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sarahH.

Is This Sesxism In Islam?

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Look Sarah, my sister in Islam, PLEASE read over what I have said.

 

Allah has allowed us to have 4 wives, you CANNOT QUESTION THAT. You can REFLECT on it and try to UNDERSTAND it but you cannot QUESTION IT. I agree that alot of women in this day and age wouldn't want their husbands to have another 3 wives - However if your husband wants another wife then you cannot question this otherwise you are questioning Allah. Sister, I fear that you are getting yourself into big, big trouble please stop this, if you love Allah!

 

"ohh and about these 4 wives thing what i actually want to know is how many women would like to share their husbands with other women? (you love him alot and can even give up your life for him... you wait for at nite so that u can have dinner with him... you simply love him more than anything)"

 

It is clear to me you are new to Islam because at one time I thought the same thing. However sister, your idea of "love" needs to be changed. Because the kind of love you want, is the kind of love people have with each other as if they are going to live forever in this dunya. You should not love your husband "more than anything" you should love Allah more. And you should love your husband, for the sake of Allah. Before I got into Islam, I was the same as you "Ohhhh she is soooo perfect I love her more then anythiiiing" That's not the way sister, trust me and I have learnt why it isn't the right way. That kind of love, is the kind of love that brings you AWAY from Allah.

 

Anyway sister, it's clear to me now what your problem is. Please seek knowledge in Islam and understanding, and inshallah you will understand in time :sl: Please reflect on what I have said.

 

Your brother in Islam,

 

Mehmet

Edited by Righteous

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Just dropping a line to remind you all to be respectful towards everyone on this forum. Even the non-muslims should be treated with utter most respect and dignity.

 

I was quite taken back after reading this post. Righteous, SarahH has every right to question, she is not violating any Islamic laws therefore respect her, help her and engage with her in a respectful manner.

 

Jazakha'Allah Kair

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Does she have the right to question the laws of Allah? Yes or No.

 

Read what I have said.

Edited by Righteous

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I do understand where your coming from. It's her right if she wants to violate Allah swt laws or not, we can only advise and encourage her. Your trying to help her but you should be careful with the words you use.

 

I won't read the post nor engage in coversation of the ignorant person, or someone who will not reflect.

 

What a stupid, stupid thing to say.

 

Now that isnt very nice is it?

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I said that sister because she totally ignored what I said before. You try to help people but they totally don't want to know.. I don't mean to come out hostile or anything but it's only because she is doing something that's reeeeal bad to do as a God fearing Muslim. I read her previous threads and they are no better :/ Anyway, I think the last reply I was pretty nice hehe.

 

 

Mehmet

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Peace

 

However if your husband wants another wife then you cannot question this otherwise you are questioning Allah

 

A woman may state , in her marriage contract, that she does not want her husband to have another wife, and if he does, then the divorce is automatic.

 

Salaams

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Peace

A woman may state , in her marriage contract, that she does not want her husband to have another wife, and if he does, then the divorce is automatic.

 

Salaams

 

Really? Sorry I didn't know that. Could you give me the daleel for that because that sounds very wrong to me. (doesn't make sense) Did Allah give us the ability to make something which is halal and take it out of the picture? A devout God fearing Muslim wouldn't question something that Allah has giving to us (as a blessing) and I know other people share the same opinion as me.

 

 

Mehmet

Edited by Righteous

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Peace

 

sure thing

 

Among the things that can be included in this contract is a prohibition on the husband marrying other women or rules that can include giving up, or demanding, some responsibilities. It can also be used to regulate the physical relationship of the couple.
by Shaykhu-l-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (d. 728 AH / 1328 CE)

Translated by Yahya Adel Ibrahim Fatwa Contribution Number Four: Taken from the 32nd Volume, Page 164-165. Source: islaam(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

 

He, Rahimahullah, was asked...

 

He was asked about a man who during his pre-marriage negotiations was told that the bride to be stipulates and puts as a condition in her prenuptial (pre-marriage) contract that he is not to seek another wife while married to the her. As well, he was not to take his wife (to be) out of her (own) home. He was also informed that the wife (to be) had a young daughter and that she would be living with her mother and him as long as she remained.

 

He entered into all of this knowingly. Is he bound to fulfill these conditions/stipulations (later on in life). If he was to break one (or more of) these conditions would the wife have the power to demand annulment? Or is the answer no?

 

He (Rh) answered:

 

Alhamdulillah.

 

Yes, these conditions are valid as well as others that are similar to them in the Madh’hab of al-Imam Ahmed and others from amongst the Sahâbah, Tabi‘een and those who followed them. (From those who recognized such stipulations) were ‘Umar bin al-Khattab, ‘Amr bin al-‘Aas, Shurayh the Judge, al-Awza‘i and Ishaq.

 

Due to this we see that during this era we have the Sidaqat (dowry stipulations) of the People of Maghrib sanctioned these Shooroot because they are (still) upon the understanding the Madh’hab of al-Awza‘i from the days his Madh'hab governed them.

 

The Madh’hab of Malik validates a stipulation upon a man in which it is stipulated that he is not to marry another women while in marriage with the first (wife) or else she will be given the order (power) in her hand (to annul the marriage). She would be given the power to separate from him at her choice.

 

This position of Malik is similar in meaning to the position of al-Imaam Ahmed.

 

These is (built upon) what has been reported by the two Shaykhs (Bukhari and Muslim) that an-Nabi (saw) said: “The most deserving of conditions to be honoured/fulfilled are those which the genitalia are deemed Halaal by them (Marriage is built upon their acceptance).â€

(Bukhari Eng: 3:882-O.B)

 

‘Umar bin al-Khattab (ra) said: “The absolute rights are (established with their) stipulations.â€

If, at anytime, he does not fulfill her stipulations and marries another then she can annul her marriage with him (when she wishes).

Sources: (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_en.wikipedia(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/wiki/Islamic_Marriage_Contract"]1[/url] , (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetanswers(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/topic/islamic-marriage-contract"]2[/url], (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetallaahuakbar(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/womens/what_a_woman_may_stipulate_in_marraige_contract2.htm"]3[/url]

 

Salaams

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Hm, okay, I don't know anything about this so I can't say anything but thanks anyway.

 

 

Mehmet

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Peace

 

we, as normal muslims do not know every single detail of our religion. There are tens of thousands of rulings on specific issues, and this is why we rely on the scholars to remind us.

 

Salaams

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Thanks for your reply,

 

I understand that. But I cannot understand WHY that would be the case it doesn't add up.

 

If a woman didn't want her husband to have any more wives, but he husband did - but he agreed to it for whatever reason then I think that woman would be questioned about that.

 

However, if the man cannot afford another woman then fair enough. But what if later on he could and he wanted to take more then one wife on? I think the woman may be held to question why he took something given to man for a REASON from Allah.

 

Yani, what reason/excuse does a woman have for not allowing her husband to have more then one wife? If it's simply "He can't marry anyone else! His mine! My preciiiiious" - then I don't think that kind of thinking is very Islamic, what do you think? Following the Prophet, and his relations with his wives he didn't have these problem from his partners.

 

I hope you understand what I am trying to say,

 

 

Mehmet

Edited by Righteous

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Does she have the right to question the laws of Allah? Yes or No.

 

Read what I have said.

 

Allah created us as beings with reason

now if you dont question the deen how do you learn? how do u know your following the right religion?

there's nothing in the quran that tells us to follow blindly

nowhere does Allah command us do something that has no significance behind it

so she has every right to question the significance of certain things

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i agree daconoor when posing a question it should be asked in a respectful way

 

 

 

Can a woman sing nasheed or read quran aloud in front of men(such as a competiotion etc.)

 

a women cannot sing in front of me but she can read quran in front of them the only ayah in the quran that speaks of the womens voice says that she should not speak in a sensual or flirtatious manner

Can a woman give a divorce instead of asking for a divorce? dunno

Can a woman call for prayers(adhaaN)?no

Can she be an imam?to females yes

 

Can a woman rule a country?the quran speaks of the queen of sheba and nowhere does it say a female cannot rule, people who say it is forbidden use a hadith narrated 25yrs after the prophets death whom one male is the only witness to. it might not be encouraged because we females have our own designated part of society but saying it forbidden simply because of a persons gender is odd (and to some of yall reading this please do not bring up the excuse of pms because many women have been leaders in the past and their nations have prospered)

 

Can a woman have 4 husbands if all these men are infertile(the probabilyt may b zero but please do not give twisted answer.. just say yes or no)?no but men arent allowed to just marry 4 women either matter of fact Allah discourages it in the quran because he knows they wont be able to treat them all equally and the context in which this hadith was revealed was during the battle of uhud when there were many unmarried women and not enough men so they took them in for protection etc. it was'nt like "i'm tired of my first wife i'm gona get me another one IT HAD NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH LUST but tell that to muslim men today

Can a woman be the head of the family(why a patriarchy all the time?)a marraige is partnership.what do you mean?

Can a woman live alone in a foregin unislamic country? depends on ur madhab

Why cant woman do hajj without a mahram?(so sexist) for protection my dear the whole reason u have mehrams is for protection not so you can be kept on lockdown,it's for your own benefit

 

And also when a couple is divorced... after seven a son can stay with whoever he wants... but the daughter has to saty with a father... is this true ? and if it is it fair? never heard of it

 

and why is it that after 3 divorces if stil the couple wants 2 get back together then the women need to get mnarried 2 some other man? never heard of that either, i watched a documentary on iran and i noticed that too. ask shias

 

and what is mutah marriage? is this leagal? nope

 

and is it true that men were allowed to have sex with slave women during the olden times?complicated ask a sheik

 

How many of you women would like it if ur husbands had 3 extra wives?how many of you can actually bear it that your husbands would be actually having sex with someone that is NOT YOU?

there are some women who are allright with it some arent. my grandpa never married another women while he was married to my grandma. but later on he did because the females he was with were okay with it.if you dont like it leave.

 

why is that a man can marry a woman of the book but not a muslim woman?(completely sexis)

there are certain conditions for men marrying non-muslims as for muslimahs marrying non muslims look it up i cant right an essay right now

why is it that the woman always need a male guradian?for protection but it also depends on your madhab

 

why cant a man hit her wife if she is bad yet when a womans husband is bad she has to go talk o the authority... simply why cant a man go to the authority isntead of hitting.... prophets hadiths contradict the quranic message here...

the prophet never beat his wives and was totally against it and besides it is'nt hitting it's tapping with a miswak and even a fly would'nt be hurt from that and even in that case you should'nt do it the quran is'nt black white and the term used in the quran can also translate into admonish it depends on the translation you get.

 

and why is that hijab for the men is from navel to knees(less than half the body) and completely from head to toe for the woman(95%)

why do you think? and be realistic and men have a dresscode that is even more complicated than the females. but do most of them follow it?nope their to busy telling muslim women what to do yet are dressed as kafirs. funny is'nt it?

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Can a woman sing nasheed or read quran aloud in front of men(such as a competiotion etc.)

 

No, because Islam is a protective religion. The voice of the woman is sacred and we are to fragile to sustain the beauty of her voice. Her voice is adornment zeenah of impecable beauty, zeena that may lead to zina. Men cannot handle her voice.

 

 

Can a woman give a divorce instead of asking for a divorce?

 

Whatever is the truth, it is good.

 

 

Can a woman call for prayers(adhaaN)?Can she be an imam?

 

Not if the congregation is mixed with men and women. She can do it to teach her children.

 

 

Can a woman rule a country?

 

Yes, by bringing up the sons and daughters and to produce and educate righteous offspring who will become righteous Muslims and just leaders and maybe even Righteous Leaders of the State. She cannot be leader of the state herself. Allah knows what makes women happy.

 

 

Can a woman have 4 husbands if all these men are infertile(the probabilyt may b zero but please do not give twisted answer.. just say yes or no)

 

Women cannot marry more than one man. That's the decision, so be it.

 

 

Can a woman be the head of the family(why a patriarchy all the time?)

 

To be the head of the family is a great burden and a great responsibility. The woman is already the heart of the family. It is her right and his obligation that he is the head of the family. Even if the woman is the head of the family it is still his obligation to provide for the family.

 

Can a woman live alone in a foregin unislamic country?

 

Whatever Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decided is good. Allah knows best. Islam is a protective religion. Protection and safety come before personal desires and personal convenience.

 

 

Why cant woman do hajj without a mahram?(so sexist)

 

Allah knows best. Islam is a protective religion and the blood and skin of the Muslim sister is sacred, more sacred than the Kaaba.

 

 

And also when a couple is divorced... after seven a son can stay with whoever he wants... but the daughter has to saty with a father... is this true ? and if it is it fair?

 

Allah knows best.

 

 

and why is it that after 3 divorces if stil the couple wants 2 get back together then the women need to get mnarried 2 some other man?

 

What Allah swt decides is good.

 

 

and what is mutah marriage? is this leagal?

 

Allah knows best

 

 

and is it true that men were allowed to have sex with slave women during the olden times?

 

Allah knows best.

 

How many of you women would like it if ur husbands had 3 extra wives?how many of you can actually bear it that your husbands would be actually having sex with someone that is NOT YOU?

why is that a man can marry a woman of the book but not a muslim woman?(completely sexis)

why is it that the woman always need a male guradian?

 

Islam is a protective religion, protecting the honour and sanctity that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bestowed on women.

 

why cant a man hit her wife if she is bad yet when a womans husband is bad she has to go talk o the authority... simply why cant a man go to the authority isntead of hitting.... prophets hadiths contradict the quranic message here...

 

The husband is her Imam and he can inflict Hudud Punishment which expiates the sin, insha'Allah.

 

 

and why is that hijab for the men is from navel to knees(less than half the body) and completely from head to toe for the woman(95%)

 

Because women are more beautiful than men and have a different body, even women cannot handle to see the beauties of the women, what about men? The body of the woman is sacred in the sight of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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Peace

 

If a woman didn't want her husband to have any more wives, but he husband did - but he agreed to it for whatever reason then I think that woman would be questioned about that.

 

However, if the man cannot afford another woman then fair enough. But what if later on he could and he wanted to take more then one wife on? I think the woman may be held to question why he took something given to man for a REASON from Allah.

 

The woman is not doing anything wrong. She cannot prevent her husband from marrying another woman, but she can make a contract which says that if he does, then divorce is automatic. This is Allah(swt)'s mercy to the couple, that they may make agreements and respect them.

 

A woman might want her husband to be only with her for many reasons, and if she specifies that in the contract and the husband agrees, then he has to respect her decision. Islam is a mercy to mankind

 

Salaams

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peace

 

 

why is that a man can marry a woman of the book but not a muslim woman?

 

There are very, very few truly christian or jewish women these days. A muslim man is only allowed to marry a very pious christian girl who covers her head etc, which is very rare in our times. So basically a muslim man is only allowed to marry muslim women now.

 

Salaams

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:sl:

 

Question: Do you believe in Allah and His Messenger [pbuh]?[using large font size is not allowed]

 

Question: Do you believe Allah is All Knowing All Wise?[using large font size is not allowed]

 

Question: Do you believe you are equal to Allah in Wisdom and Knowledge [or anything for that matter]?[using large font size is not allowed]

 

Question: Do you believe Allah is AL-'ADL (The Just)?[using large font size is not allowed]

 

w/salaam

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Excuse me? If you believed in Allah, and if you believed the Quran is from Allah - you would not ask such a question.

 

What kind of a God fearing person would ask such a question sister? Just because you can't understand why women would have different rights to men does that mean Islam is sexist? The rights given to man and women are from Allah, Allah knows what is best for you.

 

Please sisters, think this through - Mostly women will be in hell.. or are you going to tell me that that is because Allah has something against women?

Mehmet

 

So what your saying is that Islam(submission to god) means to be brainwashed. is Islam compatible with rational thought?

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"this is the thing...whats the big deal with a womans voice? what? are Muslim men that perverted that when they hear a muslim womans voice they are just gonna go and rape them?"

 

THANK YOU sister. this is a huge reason why i changed my mind in becoming muslim. i find it extremely insulting from a mans point of view that women cant be Imams. I am not a dog. I am a human being. Even though I am a man I am capable of controlling myself at ALL times. (I am scandinavian so in our culture we drink alot, but even when i have been completly inebriated I have NEVER EVER done anything with a girl. my body is for my future wife and my wife only to see.)

 

Salam sister may Allah protect you from his "followers".

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righteous you cannot be for real. either the FBI or mossad or whatever has you here to bait muslims so as to prosecute them. (Im from florida i know the FBI was harassing alot of my muslim friends) and if you are for real then god help us.

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Lars, don't talk about things which you know nothing about. What is wrong with you people? The Muslims here and non muslims do you have trouble reading?

 

This is the last time I will say this, please read it slowly those of you who have trouble understanding.

 

We do not question Allah. Yes you can use your brain to THINK, to try to UNDERSTAND it, but not to QUESTION it. If you don't like this, then that's a problem between you and Allah not me.

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Look Sarah, my sister in Islam, PLEASE read over what I have said.

 

"Allah has allowed us to have 4 wives, you CANNOT QUESTION THAT. You can REFLECT on it and try to UNDERSTAND it but you cannot QUESTION IT."

 

classic cult mentality, if you question bad things happen to you. you cant say how or why, but bad things will happen. the purpose of the cult is not to help or empower the individual but to promote the growth and power of the cult.

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Thanks for pointing out Sarahs post.

 

"this is the thing...whats the big deal with a womans voice? what? are Muslim men that perverted that when they hear a muslim womans voice they are just gonna go and rape them?"

 

I expect this kind of insult from you, someone told me you may not be Muslim, and you are a Jew - really makes me wonder (Allah knows)

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Lars why don't you just go away, you talk so much stupidness do yourself a favour and everyone else.

 

{Moderator note}

This post violated forum rule #30. Action taken. View (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetgawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?act=boardrules"]details[/url].

Edited by freedslave

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Lars, don't talk about things which you know nothing about. What is wrong with you people? The Muslims here and non muslims do you have trouble reading?

 

This is the last time I will say this, please read it slowly those of you who have trouble understanding.

 

We do not question Allah. Yes you can use your brain to THINK, to try to UNDERSTAND it, but not to QUESTION it. If you don't like this, then that's a problem between you and Allah not me.

 

being that i question i clearly know more than you. your imediate resort to ad-hominum attack shows your ignorance (you attack me personally and not my ideas) my closest friends father is a brilliant Imam i trust his advice much more than yours. open your mind to the beautiful things god has created for you.

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