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Princess Mujahada

Would Everyone Hate Me?

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:no:

 

I sometimes hate myself for being so cowardly as to not stand up when I see something (Islamically) wrong. What will Allah say to me on the day of judgment for not trying harder to encourage/correct/teach my fellow Muslims when I see them disobeying him?

 

I guess something that stops me is because information of any kind, in this era, is so abundant that I am almost always sure that they ALREADY know the Islamic ruling on an ISSUE?

Such simple things. Like reminding someone to wake up for fajr! If I tell them, they will get annoyed. They will say "I know," which drives me insane. Yet I know I have to tell them, just like we have to give dawah to those who don't believe, because even if Allah wills for them never to become Muslim, we don't want them to ask us on the day of judgment "why didn't you tell us?"

 

Just like I don't want my fellow brothers and sisters to ask me, why didn't I tell them?

 

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri said:

I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:

“Whoever among you sees an evil action[using large font size is not allowed], let him change it with his hand[using large font size is not allowed] (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue[using large font size is not allowed] (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart [using large font size is not allowed](by hating it and feeling that it is wrong), and that [using large font size is not allowed]is the weakest of faith.†[using large font size is not allowed]

(Narrated by Muslim, 49).

 

Insha'Allah one day soon I will have more strength to help correct or change the wrongdoings of my Muslim friends. And insha'Allah more importantly I will have the wisdom of the best manner of doing that.

 

Yet I wonder, if I did stop at all that was wrong and give them the laws of Allah's, would everyone hate me? (More than they might already :sl:)

 

I always try to say things in a nice way... but I know even when people correct me, I feel embarrassed and possibly awkward around them. I want people to correct me when they see me doing wrong but I also need to learn how to accept it and feel happy about it.

 

:sl:

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salaam:

sis/bro...when you remind a muslim of his/her flawed action you have already done your duty....and no...you are wrong if you think your pointing out other's mistakes(breaches of Allah's laws) will make them hate you...the spirit/soul/rooh listens to the angel that is attached to each of us..science calls it the conscience...that listens to Allah's commands...and Allah has decreed already that 'haque' or 'truth' will always be honored and respected....so when you point out someone's error ,his/her soul actually respects you for being forthright...haque is one of Allah's names/attributes and havent you read"{translation}"everything in the skies and the earth bows to Allah".../?...and when you are giving da'wa you are the tool of haque...so NO..they will rather respect you...and that is your only role..to give da'wa...what they do after your da'wa is between them and our Creator.."you are not upon them a monitor"(not accurately translated from the quran)..

and may Allah add barakah to your engagement and marriage (soon i hope)..

pray for me too please, and ask your fiance to do that for me too...i am single and wish to get married to a woman who wishes to be muhsuina,mo'mina and a wife....salaam.

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pray for me too please, and ask your fiance to do that for me too...i am single and wish to get married to a woman who wishes to be muhsuina,mo'mina and a wife....salaam.

Salamu alaykum,

okay maybe i am going a bit off topic but.. Brother, you said somewhere you married like 7 times in your life. And now you're single again? When i look at your profile, i see that you are older now, so what are you searching for brother, i cant actually understand, why does a person on earth marry and divorce 7 times in his life? And you're a psychologist...Sorry but it sounds so weird to me.

 

^ To the topic, sis again you made a good job. Sometimes i ask the same question to myself, would they hate me? Some people cannot stand to be warned even if we do our best to treat them in the kindest way. It's about their personalities that is so hard to change. But i think we should show people our sincerity while warning them about some issues. If they see our honesty, they would think twice and at least talk inside that if they should do it still or not. :sl: And thats a good step to make a thing right. We are responsible people as muslims, and inshallah we can help other people as far as we can! Thank you again for reminder hadith, jazakallah hkayr.

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Salamu alaykum,

okay maybe i am going a bit off topic but.. Brother, you said somewhere you married like 7 times in your life. And now you're single again? When i look at your profile, i see that you are older now, so what are you searching for brother, i cant actually understand, why does a person on earth marry and divorce 7 times in his life? And you're a psychologist...Sorry but it sounds so weird to me.

 

jazakallah hkayr.

 

Salaam:[using large font size is not allowed]

Jazakillah for being forthright and asking the question you did …[using large font size is not allowed]

My answer:[using large font size is not allowed]

My first marriage was to a class fellow at the medical college, she was Syrian and knew English, she loved me(she thought,, as I did too…. at 21 years of age ; when parents are still living one knows nothing of the word love or what it means)..anyway I told her I could not resist being physical with my female friends and if she was a 'virgin' she should not see me…but she said she was not a virgin…those days I was not a practicing muslim at all…anyway we slept together once and I realized she was a virgin..so I asked her why she had said she was not a virgin, she told me she did not know what the word virgin meant….. and in Arabic(since she was Syrian)the word is "bikr"…and though I knew Arabic, I did not know that word…so I married her the next day although our parents were against that marriage…[using large font size is not allowed]

and so it ended like every marriage consummated without the elders' blessing s does…it ended with us hating each other..in a couple of years…22 out of those 24 months we lived away from each other…i.e., she in Kuwait and myself in Pakistan..[using large font size is not allowed]

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The second marriage was arranged by my elder sisters(since my parents had died…and my other two brothers had married of their own choices..so my marrying of my sisters' choice gave them[my sisters] a sort of buoyancy/status in their in-laws eyes)…and this lady was a nobody to me..i knew nothing about her and she wanted to know nothing about me(she had agreed to marry only coz her dad had insisted)…as a matter of example, the first sentence she said to me on our wedding night was, "may I go to my university hostel(in another city) once the marriage receptions(valeemaa) is over.to complete my M.Sc in microbiology.?"…[using large font size is not allowed]

this marriage ended in 6 years..we lived for 6 years together because she delivered my son exactly 9 months after our marriage and then my daughter after 26 months of our marriage…we tried but we failed..the total conversation we had during six years must be less than six hours..[using large font size is not allowed]

although we traveled widely during those six years but there was nothing common between us and I sank deeper into drugs for having to keep the family honor alive by maintaining that marriage to someone I knew not and who wanted to not know me too.…[using large font size is not allowed]

My third marriage was to a jewish American who worked with me in saudi Arabia..who was 17 years older than me…and the first time I saw her:(she was 50 and myself 33 and women thought I was exceptionally good looking then…she was lamenting how she was very lonely…..i picked up immediately that she was making a pass at me…there was nothing physically attractive about her…not even her job…since I was a doctor and she a medical transcriptionist..though she was head of that deptt.)) I thought to myself,"if I can somehow convince this woman to say laa ilahaa il-Allah before she dies(since she was 50) then I will have saved her from hell…so that marriage was out of sympathy or less euphemistically it was simply because I felt sorry for her…she had no family,parents,siblings,children and she did convert to Islam at the hands of the arab/Saudi mufti Abdullah bin baaz..so I married her..[using large font size is not allowed]

The fourth marriage was because I was in Uzbekistan at age 35 and the proverbial beauty of the women there made me very vulnerable to zinaa/negative sex…so I decided to marry the first woman that I saw the next morning(this was when I had called my wife, the american ,for the sixth time and begged her to come to Uzbekistan and told her I was very vulnerable to negative sex and the beauty in uzbekistan is historically recognized, Alexander the great married from there….but she, the American, said she had other responsibilities in florida) and that first lady I saw the next day was.. was my land lady..she was a turk uzbek ..and she was 38 while I was 35 ..but she did love me, and I took advantage of her by dipping/diving/drowning into alcohol..she tolerated my excesses and physical abuse for one year and finally decided (alhmdulillah) to leave me…(while we stayed married for a year, and I lived in her apartment,yet I paid her rent for the flat and rent for her services as a cook and washing my clothes…she repeatedly refused to accept that rent but I would always win by telling her that with me paying the rent meant she was living in my house and not vice versa, and her accepting the rent kept me feeling like a man and not a gigolo..so she would always accept but reluctantly..she had a bigger heart than I did, or anyone else I ever met in all my years..(including the men I met)….this should show why Chechens are the greatest/bravest mujahideen coz they too are of pure Turkish descent/blood))[using large font size is not allowed]

my fifth marriage was to a Russian semi Christian- semi communist- full time whore(I don’t use that word to demean her but that was her actual person, she did not try making a secret of it…in the communist countries sex is like chewing gum, you buy it and chew on it without even reading the wrapper/knowing the person's first or last name)…it was only because we both loved alcohol…it ended 4 months….and ended because she would take a leather belt to her 5 year old son when she was drunk(at night)…the son was not used to sleeping alone and she would insist that he slept on the couch in the living room,alone…I would tell her to let the kid sleep with us and once he was asleep I could shift him to the couch, but she was either too drunk to logic or in too much of a hurry to do whatever she wanted to do without her son looking…I developed abhorrence/hatred for the withcy selfishness she exhibited every night without fail…….i paid her rent for her house, so she would feel she was living in my house and not I in her's…so one night, like every night, when I interrupted the thrashing she turned on me like every night…usually I would smile at having managed saving the child, because her blows to me made no difference, but that night she grabbed me by the hair and struck my head against the wall of the kitchen…the hooks in the wall, for hanging things from. struck the back of my head and the pain made me shove her so ferociously that she got scared and ran away..the next morning when she came back I had already packed and was only waiting for her to take the flat keys from me…she demanded haque mahar and I gave her a pack of pal-mal cigarettes and told her that the torture show she made me endure every night was the haque mahar, plus ofcourse the pal-mal cig .pack[using large font size is not allowed]

Those were 5 marriages…not 7…and they failed because I was not serious about life…[using large font size is not allowed]

loosing my father at age 21 and mom at age 22 (yarhamhum Allah) and having lived with my family only 9 years out of those 21 years,(since I was sent to study in Pakistan at age 4…and went back to parents in Saudi at age 7 to come back to pakitsan at age 12…..had made me love my father more than anything in the world…my father was home to me…not the house they lived in or the rest of the family…in all we are seven brothers and sisters..i was the only one sent away to study in a foreign country; Pakistan was foreign to me since I was born in Saudi) had convinced me that nothing in life was worth getting attached to or working hard for except Allah…and I was very weak to follow Allah's laws…I was very ill-informed and full of questions too about Islam…and I thought if I did not obey Allah why should I obey anything/ anyone/any custom other than Allah or Allah's….[using large font size is not allowed]

I converted/reverted to Islam at age 41,,before that all my marriages and relationships were selfish and self-centered…and my intents haraam or at least makrooh/unliked by Allah and Rasool.….[using large font size is not allowed]

At 42 at the behest/request of muslim doctors, I started this rehab facility for muslim drug addicts to train them to get as much pleasure, rather more, out of deen as they did/do out of drugs…[using large font size is not allowed]

My rehab facility and the book I wrote is honored by the paki govt..and my results are above 30% successful…my book explains in very simple language the exact micro science, and micro spirituality of the cause, treatment and cure of the disease and has been translated to English and Arabic…and I intend to translate it to Russian as well…[using large font size is not allowed]

[using large font size is not allowed]

So what I mean to say is that I did not convert to Islam until I was 41, that was why my marriages failed…now I am 48[using large font size is not allowed]

And 48 is not "old" for a muslim….i walk 12 to 14 kilometers/day…and out of those 12/14,…. 6 km are done at a speed of 1km/8.7 minutes….and I walk not for energy or weight loss but there are ahadeeth about the advantages of walking and I walk in preparation for jihad insha-Allah.in fact Muhammad alaih assalaam was 40 when he told his wife, our mother khadijaa,"pack my beddings and put them away, my days for resting have terminated"…[using large font size is not allowed]

and from 40 till 63 he fought at least 17 wars and spread the light of Islam over most of Arabia….he married ayesha(our mother when he was 49(I guess/I could be wrong…it could be 50)..he was 60(could be 61 or59) when in the war of hunain he was alone in facing the entire army of the kuffar(the other suhaabaa had been scattered away from the rasool by the initial volley of arrows and stones from the kuffar army…muhammad alone faced the entire army of the kuffar…that was rushing towards him..he got off his horse, struck the front legs of his horse with the scabbard of his sword..so the horse would sit down,and then faced that entire army of around 15000, and threw pebbles at them saying the poetic verse, "I am the nabi and that is no lie, I am the son of ibn muttalib"[using large font size is not allowed]

Now I wish to marry for completing my imaan& keeping me from getting trapped in some haraam reklationship & for having a partner,…the rasool alaih assalaam has said, "marry for it completes your imaan, also he said, it fortifies your modesty/lowers your gaze,brings rizq, and makes jannah vaajib if marriage was to avoid zinaaa, and 2 navaafil of a married man equal 70 navaafil of an unmarried man"…[using large font size is not allowed]

I have not been with a woman since june 3 '1999..(then I was addicted to heroine)[using large font size is not allowed]

And in my practice I get many opportunities for haraam sex…but so far ,Allah has protected me from haraam….i wish to get married so that I am no longer vulnerable to haraam sex…..and ofcourse I need to get married because jannat/paradise was incomplete for our father (adam alaih assalaam) without a wife..also because Muhammad alaih asslaam has described 5 basic needs for a man…one of those basic needs is a wife…also if I have a wife I can start taking in female patients(it is not allowed in Islam to interact with female patients in the absence of one's(dr.'s mother/sister/wife or daughter)…..so[using large font size is not allowed]

This was the whole truth…and I know that this time when I get married I wont fail her or myself.. rather I will make an example for other muslim men about treating women as ornaments ,not commodities…insha-Allah( I just wish I get a wife who is willing to be a wife, not a master or a teacher or a competitor with other women in matters of wealth, style and insane racing for attention)…so do pray for me please….[using large font size is not allowed]

(about how old I am at 48).here in the therapeutic community there have been times when I managed 7 patients(addicts) at the same time, without a single staff member( and our therapeutic community is for patients who are not willing to take treatment but are committed by their families to this centre..against the patient's will…so it is like a jail for them..at least in their first 15 to 20 days when they resist with all their mental and physical might and try their best to run away…by the 15th to the 20th day they have decided/gotten convinced that being with us is a blessing for them so then they become helpers for me and my staff and no longer remain dangerous))…in those days when i was alone and had no staff members, and 7 patients to treat,I would start the day with saying fajar azaan, and leading the prayer for the patients, then as they would fall back to sleep, I would go and get the groceries for the clinic, and then prepare breakfast fro them, and by then they would be awake,and when they were showered and ready I would serve them breakfast, and as they had that I would come to my office, shower and get ready for the day…during the day I delivered the lectures, held therapeutic groups, managed individual counseling, administered the office, met any visitors, or enquiries, held family meetings with inpatients' families, and then with help of my patients prepared lunch,,then I would lead the zuhar prayers, and serve lunch after that and put them to sleep(compulsory in the treatment regimen)..i would myself then rest till asar prayer, before which I would give them tea and then lead the asar prayer…then from asar prayer to maghrib we would have an informal group discussion(which is the best form of psychotherapy) after I lead the maghrib prayer I would send them to the wards, and attend to the office works that needed doing..file keeping, tele-calls, bill records etc…after I served dinner to them I would lead the ishaa paryers then read to them from ahaadeeth and then allow them 15 minute break for smoking and hold a review group for the day's doings/learnings and then send them to bed…..and when they went to sleep I would go for my walk(which was only 7 km those days) and then come back to work on the internet, to chat to a few friends, keep my website and opendiary about the clinic updated…all this while I also was responsible for medicating them and treating whatever little/minor/feigned illnesses they would have during rehab……so no I am not old…rather if one of my sisters or ex-wives saw the amount of work I put in a single 24 hours they would swear I was not the same rich and spoiled brat that I was all my life….they would swear I am someone else…my twin who is a doctor himself, and who did not squander the wealth his dad(yarhamhu Allah) left him, gets amazed at how I managed rising from the gutter to be considered an authority in my profession…..[using large font size is not allowed]

however, this was all the doings of deen…I only practice about 3% of it….and yet that 3% has changed me and helped me change many families from seculars to practicing muslims(al-hamd is only for Allah….and none for me…I just tried following rasoolullah's footsteps, and as I admitted above, only 3 % of it)[using large font size is not allowed]

…and if you wish to ask any more questions about my marital history please feel free you would be doing me a favor by allowing me to explain…salaam and jazakillah for your courage and straightforwardness.[using large font size is not allowed]

[using large font size is not allowed]

Edited by abukhaleel

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:sl:

 

Please keep on topic. Feel free to start a new, separate topic to discuss whatever you feel like discussing, but not here please. Going off-topic is a violation of IF rules, and is not fair to the topic starter.

Thank you for helping us better organize IF. :sl:

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:sl:

 

Please keep on topic. Feel free to start a new, separate topic to discuss whatever you feel like discussing, but not here please. Going off-topic is a violation of IF rules, and is not fair to the topic starter.

Thank you for helping us better organize IF. :sl:

salaam...

about reminding others when they seem too close to crossing the line,or endangering their own well being by going out of Allah's fixed /told/instructed bounds.....that is the only commodity that each of us will carry with us fromk this life to our grave...nothing else..

even the nimaaz/salaat and fasting ,charity etc..is managed by each of us simply becaus the taqdeer/destiny writer (Allah subhanohu v ta'laa), wrote it such......so only da'wah remains our personal accomplishment...salaam

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