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:sl: brothers and sisters,


Insha'Allah I really hope people can help me out with this problem.


I go to a Public High School in the West. Long story short - I hardly attend my classes nor complete any assignments. Academically I'm not doing great. The reason for this is because my heart is not in it. I am not learning anything beneficial that will help me now or the hereafter. I see things that are not meant to be seen, and I hear words that are not meant to be heard. The company I have is probably the better among the other company there. However even they are not good people to be around. They are hardly any other sisters around - practically none, and those that are there are just followers of the trend, and, in some cases, even worse. I feel like I'm wasting my time learning nothing what so ever of any value, and half of the 75 min classes are either the teachers making lousy jokes (that are harmful as well) and the rest is junk. Anyways, I want to go to an Islamic School. It is not far, probably even closer than my other school. I see it as a great thing because the company around me will be good, which will in turn encourage me to do better. I will be around people whose words are valuable and will be beneficial and will help me on the day of judgment rather than go against me. I will not be in a constant state of looking away from things that are haram (which are in every corner might I add) Along wth that I will learn about my Deen and everything will be incorporated through the Islamic view. Prayer will be on time during school hours, and as an addition the teachers around me will be very valuable and beneficial unlike the teachers at the public school. They can help me with understanding my religion so much better. Anyways, the problem here is - for some strange reason, my parents do not want me to go the Islamic School. They do not tell me why. They force and pressure me to go (to the public school), do this and that, and is so many ways put this useless knowledge above my Deen. I know they want me to be successful (or maybe it's also upholding the family name) but success for the hereafter is much more important - who knows when it's my time to die? They say that religion can be taught later on at anytime - and I beg to differ. I am at an age where learning the Quran (atleast memorizing it all and its meaning) and the Hadith is easier. rather this junk that they force me to learn is can be learned much later (though it shouldn't even be bothered with). They say things like: Do you really think you've become a scholar because you prayed? Well no, not at all, and nowhere near, but it is one one of the essential steps. If I don't go to school (and spend those same 8 hours learning about Islam), I have to put up with being cursed at and hearing once again things that I should not hear, having my parents upset with me - and overall just having a bad relationship. Now the problem is don't know what to do. If I try to push forth the idea of the Islamic School, and go against their will a little so that they accept - I'm committing a major sin (disobeying parents). However if I go to school, I see and hear many sinful things, waste my time - and at the end of the day i have very little time to educate my self in my religion. This might sound stupid, but sometimes I feel like just getting to the Islamic School is kind of like a very small personal jihad - or it could be the other way as Shaytan could be making it look that way so that I disobey some of my parents rules and commit some sins... (or maybe even talking about my parents like this) So the question I guess I'm asking is what should I choose, and how should I go about doing it? I really would greatly appreciate some advice...and alhumdullilah for having such a place where I can get help from the wiser ones :sl:



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How about getting a relative to mediate between you and your parents? Someone who your parents respect, and can explain your perspective. If need be, you could also think about a compromise - like evening and/or weekend classes to study Islam, depending on your existing workload.


Worldy knowledge can be good too, even if, say, someone doesn't plan on a career, as it can add conviction to faith. Science is a good example. Going to a general school has the benefit that you're a portal to non-Muslims (and any Muslims for that matter) into Islam. Da'wah through conduct basically. Reason I mention this, is that I find it can be easy to cocoon and withdraw, when this might be too comfortable an option (hope you don't take offence to that); for example, a teacher at my old masjid said to me that we will be held accountable for whether or not we showed our non-Muslim neighbours Islam. But you know your situation best - whether the harm outweighs the benefit.


Istikharah would be good.



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Assalamu alaikum, everyone has different potential, not everyone is made to become a scholar in Islamic Knowledge, and not everyone is made to be a scholar in the academic fields.


I respect your desire to go into an Islamic School, and no doubt the environment is much better and easier for Muslim girls. I am assuming you are a girl. there are very few girls who would think the way you are, and I hope your parents realise that forcing you to do what you are not interested in would be a waste of Time and energy on your part, and time Energy and Money on their part.


How old are you? I wonder why you think convincing your parents to send you to an Islamic School would e a sin. If you think they can be convinced, then you should try and do that. It's not lke you are trying to convince them to send you to a Drama school or for Modelling career or something like that.........


I would tell you though, InshaAllah if your parents are convinced by you or even unwillingly send you there, then it would be your duty to make full effort to try to do good by getting much higher grades than you are getting now, so that they do not regret listening to you.


If I were you, I would try me best to convince them, and there is nothing wrong in it, unless the fee for the school is too high and your parents cannot afford it. If you are a female, you could send me a PM to me, only if you want to, no obligation.


You will be in my duaas, May Allah accept your intention and desire to learn about Deen and to be in an Islamic environment, and may Allah soften your parents heart towards your wishes, If in fact that would be good for you in this World and the hereafter, ameen.


Assalamu Alaikum.

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Firstly may i congratulate you on your strong iman alhumdulillah. Keep it strong.


Lets say hypothetically that you can not go to the Islamic school. Consider your parents as definently not changing their decision. I am no scholar yet have gone to a public school and have experienced a bit of what you may be going through. So this is my advice.


In terms of studying, read all your mathematical, scientific and social science textbooks. always aim to achieve top marks regardless of the demoralising or discouraging activities occuring around you. this will 1. increase your knowledge to become a more intelligent person.2. display muslims as confident and sophisticated individuals.3. contribute to you having a more stable future inshallah and 4. please your parents.


In terms of the poeple around you. If EVERYONE participates in haraam activities at school, do not socialise with such people. Yes provide dawah if possible but avoid them in general. there must be at least one person who, even if a christian, can provide companionship.


In terms of Islamic duties. that is completely up to you. Being forced to go to a public school is no excuse to not increase your knowledge in Islam or carry out salaat etc Find a quraan translated in a language you understand if you do not know arabic and read it whenever you have spare time. download quranic recitation from the net and listen to it to better recite and memorise. HOWEVER, be wary of websites on the net discussing Islam, many can be false texts aiming to deform and confuse young minds. you are not allowed to post links yetaswatalislam(contact admin if its a beneficial link) is one good site which contains valuable and helpful free to download lectures. read Islamic books you can probably find from the masjid or VISIT the Islamic school next to your house to buy Islamic books. ALWAYS perform salaat on time for that is the basic pinnacle of Islam with incredible importance.


Lastly, discuss with your parents YOUR PROBLEMS. tell them why you truly want to move and they should listen. Do not fight or get angry for that wont help them to realise your point of view. explain to them the troubles faced in the public school environment and they should inshallah consent to you decision. Be open and honest and ask for their reason and understanding.


All the best


May the peace mercy and blessings of almighty Allah swt be upon you all


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I think I might know why ur parents are resisting to you going to an Islamic school. There is this myth among many parents that if their child goes to Islamic school then they will not be able to have a career in the future because of not getting admission into a good university. Which is completely false. I have heard that they did a study on Muslim kids that go to public schools and Muslim kids that go to Islamic schools and those in the Islamic school scored better on their SAT's.


I also know of brothers and sisters who have gone to Islamic schools and have been able to have a professional career after graduating from good universities.


I can understand that horrible atmosphere that you must be around as I was the only Muslim in my high school. It can have quite a negative impact on you and if you are a sister it must be even harder. I would try and see if you can convince you parents just to check out the Islamic school and talk to some of the teachers. That may help them to see that it is also a real educational institution where you can learn about Islam and the other subjects.


Outside of that as some others have said already...try your best to learn at home reading ahadith books and the Quran. It is harder but doable and especially if you don't have a job at this time which I am assuming you don't.


InshaAllah I hope everything works out for you. Just make duaa that Allah Subhanahuwataala makes whatever is best for you easier and whatever isn't best more difficult.

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salaam sister...you bet it is jihaad..and i agree with you 100percent.

i would suggest you blow the whistle on these phonies you think are your parents.

call a counsller from the socail welfare and share your story with her..

if you think your parents dont know the filth you are absorbing/withstanding at that public school...you are VERY WRONG...

and if you dont act now, i assure you you will when they try forcing you into wedding some mule of thier choice brought up in hypocrisy as they do you...

but then you'll be acting for personal/selfish reasons..now you will be acting for universal reasons..SO ACT NOW..AND Allah BE WITH YOU DEAR MUJAAHIDA.

i am a 46 year old psychaitrist..and i know what i am telling you.

salaamualaikum and may Allah give you the strength to guide your parents away from the hell they are pushing you to.

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Ignore what he person above said. You dont even know ANYTHING about the person and you are making such wild and presumptuous claims. how do you know what her parents are like? all you are doing is creating conflict between child and parent.


I ask you to DELETE your post



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Actually the 46 year old psychiatrist is talking sense and telling her to act now before its too late.


If her parents were practicing muslims they would have understood her change of mind for choosing to go to an Islamic school. Furthermore its based on the individual whether that individual is feeling comfortable and relax or tensed and unhappy in such an environment. Here its about her own education and where she feels more comfortable in learning, and if she is not able to feel comfortable at the school she is going to right now and wishes for an Islamic school instead its her very own right to do so, her parents can neither stop her nor force her as it will cause long term effects in the future for obvious reasons....


Hope this helps inshallah.



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alsalamu alaikom sister,


I think the question here is whether you should twist their arm in order to go to the Islamic school. I think you can strike a deal. What if you try the school for a year or half term, and if they are not satisfied with the grades or you behaviour then another solution can be sought. If you are wanting the to accep wholeheartedly, well they do not have to and still you would not be disobeying them. You see we are punished for disobeying when it is something halal and permissible, not when it is calling you to something haram.


You do not have to create a fight, rather embrace their protest by your own patiance, planning, and tact. win both sides, their approval and the scool that is best for you. but if you try to hit heads, it will only be for the worse.


Allah knows best.

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Sister don't let the shaytan give you any doubt: You are 100% right here. Your parents are SINNING by forcing you to go to public school, sorry to say. Unless they can't afford it, they have no excuse to keep you in such a disgusting environment.


A word of caution though: The Islamic school, while it will be 10 times better, will still be filled with corruption :sl: . I went to an Islamic school in america and the boys and girls copy the kuffar as much as possible except for a few. But it's way better than public (been there too for a few years)

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I am surprised !!!!!!!! At the counselling here.


Anyways. To the topic starter:


You have heard that the grass is always green on the other side i hope. This time for you its the Islamic School is always green on the other side.


I shall give you a test before you follow any strange advice from here like kicking your parents etc.


You go to Public school is like you living in Mecca around all the disbelievers. You are in constant challenges. you wish to pray and people throw stones at you. You wish to speak and people hold you by your collar and choke you. There was a house in Mecca whose neighbours would throw dirt and filth on the person praying, you have a house in which you parents ALLOW you to pray.


You cant disobey your parents unless they ask you to disbelieve in God. However you can obey them and obey God. All you have to do is disobey Shaytan. Believe me you will find shaytan even in the IslamIC school. You will find shaytan even after you join the Islamic school. Perhaps then you will say. Dear brothers , this Islamic school i go to is not corret they dont teach the right things. The female teachers teach the male class. or vice versa etc They are teaching the Pickthall's translation or Asad's Translation etc. They are sufis, tablleghi etc. If not that then soon you will have a Islamic sister/brother you like and you will dream of a life with him/her.


Dont talk about age and memorizing. The Quran was not reveled to a bunch of kids under 17 or under 25 who later memorized it. There were enough people who memorized it while they were older. There are enough people who are memorizing it being older.


Here is what i can advice. Most of the schools where you can learn Islam will at least have you memorize the last Juz (part). Be prepared with it before you enter any Islamic school. With that Islamic school i mean something like a school in Yemen (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetdaralmustafa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/studentlife.htm"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetdaralmustafa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/studentlife.htm[/url] there is a diff one for women. i think daralzahra


I have seen enough public school graduates who are good people and Islamic people. on the other hand i have seen people not from public school studied in good Islamic environment yet turned out complete opposite.


what would matter is how you do what you do best while you are in this filth. Obey your parents, obey the lord. Read/memorize what you can but consistently. Sister what you call useless education is in fact useful. If we have had this education like our ancester muslims had we would not be ruled by communists or capitalists. You say useless education, well you dont get this education which is the basic to further your education to become a become a doctor . You dont become a doctor then dont expect a female doctor to come to help you deliver your baby. You in high school well then its very basic and may be useless but thats how it is. You have to have it to be a teacher. if you dont then dont expect to have an Islamic school for your kids.

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Assalamu Alaykum dear sister in Islam,


what good is Islamic Knowledge without live experience. That what you are going through right now is not a coincidence, but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is preparing you for the goal you wish to achieve. Right now, you learn the practical part of Islamic knowledge and this will surely be a great advantage when you study Islamic Sharee'ah. Use this life experience to not just increase knowledge, but also good judgment and wisdom. By studying Islamic Books and sharee'ah you may increase your knowledge, but you wisdom and good judgment comes from what you are experiencing right now.


I would urge you to be patience and follow the commandments of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala even if the entire world is against you. If you are the only person on earth that follows the truth and everyone is against you and mocking you then don't be afraid and lose hope, because if you follow the straight path and the the intention to do so, than you surely have a companion with you and that is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Be proud to be yourself and to be the only one who follows the straight path as much as you can. Be proud (with pride is don't mean arrogance/al-kibr, but to feel honoured and pleased) that you are the only practicing Muslim among the crowd.



Some Heart-softeners:


1. Remember that you can only serve one master either dunia or Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala


2. Remember that your heart is there where the treasure is, so put your treasure with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and Paradise so that you heart is attached to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and Paradise.


3. Remember that the best treasure is not Jannah nor meeting with prophet or angels but the fact that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is satisfied with you and will never be annoyed with you.


4. Imagine that you stand alone on the Day of Judgment before Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and Allah tells you in front of all Creation including Angels, Prophet, Jinn, animals, and those people who are at this school and you are told that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is completely satisfied with you for eternity and Allah will never be annoyed with you and you are in the company with the prophets and sahaba and other righteous human beings and angels who feel honoured to be in company with you.


5. Remember that the righteous are few and the evil are alot.


6. Remember that you are the white hair in the skin or a black sheep or the blach hair in the skin of a red cow.


7. Remember that you are the wheat among the weed and the grain among the chaff. The grain is harvested but the chaff and the weed is fuel for the fire.


8. Remember that your honour lies in Islam only and you are the honour of Islam.


9. Remember that one sign of the love of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala toward you is that you are tried in this world.


10. Remember that the reward increases with the difficulty and hardship.


11. Remember to work for shade on the Day of Judgment. If a youth is growing up worshipping Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala then shade is promised for that person. Just continue with you journey because you may have shade on the Day of Judgment under the throne of Allah, while the people who may neglect you or even mock and mob you have to stand in the heat of the sun covered with sweat.


Hopefully, my encouragements help you to be more patience.

You are right now in a furnace but when you get out then you'll be a greater Muslima then before.


By the way, when this test is over then the next test begins. Be happy to be the student of truth.



May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala place light in your heart

And on your tongue light

And in your ears light

And in your sight light

And above you light

And below you light

And to your right light

And to your left light

And behind you light

And before you light


May Allah place light in your soul

And magnify for you light

And amplify for you light

And make for you a light

And make you a light for others

And grant light for you for eternity


May Allah place light in your nerves

And in your body light

And in your blood light

And in your skin light

And in your hair light

And in your flesh light

And in your mind light


May Allah place light in your bones

And make for you a light in your grave

And increase you in light

And increase you in light

And increase you in light

And grant you light upon light



First be dutiful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala (including following the way of the prophets) and then be dutiful to your parents which includes to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to forgive them and to soften their hearts. Be creative with your parents.



More advice:

1. Suppress any feelings of anger


2. Suppress any feeings of desires


3. Suppress any feelings of greed


4. Suppress any feelings of phobia (Shaytaan may cause you to feel embarrassed or ashamed or shy that you are different/Or make you lose patience. Remember, the first goal of the enemies is to severe the roots which is your Islamic identity. If the root is uprooted then it will be easy for them to entice you and to overtake you and kidnap you away from Islam. That's what happened to your fellow brothers and sisters)


5. Suppress your thoughts during salah


6. Pray as much as you can to be in the company of the prophets and sahaba and great women such as Maryam, Khadijah, and Asiya on the day of judgment. Pray at night when people are sleeping. Pray during the day when people are busy. Pray in school and do not miss prayers because of classes.


7. Spend zakah and sadaqa to purify your wealth if possible even if sadaqa means to give a smile or to remove a branch from the road so that passerbys may walk smoothly. Feed the poor and aid the sick and visit the prisoner.


8. Fast regularily


9. Remember your Creator continuously. Say Subhanallahi wabihamdi subhanallah alazheem hundred times and learn other dhikr.


10. Be with the Jama'ah as much as you can, because the Shaytaan attacks from the stray sheep.


11. Practice jihaad which includes self-control and developing Taqwa and Ihsaa and fighting against the evil inspiration of Shayateen among jinn and mankind.


12. Put full trust in your Creator.

13. Set for yourself the goal to be among those 70000 from this Ummah who bypass the Reckoning stage of the Day of Judgment.

14. Live in this world as a stranger in a strangeland, because your home is Jannah.



Sorry for this lengthy answer, but I had alot to tell before I forget.



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Assalamu Alaykum from all my heart


Remember that even if you are the only righteous person in that school, you have the Highest Companion with you. This also means that all the angels and righteous jinn and humans are honoured about you, especially the Rasulullah. You may lose in the worldly sense but in the eternal sense you win. When a believer worships Allah then the angels see that as stars. For them this worship look like stars and they come close to that star and they will ask Allah "Isn't this the righteous servant who has to overcome so much fitna at this public school?" Allah knows best. I wish the see you as a superstar.


Live like a competitor. Compete with all of them, not for this world but for akhira, the afterlife. They may compete for the wrong thing and they may win in this matter, but you are the true winner if you are the only one competing for akhira.


You are on one side of a wall and the others are on the other side. They see only themselves because from their side they look into a mirror, but you can look beyond because from your side you can see through a glass window. For you the window is transparent but for them it is not.


Don't expect to become a scholar without going through experiences and trials. The higher the status the harder the test will be. The more knowledgeable the more severe the tests. The prophets went through the most severe trials in their lives because their tasks are the most difficult and because they receive revelation their trials are more severe than for someone who just reverts to Islam and has limited knowledge.


May sheikh who was my local Imam once told the students that he intends to become a Mujtahid scholar. Few days later the trials and tribulations arrived. He was imprisoned by Immigration Officers and was divided from his family due to some incidents. This happened after the claim and the statement of his goals.


Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala prepared Nabi Musa alayhissalam for this prophethood by many trials. He was raised in the palace of fir'aun. He was betrayed by his own people. He had to flee although there was only desert. He was hired and became a shephard of sheep. All this was preparation for him.


Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala prepared Adam alayhissalam for his prophethood by exposing him to Shaytaan. The sin that he and Hawwa committed actually was a milestone for him because after the sin and repentance he was a better Adam then before the sin. Adam knew about Shaytaan Iblees, but he truly understood the evil of Shaytaan when he had this life-experience with Shaytaan. People learn through life-experience which do not accidently happen, but by the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

Edited by muhsinmuttaqi

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:j: Bro


I used to be just like you, facing the same nonsense everyday bruff, my word of advice for you is what i have been through, what i used to do is, i would spend some time in the masjid later on during the day...i would also join any classes or activity/ies that was going on in the masjid and sooner or later i found out there was more to a masjid than just praying 5 times a day...i advise you greatly to always be sharp on your salaat and try your utmost to attend them all in the masjid...ask Allah for help to guide you the right path all the time, you never know when you may end up in a dead end or the wrong path...and also the main thing is to ask for steadfastness in your deen and imaan, keep it balanced....bro trust me once you develop this connection, this trust between you and Allah nothing can stop you achieving whatever you need, Allah be my witness here :sl:


Even though you can't make it to an Islamic school does not mean you give up...there should always be something going on in a masjid, a class or an acitvity, and also spend some time alone and reflect and ponder over yourself, your life, over the creations of Allah and most of all Allah himself, read books (not the boring ones lol) and ask Allah to increase you in knowledge...


I hope this helps you bro.


May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen!



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Assalamu Alaykum


Remember that many sahaba knew how to practice the religion and had Islamic Knowledge already before they met with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the first time.



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Even I am studying in a non Islamic School, but what can I do? There are no other options available for me.


When ever you see anything wrong, if you are able to stop it then stop it. If not tell them, if not just believe it in your hear that it is wrong.


Just concentrate with ur studies, and thats it. try to avoid mixing with the opposite gender as much as you can.


Just do your job and try to find a life of ur own, which you can build the way you want.


Remember, always obey ur parents except if they ask you to reject God.


Also, the difficult the test, the higher the reward.


Ameen on the above nice dua...


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