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Depressed Recent College Grad, Please Help

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Asalamu alaikum,

 

I just graduated from college last month and have been working full time since. It has been very difficult for me to get adjusted to this new lifestyle for many reasons, but what bothers me the most is that when I am not at work I get sucked into a very bad depression. Things that I used to like (TV, movies, games, etc.) aren't as appealing anymore, and although I want to spend time with friends, I feel like I don't have any anymore. In college I was very academically motivated and spent a lot of time studying, so I didn't have time to make many friends, and the friends that I did make do not have an Islamic lifestyle (they go out partying, etc.)

 

Recently I've been trying to be a better Muslim by spending more time at the Masjid and trying to get to know other brothers. When I am at the Masjid I feel a lot better inside but for some reason I don't fit in with the other brothers as well as I would want to. This might be all in my head but I just feel like they don't really want to hang out with me and the only reason they talk to me is to fulfill the Islamic obligation of being kind to your brothers. In other words, I don't feel like I have found true friends at the Masjid.

 

This depresses me a lot because I want so badly to have good Muslim friends that I can rely on. When I am not at work and I am just sitting at home with nothing to do I start thinking about how miserable my situation is I start thinking things that I shouldn't think about. I'm not a suicidal person but sometimes I think that my life right now is just vey hard. Sometimes I think about starting to hang out with my old non-muslim friends who lead a different lifestyle just because i get so bored sometimes but I know this is wrong. Other times I feel like I want a girlfriend so bad just because I want somebody I can rely on but I also know this is wrong. I am just so confused and tired and I worry about where all this will lead me, I don't want to do something that I will regret later.

 

Also, I have roommates who are still in school and they are completely happy people. They are Muslims and we are friends but I just feel like they don't like me as much. I wonder if all this is in my head, I'm not sure, but sometimes I just feel like I'm so different from everybody else.

 

Please offer your advice I would be very grateful, jazakullah khair.

 

-Muslim brother in need.

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Salam,

 

Dont worry brother, I no how you feel. Ist a test remember. I have similar problems.

 

I listen to Quran and Pray quran, Salaah and pray in bed aswell.

 

And I also have abit of another tiny habit, please check my thread but that does help me.

 

 

 

Salam

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Wa 'alaykum assalaam brother

 

Inshaa'Allah you are feeling better and things are falling into place.

 

My advice to you is this: get married. I mean, seriously brother, you just graduated from college. Why are you still single?

 

I understand that you may not be completely financially stable yet, but I think you should start the process. Remember what Allah :sl: says in the Qur'aan:

 

And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they be poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty; for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things. [surat An-Noor, Ayah 32]

 

Now marriage may seem like it has nothing to do with your problem, but I think it does.

 

First of all, it will take your mind off A LOT of things, that includes your depression. Secondly, if you have a good wife, she will help you on your journey to become a better Muslim. Thirdly, you will be a more responsible person so you will only hang out with those who are mature like you are, and you won't even consider being around those old friends of yours.

 

As far as making friends at the Masjid, you're doing a good job already! It's good to have that feeling that "they're better than me, I'm not as good as them" however it becomes unhealthy when you make it a big deal and let it eat you up. Look, much of the beauty of Islam lies in the concept of brotherhood. We should take advantage of this. I would advise that whenever you go to the Masjid or Islamic center, you look for someone who has really proven how good of a Muslim he is. For example, someone who is kind, someone who is caring, someone who has Islamic character. Take that brother to the side, and tell him exactly what you told us. Inshaa'Allah he will help you. That's the whole point of brotherhood, my friend.

 

May Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aala make you stronger and give you peace of mind. Aameen.

 

I hope that helps.

 

Assalaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

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:sl:

 

Things that I used to like (TV, movies, games, etc.) aren't as appealing anymore, and although I want to spend time with friends, I feel like I don't have any anymore.

 

Brother, from what i know this seems like signs of either bipolar disorder personality or borderline disorder personality, or both. you can find the information about that on the internet. there are many of them.

 

wassalam,

y

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:sl:

 

Well for starters WELCOME to the WORLD of being a Muslim ... Who ever said life for a Muslim is gonna be a piece of cake and walk in the park should have his bottom tazered till he is jiggling his jelly.

Brother ... REVERTS are giving a very Honorable stance in Islam ... ALL THEIR SINS Forgiven and what not ... do you know WHY ?? for moments like THIS !!! think of your life before Islam as a DRUG that you were Addicted to ... and Islam is your REHAB .... ooh ooh ooh QUIZ TIME : What happens to an addict when he is kept away from having his drugs ?? Why Miss Fatimah .. he undergoes withdrawal symptoms .. Thats RIGHT Taimur :sl: ... now OUT of the CLAss for knowing too much about drugs .. you better not be taking them ....

 

so back to being serious ... what u are facing is the reason why Allah (s.w.t) has Betowed so much MERCY on you and other reverts because this phase is the TUFFEST .. where u are the MOST DEPRESSED ... where u are dangling between struggling for your NEW FAITH or going back to your ADDICTED past life. You came to Islam for a reason ... you thought it would be given to you on a golden spoon and a customized bib that has your facial picture on it ? NO ...

 

Thats DONE about the SITUATION of a revert and how he wants acceptance and how he feels alienated .. I stated all of those because this is the TIME SHAITAAN comes and tries to confuse you sayin they dont like you ... you will never be accepted by them .. well NEWS FLASH .. you CHOSE Islam FOR Allah not for ACCEPTANCE from MUSLIMS ... just rely on Allah for their acceptance ... secondly try to be kind to yourself ... you are human first and then a MUSLIM ... and so are your MUSLIM Brothers and Sisters ... them liking you or not is not your concern ... just go with the FLOW ... Learn to TRUST Allah ... and Make Allah (s.w.t) Happy ... do you know that if Allah (s.w.t) likes someone He will tell Jibraeel (arcangel) that I (s.w.t) love so and so (the persons name) so tell the inhabitants on Heaven and the Earth to like him as well. And not only will you find acceptance from the Muslims but the angels will also like you ... with this mindset step forward. Islam is a way of life ... not a GOAL to be achieved .. many men are pious but no friend by their side ... many a men are pious with no one share their happiness nor their sorrow ... but they are pious for the simple fact that they Befriended Allah (s.w.t) above anyone else.

 

so CHILLAX ... live your life the way u want to .. but abiding by the teachings of Islam ... Hanging out with non Muslim guy is not a crime as long as you know they wont take you to the wrong side why SHUN them they were a part of your life ... u can shove them in the closet ... explore and u will realise why u chose Islam in the first place you will learn more aspects making you feel closer to the MUSLIMS because I know how u must feel as a revert ... thinking how u are the black sheep in the crowd .. .TRUTH IS ....us BORN MUSLIMS look up to you ... THINKING how much HEART COURAGE AND SOUL it must have taken for a person to take a STEP this IMPACTFUL .. to SHUN their rituals and adopt a way that they found was the RIGHT path ... and here u are u silly moose thinking they dont like you and what not .. stop filling you mind with JUNK and enjoy the beauty of Islam .. .of LIFE ...

 

~Freak~(Mite say jibberish from lack of sleep but still want the best for u :no:)

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