 

Maybe seek knowledge on the morals/ regulations of marriage?

 

May Allah make it easy for you,ameen. :D

 

Check your heart firstly, since it's the king of organs and can guide us :no:

Then listen to it..Cause when you follow the heart, your mind and body will follow :j:

 

If your heart says marry again, don't hold back..

If it's holding back then make an assessment :D

 

:D for reading!

 

p.s. I don't know your full situation, so can only advise on a general level and not personal!

 

:sl:

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:sl:

 

Uncle :D for your post..

I suggest since you've been married a few times and it hasn't worked out, ask yourself these questions:

 

Why didn't they work out?

 

Start with the first experience and pinpoint exactly what the problems were + highlight potential solutions!

 

What was the core reason for the problems?

 

How can you change the situation for the future?

 

What's the best step you can make now?

 

Maybe seek knowledge on the morals/ regulations of marriage?

 

May Allah make it easy for you,ameen. :D

 

Check your heart firstly, since it's the king of organs and can guide us :no:

Then listen to it..Cause when you follow the heart, your mind and body will follow :j:

 

If your heart says marry again, don't hold back..

If it's holding back then make an assessment :D

 

:D for reading!

 

p.s. I don't know your full situation, so can only advise on a general level and not personal!

 

:sl:

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salaam, aaqib:

your feedback is very cogent and generous too..jazak-Allah

i wish i was like you at your age.

yes your writing allowed me a quick and easily graded review

and i found that, eversince i decided against risking everything/marriage, my work has improved as has my focus of the hisaab i am definetly giving at the end..may Allah Grace me by declaring me successfully victorious(amen)

i am very content and very firm and indeed my feelings are mileees ahead of the ambivalence my earlier posts reflect..alhmdulillah.

jazak-Allah and salaam.

oh i forgot to congragulate you for the manuever that the MUQTADIR has blessed the ummah with, in the shape of asif zardari as the pakistani president...

insha-Allah this man will cause(by Allah's mercy) a wordlwide conviction of our/pakistani nation's bravery and courage...please pray that Allah guides him to do the needed(amen)

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:sl:

 

your feedback is very cogent and generous too..jazak-Allah

i wish i was like you at your age.

yes your writing allowed me a quick and easily graded review

 

:no: you found a good review.

You'll be in my Duas always. :j:

 

:sl:

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