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Free Mixing In Forums

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Salam,

 

This may seem long at, but I can assure you, it will be beneficial, so I hope that all brothers and sister will read with an open mind and heart.

 

“O my son! keep up prayer and enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and bear patiently that which befalls you; surely these acts require courage;†(31:17)

 

This post will be about the worrying amount of free mixing, which occurs on ‘Islamic’ forums, such as this one. I will write this with the intention of ‘forbidding evil and enjoining good’. My intention is not to point the finger out to specific individuals. This post will be general and I apologies before hand, if I end up upsetting people, but at times, you cannot beat around the bush and try justify things to ourselves.

 

You will be aware that I am not very active on this forum, or any other, but even with me visiting this forum every, once in a blue moon, I have been upset and appalled at some of the free mixing, unnecessary talking of the opposite sexes and general ‘friendliness’ towards the opposite sex.

 

I have noticed that when a brother or sister posts about something Islamic, a question leads to another and then the discussion is about something totally different, with internet laughter (lol), this is clearly small amounts of flirting and unnecessary mixing of sexes.

 

“Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).†(17:32)

 

“How often have these conversations lead to bad results, and even caused people to fall in love, and have led some to do things that are even more serious than that. The Shaytaan makes each of them imagine attractive qualities in other, which leads them to develop an attachment that detrimental to their spiritual welfare and worldly affairs.†(Islam Q and A)

 

I am well aware that there are indeed some positives from Islamic forums, such as gaining knowledge and for sisters to meet other sisters and brothers meet other brothers. However, with reading and discussions with people and looking through these forums, it is quite clear that the evil/negatives out weigh the positives.

 

“…and do not help one another in sin and aggression; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah; surely Allah is severe in requiting (evil). (5:2)

 

I personally am not a fan of these forums, unless the forum is being monitored by a Shaikh, which will surely decrease the negatives and increase the positives, but even then it’s dangerous.

 

You can be as religious as you went, with a big beard and a niqqab, the shaytaan will always get you, when you put yourself in a situation of fitnah, such as these forums.

 

People have got this whole idea that it is an obligation to give dawwa, and Allhamduliah it is, but leave the brother to give daawaa/knowledge to a brother and a sister to a sister.

 

I am well aware that discussing some Islamic topics with the opposite sex is allowed, so long as not alone, but the Scholars have spoken of the dangers of this and it is better not to take part in such things.

 

“Among the ill effects of women taking part in chat rooms is that they may be tempted by some men, and form a romantic attachment to them, and vice versa, especially since women are weak and easily affected by words such as “you did well†and “may Allaah reward youâ€. If the praise is repeated, it leads to attachment.

The shaytaan deceives people and opens the way that leads them to sin. He mixes things that are acceptable with things that are not acceptable, and mixes truth with falsehood. He comes to each person through something that is suited to him. So a woman who likes music will be attracted to singers; as for the woman who loves Islam and is religiously committed, there are men who love that too. There is a trick for everything.†(Islam Q and a, fatwa number 92824)

 

“Entering chat rooms may lead to many evil consequences, hence we do not advise anyone to focus his concern and energy on that. Many of the youth have been tempted to use chat rooms to get to know girls, so it starts with da’wah and ends with becoming preoccupied with and tempted by these girls, and some of them have even committed fornication.

Our website has heard of many sad stories, some from girls who have repented, and some from the wives of some righteous men whose lives have been changed by these chat rooms.†(Islam Q and A, fatwa number 32693)

 

I am aware a forum is not a chat room, but it has the same concept and these days people seem to chat too freely anyways.

 

“Islam has blocked all the ways that may lead to committing immoral actions. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Come not near to Al-Fawaahish (shameful sins and illegal sexual intercourse) whether committed openly or secretlyâ€

[al-An’aam 6:151]

 

“Coming near†implies doing something that may lead to those actions. Islam also warns against men mixing freely with women. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.†They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.â€

Islam also warns us against being alone with a non-mahram woman. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a (non-mahram) woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.†Narrated by Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and al-Haakim; al-Albaani said: It is saheeh. Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 2546.

All of this is for the purpose of protecting people’s honour against committing immoral actions, and blocking all paths that may lead to the crime of zina (fornication, adultery).â€

 

Also one must remember the hadeeth that the prophet pbuh said that, “ the biggest fitnah I leave to men is womenâ€.

 

Furthermore, Mufti Ebrahim Desai says, “It is prohibited for a man to chat with ghayr mahrem (not prohibited in marriage) females - in any way - Internet or otherwise.â€

 

Other negative aspects of these so called Islamic forums is the large amounts of time that people spend on them and just end up wasting time. I know of brothers who would go on all the time, that they done nothing else, and their first year of uni and other stuff jus completely went out the window.

 

Brothers and sisters have to realize that this is not the only way in which you can obtain Islamic knowledge, especially with the large amount of fitnah of these forums.

 

“Do you know that by thinking of this girl, getting in touch with her and meeting her, the Shaytaan may cause you to fall into that which you did before? I hope that you will not be over-confident and think that you will be able to resist, for the one who is ruled by his desires is weak, and whoever walks for a few steps with the Shaytaan will walk with him to the end. But you should know that you are incurring the wrath of the Compeller (al-Jabbaar) and that you are committing one of the gravest acts of disobedience against Allaah after shirk.

 

Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I do not know of any sin after murder that is worse than zina, and he quoted as evidence the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood who said: “O Messenger of Allaah, which sin is the worst?†He said, “Setting up a rival to Allaah when He is the One Who created you.†[‘Abd-Allaah] said: “Then what?†He said, “Killing your child for fear that he may eat with you.†[‘Abd-Allaah] said, “Then what?†He said, “Committing adultery with your neighbour’s wife.†And confirmation of that was revealed in the Qur’aan:

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishmentâ€

[al-Furqaan 25:68]

 

You must also understand the effects that zina has on the soul (or on one’s psyche). Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Zina encompasses all the characteristics of evil: lack of religious commitment, loss of piety, loss of chivalry, lack of protective jealousy (gheerah). You will not find any adulterer who is pious, or keeps his promises, or speaks truthfully, or is a good friend, or has complete protective jealousy towards his family. Treachery, lying, betrayal, lack of modesty, lack of awareness that Allaah is always watching, lack of chivalry, loss of protective jealousy from the heart – these are the effects and implications of zina.â€

 

(Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid)

 

Now that the negatives have been discussed, we must figure out, what are the solutions. The first solution and advice is that these sort of forums are closed or people do not attend it, as it has been made clear, one cannot stay away from fitnah, no matter how religious. Second solution, try and get a mod who is religiously committed and above the age of 40 (i.e. the age of wisdom) as the youth, we are not wise yet and we cannot make such decisions as to when someone is free mixing or not and at times I think the mods are even afraid to say something. Third solution, why not make the whole forum only brothers section and sisters section, that would mean no free mixing of the opposite sexes. However, there is still a danger of people lying and saying they are sisters, when they are not, im sure you can see the depths of this fitnah and problem.

 

My dear brothers and sisters, I apologise if I have offended anyone and I hope you will all open your hearts and eyes to this problem.

 

P.S. please no one ask for me to give examples of people free mixing on the forum, as I am not here to expose people’s sins, but I am here to advise.

 

I leave you with this one final Fatwa, by Mufti Ebrahim Desai: (I am aware it is not fully to do with this topic, but it has great information which links to what we have discuseed)

 

Q.) What is the Shar'ee ruling on the intermingling of sexes, especially in these times? Please quote relevant verse and Ahaadeeth.

______________________________

_________

A.) It is rather unfortunate that sin and evil has become so rife nowadays that people don't even regard sin as sin anymore and how true are the words of our beloved Rasul , 'A time will dawn upon man that Zina (adultery) will become so widespread that the most pious man in this world will be that person who witnesses two people doing evil on the street pavement. This person would go up to them and tell them to do it behind a tree. He will not stop them from the evil rather he would tell them that instead of doing it in front of everybody, they should go and do their actions behind a tree. The person who tells them this will be the most pious person. Today, we are presently experiencing the above adultery is being done openly, everywhere without any prohibition or obstruction.' (Islahi Khutubaat, Mufti Taqi Usmani vol.7 pg.32)

In an verse of the noble Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala commands the believers, 'Say (O' Muhammad) unto the believers, lower your gazes and protect your private parts. That is more pure for you. Verily, Allah is all informed of what you are doing.' (Surah Nur). Evil glances is to look at any Ghayr Mahram (not permanently ineligible for marriage) especially with desire or to attain pleasure whether the person is alive or it is a picture. Both situations are totally haram. The greatest hindrance for the reformation and purification of the inner self is the sin of evil glances. Nabi explained in a Hadith, 'Evil glance is a poisonous arrow from the arrows of Iblees.' (Majmauz Zawaaid vol.8 pg.63)

 

In another Hadith, Nabi mentioned, '… The Zina of the eyes is in evil glances and Zina of the ears is by listening (to evil) and Zina of the tongue speaking (about evil) and Zina of the hands is in touching (forbidden) and Zina of feet is in walking (towards evil) and the heart desires and hopes (in evil) and thereafter the private parts accepts that (acts upon it) or rejects it.' (Mishkaat Hadith # 86)

Therefore, according to Shari'ah, to look, speak, listen, etc. to any Ghayr Mahram except at the time of extreme necessity is haram and impermissible. In an verse of the noble Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala says, 'And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' Although the reason for revelation is a specific incident and the wives of Nabi are specifically mentioned but this is general for the entire Ummah, i.e. if a woman wants to get something from the men, e.g. utensils, clothing, etc., she should not come in front of him, rather she should ask for it from behind a veil. (Ma'aariful Qur'an vol.7 pg.200; Idaaratul Ma'aarif)

In another verse, Allah Ta'ala says, 'And stay in your homes and do not display yourselves, like that at the time of ignorance…' (Surah Ahzaab 33 vol.33). Therefore, the command unto women is to stay at home and only come out at the time of a necessity which is sanctioned by the Shari'ah, should a need arise. In other words total Shar'ee Hijaab should be adhered to.

By a person fighting his Nafs and saving himself from sinning, he will attain the sweetness of Iman. Nabi said, 'A thought comes into a person to cast evil glances and who is that person who doesn't get these thoughts and his heart is also encouraging him to just take a look! But he fears Allah and saves himself by not casting an evil glance. This will cause a great burden but Allah Ta'ala will grant such sweetness of Iman that he won't even consider looking in future.' (Ahmad vol.5 pg.264)

It is, therefore, imperative that awareness should be created amongst the Muslim students, both male and female, regarding the importance and laws of Shari'ah especially with regards to Hijab and intermingling of the sexes. The administration of MSA should be encouraged to adhere to the laws of Shari'ah, contextually, the laws of Hijaab.

 

Jazakallah Khair

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PropellerAds

Salamu Alaikum,

 

I respect your opinion but sometimes I think we take it too far. I spoke to a sister once who mentioned to me that the youth group in her Masjid play games and particpate together in the masjid in non-religous matters (or at least that is what I understood from her). Now is that to say that we should avoid going to the masjid b/c there's a possibilty of zina coming out of it? What about when I go to work? My boss is a female; should I quit? The obvious answer is no here.

 

However, I also agree that this is quite an issue as I have been tempted here and there by someone contacting me. Maybe if we took the whole "gender" thing out that would solve the issue (just my .02). But this is an awesome forumand I've learned so much and I think we should do everything possible to make it a better place and I hope no oneleaves b/c of this post.

 

Thanks

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Salaamu Alaikum

 

Although i wholeheartedly agree with your post, i still think forums are of benefit. When i first joined this forum i was ignorant, i didn't know much about my religion but thanks to Gawaher and a few great members i was able to better understand Islam and learn things i could not have otherwise learned on my own. There's fitnah everywhere brother, and your right we should try our best to stay away from matters that will result in intermingling of the opposite sex. Please don't take any of this the wrong way, i know am guilty of what your mentioning. May Allah guide us all and strengthen our iman. Jazakallahu khair for your post.

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Asalaam-Wa-AlaYkum

^^ I agree, I've only been here a couple of days and realized how litlle I actually knew about my deen. :sl:

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Salaamz

Bro..I respect your honest opinion,but totally disagree...

Bcaz IMO

First off, it's practically impossible for a Sheikh to monitor a Huge forum such as this.

Second, I feel that the mods (plural) already do an excellent job maintaining an Islamic environment, and

exchanging thoughts over the net doesn't violate hijab requirements to my knowledge.

And to say that "lol" is flirting is clearly an extreme interpretation. It's all about intentions and even if we separate men/women by continents,

I am sure they will find a way. Only God may know the reason behind every lol, but I do know that most of the lol are just lols with

no strings attached. so why not let God be the judge?

Why over look the huge benefits of this forum and and amplify the tiny

fraction of drawback? Why let thousands suffer due to a few bad apples?

I mean why would people come to Gawaher to flirt when it' smuch more easier to go to

lavalife for ex.

Again, No disrespect but to suggest that these forums are unislamic is extreme. Why make things complex and depressingly

strict to adhere with? :sl:

 

Peace

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