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AnthonyHowe

Would You Marry Someone Who Couldnt Have Children?

Would you marry someone who couldnt have children?  

67 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you marry someone who couldnt have children?

    • Yes
      40
    • No
      9
    • I would turn to modern technology and hope for the best
      8
    • I would adopt
      10


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if i marrried and then i knew that we couldt have children then i would't leave him.

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PropellerAds

Agreed. If we really wanted a child, I'd probably try and adopt.

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I think adopting an oprhan would be very rewarding.

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I voted yes.

Only a few months after my engagement I got seriously ill and found out I have a genetic disorder which will make it very difficult for me to conceive and even more difficult for Me to carry a child full-term. However my fiancé did his absolute best to care for me as much as he could and after he was informed of the situation concerning children he was upset and angry ( not at me may I point out) but never once said that he doesn't want to marry me or ever made me feel guilty or at fault for this, it brought us emotionally and mentally closer and stronger and we are now best friends more than anything and I can't imagine wanting to marry anyone else. I can also say 100% truthfuly if the roles were reversed I would have stayed with him too . It seems very cruel to leave/dump someone purely because you can't have children with them. I am very thankful to Allah(swt) for giving me such a caring and understanding husband to be :sl:

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Adoption FTW!

 

Whether or not my future husband, inshallah, can produce children of his own is a non-issue to me. I really want to adopt a child anyway. It's one of my life goals.

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######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/style_emoticons/default/sl.gif[/img]

 

I had the whole adoption thing understood VERY wrong. Thanks a ton for opening my eyes everyone.

Here's the story: I've always though adoption was okay in Islam, but recently (bout a week ago) I heard that adopting kids the western way is haram. But I understood the whole thing completely wrong. What is haram is naming the adopted child by your last name and making him/her your child. This can't happen, but it is how western adoption works.

 

The way it works in Islam is you can adopt a person and make the child as if yours, but it has to be known that this is not your child. For example: Before Allah revealed to Muhammad ######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/style_emoticons/default/s.gif[/img] about adoption, his adopted son was known as 'Zaid ibn Muhammad ######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/style_emoticons/default/s.gif[/img] '. But later they made sure it was changed back to 'Zaid ibn Haritha' and he isn't Muhammad's son, he was just under Muhammad's ######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/style_emoticons/default/s.gif[/img] care.

 

The way I understood it earlier was that it was revealed to Muhammad ######you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/style_emoticons/default/s.gif[/img] that adoption couldn't work that way and Zaid was an exception because he was with him before Islam. Sorry for the confusion, I'll edit my previous posts.

 

Now to stay on topic: Since adoption (in an Islamic way) could work out, I'd definately do that. But I still stand firmly by my belief that getting another wife isn't cruel or wrong at all.

 

I think this way is much healthier for the child too.

 

The part about the child being able to avoid marrying any long-lost siblings is pretty obvious so I won't get into it.

 

But a child who is brought up from the beginning knowing that they were adopted tend to have a much healthier and happier attitude towards it, knowing that they parents love them soooo much even though they're technically not theirs, and that their adoptive parents aren't being untruthful towards them so it helps maintain trust too.

 

I've heard a lot of stories about children who only found out they were adopted (often by accident) when they were a teenager or even as adults and it can come as quite a traumatic shock. They may also be left wondering what else their parents are hiding from them (even if their parents aren't hiding anything else, the trust has been lost).

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I would refuse to marry a mulisma/non-muslima if they can't/won't have children.

 

Allah mentions in the Quran countless times the importance of procreation.

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I would refuse to marry a mulisma/non-muslima if they can't/won't have children.

 

Allah mentions in the Quran countless times the importance of procreation.

 

See, this is something that would bother me as someone who is looking at Islam. Because of mistakes doctors have made with me, I have been told by at least one that while I technically could get pregnant, he recommended against it for my safety. So I worry about that kind of thing.

 

Do you know how painful it is to be told that the dream you had since you were a little girl might not be possible? And then you would punch a woman while she is down by refusing to marry her? That is crushing and speaking from experience I can tell you that it causes a deep depression.

 

I can't tell you how to live your life, any more than I could tell anyone. But I will say that just because a woman can't bear children doesn't mean that she can't be a mother if given the chance. And I would say the same thing for a man being a father. A father is a person who is there for his family. Coming from a Christian background and life, I've seen plenty of single parents because the other has walked out. And that to me is wrong. My opinion though I guess.

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See, this is something that would bother me as someone who is looking at Islam. Because of mistakes doctors have made with me, I have been told by at least one that while I technically could get pregnant, he recommended against it for my safety. So I worry about that kind of thing.

 

Do you know how painful it is to be told that the dream you had since you were a little girl might not be possible? And then you would punch a woman while she is down by refusing to marry her? That is crushing and speaking from experience I can tell you that it causes a deep depression.

 

I can't tell you how to live your life, any more than I could tell anyone. But I will say that just because a woman can't bear children doesn't mean that she can't be a mother if given the chance. And I would say the same thing for a man being a father. A father is a person who is there for his family. Coming from a Christian background and life, I've seen plenty of single parents because the other has walked out. And that to me is wrong. My opinion though I guess.

 

copied .....,

Islamically-speaking there is no problem. However, it depends on the person. Some people will won't like it and thus won't get married because of that. Some people will be fine with it and will get married. Like I said, it depends on the person if they want to get married. But there is nothing in Islam which says that you can't get married if you can't bear children. Most of the Prophets' (pbuh) wives didn't bear him children. So not bearing children is not an issue.

 

while, as i can see, for the one who lost his wife (or divorced) and have a small kids, he will do his best to find the good one who like to feel motherhood and act like mother. and so the husband will have a wife and the wife will have a husband and the children will have a mother and the mother will have childern.

 

hope Allah will do the best for all,

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See, this is something that would bother me as someone who is looking at Islam. Because of mistakes doctors have made with me, I have been told by at least one that while I technically could get pregnant, he recommended against it for my safety. So I worry about that kind of thing.

As Ahmad said there is nothing in Islam that prevents women who can't have children from marrying. There are men out there who don't want to marry a woman who can't bear children but it is definitely not every man - some men wouldn't have a problem with it.

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I understand that honestly. I just would say that choosing not to have children is a lot different of a situation than wanting children and being unable to. I hate the thought of being made to feel less because of something that I can't fix. Believe me, I've struggled with God about this enough in the last several years.

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